Page 76 of Only With Me

“Here’s a concept: get a job and pay for it yourself.” Wilder pokes her arm when she sits next to him.

“Puttin’ up with youismy job.”

They continue bickering, but I’m just happy I’m no longer the topic of conversation.

The rest of the family filter into the dining area and soon we’re all bowing our heads and saying grace. Mom makes an extra point to peek up at me when she mentions my name.

It’s like I’m ten being scolded all over again, but this time without words. Instead, I get disappointed glares.

Meanwhile, the twin who’s caused trouble since he came out of the womb gets a friendly pat on the back and a smile.

I hate it here.

But I don’t regret it because Jake deserved it.

I’m grateful Sheriff Wagner didn’t make me sit in a cell all night, so I’ll take the small win.

After dessert, I bow out and skip scrapbooking so I can busy myself at the barn. It’s New Year’s Eve, so we didn’t have any tours today and none tomorrow. Normally, I’d enjoy the break, but instead, it gives me more time to sulk.

I’ve spent the past two days signing up for every dating app I could find.

Pathetic, I know.

But I need to find Harlow. I can’t stop thinking about what those men must be saying to her.

Nothing like the conversations we used to have.

I miss her telling me secrets about her romance wish list.

About her day and how she slept.

How my face would light up every time I checked my phone and a message was waiting for me.

God, I sound like a simp.

Maybe it just didn’t mean as much to her, so it’s easier for her to move on to talking to someone else.

Maybe that’s what I’m telling myself so I don’t feel like such a horrible person for what I did.

Would it have been so bad to sit across from her at that table and tell her I was the guy she was speaking to? Would she have freaked out the way I did?

It would’ve had to end either way.

She’s so young and has gone through so much in her short life that it would’ve been wrong to tangle her into my shit when she’s getting hers back on track.

But then why can’t I get it out of my damn head?

So since I’m already at war with myself, why not add to it and see if she’ll notice my profile and DM me on whichever app she’s on. I could message her first…assuming I can figure out what to say and if I can find her.

Wilder’s going out tonight, but I asked Delilah to keep an eye on him since she’s going out too. I’m not going to bed until his drunk ass is home.

The Twisted Bull is having a whole New Year’s bash and is staying open until four in the morning, so thank God we onlyhave barn chores tomorrow. Wilder won’t even be up until noon.

Once I bring in the final horse from the pasture and get them in their stall for the night, I close the barn door and turn off the lights. Then I head home.

When I pull into my driveway, Delilah’s here, picking up Wilder.

“Hey.” I smile weakly when they walk down the duplex stairs toward me.