Page 30 of Persuaded

“No.” Sean grabbed his arm. “No, Josh, they broke up. Finn and Liz broke up.”

He stared, pressing his fingernails into the heel of his hand to keep from reacting. “Broke up?”

“Liz got engaged to Dr. Bentley, the hospital doctor she met after the accident.” He snorted a derisive laugh. “She really is all about carpe diem , I guess.”

But Joshua couldn’t laugh; he was devastated. All he could see was Finn begging him not to end it between them, heartbreak in his eyes. He couldn’t bear that it had happened again. “But how is he? Is Finn okay?”

“He’s...” Sean looked at him intently, expression softening in a way that made Joshua’s stomach flutter. “Dude, he’s relieved .”

And what on earth did that mean?

Behind him, the woman started tapping her impatience on the window. “Crap,” Sean muttered, “I really gotta go.” He squeezed Joshua’s arm. “Call me,” he said, with another look at Quinton. “Call me soon, okay?”

And then he disappeared into the crowd and Joshua sank back onto his chair with weak knees.

“Hmm,” Quinton said over the lip of his cup. “‘Curiouser and curiouser,’ cried Alice.”

* * *

Three days later, Joshua was at Create Studios recording his first session.

The other musicians were wired and the pace swift.

Intense was an understatement; there was no time for mistakes and no concentration to spare.

For that, Joshua was grateful—he’d done little but brood about Finn since his conversation with Sean and it was a relief to focus so intensely on something else.

But his distraction never lasted long. Even here, during every break, the questions returned like gulls wheeling high and waiting to swoop.

The thing was, he couldn’t figure out what it meant that Finn was “relieved” his relationship with Liz had ended.

Because, if that was how he felt, then why hadn’t he ended it himself?

The previous night, feeling rebellious and unsettled, Joshua had Googled “Finn Callaghan girlfriends” and “Finn Callaghan boyfriends.” Googling Finn wasn’t something he’d ever let himself do before; last night he’d figured he had nothing left to lose and had spent an hour or two scanning images of Finn with various beautiful women. There were no boyfriends.

He hadn’t been sure what he was looking for at first. But then he’d remembered the picture on his bookshelf—how he and Finn were looking at each other in that picture—and he’d searched for the same connection in the photos of Finn and his girlfriends.

He hadn’t found it.

What that meant, Joshua didn’t know. That all Finn’s relationships had been facades?

That Aunt Ruth had been right and he’d dived into the closet for the sake of his career?

He didn’t know what to make of a man who’d use people like that and couldn’t quite believe it of Finn.

Not that it mattered, of course. Finn had had every opportunity to return to Joshua and he never had. Clearly, he never would. And yet...

And yet, fool that he was, Joshua felt a flicker of hope because, despite everything, Finn was free. He was free again.

By the end of that morning’s session Joshua was hot and sweaty, but on the kind of high you couldn’t get from anything other than good music and hard work.

As he stood up from the piano and stretched his back he saw Quinton watching him through the window with an appreciative smile.

A tilt of his head invited Joshua to join him.

The air was cooler as he stepped into the control booth and nodded his goodbyes to the other musicians who were heading straight to another session. A couple of them looked like they hadn’t slept in a week.

“They probably haven’t,” Quinton agreed when Joshua said as much. “You work when you get a gig in this job, darling—anytime, anyplace, anywhere.”

Joshua thought of his quiet home in New Milton, of the ocean at the end of his street, of the kids he wasn’t teaching, the concerts he wasn’t arranging. “I’m not sure I’m an anytime, anyplace, anywhere kind of guy.”

“Really?” Quinton raked a look over him. “I’ve got budget meetings all afternoon, or I’d show you exactly how to be an anytime, anyplace, anywhere kind of guy.”

Joshua blushed, but didn’t acknowledge or shut down the double entendre.

They both knew what Quinton was offering, but Joshua hadn’t decided whether he was interested.

He really wasn’t into casual hookups, but perhaps he should give it a go in this new life of his?

It might convince him that he’d stopped pining for Finn.

So he smiled instead of answering and Quinton smiled back with a speculative gleam in his eyes.

“I do, however, have time for lunch,” he said.

So they ended up back at All Bar None, at Quinton’s favorite table, and sat rather too close while Quinton spent an hour overtly flirting and Joshua tried to decide whether he liked it or not.

“Tonight,” Quinton said, setting down his napkin, “they have an open mic here—you and I should set the place on fire.”

Joshua shook his head. “I don’t know about that.”

“Oh, come on, darling, it’ll be a laugh. We’ll do Cohen again, and afterwards... My place?” He grinned and pulled out his cigarettes. “Christ, I’m gagging for a fag—as they say in London.”

