Page 45 of Love Me Knot, Part One (Knotty Omegas #1)

CONNOR

One thing I’ve learned in the last few days is how hard it is to admit you’ve failed.

I thought I’d figured that out with Shelby, but my fuck up with Daphne is a whole different beast. I want to be better for her.

To fix what I broke. That means owning up to what I did, creating a plan and rebuilding the relationships my actions put strain on.

So, three days after I apologize to Daphne, I text my brothers.

Me

Pack meeting tonight. Be home for dinner, please.

Nate

Daphne too?

Me

Not this time.

Let’s hope this is the last pack meeting without her.

I work from home, splitting my focus between clearing the stale scents out of our space and getting things in place for the future of our business. Things I should’ve done a long time ago.

By the time dinner rolls around, I’m anxious. What if Nate and Dez don’t want to repair the pack? What if they’re sick of my shit and leave? Daphne agreed to court us, but it doesn’t take a genius to see she isn’t set on me. They could whisk her away and there’s nothing I could do.

“I can hear you thinking from here.” I jerk away from rearranging the pizza boxes for the third time to find Dez leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed, brows creased. “You okay?”

Not even remotely. “Where’s Nate?”

“Went to see Daph first.”

“You didn’t want to go?”

Something flickers across Dez’s face. “She needs space right now.”

Not a doubt in my mind that he’s the one who decided that. Daphne seemed perfectly happy with Nate when I stopped by. “Have you asked?—”

Nate slips past us, settling in one of the deck chairs. “What’s this about? I’m missing prime snuggle time.”

Jealousy rises almost as fast as I snuff it out. My instincts can calm the fuck down. I haven’t earned snuggles yet. “I need to apologize.”

“We’re not the ones you should say sorry to,” he says.

“I’ve already spoken to Daphne. She and I are finding our way, but she isn’t the only one I hurt that night. You all deserved better than the man you saw at dinner. You deserved an alpha who leads this pack with grace and kindness. I failed at that and I’m so fucking sorry for it.”

“How do we know you won’t fly off the handle again? We can’t risk Daph, Connor.”

“I know.” My breath rattles in my chest, fingers cold with nerves. “That’s why I’ve made an appointment with a therapist. She had a cancellation, so I’m starting this week.”

Pure silence.

After my divorce, my brothers begged me to go to therapy and I did…for all of two months before I decided it wasn’t working fast enough. Really, I was the one who never gave it a chance.

This time, I have a reason to stick it out. Our future is at risk if I let my past dictate my actions and the idea of losing Daph or my brothers is too terrifying to consider.

So, therapy.

My brothers wait, but when I don’t take my words back, they rush me. Arms pulling me into a massive group hug that breaks my back and heals my soul.

Dez speaks first. “I’m so fucking proud of you, Con.”

“Are you doing this for her or for you?” Nate holds me at arm’s length, and I try not to cringe.

“Both. I want to be better for Daph, but you were right. I need to move on.”

“This is a big change,” Dez says carefully. “Are you ready?”

“I have to be.” Otherwise, there’s no way this is going to work. “I’m going to do this right. The therapist will help me work through my issues and if something comes up, I’ll talk about it with the pack in a calm, respectful manner so we can work through it together . ”

Dez nods, but Nate still looks wary. “I hope this works, but I’m going to reiterate what I said before. I won’t follow a pack lead who treats people like that.”

The stone in my stomach sinks further, remorse threatening to swallow me whole. “I wouldn’t want you to. My goal with therapy is to prove that I won’t hurt any of us. That I can be the pack lead you all need.”

Dez breaks into a small smile and even that feels like a win. “How can we help?”

“Don’t let me fuck this up,” I say hoarsely.

There’s so much I want to do for this pack, for Daphne, but I’m not infallible. Mistakes will happen. I just hope my brothers will be there to pull me back before I make the wrong ones.

Nate claps a hand on my shoulder. “We’ll do our best. For now, let’s eat.”

