Page 96 of Love Me Knot, Part One (Knotty Omegas #1)

DAPHNE

Instead of focusing on the shitshow Sasha dropped in my lap, I’ve been on my hands and knees, drying the floor out as much as I can, cleaning any supplies that got wet and trashing anything that’s unusable.

Lunch comes and goes, my stomach rumbling after moving nonstop for hours.

Takeout is an expense I can’t really afford, since delaying toy and mannequin deliveries means unexpected expenses, but I order it anyway because fuck it.

If anything, I’ve earned something delicious.

I make the order, texting Connor that I ordered for him too.

No response. In fact, I haven’t heard from him at all.

Maybe his meeting ran late.

He’s been working so much that it’s really not a stretch to imagine.

Do I wish he’d called or texted? Yes, but he’s taking time out of his day to help me, and I don’t want to sound ungrateful or bug him for an ETA.

It’s not like I’m going anywhere else. All my plans hinge on getting the store sorted out again.

Deciding my hands are pruned enough, I slink off to my sewing office and start making calls.

Two hours later, I end up eating Connor’s lunch because I’m still starving.

Dez and Nate’s flight hasn’t landed, so I don’t bother reaching out.

Scrolling through the battery of unread texts in Connor and I’s thread, I decide fuck it .

He obviously hasn’t checked his phone, so I’ll call the shop.

The one time I called Pack Parker at work, Jacob came home and berated me for ‘disrespecting his time,’ but the longer we go with no communication, the more worried I get.

That awful feeling from earlier hasn’t gone away despite all the chaos I’ve already dealt with, and it’s sending my instincts spiraling.

Is he okay? Did he get into an accident? Fuck, no one would know to call me if he did. Not until the guys finally land.

My anxiety decides for me, and I dial the number Nate gave me a while ago, teeth digging into my lip as I wait out the rings.

Please be alright. Pleassseeeee be alright.

Finally, someone answers, sounding so stressed it amps up my concern. “Morgan Restorations, this is Missy. How can I help you?”

“Hi, can you connect me to Connor Morgan?”

There’s a slight hesitation as she covers the speaker, asking someone to wait. “Sorry, Connor’s not taking any calls right now.”

For a moment, I nearly crumble with relief. He’s okay.

Dread pools in my stomach at interrupting what’s obviously a busy time, but I beat it back. He told me he’d be here. If he needs to reschedule, that’s fine, but he’s not going to get mad at me for checking in.

Clearing my throat, I try not to sound like I’ve had my entire world upended today. “Sorry, could you tell him it’s his omega? It’s really important.”

“Oh!” Missy pauses, obviously surprised. Did they not tell their employees about me? I mean, I know we only been courting a few months, but that seems like a pretty huge thing to not announce. “Sure. Give me one sec, okay?”

Beep.

I think she tries to put me on hold, but it doesn’t work.

I hear everything on the other end of the line including someone getting loud enough that Missy damn near has to yell to be heard.

She mutters to herself amid the rustle of clothes on the phone receiver, then three loud knocks. “Hey, boss. There’s?—”

“Seriously, Missy? Now is not the time.”

I’ve never heard Connor like that. He’s so angry, I feel a wave of it lick my skin. That feeling in my gut gets louder, nearly screaming now. I shouldn’t have called. He’s going to be so mad. I almost hang up, but something tells me not to. He won’t be upset.

Unlike me, Missy doesn’t wilt. Her voice gets harder. Rougher. “Totally get that, but it’s your omega?—”

“I don’t care. No phone calls, means no fucking calls . I don’t have time to deal with any more inconveniences right now,” he snaps, interrupting her.

My heart sinks, that tender rejection sensitivity breaking down under the venom of his voice.

“Understood, sir. You have a visitor in the lobby.” Missy’s tone is as cold as Connor’s, and I can hear the phone case cracking. He growls, and she cuts him off. “It’s Moore.”

“ Fuck , fine. Send him in, but I don’t want to hear from anyone else for the rest of the day.”

“Fine by me.” The snap of a door closing and Missy’s muttered curses about my alpha take over the line until she remembers me. “Look, I’m sorry, but Mr. Morgan’s not taking any calls right now. I’ll leave a message, though.”

“Thanks, I apprec?—”

The beep cuts me off and I try not to get upset. Something’s obviously going on over there, but it doesn’t feel good to have my alpha deny my call without even checking if I’m okay. I should let him off the hook, except I don’t want to.

M aybe it’s foolish, but Connor promised to be here and I’m counting on him to show up.

Inconvenience or not. He’s the one who promised to help and, he’s the one I need to fulfill it.

I need to know that the man who walked through our neighborhood spilling secrets and swearing to put me first hasn’t forgotten the omega he claims to want.

I need to know that this isn’t another fucking promise he’s going to break because if he does, I’m not sure I’ll be able to move past it.

If his word to me means nothing, then what the fuck do I have to hold on to?

Me

Just called the shop and it seems like you’re busy. If you need to cancel, no big deal. Just let me know.

When there’s no text back, I tell myself he’s obviously in his meeting, but thirty minutes later, I’m already wondering if this is Connor’s way of blowing me off.

