Page 32 of Love Me Knot, Part One (Knotty Omegas #1)

I almost do it, mouth open to spill my heart onto the floor, but Pack Parker’s voices echo in my ears, as they so often do now. All the times I begged for more, only to get reprimanded.

It’s not our job to fix your feelings, Daphne. You’re so selfish. Can’t you see we’re busy?

Yet, I persisted. Asked until my tongue went numb from the words.

Rejected over and over until the only solace I found was in myself and what little independence I carved out.

Now here I am, standing in front of an alpha who’s already proven to be a flight risk, wondering if he’ll take my pain away.

What’s the definition of insanity again? Doing the same thing and expecting a different result? That feels pretty apt right now.

“We’re here for you, Daph. Whatever you want to say, I promise we’ll listen.” Connor’s quiet and intense, only relaxing when I offer my hand, gripping it tight.

The touch anchors me in this unexpected way, like he’s stealing some of my pain for himself, and it gives me the courage to whisper part of my truth. “My exes’ phones used to go off at all hours and they’d have to leave to take care of things.”

“Did they leave the room or the house?”

I don’t answer and both alphas growl. Connor looks away, jaw tight and scent sharp. It strikes a nerve, panic rushing forward. Soothe the angry alphas. Fix this.

“It’s fine. They were busy. I know you are too. My heat messed things up.”

Connor’s hand tightens around mine. “Messed what up?”

Dez’s voice is calm, but I feel his anger, a deep well behind me. This is an alpha who doesn’t get upset often, but when he does, he’ll do what it takes to make things right.

“Everything?” He doesn’t seem to like that answer. “I’m just saying, we’re not even together. You don’t deserve that kind of inconvenience.” Especially when I’m so back and forth. Fuck, I’m getting sick of my own feelings, at this point.

This time, both alphas look pissed. Connor shifts, pressing. It’s a predator’s walk, trapping me between them until there’s no way out. Only then does he seem to settle. His head dips and he pauses. Stilling like he doesn’t know how he got there.

I wait. Desperate for him to make the next move. Terrified that he will.

Then his mouth—that fucking mouth —runs gently over the arch of my neck while Dez does the same on the other side. “We chose to help with your heat, angel. Chose to put life off to enjoy the time with you and we don’t regret it.”

“But you shouldn’t have to structure your whole lives. I mean, you moved next door.”

“Happily. If a pack is really interested in courting you, there’s not much they wouldn’t do. Know why?”

I shake my head and Connor nips my skin. “Because it’s the least you deserve.”

Dez hums his agreement. “I was clear that we want you for this pack, Daphne. Was there some miscommunication?”

Pretty sure them moving in was a solid sign they weren’t joking, but that doesn’t mean this is a good idea. My life is a shitshow and who the fuck knows what’s going on with Connor. We’re two stars on a crash course for collision. Our instincts pulling us together, minds yanking us away.

Maybe we’re too broken for anything but sex.

“I don’t want you to make more work for yourself because of me,” I whisper.

Dez’s hand wraps around my throat, gentle as he leans my head back so he can hold my attention, steal my breath.

Brush our lips together. “You said you weren’t ready for more and we respect that, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t treating this like its endgame.

We’re going to prove how far we’ll go for you. ”

Worship. That’s what they offer, and I can’t deny I’ve always wanted it. Even now, when my heart feels raw and terrified, I crave Pack Morgan with a fierceness that promises to eat me alive.

“Okay.” That’s it. One word that encompasses everything. My willingness to let them in, my fear of what they’ll do once I have.

Connor’s purr startles us all. I like the way he looks at me, as if he’s stripped away my artifice and left nothing but the truth behind. My story his for the taking. My soul mirrored within him.

The man’s terrified of me. Terrified of what we could become.

I think that’s why he fights so hard, why he pulls me in and pushes away in moments where preservation wins over instinct. It makes me feel less alone. We’re just two shattered people skating over broken glass in an attempt to be whole with or without the other.

The doorbell rings and the moment breaks.

Thank fuck.

