Page 33 of Make Me Trust Again (Bluebonnet Creek #3)

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

CHASE

This was a terrible idea.

And yet, I can’t bring myself to turn around and go the hell back home.

The faint sounds of chatter and laughter fill the air as I just stand here on the side like some kind of creep and stare at the little group at the lake.

Or better said, the woman sitting by the lake.

Rose Hathaway.

Not yet, asshole. She’s still married.

My fingers curl into a fist, my mouth feeling dry. No matter how hard I try, I can’t take my eyes off of her.

Fuck, she was always pretty, but the little girl my sister hung out with that I remember from my childhood is long gone.

No, Rose is all woman.

A lean, gorgeous woman, who’s sitting by the lake and watches as the kids play. Some women would fuss about water splashing on them, but she takes it in stride, laughing and splashing them back.

“Chase!”

The sound of my name registers through the soft ringing in my ears.

Shadow’s body buzzing with excitement next to me.

I blink, my gaze coming into focus just in time to see a small body running straight toward me.

But he’s not the only one who spotts me either.

All eyes are on me, and I can feel my palms growing sweaty with nerves.

Dammit, I’m so fucking caught.

I glance over my shoulder, and for a split second, I debate if I should leave, but then I remember the disappointed look on Kyle’s face when I told him I couldn’t come, the reason why I’m here in the first place, and I can’t bring myself to leave although every cell in my body is telling me to run.

Just for a little while. A couple of hours at most, and then you can get the hell out of here.

“You can go.”

Shadow doesn’t need to be told twice before she dashes away, her strong legs eating up the distance as she meets Kyle halfway.

The little boy laughs as he hugs the dog.

I run my hand over my face. I expect to feel the sharp bristles of the stubble I always have, but the only thing I find is smooth skin.

Because, yes, I even took the time to shave before coming here. It’s fucking ridiculous.

Kyle looks up, and there is a moment of hesitance on his face before a smile breaks out on his lips. “You came.”

“I—” All the little lies I’ve been telling myself earlier today are on the tip of my tongue, but I can’t bring myself to say them out loud. “Yeah.”

If I thought Kyle’s earlier smile was big, it has nothing on the blinding grin he shoots my way as he grabs my hand and pulls me to the lake.

“Come. Everybody is already here. You can meet Levi, he’s my best friend, we were?—”

He continues chatting away as he leads me to the lake, but his voice turns into a distant buzz as I catch sight of Rose getting to her feet.

Holy fucking shit.

She’s stunning. Her silky hair is wet from swimming and falling down her back, droplets of water sliding down her body.

All that smooth, tanned skin is clad in the smallest fucking bikini I’ve ever seen, with little bows tying it together.

Bows, I can imagine myself slowly untying and watching them fa?—

Get a fucking grip, Williams.

I swallow hard, averting my gaze from the sweet temptation that’s Rose Hathaway, and almost run into my sister.

Fucking hell.

I expect some snarky comment, but she just stares at me, almost like she’s seen a ghost. “You came.”

“Miss Becky, I invited my friend Chase.”

My sister’s gaze falls to the boy before she turns to me, one brow quirking before she shifts her gaze to Kyle and signs: “Did you now? Well, I’m glad that he listens to you, at least. He sure isn’t listening to me.”

“You know Chase?”

Becky’s eyes narrow slightly, but she repeats the movement he made as she continues, her gaze darting to me. “Chase is my brother.”

Kyle’s eyes go wide. “Chase is your brother?”

My sister chuckles. “One of them. I have another one.”

“You have two brothers?”

“And both of them are driving me equally crazy most of the time.” Becky gives me a pointed look.

“The feeling is mutual.”

Just then, two other boys his age come, one of them signs something, at which Kyle signs back before turning to me.

“We’re going to play.” He nibbles at the corner of his lip. “Do you want to come with us?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Anything to get away from my nosy sister, and the questions I can already see are on the tip of her tongue. But before I can walk around her, she places her hand on my shoulder.

“Chase—” Different emotions play on her face, but she gives her head a small shake, her expression softening. “I’m glad you’re here.”

My throat feels tight, the disappointment and hurt visible in her eyes weighing on me and making it hard to breathe, so I just nod.

Becky takes a step back, and I join Kyle, who’s waiting for me.

I let him lead the way as he tells me how they’ve been playing catch, Shadow following in step with us.

I have to lower my head, slightly tilt it to the side, so I can hear him clearly, which is why I almost bump into him when he comes to a sudden stop.