If he’s decided that I’m not worth the time he could be putting into his business instead of focusing on this relationship.

That my fears, inability to trust, and needs have finally shattered something I want so badly.

Today is just a bad day, I tell myself, it’s not the end of the world.

But it feels like it. There’s a weight on my chest that I can’t quite get rid of, a doom spiral I can’t pull myself from even though I try. I really do try, but hope feels impossible when the world darkens around you with every blink.

When Dez finally texts that he and Nate have landed, I pretend everything is fine. I don’t ask about Connor, but after another call to his cell sends me to voicemail, I decide to wait for my pack lead to reach out.

I sit there in my destroyed business, eyes unseeing as the light changes from midday brightness to afternoon glow and through it all, my phone stays silent. My store, empty.

No alpha coming to fulfill his promise. Too busy at work to bother texting the omega he says he cares about.

When Nate eventually calls, I can’t bring myself to answer.

If I do, I’ll crack, and I can’t keep doing that for these alphas.

For men in general. I’m so tired of giving them my heart, only to have them return it in pieces.

So tired of being the last on a long list of priorities and being expected to accept it.

Dez and Nate have never made me feel that way, but they’re Connor’s packmates. His brothers. Why should they have to swoop in and fix things again when they aren’t the people breaking shit in the first place?

Especially when I know this is my fault.

I asked too much. I didn’t listen to my instincts or my gut.

My senses dragged me toward Connor, but his actions were bright red flags.

Definite indicators he hasn’t been as interested in this courtship as me.

Anyone can send flowers and things, but the real test is taking time for one another. Getting to know each other.

The last two weeks and our courting date aside, when has Connor done that? Almost never and that’s answer enough.

Eventually, I call an emergency plumber who fixes the pipe for me. On examination, she says the pipe was cut strangely, but that makes sense considering we threatened to report the crew. Yet another thing I did wrong. The swipe of my credit card hurts my pride more than my wallet.

This disappointment is a familiar friend, an aching hole in the center of my being that can never be filled.

It just sits there, waiting to swallow me alive.

I thought the lonely days and stupid little lies were over when I left Pack Parker.

That I could trust the words from Connor’s mouth because his brothers care so deeply for him.

Because they said time and time again as we lay in my nest that he’s a good man. The best man.

Now, I’m not so sure. He promised he wouldn’t let me down, and he did. Another day wasted on an alpha who couldn’t keep their word.

All I want to do is curl up in my nest and sleep until tomorrow comes. Yet, I can’t leave. Can’t give up hope that this was a mistake and my alpha will be here any second.

Passing the time, I look back at every interaction with Connor since we met. His distance after the heat and the cursed dinner. How his version of courting involved something where he didn’t have to be present. How work became his escape to avoid being with me. Whatever he’s been hiding from me.

Reminders pile up, painting a new picture of the man I put my faith in.

One who keeps his own counsel and does the bare minimum to maintain a relationship with the omega his brothers want.

A man who only said he wanted to court when he felt like he’d lose them.

A man who would cut off his own arm if it would make his pack happy.

Connor’s actions aren’t what an alpha courting his scent match should be.

Nate and Dez’s reactions to me, our interactions, are leaps and bounds different.

Genuine. Connected. Caring. I know I shouldn’t compare them, but how can I not when I’ve lived this lie before?

The one where alphas pretend they want me.

Connor’s just better at acting than my exes ever were.

Maybe that’s what hurts the most. He made me want him. Made me crave a future with his pack. Made me believe I could have it with empty platitudes to keep me compliant and under his thumb so he can have his brothers and the life he wants, even if he has to take me with it.

I stay at Nymph until the moon is the only light in the sky, but Connor never calls. Never texts. Never comes.

I’m not surprised. I’m not even disappointed. I’m so fucking numb that I can’t even feel my heart break, the piece with his name on it splintering from the rest.

With one last text, I leave my phone on the desk and lock the doors as I leave.

Funny how a few hours ago, I thought nothing could break me. I thought I could get through anything the world threw at me as long as I had my men. Had Connor.

What a fucking idiot.

The doom spiral steals my thoughts, but I don’t care anymore. Let it take me because I’m so sick of being in my head right now. Wondering if he’s okay then telling myself he doesn’t give a shit about me.

I just want it all to go away.

Stumbling to my car, I make it inside before I realize I’m crying. The winter chill nearly freezes my lashes together, but whatever. It’s just one more thing on top of the shittiest day I’ve had in a while.

Cold air blows through my vents as I pull out of the parking lot and though traffic’s almost nonexistent, I hit the red light anyway. Because of course I do.

For a moment, I hesitate. If I turn left, I go home to the duplex. The pack. Another how do I fix this conversation that ends with no tangible results. If I turn right, it takes me downtown and away from the future I thought I was building.

The light turns green, and I speed down the road. I don’t look back, even as my hands shake and my sobs fill the cab with so much pain, I turn the radio on high just to drown it out.

The duplex is just another skeleton of a dream I never should’ve reached for. There’s nothing for me there anymore.