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Another wordless grunt was Rusty’s only reply. Still cackling, Gem turned out the living room lights, then headed to his bedroom. Behind the room partition, he shed his robe and slipped on his favorite sleep shirt that read cumdumpster across the chest in rhinestones.

Since Rusty wasn’t going to share his bed, he didn’t feel weird about removing his capris to sleep in his panties, though he did exchange the lacy lingerie for his more comfortable briefs. He crawled under his covers and snuggled in, clicking off his lamp and dousing his flat in darkness.

“Goodnight, Rusty,” Gem called out.

Fabric shifted in the living room, and Gem caught the barest sound of a heavy exhale. Then Rusty said, “Goodnight, Gem.”

When Gem awoke the next morning, it was to an empty flat and a text from his boss, Glyma. He didn’t see the text at first. He groggily went about his morning routine, pausing in the living room to inspect the clean couch and the pile of bedding neatly folded at one end .

Atop the pile was a hastily scrawled note.

Thank you. See you at work. —R

Gem traced the harsh slash of Rusty’s writing and smiled to himself before he jumped in the shower to ready himself for his day.

He shampooed the fur on his arms and legs, then added a conditioning mask that ensured it would be shiny and soft.

He scrubbed his scalp, then worked in a second conditioner that kept his curls from exploding into a frizzy mess the moment he blow-dried it.

He considered a quick jerk—since Brad had failed to impress last night before Rusty had shown up—but decided against it. He didn’t have enough time to truly commit, and if there was one thing he disliked worse than an interrupted blowjob, it was a rushed, half-assed orgasm.

It was upon entering his bedroom, one towel wrapped around his head, another secured to his torso, that he checked his phone and found Glyma’s text.

Gem, you’re the man!

“Oh my gods,” Gem said before he squealed in excitement and happy-danced to his dresser. He dug around in his drawer until he found the tank top he wanted and tugged it on. Then he took a selfie and sent it to Glyma.

You’re godsdamned right I’m the man!

She responded a moment later with a laughing emoji and a thumbs-up.

Leaving his flat half an hour later, he was already in a fantastic mood. He was having a great hair day, his curly mullet falling just the way he liked it. He’d had an unexpected and surprisingly enjoyable sleepover with Rusty the night before. And now, he was absolutely the fucking man!

He rode the tram to the train station, then hopped on the train to Purgatory. Practically skipping across the teal sand, Gem entered through the back of the cafe and twirled into the kitchen where Zef, Glyma, and Willow were already busy at work.

“Good morning,” Gem trilled as he propped his ginormous yellow sunglasses atop his head and struck a pose. “I’m the motherfucking man, y’all!”

Glyma immediately burst into laughter, her lavender tail dancing behind her.

Her apron was dusted with flour, and more powder was smeared across her cheek, probably from her brushing her lilac hair out of her face while she worked.

Amusement danced in her hot pink eyes as she clapped her approval, her nails painted a deep purple color a few shades darker than her skin.

She was, hands down, the most beautiful woman Gem had ever seen. She’d even given him straight panic the first time they’d met. Him! And he was, like, the gayest. It had been the most confusing ninety seconds of his life, but he blamed it on her Succubus aura.

“You look great,” she said with a wink, and Gem preened.

“You know,” Willow said as she kneaded dough, gooey chunks sticking to her rough, dark skin. “He’s going to catch on eventually.”

Gem frowned at the Dryad, and she shrugged her narrow shoulders, her long, ivy-vined hair swaying with the motion. “Actually, I don’t think he will,” he said, “and I’ll happily tell you why. ”

“Must you?” Zef asked in their wispy voice, milky compound eyes blinking blandly up at Gem as their wings buzzed.

With a nod, Gem stowed his sunglasses in his purse.

“Yes. Firstly, we’ve been doing this for literal years, and he’s never once suspected anything.

So if he was going to find out, he would have already.

Secondly, I only do it every couple times.

If I did it every time, sure, he would probably assume that it was purposeful.

But only every, say, third time? That’s easily chalked up to coincidence. ”

“Perhaps he already knows and is simply pretending not to,” the Mantodea offered as they piled their white hair into a high ponytail with their top hands as their lower hands continued to work.

“Why would he do that?” Gem asked, and Willow smirked knowingly.

“To not ruin your fun?” she said, and Gem wrinkled his nose.

“Toni goes along with my schemes so as not to ruin my fun. Rusty purposefully rains on my parade at every opportunity. So I’m pretty sure he has no idea.”

“Who has no idea?” Rusty asked, making Gem yelp.

He rounded on the Pyclon who was dressed in his usual baggy black jeans and his black cut off that read, F*ck the Man . “Oh my gods, where did you come from?”

Hooking his thumb over his shoulder, Rusty pointed toward the doors leading to the front counter. “Where do you think I came fr—oh for deities’ sake!” Glaring at Gem’s tank top, that proudly stated, I’m the Man, Rusty bared his canines in a snarl. “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.”

“Oh em geez, this is getting ridiculous.” Gem made a big show of shock and horror at the uncanny coincidence of their shirts. “Why are you always wearing that shirt when I wear mine? ”

“I was wearing mine first!” Rusty turned to Glyma but pointed a black-painted claw at Gem’s chest. “Does he have access to the security cameras or something? This is not normal.”

Glyma tittered. “Of course not, Rusty. Only Quin and I have access.”

“Yeah, and do you really think I’d go to such lengths just to coordinate shirts with you, regardless of how hysterical it is?” Gem asked innocently.

“Yes,” Rusty said flatly. “You most definitely would.”

Gem sucked his teeth. “Okay, I’ll give you that one. I probably would. But as Glyma has clearly stated, I do not have access to the security cameras. So it’s just a happy coincidence. Think of it as the universe’s way of having fun.”

