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“Oliver, the great detective that he is, put all the pieces together,” Gem said, pantomiming wildly. “And after inspecting the evidence, we’ve come to the conclusion that you’ve been flouncing around the town with a very special parachute.”

“ Paramour , Gem!” Oliver corrected vehemently.

“Paramour’s not even a word,” Gem cried.

Rusty scratched behind his ear as he said, “It’s definitely a word. ”

“Do not take his side!” Gem snarled, and Rusty shuffled back a half-step. “You have some explaining to do, you harlot. You and your secret girlfriend and your… flouncing.”

“I don’t think Rusty has ever flounced in his life,” Oliver said.

“Oh, babe, he flounces.” Gem simpered for a moment before he withered under Oliver’s significant stare. “Which is what his girlfriend would say. I assume.”

“I don’t have a girlfriend,” Rusty said, and Oliver threw up his hands.

“I know!”

Tail flicking, Rusty ducked his head and nodded. “Yeah, I figured.”

The kitchen doors opened, and Glyma, Willow, Zef, and Tad filtered in.

“Did they admit it?” Glyma asked.

“Only Rusty,” Oliver said. “Gem’s being stubborn.”

“We did warn you,” Willow said.

“For the record, I do not think this is workplace appropriate,” Zef said stiffly.

Tad knocked their lower arm with a webbed hand. “Oh, come on, Zef. This is fun. Even the customers are into it.”

A glance at the gathering crowd, all watching with rapt attention, proved her point, and warmth bloomed in Gem’s cheeks. “Maybe we should get back to work.”

“No,” Brenda said as she sipped noisily at her smoothie, “pretend we’re not here.”

Gem scowled at her, but it was Oliver who said, “You know you’re wearing purple, right?”

Rusty glanced down at his shirt, then he glowered at Gem. “Purple? ”

“Hey, don’t get your tail in a twist. It was early and dark this morning, and I was half-asleep because someone kept me up late, handcuffed to the bed.”

“The handcuffs were your idea,” Rusty defended, and Gem reared back at his volume.

“Hold up! I loved the handcuffs. I’m almost always down for some power-play, and babe, you delivered. I wasn’t complaining. I was justifying why I found it difficult to distinguish what color shirt you were holding up this morning.”

“Oh my god,” Oliver said as Willow and Glyma giggled.

Squeaking in horror, Gem scrambled to fix what was clearly unfixable at this point. “I mean, Rusty’s girlfriend likes power-play and handcuffs. Not me.”

“Seriously?” Rusty said.

“Yeah, Gem,” Oliver said, “come on.”

“Okay, fine! Spoiler alert, everyone: I’m the girlfriend. The girlfriend is me! ” Gem huffed, and as one, everyone—including a few customers, which was, honestly, uncalled for—said, “We know!”

“Well, excuse me for trying to establish open and honest communication,” Gem sniffed as Rusty snuffled a laugh. “But how did you all find out? We’ve been so stealthy.”

“This has been you being stealthy?” Glyma asked.

“Even Zef caught on,” Willow said, and Zef nodded sagely, antennas quivering.

“Yeah, you’ve been touching Rusty’s ass in front of me for, like, weeks,” Oliver said.

“Told you he’d see,” Rusty said unhelpfully.

“I was super subtle,” Gem defended .

“Or last week, when you kept sending Rusty dick pics during your shift?” Oliver accused.

“Yeah, you went to the bathroom so often Quin was worried you had a UTI,” Glyma chimed in.

“I have a very healthy urinary tract, thank you.” Gem pouted, before he caught Rusty’s eye and it bled into a sultry smile. “Though, I’ll admit, that was a fun day.”

Pointing to the kitchen, Willow said, “Not to mention, Zef caught you red-handed, blatantly making out in the walk-in cooler.”

“It was very unpleasant,” Zef said morosely.

“And you tried to play it off like you were giving Rusty upsies to the top shelf,” Glyma added.

“When we all know that Rusty would rather die than get upsies from anyone,” Oliver finished.

