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CHAPTER 1

NATE

I don’t know where I am. And sadly, this is not the first time. Looking up at the ceiling, I blink the sleep from my eyes. Everything blurs into a sea of whites until I focus on the crown molding. It has a Corinthian pattern that distorts slightly the more I stare.

Where the fuck am I?

Turning my head to the side, I see decorative pillows on the carpet beside a large bed. Like most of the open space, the walls are cream and adorned with expensive but tacky artwork.

It reminds me of home.

Clinical. Cold. No emotion.

Yet, this is not my house.

I hate that fucking place .

My tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth. It feels like a rock band has taken up residence in my head. Groggy from all the beer and drugs, I roll onto my side, and something rubbery is glued to my cheek.

A used condom.

Fuck .

I peel the cum-coated evidence of another wild night from my skin with a groan, tossing it behind me. At least a dozen foil packets litter the floor. Various shades of panties, skirts, dresses, and shirts are strewn across the carpet, along with heels and sandals.

I outdid myself this time.

Through the open bedroom doors, I see several naked women sleeping on the plush couches in the living room. Blondes, brunettes, raven-haired girls, and a redhead. Some are skinny, some average, and a few are thicker with fat asses and big tits.

I don’t have a preference.

I just love women.

And sex.

I sit up, taking in the scene before me, searching for the only person who matters to me.

River.

Three more women sleep on the king-size bed, one of which has her arm draped over River’s bare chest. Naked and hard, he sleeps soundly beside the blonde on his left. I wonder what he’s dreaming about to get that impressive boner.

I’m also hard… and ready for more.

It’s never enough.

I get onto the bed and move the girls away from my best friend. They whimper and try to fight me, but no one gets between River and me.

I lean against the headboard and settle his massive body between my legs. Feeling his chest rise and fall beneath my palm, I let out a relieved breath.

At least he’s alive.

If anything were to happen to him because of me…

No, don’t go there .

I slap his cheek. “Riv, wake up.”

He doesn’t rouse. Not even a flutter of his lashes. Although shallow, he’s breathing.

Like me, he’s muscular and heavy, all two hundred pounds of him crushing my chest. He’s two inches shorter than my six feet four inches.

“C’mon, Riv. Don’t do this to me.”

I slide his dark brown hair off his forehead. He’s tanned from us spending all summer on the beach. Even his biceps are thicker than at the end of our last hockey season. River takes pride in his appearance, something we have in common.

I shake River a few times before whacking his cheek harder. “Wake the fuck up!”

He’s starting to scare me.

Did I give him too much molly?

He seemed okay last night… I think.

Most of the night is still a blur. Whenever I take that shit, I trip so hard it feels like I’m sitting on the sidelines, watching my body perform the motions.

A few of the girls are studying River and me with concern, tits and pussies on display, not bothering to cover up. At least they’re not talking.

Last night, I got carried away celebrating River’s twenty-second birthday. Our final year at Kingston University starts in two weeks, so I surprised him with a buffet of women—all the pussy he could eat.

But as usual, I went too far. I had to throw drugs into the mix, and now this motherfucker won’t get up.

The blonde with double D’s says, “Is he okay?”

“Yeah, he’ll be fine.” I point at the table. “Go fill the ice bucket with water from the bathroom sink and bring it back here.”

She slides off the bed and rushes into the bathroom, shaking her sweet ass as she goes. And what a nice ass to admire. My mind instantly drifts to a snapshot of last night. A mini movie of her straddling River as I fucked her from behind.

Fuck, that was hot .

A sexy redhead crawls over to me on all fours, her nipples hard and begging for my mouth. “What can I do to help?”

You can suck my cock , I want to say, but instead I go with, “Get some towels.”

I can’t stop thinking about sex. With all these women naked and willing, my mind keeps going back to that dark place—the one where I get tunnel vision and can only think about chasing my next high.

The redhead swaps places with the blonde. For the life of me, I can’t recall their names, which is pretty pathetic, considering I fucked both of them last night.

The blonde hands me the bucket. I stick my finger inside to test the temperature. It’s nice and cold.

I dump the bucket on River’s head, soaking myself in the process, and he shoots up from my chest, gasping for air.

“What the fuck?” River shakes out his hair like a dog coming in from a storm.

I flash a cocky grin, drying my face with a bath towel the redhead hands me. “Morning, sunshine.”

He glares at me. “What was that for?”

“You wouldn’t wake up.”

His cheeks flush crimson. “Because I was fucking sleeping, dickhead!”

I start drying his hair and chest, but River yanks the towel from my hand and does it himself.

“I thought you overdosed.”

He kneels on the bed, glaring at me, and then he must realize we’re not alone because he glances around the room, lips parted.

“Fuck,” he mumbles. “What did we do last night?”

“Oh, you know, the usual.” I wave at all the girls surrounding us. “Do the math.”

“Did we…” He shakes his head and lowers his voice. “Did we fuck all of them?”

I wink. “It’s called stamina, Riv. Something neither of us lacks.”

A look of pure disgust mixed with the familiar sting of shame crosses over his face.

I feel it, too.

Every single day.

Most mornings, I wake up and wonder how I made it through the night. I’m on a downward spiral, taking my best friend with me. River won’t let me drown. He dives headfirst after me, swimming in water too deep for us to navigate.

Hence, why he agreed to another one of my sex parties. As fucked up as it might be, we never have sex without the other. It’s been this way since we turned fourteen and wanted to bone the same girl.

I survey the space, counting the women on the floor and couches, and see nine naked bodies. If I weren’t so annoyed with myself, I would be proud. How many of our teammates could go all night with this many puck bunnies?

