Page 29 of Make Me Trust Again (Bluebonnet Creek #3)

Her tongue darts out, sliding over her pink lips. I follow its path, enticed by the movement, so it takes me a moment to register her words. “He’s not here.”

Not here?

My eyes narrow. “Where is he?”

She sucks in a long breath, and I can see her brace herself for whatever she’s going to say, but even so, I’m not prepared for the words that come out of her mouth next.

“With J-John,” her voice breaks, more tears filling her eyelids.

“What? Why?”

I don’t think I’ve ever seen John with his son. Even last week, when he was here, he was with Rose, not Kyle. And the boy barely ever mentions his father.

“Divorce settlement. He wanted fifty-fifty custody, but in the end, we agreed on every other weekend.” She presses her lips into a tight line and forces out a smile, trying to keep her composure. “It’s fine. It’s just a weekend.”

Rose nods, more for her benefit than mine, as if she repeats it enough times, it will make it true. She blinks, trying so hard to fight the tears, but one slides down regardless. “It’s going to be fine. He’s going to be f-fine, right?”

Her pain and worry are so raw, I can feel my chest ache for her.

I press my lips in a tight line, unsure of what to say. I’m not a gentle man. I don’t know what to do to reassure her. These hands are good for a lot of things, but offering comfort isn’t one of them. And yet, when her lip wobbles again, and those tear-stained eyes meet mine, I simply react.

“Rose, sweetheart…”

Letting go of her jaw, my fingers slide to her cheek, brushing away the runaway tear.

I’m not sure who makes the first move, her or me.

One moment, she’s sitting on the swing, looking at me with those big blue eyes, and the next, her body is pressed against mine.

Her arms wrap around my waist, fingers digging into my shirt as she buries her face into my chest, and cries softly.

I know because I can feel it. Feel the way her body shakes against mine, her tears drenching my already sweaty shirt.

Not that she seems to care one bit. I clasp my arms around her, my palm soothing up and down her back in gentle strokes.

“ Shh… ” I whisper softly. “It’s okay. He’s going to be okay.”

I lean my chin on top of her head, inhaling her sweet, flowery scent. It reminds me of my childhood. My mom’s garden blooming in the spring. All the different flowers, colors, and scents mix together under the bright sun. Vibrant. Enticing. Unyielding.

I’m not sure how long we stay standing like this. Each loud sob that comes out of her lungs feels like a stab to my gut. What I would do to be able to take her pain away.

Sliding my palm up her back, I place it on her nape. My thumb skims over her neck, feeling the soft skin as I tighten my hold on her.

Rose pulls back slightly, her red-rimmed eyes meeting mine as more tears fall down her pink cheeks.

“It h-hurts so m-much.”

I curse under my breath, the pain in her voice breaking something in me. Lowering my head, I press my forehead against hers.

“I know, sweetheart.” Cupping her face, I brush away the tears sliding down her cheeks, but more just keep falling.

“I need it to stop.”

I understand what she means better than she could ever realize. This need to let go of everything and just be, just breathe .

Those blue irises are filled with pain as they stare into mine.

The tension crackles to life as my calloused fingers skim over her skin.

It’s impossibly soft. Her face is slightly puffy and flushed from crying, but it doesn’t make her look any less beautiful than usual.

My palm skids down the side of her neck, my touch leaving goosebumps in its wake as I cup the back of her head, my fingers tangling in all that lush hair.

“Make it stop.” Her tongue darts out, sliding over her lower lip as her words hang in the air. A strand of hair is glued to her cheek, so I gently brush it away.

Her softly whispered words unravel something inside of me. The need to take her pain away, fighting with the part of me that’s yelling at me to get the fuck out of there before I do something stupid.

Her fingers tug my shirt as those wild blue eyes swallow me whole. “ Please, Chase. ”

Those words are my undoing.

She’s my undoing.

A low growl comes from deep in my lungs as any control I had slips out of my grasp.

