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“What?” Oliver’s voice rang through the phone, and Gem winced. “You just said you wanted to power-bottom for me.”

Gem tsked. “See, it’s things like that, Ollie. Super unprofesh.”

“ You said it!”

“And you keep bringing it up. I think the ship has sailed on us. It’s time to let go.”

After a beat of silence, Oliver said, “You’re lying, and I’m going to get to the bottom of it, mark my words.”

“M’kay, Ollie.” Gem simpered and sniffed haughtily. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Bye! ”

“Gem!” The human’s screech was cut off by Gem hanging up on him, and he bit his bottom lip with one tiny fang.

“Do you think he bought it?”

“I don’t see how he could have,” Rusty flatly, and Gem bristled, rising to his knees on the couch.

“Well, I hate lying, so I did the best I could. I don’t even know why I couldn’t just tell him it was you.” Two hands on his hips, Gem crossed his other arms over his torso and glared at him expectantly.

Rusty floundered for a moment, but eventually managed to say, “I just—I didn’t want—what if he thought something?”

Impossibly, Gem looked more confused than before. “Thought what?”

“I dunno,” Rusty mumbled, scuffing the carpet with the ball of his foot. “Something weird.”

“I think it’s safe to say that he’s thinking something weird right now,” Gem practically snarled. “He thinks I’m fondling my neighbor’s enlarged balls!”

“You said that, not me.”

Jaw dropping, Gem huffed and puffed until he seethed, “Oh, you are—sometimes, you drive me up the fucking wall!”

“Me?” Honestly, Rusty had never been more offended. “Have you met you? Your whole personality consists of driving me crazy.”

Gem climbed to his feet, towering over Rusty as he scowled fiercely. “Then why are you even here if you hate me so much?”

“Oh my gods, you’re so dramatic,” Rusty sneered. “I don’t hate you.”

“Then what in the deities was that?” Gem demanded, pointing wildly at the couch.

“Why couldn’t Oliver know you were here?

” Like he’d realized the answer, his frustration bled into hurt.

“Oh my gods, you’re ashamed of me, aren’t you?

You don’t want anyone to know we’re friends because you’re ashamed. You fucking asshat!”

“I’m not ashamed of you,” Rusty said, even though he wasn’t exactly sure if that was true.

“Then what is it? You don’t want to ruin your tough reputation at work?

‘Oh no, can’t let anyone know I brought Gem soup or else they might think I have a heart!

’ It’s kind of pathetic,” Gem said, and Rusty growled out a warning.

“Aw, I’m sorry. Is that insulting? Must suck to have someone you thought was your friend insult you right to your fucking face. ”

“I’m not insulting you. I just didn’t want Oliver to think we were—” He cut himself off, embarrassment warming him under his fur.

“Think we were what?” Gem asked.

“Think we were… doing things,” Rusty ground out, and Gem blinked at him.

Then he burst into laughter. “Oh my gods, what? That’s so stupid. Why would Oliver think we were fucking?”

Rusty couldn’t decide whether he should be more embarrassed or more offended as Gem hugged his middle and laughed until his eyes watered. “I don’t know. I just didn’t want him thinking things.”

“First off, you can’t control what Oliver thinks regardless. Secondly, why would us hanging out automatically translate to other people that we’re fucking? Thirdly, why do you even care?”

“How do you not?” Rusty countered, and Gem snorted.

“Babe, if I spent my time worrying about what people thought of me, I’d literally never get anything done.

I do stupid stuff all the time, but I don’t care what anyone thinks.

My friends won’t judge me or think shitty things about me.

Not if they’re actually my friends. And if we’re talking strangers?

” Gem shrugged, like he wasn’t making Rusty’s brain explode.

“ I’m never gonna see them again. So who cares?

If anything, I provide funny stories for them to tell their friends about.

Which makes me kinda famous. You know, without all the drama and paparazzi. ”

Without meaning to, Rusty barked a disbelieving laugh. “I hate people noticing me at all, let alone remembering me and telling their friends about me.”

“For what it’s worth—and don’t take this the wrong way.” Gem wrapped an arm around Rusty’s shoulders and linked their elbows together with another arm. “But people aren’t looking at you as much as you think they are.”

Gem led him back to the couch and sat them both down.

“Most of the time, people are too worried thinking about themselves to even notice you, let alone judge you. Not that you aren’t worth noticing,” he corrected quickly.

“You’re objectively hot in a broody, emo kind of way, but like, beyond that, people probably aren’t even looking at you. ”

Honestly, that made Rusty feel better. “Huh, I guess I might have overreacted then. With Oliver.”

Gem sucked his teeth. “Just a little bit.”

The second half of Gem’s statement clicked then, and Rusty stiffened, “Wait, did you just call me hot?”

“Objectively,” Gem repeated, booping Rusty on the nose. “I can see you making it weird. Don’t do it. I don’t make it weird that you think I’m pretty.”

“Wow, arrogant much?” Rusty deflected, right ear twitching.

Gem’s expression was offensively condescending. “Babes, I’m an Araknis. We literally navigate the world through pheromones.”

“Stop navigating my pheromones!” Rusty cried, and Gem laughed again .

“Oh my gods, you make everything such a big deal.” Shoving Rusty into the corner of the couch, Gem wriggled until he was horizontal, lying his head on Rusty’s leg. “All this yelling is bringing my headache back. Can we just… watch anime boys kiss now?”

Since he didn’t know what else to do, Rusty slumped in defeat. “Fine.”

“Can you maybe rub my head again? Like you did yesterday?” Gem asked, several tiny eyes swiveling to look up at Rusty as he pushed play on the anime he’d queued up. “It really helped before.”

“Sure,” Rusty said, cautiously placing a paw on Gem’s head. With a sigh, Gem snuggled closer, rubbing his cheek against Rusty’s jean-clad thigh. When Rusty’s fingers sifted through his soft curls, the Araknis hummed in pleasure, and Rusty smiled to himself.

“Thanks, Rus,” Gem said as the opening credits of the anime played. “Not just for the soup.”

“It’s no big deal,” Rusty said, and the Gem’s cheek lifted with his smile.

“If you say so,” he said diplomatically.

Gem fell asleep thirty minutes into the film, but Rusty didn’t wake him.

He continued rubbing his head, marveling at how silky his hair felt against his hide.

Then he felt like a creep, marveling at anything while Gem was unconscious.

So he hooked one arm over the back of the couch and set the other on the armrest as he watched the anime boys kiss, his heart beating fast and heavy in his chest the whole time.