Page 33

CHAPTER 33

NATE

River decided to stay after practice to help Coach Marten with new plays. He’s our team captain and the best player in Division I hockey. If not for his insistence to get a college degree, the NHL would have drafted him years ago.

My best friend is dedicated. Loyal. So I know he won’t deny me the one thing I want. A few days ago, we made a mess on the bed, his sheets soaked in our cum, a reminder of what we did.

Since then, he’s made excuses to get out of spending time alone. But late at night, when the house is silent, I climb into his bed and make him come.

He doesn’t know I stayed behind after practice, like a fucking stalker waiting in the shadows. The locker room is empty. Coach Marten and the staff are gone for the day. My teammates left an hour ago. So I strip off my clothing and head into the shower.

With his back to me, River leans forward, the water running over his dark brown hair. His palm is on the wall, the other hand around his dick.

Fuck.

Keeping my footsteps slow and quiet, I walk toward him, staring at his ass. I like what I see. He’s tanned and toned in all the right places. Every inch of his body has planes and ridges sculpted to perfection.

I kneel behind him and spread his cheeks. He gasps at the sudden contact and jumps forward.

“It’s just me.”

River glances over his shoulder. “What are you doing?”

“Helping you get off.” I spread him wider. “You said you wanted my tongue in your ass. Keep stroking your dick, Riv.”

“Are you…” He groans, his body angled, but his ass is still in my face, right where I want him. “Fuck, are you serious right now?”

“I’m on my knees offering to lick you until you come. Turn around and keep fucking your hand.”

Etching my fingers into his muscular flesh, I dive between his cheeks and lick his pretty hole. A moan slips past his lips.

“Jerk that big dick for me. Show me how much you love my tongue in your ass.”

“Fuck,” he mutters and faces the wall. “Are we alone?”

“Didn’t seem like you cared a minute ago,” I say with a silly grin he can’t see.

“It’s not the same, and you know it.”

“It’s just us.” I shove my hand between his legs, and he widens his stance, making more room for me. “Bend forward.”

I slap his ass, and with the water raining down on us, he yelps at the sting.

“Did that hurt?”

He moans, so I do it again.

“You better come for me, Riv. I want you to save yourself for me, squeeze the last drop of your cum onto my tongue.”

As I lick him up and down, toying with his hole, he bucks against my mouth, driving me fucking wild. Every time I see him naked, I want to bury my tongue, fingers, and dick inside him.

Does that make me gay?

Honestly, I have no idea anymore. River has worked some kind of sorcery on me.

I don’t like other men.

When I’m with my teammates, I feel nothing. Not even an ounce of attraction. I wouldn’t let any of those assholes touch my dick if they paid me.

“Nate,” River chokes out, panting. “I’m so close. Right there. Put your finger in my ass.”

“Turn around.”

He does as I instruct, and my mouth closes over the tip of his cock. I bob my head up and down, slow then fast.

“Holy fuck,” he growls, his palm dropping to my head.

River is a good nine inches and thick, so I’m not surprised to have some resistance. Fitting him into my mouth is a struggle, but I find a good rhythm.

He grabs my hand and guides my finger. River moans when I breach the first layer of muscle. His hooded green eyes meet mine. I’ve watched him come plenty of times. But the look of pleasure spreading across his face is unlike anything I have witnessed.

I did this to him.

“Nate,” he moans, threading his fingers through my hair, and the sound is music to my ears. “Mmm. I’m coming.”

He came a lot for me this week.

I could get used to seeing my best friend lose control, and I want to be responsible for his orgasms. Loving how he tastes, I swallow his cum and lick my lips to lap up every drop.

Shit, I just guzzled my best friend’s cum like a sorority girl at a frat party .

Yeah, I’m definitely not straight anymore. Not sure how I would classify what we just did.

River grips my chin and smears his thumb across my bottom lip. “You’re so hot. I love watching you on your knees for me. Taking my cock.”

I rise from the floor and slip my fingers between his. “I figured out my sexuality.”

He cocks his head to the side. “And?”

“I’m Riversexual.”

He laughs. “That’s not a thing.”

“I’m making Riversexual a sexual orientation. It’s happening.”

River playfully shoves his palms into my chest. “You’re so stupid.”

“Yeah, but you love it.”

