Page 71 of Make Me Trust Again (Bluebonnet Creek #3)

CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

CHASE

John O’Neil is dead.

I glance toward Rose, who’s sitting in the passenger seat, her eyes fixed out the window, but I can see that she’s lost in her mind, probably still coming to terms with the bomb Nico Rivera dropped on us while we were at her parents’.

John is gone.

Died in a car accident after he fled the fair; the mix of alcohol in his blood and the speed was likely the cause of the accident. The only saving grace was that there wasn’t anybody else who got hurt in the process.

Opening the door, I slide out of the truck and hold the door open for Kyle to jump out, followed by the dogs.

Kyle’s eyes are serious as they meet mine. “Mom’s sad again. Is it because of Dad?”

“She’s…” I run my hand over my face, unsure of how to phrase it for him to understand. I don’t know what she’s feeling because she didn’t tell me.

After Nico told us the news, it was like Rose dissociated.

There was a moment of surprise, but quickly she pushed any feelings deep within her and focused on Kyle.

She wanted to tell him immediately, not just because he saw that Nico came and something was clearly going on, but she didn’t want him to hear the news about his father’s accident from other people.

“She’s trying to process what happened. How she’s feeling.”

Kyle nods, but I’m not sure he understood me completely. “He’s really not coming back?”

“No, he’s not coming back. I’m sorry, buddy.”

Kyle’s little shoulders lift in a shrug. “He wasn’t around much anyway.”

Hearing Kyle say this so nonchalantly is like a punch to my gut.

A seven-year-old kid shouldn’t be unwanted.

Shouldn’t know what it’s like for his parent not to pay him any attention, not to love him.

That’s the part I’ll never understand. How can somebody not love this kid?

He’s so smart and talented, so kind and funny.

“I’m sorry about that, too.”

Kyle glances down, his voice coming out muffled. “It’s okay, I have Mom.” He gives a little peek in my direction. “I have you?”

I don’t miss the trace of uncertainty in his tone as he voices out the words, making them seem more like a question.

“You sure do.” I cup his cheek, lifting his head, so he can read my lips easily. “I’m not going anywhere, Ky.”

A small smile appears on Kyle’s lips before he wraps his arms around my middle. “I love you, Chase.”

I suck in a long breath, my hand running down his back. The weight of his words settles on my heart; it still feels heavy, and if I’m being honest, a little bit scary, but I embrace it regardless.

Leaning down, I press my mouth against the top of his head, and although I know he can’t hear it, I say it anyway, “I love you, too, Ky.” Squeezing him back, I let him take the time he needs and only let go once he does. “Why don’t you take Shadow and Teddy and go home? We’ll come in a little bit.”

Nodding, Kyle calls to the dogs, and the three of them run away. I watch them until they disappear down the gravel road before turning around.

My house is dark, and it will most likely stay that way.

Walking around the car, I find Rose still watching blindly through the windshield.

Carefully, I pull the door open. She blinks, her gaze coming into focus.

Rose looks around, confused. “Are we home already—” Her words trail off as she looks over her shoulder and finds the back seat empty. “Kyle? Where?—”

I place my hand on her forearm, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “Went to the house with Shadow and Teddy.”

Rose lets out a long breath and nods. “I guess it’ll take some time before I stop panicking.”

“That’s normal.” I lift my hand and cradle her face, my thumb skimming over her cheek. “How are you feeling?”

“I…” Her lips part, her eyes growing distant again. “I can’t believe he’s gone. Like really gone.” She shakes her head, almost like in a daze. “It just feels surreal.” She blinks, her gaze meeting mine. “And I feel relief. What kind of person does that make me, Chase?”

“Human. It makes you human. There is nothing wrong with feeling relief at the knowledge that the person who’s been hurting you won’t be able to do it again.”

“I don’t care about me.” Rose tilts her head into my touch. “I’m just glad that he won’t be able to take Kyle or hurt him ever again.” Her gaze goes to my brace. “That he won’t be able to hurt you again. I can still hear that gunshot. Still see you fall…”

Her throat bobs as she swallows, tears gleaming in her eyes.

“Sweetheart, I’m fine. He’s not hurting anybody ever again.”

Rose gets out of the car, her arms gently wrapping around my middle as she pulls me to her. “I can’t lose you, Chase.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” I reassure her, pressing my lips against her temple.

Rose pulls back, those big blue eyes meeting mine as she cups my cheek. “Promise?”

Sliding my hand to the small of her back, I pull her to me. “I promise.”

Leaning down, I capture her mouth in a gentle kiss. Rose melts under my touch, her fingers curling around my shirt and holding me close as her lips slide over mine in tender strokes before pulling back. “Let’s go home to our boy?”

Our boy.

He may not have my blood, but to me, he’s mine in all the ways that matter.

“Let’s go home.”

Pulling back so I can close the door, my gaze darts to the dark house once again. The place where I grew up holds the memories of my childhood, the good ones and the bad ones.

Turning around, Rose slips against my right side as we make our way to the cottage. Kyle is sitting on the front porch, playing with the dogs, who surround us the moment we come into view.

Kyle shoots us a sheepish grin. “They wanted to stay outside and play.”

“You know school is tomorrow, right?” Rose asks, but there is no real reprimand in her tone.

“Just a little bit longer, please?”

Rose sighs. “Fine. But just a few more minutes.”

Together we climb onto the porch and sit on the swing. Rose rests her head against my chest and lets out a long sigh as we watch Kyle play.

“This is all I’ve ever wanted.”

“Really?”

“Mm-hmm… Just peaceful nights at home sitting next to the person I love. My child, happy and healthy. Laughter filling our home.” She tilts her head back. “You gave us that, Chase.”

I shake my head slowly. “You gave me that, Rose—you and Kyle. I would still be all alone in that huge house haunted by the memories of my past, if it weren’t for you two.

Letting the guilt eat at me. But I don’t want that anymore.

I want you and Kyle. I want more nights like this. I want you guys to move in with me.”

The words slip out before I can think them through.

Rose’s eyes widen in surprise, lips forming a little “o” as she just stares at me.

The silence stretches between us, making the ringing in my ears seem louder.

My heart is beating wildly inside my chest, my palms sweaty while I wait for her to say something. Anything.

Fuck.

Was it too soon?

Too much?

“It doesn’t have to be right now,” I rush out when she doesn’t say anything. “A lot has happened over the last few months, and I know you and Kyle need to adjust, but once you’re ready…”

Rose’s finger slips under the chain around my neck, her mouth swallowing my words before I can finish the sentence.

“Yes,” she breathes as she pulls back, her irises shining in the moonlight.

“Yes?”

“Yes.” She nods, a smile curling her lips. “If this thing with John taught me anything, it’s that we don’t have time to waste, and I don’t want to spend one second without you, Chase.”

“Fuck, Rose.” I reach for her, or I try, because my left hand is stuck in the brace, completely useless, so I pull her to me with my right one, kissing her long and hard, until my vision turns blurry. “Anything you want, sweetheart. I’ll give you anything you want. You’re not going to regret this.”

“You.” Her fingers intertwine with mine. “I just want you.”