Instead of rushing away like I expect, Connor traces his fingers reverently over my cheek like he did throughout the heat. “I’m going to shower. Get some food and try to relax.” He smiles gently, though it looks a little forced, before turning to Dez. “She eats first.”

“No shit.”

Another look too sweet and concerned to be so fleeting, and Connor’s gone. The stairs hold my attention until Dez squeezes me once, then lets me go. “I’ll get the food.”

My skin fucking crawls as soon as he’s out of view. No matter how many times I remind myself that he’ll be right back, it won’t go away. This looming, terrible loneliness swallows all reason.

I last ten seconds before I’m near sprinting to the front door. The second I’m in my alpha’s orbit, everything eases. His scent and the warmth of his body as I drop my head to his back makes it all better.

“You okay, gorgeous?”

“Lonely,” I admit quietly.

I’m expecting anger, I think. Maybe irritation. Especially since the door’s open and a curious delivery driver peers in like I’m a science experiment.

I am not expecting Dez to purr so loud my teeth nearly rattle, hand rubbing along my arm.

“Missed you too, gorgeous.”

That’s it. No snapping, no growls, no frustration that I couldn’t be alone for five fucking seconds. Just this sweet alpha giving me his presence and the soothing touch I need without complaint.

This is how it’s supposed to be, my instincts whisper.

I think they may be right.

My stomach growls, making us both look down at the mayhem of bags at our feet with a laugh. “Pretty sure it’s going to take forever to sort this out on your own. Might be better with two sets of hands.”

Dez squeezes my hand again, then lets me go. “Grab a bag. I’ll get the rest.”

Ignoring instructions and Dez’s playful growl, I grab a few bags and head for the kitchen.

It looks the same as mine, builder grade boring, as Lacey would call it.

The L-shaped kitchen’s laminate countertops are new and the large window peering into the backyard looks like it’s been cleaned recently.

No sign of the dead insects I found in the corners of my place on move in day.

There’s some kind of scuffle behind me that ends with a sharp growl and the snap of a door. Energy sings through the air as Dez sets the bags down on the counter, hands clenched. My chest tightens as his back moves in a long, deep breath.

“Something wrong?”

He uncoils from his position, and every inch he obliterates steals a little more of my air. “Just someone who doesn’t want to keep their fucking eyes.”

Oh.

Pack Parker never would’ve threatened another man for looking at me. I was their pretty little prize to show off whenever they chose and only on their terms. That Dez would nearly go to blows because someone looked at me wrong…fuck me. These panties are toast.

“Didn’t realize you’re the jealous type,” I tease, pretending I’m not fighting the urge to pin him down right here.

“I’m not jealous, but I won’t put up with some idiot staring at you when he shouldn’t be.” Dez’s thumb traces my smirk, the small touch feeling like so much more. “No one looks at you like that but us.”

Well, alright then.

We work in silence, unpacking the hoard of containers until everything’s in view.

They bought enough food for a football team, getting a little something from every decent restaurant in the immediate area.

Indian, fresh sushi, Mexican, Greek and even Ethiopian that smells rich and ready to get in my mouth.

There’s also the basics like burgers, pasta, and fish and chips.

Safe options. Looks like they thought of everything.

Dez grabs a plate from the small stack near the sink and jerks his chin toward the chaos. “What looks good?”

“Uh, all of it?”

“Then we’ll start with your favorites.”

“I don’t have any.”

He frowns. “You never went out and ate with your parents? Your exes?”

“No.” I don’t want to tell him that takeout doesn’t exist when your parents have a full-time chef. Don’t get me started on Jacob’s fucking diet.

“Fucks’ sake,” Dez mutters. “Are you telling me they never once tried to learn what your favorite foods were?”

I shake my head.

“Your favorite color?”

“Nope.”

“Hobbies?”

I just laugh at that one.

“Damn, Daph.” Dez sets the plate down and clutches me to him, tucking his nose into my hair for an extended inhale. “They never deserved you.”

The scariest thing is, I believe he means it. I just have no idea how to tell him I’m nothing special, even if he makes me wish I was.