“You both fucked me,” the blonde says, jiggling her big tits.

“And me,” the redhead says with a sexy smile. “At the same time.”

“Me too.” A girl with long, black hair lifts her head off the pillow. She bats her lashes at River. “You fucked my ass.”

“Ditto.” A brunette scrubs a hand at her eyes. “You filled all of my holes.”

“Jesus,” River hisses, eyes downcast and covering his face with his hands.

“You guys are fun,” the blonde says, pushing out her tits as an offering. “We should do this again.”

I tackle her to the mattress, already hard and ready to sink into her. “Yeah? You want this dick again.”

She wets her lips. “Fuck me with that big dick, Nate.”

My dick should have its own zip code. Its own post office. People would travel across the country just to see it. Some of these women did. They got on their knees the second I took off my pants, licking their lips like little cock sluts.

It only took a quick DM to the hottest girls who messaged River and me to get them on flights to New York. I hand-selected the finest girls this country has to offer so I could spoil my best friend rotten.

What’s better than birthday pussy?

A lot of birthday pussy.

I bend down and suck the blonde’s nipple into my mouth, tugging on it with my teeth. She whimpers and writhes beneath me, making my cock even harder.

River grabs my shoulder. “Nate, stop.”

I pause on top of her at the sound of his deep voice. My best friend is the only person who grounds me. If he says no, I usually listen. But what’s one more round with a girl we already fucked?

I tip my head at the nightstand. “Grab me a condom.”

River picks up the box and throws it at my forehead. “It’s empty, you fucking degenerate.”

“I don’t recall you complaining last night.”

Nostrils flared, he shakes his head. “Wait until we get in the car, Nate.”

Ooh, he’s giving me the mean daddy voice .

Maybe if I get him riled up, he’ll spank me. And why does that make my cock excited?

Weird .

I don’t like men.

But River?

Fuck, I don’t know.

My cock likes him.

River leans closer to me and whispers, “We need to leave. That girl down the hall saw me last night. The paparazzi could be waiting for us downstairs.”

River is famous. The paparazzi follow him around campus and to away games, never leaving him alone. He can’t wipe his ass without someone snapping a picture.

The son of hockey legend Ryan Rousseau, River grew up with a camera in his face. His family even had a reality TV show called The Hockey Life .

Every moment of his existence has been photographed and televised. Until we met at boarding school, he’d never had any privacy.

Of course, the girls signed non-disclosure agreements. I’m going to be a lawyer someday, and I’m not a fucking idiot.

“We need to go.” River slides off the mattress and grabs his boxer briefs from the floor. “It’s after eleven. We’re having lunch with our dads in Devil’s Creek.”

“Ooh, can I come?”

“Yeah, me too.”

“I wanna meet Ryan Rousseau.”

“I know, isn’t he so hot?”

A few of the girls mutter similar things.

“Uh, no,” River tells them, trying to hide his anger. “My dad is off-limits.”

He hates that women use him to get to his NHL player father. It’s not like any of them have a shot with Ryan. He married a supermodel who hasn’t aged much over the years. River’s mom is a certifiable MILF. I’ve even jerked off to pictures of her, which is extra fucked up and something I will never tell him.

The blonde beneath me sighs. “Wait, what? I thought you guys were spending the weekend with us.”

“Just the night.” I slide my thumb across her bottom lip, and she moans. “I made that clear in my messages.”

She frowns.

My gaze wanders around the room to make sure I have their attention. “I paid for all of you to stay at the hotel for the weekend. You have your own suites. Order whatever you want. Go shopping for all I care. It’s on me.”

That gets a squeal from several girls, a round of thank yous, and smiles of pure joy.

We keep this shit transactional for a reason. The girls have to show negative panels. I can’t be worrying about catching diseases. And I hate attachments to anyone but River.

He’s all I need. The only relationship I want in my life. I don’t need any women clinging to me, trying to force me into marrying them. Or, god forbid, they get pregnant.

Kids are like herpes.

You have them for life.

I peel myself from the hot blonde and search the floor for my clothes. “I don’t feel like seeing my dad today. Fuck him.”

“I don’t have a choice.” River pulls a black Henley over his head, tugging it down his ripped chest. “He wants to talk to me about something. In person. Says it’s important.”

“Yeah, well, whatever it is involves my dad… which means we’re equally fucked.”

In terms of wealth, River can’t top me. I come from Texas oil money and grew up knowing money can buy anything—including people’s silence and discretion.

As the girls dress, a cell phone dings.

River reaches into his pocket and stares at the screen, mouth hanging open. “Fuck, we’re so dead.”

He drags me into the bathroom and locks the door. Leaning against it, he shoves the phone at my chest.

“About those NDAs? You missed one.”

I glance at the screen and see an image of a blonde girl wearing a black lacy mask, her top half naked, with River and me bare-chested and sandwiching her between us.

“Riv, I’m?—”

“You’re sorry?” River snickers. “Yeah, you’re always sorry, Nate. That’s the fucking problem. Do you even remember her?”

Is this a trick question?

Can I phone a friend?

Get a lifeline?

He holds the screen to my face so I can get a better look. But with the mask, I can’t make out much more than her pretty, pink lips and big tits. Small nipples. Petite.

I swallow. “No, who is she?”

“The girl from the Delta Sig party,” he spits back, venom in his tone. “The Sinners and Saints masquerade. Ring any bells?”

I remember attending the party, but most of that night was fuzzy. Too much alcohol and pills to dull the nagging thoughts always running through my head on repeat.

“She hasn’t gone public yet. My dad’s lawyer just sent this.” He stuffs the phone into his pocket. “For the sake of our friendship, you better hope our parents can make this go away.”