Page 4 of Persuaded

There were lights on at Hanworth Hall. He saw them from the opposite side of the bay as the afternoon started to fail, and let his eyes trail down from the Hall to the beach below.

He didn’t let himself think about that summer often, setting those memories to one side, but today he gave himself permission.

Today, he allowed his eyes to run over the dunes, allowed himself to remember the sun on his skin, a joy like heat.

A hope and optimism he’d never known again.

Finn, Finn, Finn.

Part of him wondered whether, if they met again, something between them might rekindle. But the rest of him knew it wouldn’t. Finn had never been shy about getting what he wanted—his resolve had been one of the things that drew Joshua to him—and if Finn had wanted to contact him, he’d have done it.

Joshua had tried himself, once. After his father threw him out he’d headed to LA, following the same golden road to the future that Finn had driven a year earlier, and left a message and his number at the studio where Finn was working.

For weeks—months—afterward he’d jumped every time his phone rang, but Finn had never called and Joshua hadn’t tried to contact him again.

Besides, Finn’s long string of high-profile girlfriends suggested that Ruth had been right all those years ago: a boyfriend would not have been conducive to Finn’s career and, if Joshua hadn’t ended it when he did, things would probably have fallen apart in the end.

Either way, it made no difference now. Finn had evidently moved on.

He stood for some time watching the trees bowing away from the wind, their branches making the lights from Hanworth Hall dance. He watched until it started to rain in earnest and then he turned for home before it got too dark to be on the cliffs.

That evening, once he’d dried off, he ate soup from a can and practiced Chopin’s Etude Opus 10 No. 3 until his fingers ached. But it didn’t fill the hollow in his chest.

* * *

“Newt!” Lexa shouted at him from across the street the next morning. “Wait up!”

Luckily, he couldn’t stop because he was heading up to school to take his morning lessons. Not that it deterred Lexa, and she darted over the road to join him. “You’ll never guess what happened,” she said, falling into step beside him.

“Okay.” Hopefully, he wouldn’t have to try.

“So he totally came into the coffee shop yesterday!”

It took a second for him to swallow because apparently the cliché was true and his heart had leaped into his throat. “F-Finn—?”

“No!” Lexa laughed. “Sean. And his wife, Tejana. She’s gorgeous, by the way. And so’s he, which of course he would be.”

Joshua managed to say, “Oh.”

“Yeah, he was so adorable,” Lexa carried on, oblivious to Joshua’s turmoil.

“And tall—Oh my God! Anyway, he was really cute and was asking us about the town and I was telling him we’d be neighbors, and he said that was cool and that he was going to have a housewarming barbecue next weekend and that we should all come!

” She grinned at him. “Isn’t that awesome? ”

Joshua nodded. “Yes, very friendly.”

“Totally. But that’s not even the best bit.” She bounced on her toes, turning to walk backward in childlike glee. “The best bit is that Finn’s going to be there!”

Which was when the bottom fell out of Joshua’s stomach. “Oh...”

“I know! He’s coming for the weekend or something—actually Sean didn’t know when he was getting here, but he’s definitely going to be at the barbecue. Oh God, I have like a week to lose six pounds.”

Joshua had a week to come up with an excuse. Perhaps he could invent a dead grandmother whose funeral he needed to attend? In China.

But then he realized that Sean probably hadn’t intended to invite him at all.

Wouldn’t it be weird to invite the son of the disgraced tycoon whose house you’d just bought in a fire sale?

Relieved, although shaky at the thought of Finn in that house, of all places, he composed himself enough to say, “It sounds very exciting.”

“Right? I mean, when does anything like that ever happen around here?”

For the rest of the day, Joshua couldn’t think about anything except the fact that Finn would be in his father’s house—that he’d be sleeping in the place where it had all started, and ended, between them. And that Finn would be remembering Joshua. It would be impossible for him not to.

What he’d remember was another question entirely, and another good reason why Sean wouldn’t be inviting Joshua to his party. Finn must have told him what had happened all those years ago and Sean, being a good brother, wouldn’t want to make things awkward.

On one hand he found that a comforting thought, on the other it just deepened his isolation. He stood outside all the excitement erupting in New Milton, an unlucky but familiar place to be. He’d been on the outside all his life.

By Wednesday, excitement levels had reached fever pitch. Joshua had an afternoon shift at the coffee shop, and an extra one the following morning because Lexa and Ali were going clothes shopping and doing something called “threading” to their eyebrows. It sounded painful.