Spreading my fingers wider, I tilt her head slightly and capture her mouth with mine. For a heartbeat, time seems to slow down as those wide blue eyes stare into mine. I think she might push me back, but she doesn’t.

Rising on the tips of her toes, Rose uncurls her fingers and wraps them around the metal chain hanging from my neck, tugging me lower as her mouth meets mine, all those soft, lush curves pressing against my body.

Tightening my grip on her neck, I tilt her head to the side. My thumb slides over her pulse point, feeling the rapid beat of her heart under my fingertip as my tongue traces the outline of her lips.

The sound of buzzing echoes in my eardrums, but I can feel the soft rumble coming from her throat as her lips part, and my tongue slides into her warm mouth. Twisting and tangling with hers.

Rose tastes like the sweetest temptation, everything that’s good and pure in this world, and I’m unable to resist her call. Not when all I want is some of that light for myself.

In one swift movement, I turn us around, pressing Rose against the railing as my tongue digs deeper, claiming more of that sweet mouth.

Her arms wrap around me as she nips at my lip, her hand sliding lower and slipping under the hem of my shirt.

The gentle touch of her fingers on my naked skin—on my scars—feels like a bucket of icy water has been tossed over my head.

What the fuck am I doing?

“Chase…” Rose pants as I break the kiss, my own breathing heavy. Her eyelids flutter open, passion still burning brightly in her irises.

She tries to reach for me, but I grip her cheeks and hold her in place, pressing my forehead against hers as I suck in a long gulpful of air, fighting for any semblance of composure.

“This is a mistake.”

Any trace of passion is erased in the blink of an eye, hurt shining in those sky-blue depths. “Wh-what?”

She starts to pull back, and I curse myself for putting it that way, my grip on her tightening.

“You’re hurting. I shouldn’t have taken advantage of that.”

Rose’s brows drew together. “If I didn’t want you to kiss me, I would’ve pulled back and told you to stop.” Her tongue darts out, sliding over her lower lip.

My stomach knots tightly, the need to say fuck it all and continue where we left off strong, but I grit my teeth, holding onto any semblance of control I have left.

“You’re hurting. Hell, you’re still married. We shouldn’t be doing this.”

“I’m married on paper only,” she grinds out, some of that fire coming back to the surface.

I don’t care. I can take her fire any day of the week.

I can take anything she tossed at me, but I can’t stand to see her hurting.

“I’ve been married on paper only for a very long time.

Not that my husband cared about that when he slept with another woman in our bed. ”

What. The. Actual. Fuck?

The asshole of her husband not only treated her like shit, but he had the audacity to sleep with somebody else? Not just that, but to bring that stranger into their bed? It’s one thing to cheat. This is different. Deliberate. He’s done it on purpose because he wanted to hurt her.

I see the moment she realizes her slip-up, her eyes widening in horror.

“Rose…”

“Don’t.” She pulls her hand out of my reach, a look of pain crossing her face. “Forget I said anything. You’re right. This was a mistake. You should go. I’ll be fine on my own.”

She goes to the swing and sits down, pulling her legs up and wrapping her arms around herself as she rests her forehead against her knees. Hiding from me, just like she was when I first spotted her.

Fucking hell.

Before I know what I’m doing, I’m pushing from the railing and going to that swing, taking the very far end.

I won’t— can’t —leave her alone just like I can’t prevent myself from taking my next breath.

I’m not sure how long we just sit there, side by side.

Rose turns her head a few times as if she’s trying to wipe her face before she tilts her head so she’s facing me. For a while, we just stare at one another until she breaks the silence.

“What is wrong with me?” she asks softly, her hand falling by her side. “Am I that broken?”

“You’re not broken,” I grit out, each word spoken softly, deliberately.

She lets out an unamused chuckle, clearly not believing me. “My husband cheated on me. You kissed me, God knows why, since you clearly don’t want me, and it’s all just for pity…”

“Pity?” I scoff. “I don’t pity you. I think you’re one of the strongest women I know. And that asshole doesn’t deserve you.”