We dive into the pizza, talking about work. They suggest I hire an assistant for the thirtieth time. I’m not ready for that yet, but I do have a plan to shift some responsibilities off my plate, one the pack agrees with wholeheartedly.

Baby steps.

There’s life stuff to catch up on, with Dez carefully avoiding mentioning our omega and Nate bringing her up every other sentence. It’s cute how enamored he is. Already so devoted.

It’s not until we clear the pizza, and I bring out a massive chocolate chip cookie pie for dessert that they start getting suspicious.

“I wasn’t aware starting therapy required a celebration,” Nate says carefully. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you’re doing it, but this seems a little much.”

“It’s for all of us.”

“What for?” Dez steals a bite while Nate still looks at the dessert like it’s going to explode.

I smile, broad and brilliant. This is what I’ve been waiting to tell them. The real news. “Daphne’s agreed to court us.”

“No. Fucking. Way.” Dez drops his fork, cookie and all, while Nate stares at me, flabbergasted.

“You waited this long to tell us?! Dick move, Con.”

“Wait, she’s courting all of us?” Dez asks.

I hate that he even has to question it, and a surge of protectiveness rushes through me. “Yeah, man. Daphne wants us all.”

I consider telling him that she’d already decided on them without me, but I figure that’s something that should come from her.

“Okay. Good.” Dez looks away. “We have an omega.”

“Hell yeah we do,” Nate crows.

Seeing how happy they are makes me smile. “Now, don’t get mad, but we discussed a pre-bond.”

“What the fuck?!” Nate growls. “She’s not signing that.”

“She already has.”

I pull the papers out of my pocket, slide them over, and wait. Nate losing his shit, I expected. Planned for, even.

Dez going nuts? Not even remotely.

His scent swells around us, thick and dangerous. This is alpha rage in a way I’ve never seen, especially from my most balanced packmate. “We’re not fucking doing this. Not to her.”

He snatches the paper off the table, ripping it with a snarl. It’s a copy, so I’m not concerned about having Daph re-sign, but I’m still thrown.

Shit, Daph.

His instincts are on eliminating the threat to his omega, but she’s right next door. While I know Dez would rather chew his arm off than hurt her, I don’t want this performance to scare her, either.

My voice stays low and steady as I inch closer. “This isn’t a bad thing, Dez. It’s protecting all of us.”

“I don’t need to know everything Daph’s been through to know too many people have dicked her around. We can’t do that too. God, what did she even say when you asked? She must’ve been heartbroken.”

“She brought it up first.”

That stuns them both. Stunned me, too. After Daphne agreed to courting, I was trying to figure out how I’d bring up the pre-bond when she did it herself.

“I don’t want you to be upset, but I’d like to file some paperwork before we go any further.” Daphne wrings her fingers, anxiety bleeding out of her.

“If this is about Shelby ? —”

“It’s not.” She sighs. “I know I mentioned my court case before, but it’s really bad. At this point, I’m not sure I’ll even be able to keep Nymph and once my exes have that, there’s no telling what they’ll come for next. I don’t want you caught in the crossfire of my mess.”

She looks so small, huddled into herself inside this home she rented to escape her past. Guiding her face to my neck is second nature. She hums, wiggling until we’re pressed as tight as possible, soaking in each other’s scent and touch. It’s not sexual having her against me, it’s instinct.

“Thank you for telling me. Winter set up a pre-bond for us in case we courted anyone again. I haven’t looked at it in years, but we can use it as a blueprint. Give me your lawyer’s contact info and I’ll send it. You can make whatever adjustments we need for you to be comfortable.”

“I’ll try not to do much. I want this done sooner rather than later,” Tension bleeds out of Daph and my chest puffs. I did that. I soothed my omega.

“Take whatever time you need. There’s no rush.”

She glances at me, then away almost as fast. “Yes, there is.”

The way Daphne looked haunted and terrified for my pack stuck with me. It got worse when I got the papers back.

“Just read it.” Pulling up the contract on my phone, I hand it over and my brothers hunch together.

