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But she was long dead, and Rusty had grown accustomed to loneliness. Yet Gem’s simple statement had his throat tightening with emotion.

“Right,” Rusty said after an uncomfortably long pause. “Friends. If you say so,” he added gruffly, making the Arkanis roll numerous eyes.

“Well, you have my name tattooed on your back now,” he mumbled irritably. “If that doesn’t make us friends, I don’t know what does.” Rusty growled at him, and Gem sucked in a breath through his teeth. “Sorry. Too soon?”

“It will always be too soon.”

Blowing a noisy raspberry, Gem gracelessly plopped down onto the floor beside Rusty, forcing him to hug his tail to his chest to keep it from being crushed under the Araknis’s huge ass. “Psh, just give it a few months. This will make a really funny story one day.”

“We are never speaking of this day again,” Rusty said seriously.

Gem snorted. “M’kay, sure.”

Debilitating fear and shame at the prospect of anyone discovering the tattoo gripped Rusty’s stomach, and he found himself turning on the Araknis with canines bared. “You can’t tell anyone!”

With a squeak, Gem scrabbled away until his back hit the bathroom cabinet. “I didn’t mean—”

“No one can ever know,” Rusty snarled, rising onto his knees and pointing a threatening claw at Gem’s face. “No one.”

“Wow, you are so intense right now,” Gem whispered, all eight eyes wide.

“I’m serious, Gem.”

“Okay, yeesh. I won’t tell anyone.” When Rusty narrowed his eyes doubtfully, Gem grunted impatiently. “I swear, Rus. I won’t tell anybody about the tattoo.”

“Or the… cuddling,” Rusty sneered the last word like it was something dirty.

“Or the cuddling,” Gem agreed, mouth twitching in amusement. “I swear on my life.”

“Not good enough,” Rusty seethed.

Gem threw up several hands. “Well, I don’t know what else I can swear on, if my life isn’t serious enough for you.”

Rusty wracked his brain for a moment, before he leaned in, using Gem’s raised knee to steady his balance. “You don’t breathe a word of this to anyone—”

“Even Toni?” Gem asked .

“Especially Toni!” Rusty hissed, and Gem flinched. “Not a word to anybody or else I’ll ensure you never have sex again.”

Bone-deep horror twisted Gem’s features, and he gasped dramatically. “But I love sex!”

“I know,” Rusty said smugly.

“That’s cruel and unusual punishment.”

“And yet, it won’t be punishment enough if you squeal.”

A haughty smirk curled the edges of Gem’s mouth. “And how, pray tell, do you expect to enforce this? You gonna follow me around and bat away all the dicks flying at my ass?”

That was a mental image Rusty could have lived his entire life without seeing, but he shook it off. “If I have to. I’ll be this dimension’s biggest, most dedicated cockblock.”

“You’re highly underestimating my ability to pull dick,” Gem sniffed.

“Ha, I don’t need to compete with you for the dick. I just have to be there.” Rusty placed his second hand on Gem’s other knee and leaned in farther. “You’re on the dance floor, living your best techno life, and some hot Incubus comes to dance up on you. But he can’t, because I’m in the way.”

Gem’s jaw dropped with a comical gasp, but Rusty wasn’t done.

“Some cute Rhopa approaches you at the bodega to ask for your number. Oh wait, I already gave it to them, except—plot twist—it’s one number off!

” Gem’s leg fur vibrated in an annoyed hum as Rusty went in for the kill.

“You’re at the bar, and a thicc Bovyn tries to buy you a drink.

But guess what? I’m already there, telling him about the summer you had frosted tips. ”

“You absolute whore!” Gem wailed. “Frosted tips were in that year.”

Rusty shook his head, slow and somber. “Frosted tips are never in.”

Gem scowled. “You’re evil! ”

A sharp grin cut across Rusty’s face. “You bet your ginormous ass I am.”

“Don’t you dare bring my ass into this! You’re already threatening her enough.”

That brought Rusty up short. “Your ass is a she?”

“You’re godsdamned right it is, and she’s a hungry bitch. Get in her way, and my bussy will eat you alive,” Gem said, flashing fang.

Rusty shuddered in revulsion. “I hate everything that just came out of your mouth.”