“But you don’t want me.” She shakes her head, pushing to her feet. “It’s fine, who’d want?—”

I grab her hand and pull her to me. She falls into my lap, her lips parting when she feels my arousal underneath her.

“Does that feel like I don’t want you? I shouldn’t want you. I shouldn’t even dare to touch you. And yet, you’ve been the only thing I can think about since that first day I stumbled upon you. But dammit, Rose, I’m not going to kiss somebody’s wife.”

She opens her mouth to protest, but I press my finger against her lips.

“I don’t care if it’s only on paper.” I slide my finger under her chin, tracing the outline of her mouth. “The next time I kiss you, you won’t be married to another man.”

Her throat bobs as she swallows, my words ringing in the air around us.

I tilt her chin higher. “Am I clear?”

Rose nods silently.

“Good.”

A shudder runs through her, and I’m not sure if it’s my words or if she’s cold.

“You should go inside.”

Before I do something stupid like kiss her again.

She shakes her head. “I can’t. It’s too quiet, which is silly in itself.”

“It’s not silly at all.”

Over her shoulder, I spot the blanket she left on the little table, so I grab it.

“What are you?—”

I slide the blanket over her and pull it tightly around her. “If you’re planning on staying outside, you should at least have a blanket on.”

Shadow is standing in front of the door as if she’s waiting for Kyle to come out. “He’s not there.”

She tilts her head to the side, her snout touching the door before it falls to the ground. Whatever she senses makes her tail fall, and she turns around, but instead of going to me, she goes to Rose, her body brushing against her leg.

“I know, girly.” Rose’s voice is gentle as she rubs her between her ears. “I miss him, too.”

“He’ll be back before you know it.”

I’m not sure which one of the two I’m trying to reassure.

Rose glances up, our eyes meeting for a heartbeat before she lowers her gaze. Once again, hiding from me.

What the hell did you expect? You all but mauled her when she was feeling vulnerable.

The swing creaks as she climbs off my lap and curls into one corner, and Shadow places her head onto Rose’s lap—the little traitor.

Not that I can even blame her.

Rose clears her throat. “What keeps you up so late?”

The nightmare that woke me up flashes in my mind, making an icy chill go down my spine, but I shove the memories back. “Couldn’t sleep.”

Rose lifts her gaze and eyes me carefully as the silence stretches between us for a long moment. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Hell to the no.

She must see the answer on my face because she lets out a soft huff. “If you ever want to talk about it, I’m a good listener.”

The idea of sharing what happened with anybody, with Rose , makes bile rise up my throat. There is no way I’d ever want somebody like her to be touched by the darkness and death that’s my constant companion.

Her gaze darts to the cottage, and she lets out a soft sigh. “I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep either. Not until Kyle is home, and I know he’s safe.”

Home.

As in here.

In this cottage.

Something about those words makes my throat feel tight, the weight of them settling on my shoulders.

This place is their home. Not you. You shouldn’t even look at her.

And yet, I can’t help myself. Not when she’s trying so hard to put on a strong face, but I can see through the cracks. See the fear and loneliness and sorrow—the darkness—hiding inside her.

I should walk away.

Running my fingers over my face, I let my hand fall, ready to push upright.

But I can’t.

The realization slams into me. I tilt my head back and look up at the stars scattered over the dark sky.

I can’t leave her. Not tonight.

“What are you doing?”

Shifting my head to the side, I look at her. “It’s not like either of us will sleep tonight anyway…” I shrug, letting the sentence hang in the air between us.

Rose sighs. “I guess you’re right.”

For a while, we just sit in silence until Shadow pulls back, making Rose’s hand fall, while she settles on the ground by my side.

Our hands brush, a zap of electricity coursing between us at the touch, but neither of us makes an effort to pull away.

Our only form of contact.

Our silent way of communication.

And, just for a moment, I feel at peace again.