Page 44 of Make Me Trust Again (Bluebonnet Creek #3)

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

CHASE

The excruciating pain is slicing through my body, but I force myself to push up. My muscles burn, sweat dripping down my face. I grind my teeth as I look up. My breathing is ragged, shallow breaths making my lungs burn as I take in the scattered bodies around me.

The truck is a few feet away, lying upside down, but where one side of the vehicle is supposed to be, there is only a hole left.

Icy dread spreads through my veins as all the little pieces start falling into place.

Driving.

The mission.

The explosion.

My eardrums are still ringing from the blast. The pressure in my ears is excruciating, making the throbbing behind my temples worse.

Pushing through the pain, I force my eyes to open again.

I need to get to the others.

I move my hand, one then the other, and then my legs. My muscles are shaking with exertion as I push myself up, only for my leg to give out under my weight. I groan as I try again, the searing pain burning inside me until I’m finally standing on my wobbly feet.

It takes everything in me to move.

Inch by inch.

Get to them. Get to them. Get to them.

I chant those words like a mantra, pushing myself through the pain, until my legs give out on me. Cursing under my breath, I slam my fist against the ground.

They have to be alright. They have to be. They need to get back home to their families.

Running my hand over my face, I swipe away the blood and sweat, and then I start crawling. From one to the other, but they’re gone.

A soft groan reaches me through the ringing in my ears. I look up, my eyes landing on Lucas’s sprawled body. My arms shake, but it doesn’t stop me from hurrying to him.

Alive.

He’s alive.

The thought makes me push as fast as I can until I reach him. My heart is beating furiously against my ribcage as if it wants to jump out of my chest, that damn buzzing piercing through my skull.

My vision swims as I turn him around. I blink the haziness away, meeting his chocolate brown eyes. Lucas’s lips part, his brows twisting in a scowl.

“You’re alive.” I shake my head, my throat feeling tight as I take him in. “They’re gone. All of them. Gon ? —”

That’s when I see it—the blood seeping from the wound in his stomach.

“No.”

I press my palms against the wound as hard as I can, his lips parting on a soundless groan. “Ch-Chase…”

“Hold on. Just hold on, dammit. I’ll get you out of here.”

I shake my head, refusing to give up.

He is alive.

“We’re getting out of here. I promise.”

I force my body into submission as I push upright, my arms wrapping around him. I’m not sure how I manage to get to my feet, how I manage to lift him. But I do.

“Just hold on,” I pant, as I tighten my grip on him.

I’ll get him out of here.

I have to.

“You can’t give up, man. Your sister is waiting for you.”

I’m not sure how long we go on like that. I refuse to look back. Something wet trickles down my face, blurring my vision and making me fall to my knees. Lucas’s weight falls on top of me and to the side.

I curse as I glance at him, determined to get back up, to get him help. Somebody should have figured out we’re MIA by now, right?

But when I turn around, the lifeless eyes staring back at me are not brown.

They’re blue.

The cool water trickles down my body. I press my palms against the tiles, bending my head under the icy spray, but it does little to wash away the images that are stuck in my head, rolling on repeat.

My fingers flex and relax as I struggle to push back the memories and focus on the here and now. On the feel of the water falling over my skin, leaving goosebumps in its wake. The hardness of the tiles under my fingertips. But those empty eyes keep haunting me—blue like the summer sky.

Pressing my lips together, I turn off the faucet and grab my towel, methodically drying off before I grab my clothes and put them on. All the while, the walls around me seem to be closing in.

Out.

I need to get out.

Turning on the balls of my feet, I tug at the collar of my shirt, trying to suck in some air.

Shadow brushes against me the moment I step out of the bathroom, her steady presence easing something inside me as we make our way out of the house.

I sink my fingers into her fur, rubbing at her neck.

My head is still throbbing as my legs start to move on their own, following the familiar path. The ringing in my ears dulls all the other noises around me, until something else pierces through that shrill noise.

I come to a standstill, my fingers curling into a fist by my side. I close my eyes, willing my breathing to still as I try to focus until I hear it again.

Laughter.

My eyes snap open, my gaze following the sound as I inhale deeply, some of that tension leaving my body as I stare at them.

Because, of course, I’m here. Even when I know I should stay away, my body finds its way here.

To her.

To them.

She’s okay.

That one thought resonates in my mind as I just stare at the two of them.

They’re sitting on the terrace together, the last of the sun’s rays peeking through the trees. Kyle giggles again, and I can see Rose’s hands move as she signs to him.