“Mom, Chase is here!”

My head snaps up, and I find Rose’s bright, blue eyes staring into mine.

Her teeth sink into her lower lip. The towel she has around her shoulder slips slightly, revealing more of her skin, and I can feel my mouth go dry.

I watch as her fingers tug at the material, pulling it up.

Color starts rising from her chest, up her neck.

I should look away, but it’s like I’m transfixed.

Slowly, my gaze follows the movement, taking in her flushed skin, all the way to her mouth.

I want to lean down and tug her lip free before tasting her mouth again.

Feel her soft lips slide against mine as that little moan comes from her mouth.

As if she can read my mind, she slowly releases her lower lip, the tip of her tongue darting out to slide over it, and I have to press my lips together to stop from groaning.

“I can see that.”

“We’re going to play with the guys.”

That gets her attention. She blinks, her focus shifting to her son. “Why don’t you play with your friends and let Mr. Williams hang out with the adults?”

Kyle stubbornly shakes his head. “No, Chase came to hang out with me.”

“Kyle…” She crouches down and places her hand on his shoulder as if to bring him down gently.

“It’s fine. I don’t mind doing it.”

Rose glances at me, surprise evident in her blue eyes. “You don’t have to do that.”

“I know I don’t have to. I want to.”

As the words leave my mouth, I realize they’re the truth. I don’t mind hanging out with Kyle. He’s a good kid, and somehow, he’s managed to sneak under my skin. Just the fact that I willingly came here is a testament to that.

It scares the living crap out of me—both of them do—and yet, I can’t bring myself to push them away, no matter how hard I try.

You don’t deserve them. You know you’ll only end up disappointing them, just like everyone else.

The words ring in my head, that buzzing feeling grows louder in my ears, dulling all the other sounds, but before the panic can fully set in, Kyle turns to me.

Those blue eyes that are so much like his mother’s staring right at me with the trust only a kid can have in you.

Somebody who wasn’t aware just how badly you’ve screwed up, how unworthy you are of the trust they put in you.

One day, he’ll find out.

But today isn’t that day.

And selfishly, for once, I just want to be .

Blinking to clear my vision, I find Rose watching me. There’s something in her eyes that I don’t know how to name. She pushes to her feet, wrapping her arms around her middle. “Okay, then.”

Kyle slips his fingers around mine and tugs me forward. “Let’s go, Chase.”

“Touchdown!”

I watch as Kyle fist bumps with Levi in the makeshift end zone, celebrating their victory. Well, I guess it’s our victory.

Over lunch, Emmett and Miguel got into a discussion about how they usually play football during the summers when they’re at the lake like this, and when the boys heard it, there was no stopping them from wanting to be included, which somehow ended with me having to join them.

All three of the Fernandez boys, plus Emmett, against Blake, his son Levi, Kyle, and me.

“That’s how you do it, good job, you guys!” Blake hollers, a big smile on his face, as he turns to me and extends his hand. “You’re not too shabby, Williams.”

I slide my hand into his. “Not nearly as good as the rest of you.”

A hand slams against my shoulders from the back, startling me. “—It’ll get into his thick head,” Miguel grumbles as he slides next to me and shoots me a grin. “I see you still have it in you, Chase.”

Blake’s brows shoot up in surprise. “Wait, he played?”

I rub the back of my neck. “I don’t think playing peewee football counts.”

Miguel rolls his eyes. “He was actually pretty good, played all the way to middle school, but…” He catches himself at the very last second and shakes his head. “It was more than just peewee.”

Just then, a small body crashes into my legs. I look down to find Kyle grinning up at me. “Did you see that touchdown, Chase?”

“I did. That was a really good catch, bud.”

If possible, his grin grows even wider. “Right? Levi threw the ball really hard, but I caught it, and then I ran really fast.”

“The fastest. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen anybody run that fast.”

Kyle beams at the praise, and the next thing I know, his arms wrap around my middle, giving me a squeeze. “Thank you for playing. I had so much fun.”

Before I can say anything, or even think of what to say exactly, he turns around, calls out to Shadow, and the two of them run to the other boys.

Letting out a shaky breath, I just watch them for a moment, my throat growing tighter by the second. I run my hand over my jaw and turn on my heels, only to almost run into Becky.

“Good game,” she says, handing me a bottle of water, her other hand holding onto a sleeping Jackson.

I take it, grateful to have something to do with my hands. “Thanks.”