“Ah—”

“A ciggy.” He tapped his cigarettes in explanation, then glanced out the window and sighed. “Bloody hell, look at that, it’s pissing down.”

The rain fell in sheets, bouncing up from the street outside. People hurried along under umbrellas, heads down, car lights reflecting in the wet pavement, irritable horns blaring.

It would be a wet walk back to the studio.

“Come on,” Quinton said, getting up and throwing a handful of bills on the table. “Let’s go. I’ll find us a cab.”

“In this weather?”

He flashed Joshua as smile as they wove their way through the crowded restaurant. “Trust me, I have a knack.”

Joshua could believe it; Quinton was nothing if not commanding. Imperious, even. It was attractive in its way, dazzling. Joshua could imagine letting himself be dazzled, embracing the distraction.

“Wait here,” Quinton said as he pulled on his overcoat. “No point in us both getting drenched.”

So Joshua waited in the crowded foyer, peering out the steamy windows as Quinton headed off to hail a cab.

Inside, it was hot and humid as people shook off their wet coats and umbrellas.

He wiped a clear spot on the glass and watched Quinton standing at the curb.

The door opened again and Joshua made room as a guy backed inside, trying to get out of the rain and collapse his umbrella at the same time.

“Sorry.” The man turned. “I—”

Everything stopped. Joshua heard nothing but the blood pounding in his ears.

After a stunned pause, Finn Callaghan smiled. “Josh...”

It was a bright, nervous smile that sent Joshua’s heart swooping. His mouth worked and he heard himself say, “Hello, Finn.”

“I, uh...” Finn looked rattled but he was still smiling, warm and unguarded. “Wow. Uh, Sean said he’d seen you in here, but I didn’t think...” He trailed off, briefly met Joshua’s gaze, then looked down to shake the rain from his sleeves. “I’m—I just ducked in to get out of the weather.”

He didn’t know what to make of Finn’s awkwardness. “It’s pretty nasty out.” He guessed the weather was a safe topic. “They say it’s going to turn to snow tonight.”

“You’ll like that, then.” Finn’s smile softened. “You like snow.”

“I do.”

Despite the noisy restaurant, a weighted silence fell between them, comprised of all those things unsaid and unsayable. Finn’s jaw worked like he was chewing on a tough thought, but nothing left his lips save a tense breath.

“I—”

“Are—?”

They spoke at the same time and Finn blushed, gesturing for Joshua to continue.

“I was only going to ask what brings you to New York. I thought you’d be filming.”

“I’ve got a free weekend, so... Sean said you’re working as a studio musician?” He scrubbed a hand through his damp hair. “Sounds cool. You enjoying it?”

Joshua gave an equivocal shrug. “I’ve only played one session, but it was fun. Not sure it’s really for me, but I figured I needed to do something with my life.”

“What do you mean?” Finn’s smile disappeared. “You’re doing something with your life, man. Those kids up in New Milton adore you.”

“Says the rich and famous actor.”

“That’s—” Someone shoved past Finn, pushing him a step closer. So close that Joshua could see the raindrops clinging to the ends of his hair. “Josh, believe me, that means something. I know it’s a cliché, but it’s people that matter.”

Joshua cocked an eyebrow. “Talking of people, how’s Liz?”

Finn flinched. He actually flinched, and Joshua felt at once terrible and vindicated. Finn knew he was in the wrong, Joshua could see the shame in his eyes, and his stupid soft heart tugged toward him. “Yeah, uh—she’s good,” Finn said. “You heard about...everything?”

“Sean told me. He said you weren’t unhappy it ended?”

“No.” He half met Joshua’s eyes. “No, I—I let it go too far with Liz. I didn’t mean to—”

The door opened with a rainy gust of wind. “Joshua!” Quinton called. “Come on, I’ve got us a cab.”

Finn froze with his eyes locked on Joshua’s.

“I have to go.” Joshua edged around him toward the door. “It was good to run into you.”

“Yeah, you too.” Finn turned, his gaze flitting toward Quinton and back to Joshua. “I was hoping we would.”

“Chop-chop, Joshua,” Quinton called from the doorway. “The bugger won’t wait, you know.”

Hot and stifled in the foyer, Joshua felt things slipping through his fingers.

“Hold on,” he told Quinton, turning back to Finn even as Quinton tugged on his sleeve.

“There’s an open mic here tonight. You should come, it looks like fun.

” Finn nodded and Joshua felt a jolt of hope so powerful it almost made him stumble.

“Nine o’clock?” he called as the door closed behind him.

And then Quinton had his hand on Joshua’s back, urging him through the rain to the waiting cab. Just before he climbed inside, he looked back. But Finn was a blurred shape behind the fogged glass, indistinct and out of reach.