“But totally worth it,” Lexa insisted as they headed out the door.

“I’ll take your word for that.”

“I need to—” She walked right into a tall man in the doorway.

“Whoa,” he said as they collided.

Lexa squealed and then laughed and blushed. “Sean! I’m so sorry.”

Joshua froze behind the counter, eyes darting past the stranger in dread (hope?) of seeing a familiar face behind him. But Sean was alone.

“No problem,” Sean said easily, stepping aside to let Lexa and Ali leave.

Not that they looked like they wanted to go anywhere now. “I didn’t think you were coming back until the weekend,” Ali said, smiling and giggling.

“Well, my brother flew in early, so we decided to come up here a couple days ahead of Tejana.” He gave an easy grin when he saw Lexa and Ali bouncing with excitement. “I left Finn back at the house. He’s still on west-coast time. And, anyway, he’s a lazy bastard in the morning.”

The girls giggled and Joshua turned away, trying not to remember Finn sleeping next to him, dawn sunlight streaming into the little trailer and burnishing his tawny hair. But the memory took hold so powerfully it was all he could see, all he could feel as it coiled up in the pit of his stomach.

“... Newt ?” He started at the sound of his stupid nickname and Lexa frowned at him over the counter. “Earth to Joshua Newton,” she said. “This is Sean.”

For his part, Sean stepped forward with a friendly smile and held out his hand. He had a handsome, open face. “Joshua, I’ve been wanting to meet you.”

Pulling himself together, he shook Sean’s hand. “Yes,” he said stupidly. “Hello.”

Sean’s mouth tightened. Was he about to say something about Finn, about water under the bridge? Joshua flushed in anticipation. But when Sean spoke, he said, “I hope it’s not too awkward about the house. It must be difficult for you.”

“The house?”

Sean gave a nervous laugh. “Um, Hanworth Hall? I just bought your family home.”

“Oh,” Joshua said, because all he could think was, He doesn’t know .

He doesn’t know about me and Finn . “Right. Yes, of course. No, please don’t feel awkward about that.

I’m only glad we could sell it. My father.

.. Well.” He trailed off because no one wanted to talk about Charles Newton, Joshua least of all.

Sean nodded. “I get it. My dad wasn’t exactly father of the year, either.”

Joshua caught himself before he said, Yeah, I know , and they stood there in an awkward silence until Sean cleared his throat. “So,” he said, “I heard this is the best coffee bar in town?”

“By default.” Joshua chanced a smile. “It’s the only coffee bar in town.”

Sean grinned. “Then I’ll have your best latte, please. To go.”

“Coming right up.” Joshua turned to the machine behind him, hands working mechanically as his stupid mind tried to trace Finn’s features in Sean’s face.

Sean’s eyes were milder, more hazel than Finn’s clear green, and although he had a handsome face it didn’t equal his brother’s classical beauty.

He burned less bright than Finn, gentler in every respect.

More approachable. Joshua decided he liked him, just like Finn had predicted all those years ago.

Of course, that just made it hurt even more.

In another life, this man could have been a brother to him—a better brother than his own.

Lexa and Ali propped up the other end of the bar now, whispering together. Joshua sent them a stern look— Leave the man alone! —but they’d always been willful and he had no authority over them.

Lexa grinned. “So, Sean, have you checked out the Rock House yet?”

Joshua kept his back to Sean and finished steaming the milk so it was aerated just right.

“That’s the bar on the edge of town?”

“Yeah. They have live music Tuesday nights. You and Finn should come along.”

Having never been able to flirt, Joshua found himself amazed by how easily it came to others, how little it seemed to embarrass them or look awkward.

Lexa was too young for Sean and he was married anyway, yet she flirted with him brazenly and, through him, with Finn.

Joshua didn’t know whether to be disapproving or envious.

“Actually, that sounds good,” Sean said. “We might do that.”

So easy, Joshua thought as he poured the steamed milk slowly into the middle of the cup, letting it mix with the espresso.

These people who said and did exactly what they wanted astonished him.

He wished he was more like them. Perhaps things would have turned out differently if he’d just taken what he wanted and said to hell with his responsibilities.

“Cool,” Lexa said as Joshua turned around and slid Sean’s latte across the counter.

“There you go.”

Sean thanked him and took a sip, eyes widening in surprise. “This is good,” he said with an appreciative nod. “This is excellent .”