Page 134 of Mountain Daddy (Mountain Men #2)

Luther

Baby Doll: Good morning. Again.

I drop onto my couch as a bit of tension leaves my body.

I wasn’t sure she would actually message me. Thought maybe she’d take the time apart to realize she doesn’t want to talk to me.

I don’t want to talk to you. I can’t. Not yet.

Guilt worse than anything I’ve ever felt over lying to Joe clogs my throat.

I don’t want to break his trust too. But he was always just an excuse.

An excuse I used to make the decision for Kendra rather than making her choose between me and a future I thought she wanted.

Because if it was left to her, and she chose to leave…

She would’ve hurt me as much as I hurt her.

My fingers tremble as I type out I’m sorry .

I stare at the two inadequate words. Then I delete them.

She deserves my apologies in person.

Me: Did you sleep more?

Baby Doll: Yeah. I just woke back up.

More tension drains from my shoulders, but it’s just replaced with more guilt.

I think Kendra has been just as miserable as I’ve been. Which means she probably hasn’t been sleeping well either.

Me: I’m glad you got more rest.

Baby Doll: Same. But it took a bit to fall back asleep since I’d been laughing so much.

I smile at the screen. Glad I could give her a moment of levity, even if it came at the cost of me running for my life.

Me: You think it’s funny that your little friend chased me off the property?

That damn fox was nipping at my heels the whole way to my fucking truck.

Baby Doll: Hilarious.

Baby Doll: You should probably bring him another gift, though. He might not let you back on the property otherwise.

A little piece of hope wedges itself inside me, next to the guilt.

She’s not telling me not to come back.

She called me Daddy this morning.

I swallow.

Me: I gave him all the beef jerky that was in my truck.

I shake my head remembering it. That damn fox nearly took my fingers off when he snapped the meat out of my hand, but I don’t tell her that part.

Baby Doll: I’m sure he appreciated it.

Me: It was a start. But I still have a lot to atone for.

Me: I’ll make it right.

I watch the phone screen.

Wait.

Wonder what she’s thinking.

I didn’t mean to change the tone of our messages. But if there’s a chance I can undo the wrongs I’ve done, I need her to understand that I want to. That I want to fix this.

If she’ll let me.

I still know it’s wrong.

Still feel like I’m stealing her away from something else.

Still feel guilt over being in love with my friend’s daughter.

But the loss of her…

The loss of her bright presence in my life…

And then finding out I could’ve lost her for good, before I even knew her…

That broke something inside me.

And the fear swallows me whole all over again.

My chest aches and my eyes burn.

My throat closes.

The image of Kendra in a hospital gown flashes in front of me.

I close my eyes.

I will it away.

Kendra is okay.

She’s healthy.

She’s fine.

She’ll keep being fine.

I open my eyes.

Baby Doll: Tonight.

Baby Doll: You can start making it right tonight.