“Well, I can’t help it. Mama’s gotta eat!”

“Stop talking about your ass like it’s sentient,” Rusty yelled.

“Given her size and personality, she might as well be,” Gem shouted back.

Nearly nose-to-nose now, both their chests heaving, they glared at each other, and Rusty couldn’t decide whether he wanted to wring Gem’s neck or…

Well, he wasn’t exactly sure what the other urge was, to be honest. His blood roared in his ears, and for some inexplicable reason, he felt hot all over.

His insides squirmed, and his mouth was suddenly desert dry.

At some point, Gem’s hand had fisted in Rusty’s chest fur, and his fingers flexed, his many eyes roaming over Rusty’s face. Something charged in the space between them, and Rusty’s gaze dropped, unbidden, to Gem’s mouth.

Objectively, it was a nice mouth. Not that Rusty spent much time considering the niceness of mouths, but he figured that Gem’s was nicer than most. Modest top lip with a nearly perfect cupid’s bow.

Full bottom lip that had once been graced with a dainty silver ring.

Gem had taken the piercing out a year or two prior, but Rusty could still see the scarred divot left behind.

Even so, Gem’s mouth was still… nice. Generally speaking, of course.

“Rus?” Gem whispered, and the weight of two more hands coming to rest on Rusty’s waist brought with them the reminder that Rusty was still very naked, and he and Gem were so very close to each other.

Rusty blinked, and the strange energy brewing between them glitched and trembled. “Huh?”

“I promise I won’t say anything about the tattoo,” the Araknis said, tone sincere, expression earnest. “I wouldn’t embarrass you like that.” A tiny fang peeked out and dimpled Gem’s bottom lip. “And I also don’t want you to cockblock me for eternity.”

Gem’s words, coupled with the confusing and overwhelming emotions swirling in Rusty’s chest, caused something to bubble up and out of his throat. It wasn’t a shout or a growl or even a snarky comeback. It was a laugh, and it caught them both by surprise.

The rough chuckle exploded between them, bursting the intense bubble they’d been trapped in, and Gem startled. Rusty leaned back, scooting away until his back met the shower door again. His head met the glass, and he laughed up at the ceiling at the utter ridiculousness of the situation.

Bewildered at Rusty’s complete one-eighty, Gem smiled hesitantly, pressing several fingers to his mouth before he, too, burst into giggles.

Rusty hugged himself around the middle as he gasped for air and Gem shrieked with laughter.

Together, they laughed until tears streamed down Gem’s cheeks, and Rusty had a cramp in his side.

Returning to Rusty’s side, Gem hunkered down and rested his head on Rusty’s shoulder.

“Oh my gods, I haven’t laughed like that in…” Unable to remember, Rusty trailed off as he coughed out a few last chuckles. “It’s, uh, been a while. ”

Gem hummed and cautiously slipped several arms around Rusty’s so he could squeeze it. “Well, that’s a shame, because you have a really nice laugh.”

Angling his head, Rusty glanced down at Gem, and the Araknis beamed up at him. “Thanks, I guess.”

“You’re so welcome.” Gem lifted his top right hand and tapped the tip of Rusty’s nose. “Boop!”

With a grunt of annoyance, Rusty jerked his head away, bringing another giggle from Gem. “Don’t make it weird.”

“I don’t see how anything about this isn’t weird. But I’m kind of here for it.” Gem snuggled into Rusty’s shoulder. “Plus, you can’t say we’re not friends now. We have a secret together, a big secret. Which pretty much makes us besties.”

“Oh, it does, huh?”

“Mhm, it’s practically a rule of nature.

” Lifting his head, Gem leveled Rusty with a blinding smile and offered up his pinky expectantly.

“Best friends forever, Rus. Sealed with a vow of silence.” Rusty wrinkled his nose, and Gem snickered, wiggling his pinky invitingly.

“Come on, furball, you know you want to.”

With a huff of resignation, Rusty curled his pinky around Gem’s, and the Araknis wriggled in excitement, his leg and arm fur humming in satisfaction. “I have a sinking feeling that I’m going to regret this.”

“Oh babes, regret comes with the territory, but I promise”—Gem booped his nose again—“it’s so worth it.”