“Yeah, I kind of hated that more than anything in the world,” Rusty said.

Thoroughly offended, Gem crossed several arms over his torso. “Well, I’ve never heard you complain when I give you upsies to my mouth.”

“Gross,” Oliver whined.

“I mean, you’re not wrong, I guess,” Rusty admitted grudgingly, and Gem wriggled in triumph, booping him on the nose.

Glyma clapped, her purple tail dancing behind her. “I’m so glad you guys are finally together.”

At that, Rusty stiffened, ears flattening against his head, and panic seized Gem’s chest. No, no, no, they couldn’t talk about commitment.

That was when things fell apart, and Gem wasn’t ready to lose this.

He didn’t think he’d ever be ready to lose Rusty, but that was what happened whenever talk about boyfriends and commitment came up.

That was when people bailed, and Gem wasn’t ready !

“Oh, we’re not together,” he blurted quickly. “Like, we’re just being super chill and casual and chill, you know? Like, it’s not even that deep.”

Glyma frowned, and Zef’s wings buzzed in agitation. Oliver cocked his head in confusion, and Willow gasped softly, pressing a hand to her mouth. But it was Rusty’s reaction that threatened to shatter Gem’s twin hearts to pieces.

“What?” Rusty said so quietly Gem almost missed it. His tail drooped to drag over the floor, and his shoulders sagged, like he was curling in to make himself smaller, trying to disappear.

“Rus,” Gem whispered, reaching toward him, and the Pyclon flinched away. Hurt reflected in those pale eyes before they hardened into the guarded mask Gem hadn’t seen in months.

“Right,” he said flatly, jaw tight. “Casual.”

“No, wait, that’s not what I meant,” Gem choked out, taking another step toward him.

He matched it with a step back of his own, and Gem’s chest squeezed painfully.

“I didn’t mean it like that. I just… ’cause we said chill, right?

And then we didn’t really talk about it again, and I didn’t want to bring it up and jinx it.

“Because I’m the boy you take home for a night, not the one you introduce to your parents.

” Gem pressed several hands to his chest and stomach as Rusty’s expression softened.

“I’m the fun guy for flings or no-strings-attached, but I’m not the boyfriend, you know?

And every time I’ve ever tried, the other guy runs away at the earliest opportunity.

“Like, I’m not even exaggerating, either.

This one time, I was friends-with-bennies with this guy named Chad—and don’t judge me, okay?

” Gem glared wetly at the smile forming on Rusty’s mouth.

“I should’ve known, just given his name, but I was young and he was very attractive.

And we’d been fucking around for a while, and I was like, ‘Hey, do you wanna come to this super chill hangout and meet my friends?’ And he was like, ‘What? I think someone’s calling me.

’ Then he literally sprinted away, and I never saw him again.

“Which I get, because I know I’m a lot, so I try not to be clingy or expect anything, because then I won’t be disappointed when they eventually leave.

But you never left.” He was nearly crying now, and he swiped furiously at the stupid tears forming in his eyes as Rusty took a step toward him.

“Even with the crazy cow closet and my ginormous, loud family and the fact that I talk twenty-four-seven about inappropriate things like watching porn with Toni and selling pictures of my asshole online.”

Rusty took another step, and Gem’s chest hitched.

“But it’s never been casual, not to me. I’ve never wanted that.

I just didn’t know how to say that without scaring you off or putting pressure on you.

” Another step, and they were nearly toe-to-tarsal claw.

“And I’m sorry. I know you hate attention, and now I’m pouring my heart out in a room full of people, and for some crazy reason, you’re still not running. ”

Clawed hands framed his face as he panted for air, and Rusty was smiling up at him so fondly. “Why would I run from the best thing that’s ever happened to me?”

A fresh wave of tears spilled over and tracked down his cheeks, and he shook his head as Rusty brushed them away with his thumbs. “Don’t say that. You can’t say that.”

“You’re my gaiz,” Rusty said, eyes achingly tender.

“You’re my anymkara. I love your crazy cow closet and your big, loud family.