Tail tall and puffed, Rusty released a deep-chested growl before he stalked out of the kitchen. “I hate today.”

As the doors shut behind him, Gem turned to his three conspirators and shimmied. “See? Doesn’t have a clue. I love today!”

After stowing his purse and jacket, Gem joined Rusty and Oliver—his first and very best human friend—behind the front counter of the Passing Through Cafe.

He took Oliver’s place at the espresso machine so the cute blond could work the register, freeing Rusty to clean the tables dirtied from the early morning rush.

When Oliver noticed Gem’s shirt, he laughed. “Nice!”

Gem winked several eyes at him as he stamped fresh espresso into the portafilter and steamed dairy. “Rusty didn’t demand that I explain the mix-up to customers this time. I think he’s finally starting to see the humor.”

“Maybe, but you might not want to mention it. Once he realizes, he’ll make you do it,” Oliver said as he handed a piece of Glyma’s famous kriltcake over the counter to a waiting customer.

“So, is Liel back in the Pentagram yet, or are you still coming to mine tonight after the club?” Gem asked over the sputter of the milk steamer.

The Gymnot Oliver had been talking to—and sexting—for the past two weeks had been in the human world for work, but he was supposed to be coming back sometime this weekend.

They’d made plans to hit up a club in Gluttony tonight, and Oliver was going to spend the night with Gem so he could stay on this side of the veil.

Since Gem prided himself on being Hellia’s best wingman, he was more than willing to do just about anything to help Oliver get laid.

Apparently, the human hadn’t had sex in eight months, which was honestly a travesty. Gem couldn’t imagine being celibate that long. He could barely make it a few weeks without getting dicked down. Maybe humans were built differently, but Gem was in awe that Oliver was still sane.

Oliver looked rather glum as he answered, “Liel’s still in Boston, but he should be coming home tomorrow. Is it still okay if I crash at yours?”

“Of course, babes. We’ll have ourselves a slumber party; it’s gonna be so fun.” Reaching out, Gem squeezed Oliver’s arm. “Do you like cuddling? Because I really like cuddling.”

A light blush colored the tops of Oliver’s cheeks, dusting them a cute pink and making the subtle spots on his nose more prominent. “Yeah, I’m good with cuddling.”

“Oh yay! Snuggle buddies.” Gem clapped his top hands as he drew a swirly leaf design with the frothy milk to finish off the cappuccino with his middle hands.

The mid-morning rush hit, and Gem chatted with familiar regulars as he worked.

Toni, Gem’s best friend since the age of fourteen, swaggered into the cafe through the front door around nine.

His indigo hair was slicked back, though a stubborn wave curled over his forehead, and he was wearing a pair of tight jeans, his usual shitkicker boots, and a t-shirt with the sleeves ripped off—to ensure his arm fins didn’t get crushed.

He looked tired, but when his black eyes met Gem’s, he offered him a small smile. Then he noticed Gem’s shirt and checked Rusty’s. “Ha! Nice one, Gemmy,” the Elas said, clicking his tongue and shooting Gem finger guns.

Gem curtsied, refusing to mute his smile, even when Rusty shot him an unimpressed look. “Thank you. The customers are having a really fun time with it today.”

“Homicide will send you to jail, Rus,” Rusty muttered under his breath as he boxed up several coagulated blood tarts. “You wouldn’t do well in jail.”

“Really?” Oliver asked as he swiped a customer’s card. “I feel like you’d do pretty good in jail actually.”

Rusty cocked his head. “You think?”

“Dude, you’re scary when you want to be,” Oliver said, and Rusty grinned, his tail poofing up in satisfaction.

He gave Oliver a friendly smack to the shoulder. “Thanks, K.O.”

“If I ever went to jail, I’d create a harem of beefy guys to protect me,” Gem said as he slid several drinks over the counter to waiting customers. “They’d be my security bitches, and I’d reward them.” He waggled his eyebrows at Rusty as he added, “Generously.”

Oliver laughed as Rusty rolled his eyes, and Toni paused in the kitchen doorway, holding the swinging doors open as he gave Gem a proud onceover. “Gemmy, if anyone could reign as queen in prison, it’d be you. ”

Gem preened. “You’re godsdamned right. My rule would be firm but fair, and I’d petition the prison execs for cuter uniforms because orange is not my color.”

“I’d feel safer in prison if you were in charge,” Oliver said sincerely, and Gem pressed two hands to his chest.

“Aw, Ollie. That’s so sweet. I’d make you my favorite bitch.”

Chest swelling, Oliver shot Rusty a smug grin. “Hear that? I’d be Gem’s favorite.”

“His favorite bitch ,” Rusty corrected, but before Oliver could retort, Gem wrapped an arm around the human’s shoulders and glared at Rusty.

“Hey, I’d take good care of him, and I’d show him a good time. I feel like it’s a win for everyone involved.”

“Honestly, I agree,” Oliver said.

With a snort, Rusty shook his head and folded a new bakery box. “How about we just avoid prison all together?”

“He’s so jealous,” Gem whispered loudly in Oliver’s ear.

“So jealous,” Oliver agreed, mouth twitching with the need to smile.

A growl rumbled in Rusty’s chest, making both Gem and Oliver laugh, but their conversation was derailed as another wave of customers flowed into the cafe.

Even though Rusty was scowling, the amused sway to his tail gave him away, and it filled Gem’s belly with crackling warmth as he returned to his spot behind the espresso machine.

The Pylon complained and postured, but Gem knew he secretly enjoyed their repartee. And since it was practically Gem’s favorite pastime, it made him endlessly happy. Today was proving to be a fantastic day indeed.