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“He don’t got a dick, but whatever he does have going on down there, I wanna put my mouth on. That’s all I’m saying!” Toni barked impatiently. “But that ain’t the only thing. He said we could be friends, so we’re friends.”

“Friends with benefits?” Gem clarified, and Toni see-sawed his hand.

“Maybe. He said we could be friends that kiss, so…”

With a distressed noise, Gem dropped the towel and cupped Toni’s face, neck and shoulders with his hands. “Oh, Toni, you’re a hopeless romantic. You’re not built for a friends-with-bennies situationship.”

“What are you talking about? Toni can do friends-with-benefits. I’ve been in my slut-era, and you said I was doing a good job!”

“And you have been. I’ve never been more proud of you,” Gem said earnestly, rubbing Toni’s blue-striped cheeks with his thumbs. “But one-night stands are not the same as friends-with-benefits. With one-night stands, you never see them again, so there is literally no chance of getting attached.

“If you fuck around with Jude, you’ll get attached.

You have a weird wire connecting your heart to your dicks, and there’s only so many times your dicks can interact with someone before you fall head over ass.

” Toni’s full brows furrowed in a scowl, and Gem backtracked.

“Which I love about you. It’s a beautiful and admirable quality.

But it’s not conducive with a friends-with-bennies arrangement. ”

“Thank you for not being condescending,” Toni said sarcastically, pushing Gem’s many hands away. “I came out here looking for some support from my best friend of over a decade, and this is what I get.”

With a scoff, Gem turned back to the coffee machine. “You know I’ll support you in whatever you choose to do. I’m always on your side. But I’m also gonna look out for you, because that’s what we do.” He shot Toni a significant look. “We look out for each other. Always.”

Toni softened, fins fluttering happily as he mumbled under his breath before stepping into Gem’s side and wrapping his arms around his torso. “Gemmy, why you gotta go and be all mushy? I’m weak for your mush, you know that.”

“It’s because your heart is soft and mushy,” Gem teased. “That’s why I’m trying to protect it.”

Toni scoffed, forcing false bravado as he said, “There ain’t nothing soft or mushy about me, baby.”

With a gag, Gem shoved Toni away. “Ew, Toni!”

Toni cackled, smacking a wet kiss to Gem’s cheek before he could dodge it. “I love you. You know that, right?”

Triumphant, Gem bundled his best friend in his arms, petting his spinal fin. “I love you too.”

“I don’t know what I did in my past life to deserve you,” Toni grumbled into Gem’s neck, “but it must have been something amazing. ”

“You probably cured a plague of some sort,” Gem said with a kiss to Toni’s forehead. “It’s the only explanation really.”

They embraced until a customer walked up to the register, and Gem turned back to the espresso machine as Toni took their order. His phone chirped in his pocket, and he pulled it out as he put the remaining pieces of the coffee machine back together.

[Rusty] So… were you serious about showing me how to put in contacts?

Snickering quietly, Gem typed out a response.

Of course! I wear contacts all the time when I’m in drag.

Bring your contacts with you the next time you come to watch anime with me, and we’ll practice. Okay?

We’re watching anime again, are we?

Yes. We watched my BL last night, so now we need to watch the violent, bloody one you suggested.

I don’t mind BL. Chainsaw Man is kind of intense, so it’s cool if you don’t want to watch it.

I’m braver than you’re giving me credit for right now. Plus, I’m curious what kind of violent anime show would call itself Chainsaw Man .

Rusty replied with several laughing emojis before his next text came through.

I won’t spoil it for you.

Fine, be that way. Come over this weekend. I’ll provide food. You provide the contact lenses. We can get high and watch anime gore.

You’re not going near my eyes unless you’re sober.

We’ll practice with the contacts first. Then we’ll get high and watch anime gore.

Fine. Saturday?

It’s a date. *winky emoji*

Why do you always have to make it weird?

“What are you laughing about?” Toni asked, interrupting Gem’s laugh and making him jump at his sudden proximity. “Who you texting?”

For some reason, Gem swallowed the truthful answer dancing along his tongue as he tucked his phone away.

Toni was his best friend, and they didn’t keep secrets from each other.

Yet, he couldn’t bring himself to admit that he and Rusty had been hanging out more.

Not because he was ashamed, but because Toni and Rusty didn’t get along, and Gem didn’t want to get dragged into an argument .

So, for what might have been the first time, he lied straight to his best friend’s face. “No one. Just… some rando on Cock’d who wants to rearrange my guts this weekend.”

With a bark of laughter, Toni slapped Gem’s ass. “That’s my boy! Get those guts rearranged.”

Honestly, the idea of getting his guts rearranged sounded less appealing than it usually did, given the happenings of last weekend, but Gem blamed it on the lingering effects of the drugs.

He just needed a few more days to bounce back, and he’d be having meaningless, casual sex again in no time.

He refused to let some dickbag ruin his favorite hobby, after all.

On the train ride back to Lust, Gem finally had a chance to text Rusty back.

It’s not weird to have a friend date. Toni and I do it all the time.

Friend date?

Yes, like a platonic date with a friend.

That’s weird.

It’s not that weird.

Can’t we just call it hanging out?

No. It’s a friend date or it’s nothing.

It took Rusty a long time to respond, and Gem could practically hear his dejected disgust when he finally did reply.

Fine. I’ll bring my contacts to our… friend date.

I knew you’d see things my way.

Rusty replied with a single middle finger emoji, and Gem threw his head back and laughed.