Pinning him against the tiled wall, I raise his arms above his head. Our dicks touch, and the skin-to-skin contact feels incredible. “Neither of us can go public with this. We can keep it a secret, Riv. Just the two of us. We can still get married and have families. No one will ever know.”

River closes his eyes and groans. “I don’t want to get married and have kids with a woman. It’s also not fair to bring other people into a lie.”

“I’m willing to lie if you are.”

“I can’t do this right now.” He pushes me off him and inches toward the exit. “I’ll see you at home.”

Why does he keep doing this to me?

He bolts from the room.

I follow River to our lockers, towel wrapped around my waist, showing off all the muscles he loves touching.

“I’m not letting you go,” I tell him. “You’re not walking away from me.”

His head snaps to me, and wet strands of dark hair flop onto his forehead. Fuck, he’s killing me. Every bone and muscle in my body aches for him.

He bites his lip, studying my face as if trying to memorize every feature. “I need you to be sure, Nate.”

“What do you want me to say?” I step into his space, caging him against the locker, forcing him to look into my eyes. “I’m not gay. I don’t like men.”

With a smirk, he slides his hand down my chest, fingers splayed over my bare, wet skin. “You don’t like it when I do this?”

I mutter a curse, refusing to acknowledge how much I like it when the pad of his thumb brushes my nipple. “No, I hate it.”

“Liar.” He grabs my hard cock over top of the towel. It falls to the floor as he kisses my neck, reaching down to massage my balls. “Or this?”

As my eyes slam shut, I hiss, “Yes, I fucking like it. Doesn’t make me gay.”

“Maybe not.” River rolls his tongue over my bottom lip. “But at the very least, it makes you bisexual. Stop denying who you are, Nate.”

My eyes open in an instant. “I’m not…”

He holds his finger to my lips. “Shhh. I don’t care. You’re still my best friend. Nothing has to change that.”

“What if it does?” I bite my lip. “What if I suck at this? I have no idea what I’m doing.”

Sex with women is easier than breathing. I go through the motions, not thinking much about it. But sex with River? I have no idea where to begin.

River senses my worry and says, “How about we take this one step at a time?”

“Tell me what to do. I’m out of my element.”

“This is new for me, too,” he confesses. “I’ve never kissed another man. Never touched one until you. If you want my firsts, you can have all of them.”

“Fuck. Yes, I want them. I want whatever you’ll give me. You’re the only person I’ve ever completely trusted.”

“Same,” he agrees. “I can’t quit you, Nate. I’m obsessed with you… and have been for a long time.”

His nose brushes my neck, and I wrap my arms around him, desperate to hold onto this moment. My hands glide over his shoulders, down his biceps, and eventually land on his chest. As I continue my slow perusal of his muscular body, he moans.

He lifts his head, those pretty green eyes latching onto me. “Tell me you won’t regret me.”

“I won’t.”

“I need you to mean it.” River drops his hands to my biceps, all while I attempt to calm the pounding in my chest. “If we’re going to do this, you can’t change your mind afterward. This cannot be a hook-up.”

He has to know I’m incapable of a real relationship. No matter how hard I try, I will fuck this up. It’s not a matter of if but when. For River, I will at least try to make this work.

But what if I don’t like having sex with a man? Until we do it, I won’t know for sure.

“What do you want from me?” I say after a beat passes, tension clinging to the air. “A contract signed in blood? A promise to be with you forever?”

He shakes his head. “No, but I want it to mean something. I want more than sex.”

I rip off his towel and massage his big cock, loving the noises he makes for me. “This is new for me. I have no idea what I’m doing. But I want to fuck you. I want you to scream my name when you come. Isn’t that enough for now?”

“If you change your mind, what happens to our friendship?”

The sex will probably be mind-blowing and worth every second, but I refuse to lose him. Also, we’re not supposed to be having sex. It breaks the rules Dr. Swanson laid out in therapy. And yet, I don’t fucking care.

Didn’t she want me to find intimacy? Well, there’s nothing more intimate than being with River. No one makes me feel as seen or validated as he does.

“I don’t see how I can commit to anything more than sex,” I admit. “I’m not even sure what I want out of this. But I want you.”

River turns his back to me and digs through his locker. He tosses a Henley and a pair of black joggers over his shoulder with a sigh.