I love that you built me a pillow nap nest in your bed and held me while I cried about my mom.

I love that you taught me how to swim for my birthday and read my graphic novel.

I love our slumber parties and painting your nails and listening while you talk about your asshole or jerking off with Toni or cow-furry-porn and…

“Gem, I never want you to be less; I like you exactly as you are. And I don’t want casual.

I don’t think this has ever been casual or chill.

I mean, we’re the least chill people ever.

” At that, Gem laughed wetly, and Rusty smiled fully, bright and beautiful.

“So I’m not going anywhere, okay? You asked me to stay, and I promised I would.

I’m planning to stay as long as you want me. ”

“I’m gonna want you forever,” Gem said, and Rusty’s tail puffed up with pleasure. He purred, and Gem’s fur vibrated in response.

“Then how about you give me upsies to your mouth so I can kiss you,” Rusty said, and Gem shrieked with laughter as he did exactly that.

Scooping Rusty up, Gem smashed their lips together exuberantly, and Rusty laughed into his mouth, kissing him back.

Someone said, “aw,” and someone else sniffled.

Then someone clapped, and it turned into the finale of a cheesy rom-com where people cheered, and Gem’s hearts were so full of love and joy he feared he’d explode.

When they parted, Rusty pressed their foreheads together, whiskers twitching in embarrassment as someone—Oliver, Gem thought—whooped. Gem rubbed their noses together, and Rusty purred again, deep and lovely as he rubbed his knuckles down the length of Gem’s throat.

“So, are we boyfriends now?” Gem asked carefully, and Rusty snorted.

“Pretty sure we’ve been boyfriends for a while, even if we were too stupid and insecure to admit it,” he said, and Gem beamed at him.

“When we get home later, I’m gonna suck your dick until you die,” he said with more intensity than he intended.

Rusty grimaced. “Your affection is very violent. ”

“Get used to it, babes. You’re stuck with me now.”

“I can live with that,” he said, and Gem squealed and kissed him again.

Then several bodies surrounded them, arms squeezing in a group hug as Oliver said, “We just thought you two were fucking. We didn’t know you were in love!”

“I did,” Willow sighed happily as she rested her head on Gem’s shoulder.

“I know this is against HR, but I want to be part of this too,” Glyma said as she joined the hug. “Don’t tell Quin.”

“Unfortunately, I’m here too,” Quin said gruffly as she loosely hooked an arm around Oliver’s shoulders. “As unprofessional as this all is, I’m very happy for you both.”

“I shall join the embrace in spirit, not in body,” Zef said from several feet away, though one light green hand did pat Rusty’s shoulder briefly.

“It’s too mushy for my taste,” Tad grumbled, crossing her arms over her chest. “I was hoping you two would argue and break up and then maybe Gem would murder Rusty in a crime of passion.” Everyone turned and frowned down at the Anura.

She blinked her bulbous eyes at them and shrugged.

“What? At least that would have been funny.”

Rusty balked in offense as the embrace broke apart enough Gem could place him back on his feet. “Gem murdering me would be funny?”

“Don’t take it personal,” she chided.

“How is me getting murdered not personal?” he demanded.

“Well, if Toni finds out, Rusty might still get murdered,” Gem offered, withering under Rusty’s glare. “Which would be terrible, of course, and I would protect you with my life. Theoretically.”

Tad grinned eerily, checking her watch. “Excellent. Things are about to get good.”

“Let’s do our best to avoid murder on cafe property,” Quin said .

“Yeah, another dead body will not play well with the press,” Glyma agreed.

“Blood makes me queasy,” Willow said.

“And I’d be the one forced to clean it up,” Oliver said miserably.

“Nice to know my safety is the priority here,” Rusty said flatly.

“Let’s just keep things chill until I have a chance to talk with Toni,” Gem said, and everyone nodded, mumbling agreement. He sighed in relief, but the reprieve lasted only a moment before his stomach froze to ice at the sound of his best friend’s voice.

“Talk to Toni about what?”