The pre-bond was fairly standard, but Daphne added a few clauses throughout that made my brow raise. Physical maintenance would be decided by all parties and permission to enter the omega’s nest would be up to her discretion alone were two of the strangest, but definitely not the worst.

No, that came at the end.

Daphne Barnes reserves the right to leave the courtship/bonding process without incurring any fees or payments to do so.

All her bank accounts will remain separate from Pack Morgan regardless of bonding status and any businesses created by her within the courtship and/or bonding period will remain solely in her name.

“What the fuck did they do to her?” Dez whispers, rubbing a hand over his face. The feral edge of energy eeks away. At his side, Nate looks fucking devastated.

“I don’t know, but this is what she needs from us. Are you okay to sign?” I don’t want to push my brothers into something they aren’t interested in, but this is a requirement for Daph. Without the paperwork, she’s not comfortable courting at all.

“If it gets us our omega, I’ll sign anything.” Nate pulls the phone over and does it before holding it out to Dez. “You in?”

“Obviously.”

I signed earlier, so as soon as Dez scrawls his name, it’s official. “Congratulations. We’re courting Daphne Barnes.”

“Holy shit,” Nate breathes, eyes light in a way they haven’t been in years. “This feels unreal.”

It really does. I hope it never fades.

“Few more things.”

Nate throws up his hands. “Oh my god. What now?”

“Do you have somewhere else you’d like to be?” I ask, brow raised.

“Yes, in the nest with my omega.”

There’s that roaring jealousy again. Not that I think I deserve access to Daphne, but knowing Nate’s crawling in beside her every night has my teeth on edge because I want to be there.

My only saving grace is that Dez is in hell with me. Then again, that’s not really a good thing either.

“Relax, this won’t take long.” I walk them through my plan—which Winter absolutely hates— but my packmates love. “Any luck on courting gifts?”

“Got mine squared away,” Nate says. “Can’t tell you what the big one is, but I’ve been doing nesting supplies too.”

Since she destroyed her nest. We haven’t discussed it, but it hangs like a cloud over me. Another thing to atone for.

“Dez?”

“She fucking loves his drawings,” Nate interrupts, face bright. “Keeps hoarding them. The second I try to peek, she snarls like she’s going to tear a bite out of me.”

Dez grins down at his hands, obviously pleased. “I’m glad. Have a few paintings I’m working on, too. Things I hope will become keepsakes for the family. What about you, Connor?”

“I have no fucking clue,” I admit. That’s the problem.

Dez shifts uncomfortably in his chair. “I love you, but I think this is something you have to figure out yourself.”

Nate nods. “Daph needs to know you thought of her while picking it out.”

They’re so concerned, I have to laugh. “Wasn’t asking for your help. Just wanted to make sure she was taken care of.”

Dez looks relieved. “We should make plans for a pack date soon. Need to make sure we’re spending time with her alone and together.”

My jaw clenches at the clear desire there. He misses her, wants her, and is too afraid to say so.

Fucking Shelby.

“I think I can help with that.” Nate stands, stretching and not so subtly looking over at Daphne’s place. “For now, I’m gonna go. My skin’s crawling.”

I know exactly how he feels and for once, it’s not terrifying. It’s nice to want to spend every second with someone again. “Don’t be late tomorrow and don’t scare her off.”

“Pretty sure that’s impossible,” he replies, rushing for the fence that separates our yards and vaulting over it. Dez and I stare in wonder as he scales the fucking siding.

“Is that normal for him?”

He grunts. “I don’t think you want to know.”

Probably not.

Nate disappears inside a window, and I turn away, noting Dez hasn’t taken his eyes off the house. Yearning, desire, worry. All wrapped up in the man in front of me.

“You good?”

“Fine.” We head inside together, with Dez veering sharply for the stairs. “I’m gonna crash.”

“See you in the morning.” Ignoring the low-grade concern bubbling in the back of my mind, I head straight for my home office. Now that we’re on better terms, I need to find the perfect courting gift for our omega.