I move behind him, placing his hands on his hips. “Don’t ignore me, Riv.” I nibble on his earlobe, and my teeth trail over his hot skin. “You know I’m right. Just think about it. Neither of us knows what the fuck we’re doing. But we want this.”

He sighs loudly. “I don’t think our friendship could survive if you break my heart.”

Two dinging sounds interrupt our conversation, slicing through the silence in the room like a knife. I reach into my locker and grab my cell phone. River does the same, clutching his phone so hard his knuckles drain of color.

It’s a Google alert.

We both stare. Blink.

I hold out my cell phone. “Did you get this?”

He nods, biting his lip, hand trembling as he swipes on the notification.

Dread settles into my belly, chills rolling down my arms. My heart rate speeds to a horrific pace. All the blood rushes to my head, and there’s a whooshing sound in my ears.

River presses his shoulder to mine as we click on the article written by The Beacon Press . The headline reads The Secret Life of Ryan Rousseau’s Son.

“I can’t breathe,” River chokes out, staggering into the locker, holding his chest. He drops his clothes on the floor. “Fuck, this is not happening.”

I drag him to a bench and force him to sit.

“Can you read it to me?” River asks, tears welling in his bottom lids.

I scan the contents of the short article and read it aloud.

A former girlfriend of River Rousseau, the son of NHL legend Ryan Rousseau, spills the tea in a spicy new book. River is slated to sign with an NHL team and follow in his father’s footsteps, but the salacious biography could derail his plans.

The publisher has yet to release all the details. However, they are teasing that River shares women with his best friend and teammate, Nathaniel Brooks, the son of Texas oil billionaire Spencer Brooks.

In this juicy tell-all hotter than a sexy romance novel, the author, who uses the pen name R. Daly to conceal her identity, pens a graphic love story guaranteed to break the ice and steam up your Kindle. Dirty Pucking Secrets is available for pre-order and will hit shelves in May.

“Fuck,” River chokes out, shaking uncontrollably. “I’m so screwed.”

“We can fix this,” I say, though my tone lacks confidence. “We always do.”

He shakes his head. “Not this time, Nate. You missed an NDA. Someone you forgot about.”

For the sake of our friendship, I hope I didn’t forget someone.

River will never forgive me.

He will leave me.

He’ll stop loving me.

Fuck .

I type the book’s name into Google. Hundreds of videos, images, and articles have already been posted on various social media platforms and news outlets.

My eyes drift to a recent TikTok video from The Kingston Spy. As usual, she tagged River and me.

River leans over my shoulder as I click on the video. The Kingston Spy uses video clips from River’s TikTok account and then flips to a green screen with the Dirty Pucking Secrets book cover. She also shows screenshots from various articles talking about the book.

“Look at what our dirty, dirty boys have been up to,” a woman says in an AI-generated voice. “We love them. We want to date them. And sometimes, we even hate them. You can bet your pucking ass I’m reading any book about River Rousseau and Nate Brooks getting it on. Oh, hell yes. And guess what, my loyal followers. I know the woman who wrote this book.”

Of course, she does .

River is in shock, staring at the wall without blinking. I wave my hand in front of his face, and he doesn’t move an inch.

Since he’s unresponsive, I have to do something to save our asses. So, I click on The Kingston Spy’s account and send a message.

@natebrookshockey

How much do you want for the name of the author?

@thekingstonspy

Well, hello there, sexy. I had a feeling you would come begging for my help.

@natebrookshockey

Don’t play games with me. Name your price.

@thekingstonspy

One night with you and River.

My heart thumps in my chest, draining the air from my lungs. River warned me that our private life would catch up to us one day.

“What are you doing?” River asks, snapping out of his catatonic state.

“Talking to The Kingston Spy.” I show him the messages. “Fuck her.”

“It doesn’t matter if she knows who wrote the book,” he mutters, looking at the floor. “We’re fucked. The publisher would have done their due diligence before offering her a deal.”

“Our dads will get involved and make this all go away.”

“Time’s up, Nate. We knew this wouldn’t last forever.” He shakes his head. “And the fucked up part is that we haven’t been with a girl in weeks. We were so close to… you and me. I wanted an us . But?—”

I wrap my arms around River and kiss his cheek. “You still have me. Nothing else matters as long as we’re together.”

“I wish that were true.” River wipes a tear from his cheek and sighs. “Our already fragile relationship can’t weather this storm.”