Shadow’s ears perk at the sound, but she doesn’t make an attempt to move. Her head tilts to the side, her tongue brushing against my arm. My fingers curl in her fur before letting go.

“Let’s go,” I whisper as I start to walk, Shadow following after me.

My heart is thundering inside my chest; every step I take makes my palms turn sweatier.

Rose shakes her head, her short hair dancing over her shoulders, making my fingers itch to sink into those silky waves. “You’re incor— Chase.”

A tentative smile spreads over her lips as her eyes meet mine.

She sinks her teeth into her lower lip, a pink flush spreading over her cheeks.

I know for a fact that that color goes low, all the way to those perfect breasts.

I can remember the feel of the sounds she made when I kissed her—touched her.

So fucking selfish.

And yet, I’m still here. The last place I should be at.

I should stay away from her before I hurt her. And yet, I can’t bring myself to do it. Selfish. I’m so fucking selfish. One day, she’ll hate me for it, but today, I’ll bask in her presence. In her light. Because being around her is the only place where I find some semblance of peace.

Kyle turns around in his chair, his blue eyes wide when he sees me. A bright smile spreads over his mouth. “Chase!”

He jumps from the chair and runs to me, his arms wrapping around my middle in a strong hug. I rest my hand on his shoulder just as he pulls back.

“I was looking for you yesterday, but you weren’t home! Where did you go?”

“I was in Austin.”

If possible, his eyes grow even wider. “Did you also go to the zoo?”

“Zoo?” My brows pull together at the sudden change of subject. “No, I wasn’t at the zoo.”

Kyle purses his lips. “Bummer. My grandparents took me to the zoo. It was my birthday present.” He grabs my hand and pulls me to the porch; Rose’s gaze is on us as Kyle continues chatting away.

“It was so fun. They have all kinds of animals: birds, monkeys, snakes, even lions.” Kyle sits down in the armchair and looks at me, his eyes wide with excitement.

“They were huge . Even bigger than Shadow, and she’s so big. ”

Shadow, who’s been following after us, eyes me carefully before she goes to Kyle and licks him in a hello.

“Did you ever see a lion?”

“Have you ever seen a lion?” Rose corrects. “And you shouldn’t be dragging people around, Kyle. Did you ask Chase if he wants to come?”

“He’s here.” Kyle points out, his brows connecting.

“You have to ask people. Just because he was passing by doesn’t mean he can hang out with you. Maybe Chase’s busy.”

Two pairs of sky eyes fix on me.

Kyle tilts his head to the side. “Are you busy?”

I rub the back of my neck. Even if I was busy, there’s no way I can tell either of them no when they’re watching me like that. “Not really.”

That blinding smile is back on Kyle’s face in an instant. “See, Mom? I told you he came to see us. Where is your phone? I want to show Chase the photos Nana took.”

“It’s inside.”

Kyle jumps to his feet and rushes into the house, yelling over his shoulder. “Wait, I’m going to get it.”

Rose shakes her head as she watches him go. “This kid… You can tell him no sometimes, you know?”

I lift my shoulders in a shrug. “It’s fine, I don’t mind.”

Letting out a long breath, I sit down next to her and rest my head against the back of the headrest, closing my eyes for a second.

When I open them again, I find those big blue eyes fixed on me, all of the amusement gone from her face. “Are you okay?”

She lets her hand drop, her little finger links with mine between us. The smallest of touches, and yet, it feels like I can breathe for the first time since I woke up today.

I tighten my hold on her, the truth coming out in a low voice. “Now I am.”

Her eyes widen in surprise, her finger squeezing mine as we just stare at one another. My gaze falls to her mouth. I raise my hand, but before I can touch her, I can feel the floorboards shake with approaching footsteps. I drop my hand just as Kyle appears in the doorway.

“Found it.”

He lifts the phone in victory as he joins us.

“Nana took photos when we were at the zoo,” Kyle explains as he squeezes between Rose and me on the loveseat.

He unlocks her phone, and the image of Rose and Kyle appears on the screen. He looks younger, a football helmet is tucked under his arm, a dirt stain on his cheek. Kyle looks ecstatic, but although Rose is smiling, too, there are unmistakable shadows in her eyes staring back at me from the screen.

“I should change that.” Rose chuckles softly just as Kyle opens the gallery. I glance at her. “We took it last year after Kyle’s team won the championship. He was so happy.”

“Found it.” He pats my leg, his head tilting back, and rests on my chest so he can see me. “Look, there is the lion. He’s so big, and he was so close to us.”