Page 40 of Love Me Knot, Part One (Knotty Omegas #1)

I grab a plain sledgehammer, walk to the car, and heft the tool over my head.

I’ll admit, I don’t try very hard on the first swing, barely denting the side panel, but the burn of my muscles feels so good that I do it once more.

My arms vibrate and as soon as I see the grapefruit sized dent in the car, there’s no stopping.

I swing again and again until the world fades to the desire to cause a little more damage. Each hit gets harder, each dent deeper. I lift the sledgehammer higher and take out the side window. Glass rains and with each shard hitting the ground, I feel something release.

Rage at my exes, my parents, and Connor’s treatment bubbles up until I’m grunting with every swing. Until my mind’s screaming drowns out the other noise.

More. I need more.

Crawling onto the hood, I swing for the windshield, knowing I can bash it until my arms fall off and it’ll still be intact. Still hold itself up against the onslaught. It’s a little like me, that windshield. Broken and battered, yet unable to fall apart.

The buzzer comes with a blow that cleaves a side mirror off, sending it flying through the room. Mellie whoops in glee as she kicks the remains of her own destruction around, but I don’t feel happy.

I’m empty and sad.

The sledgehammer drops to the hood, sliding until it hits the floor, but I’m stuck where I am wondering where the hell to go from here. How to fix what’s so deeply broken in me, in my life.

Maverick and Kai stood at the door, watching us collectively lose our shit like proud papas watching their ducklings destroy the world, but she comes for me now. Her energy’s softer than usual as she carefully takes off my face shield and. She runs a hand over my hair before holding it out to me.

Tears clog my throat as Kai helps me down, bundling me close and leading me to the counter where Mellie’s legs swing from her perch. Where Lacey and Maverick are already waiting.

When the workers come in, he pays for another hour and tells them to leave, but no one touches the room. They help me onto the counter next to Mel and when I’m situated, Kai breaks the silence. “Talk.”

I admit everything. The court case, the fact that I may lose Nymph, my heat.

Connor.

Through it all, Lacey holds me to her side, petting my head. Mellie clasps my hand, squeezing when she’s upset. Kai and Maverick wrap their fingers around my calf. My friends sit with me until I’ve word vomited everything.

“Is that it?” Kai asks when I’m done.

“Yes,” I croak. My throat hurts and too much crying in the last day has given me a headache, but I feel better with it all in the open. My problems are still there, but they don’t suffocate me anymore.

“Good. You’re an idiot.”

I whip toward her as Lacey makes a noise. “I don’t think you’re supposed to say that when your friends are sad.”

Kai rolls her eyes. “I wasn’t aware we coddled each other.”

“It’s not coddling if she needs a little extra support.”

“We gave her support. We gave her time. Now she needs an ass kicking.”

“I like my ass where it is,” I interrupt.

“I don’t really care what you want right now.” Kai turns to me, and her eyes pin me to the spot. “Instead of telling us what happened, you avoided us. Took on all your problems alone and shut us out.”

“That’s not fair.”

“Isn’t it? You were so scared we’d disappoint you that you didn’t even give us a chance to react. We’re your friends, Daphne, and you couldn’t trust us to stay by your side. That’s what’s unfair.”

In the years I’ve known Kai Pearce, I’ve never seen her like this. Feelings rage behind her eyes, body trembling as she fights to keep level. That sour-raspberry scent sharpened to something painfully acidic, even beyond the sweetness she uses to hide it.

I’ve hurt her. Insulted her by refusing to trust they’d have my back.

Guilt makes my stomach cramp. “I’m sorry. You invested in the storefront, and I thought you’d be upset at me for losing so much money if the case goes poorly.”

And it will.

“Business is unpredictable, but even if Nymph failed, we would’ve understood.

Things don’t always pan out the way we hope.

You should’ve trusted us.” That tense energy crackles around Kai until Maverick’s hand brushes her side.

She sags into his embrace, looking lost and so fucking small my heart clenches.

“You’re right. I’m so sorry.” A sudden wave of emotion washes over me, and I have to blink hard to stop the tears.

“Oh, shit.” Mellie’s eyes round, and she physically scoots away. “Not it!”

“We know you don’t do emotional regulation if it isn’t in the form of orgasms. Stop looking at Daphne like she’s fucking contagious.

” Lacey scoops me into another hug. Kai and Maverick exchange looks before taking my other two sides and pressing close.

Their grip is just short of painful, but it soothes my need to be surrounded. Captured.

It’s been a long time since I’ve leaned on them like this. It’s beyond overdue.

Kai pulls back first, leveling me with a narrow-eyed glare. “So, tell us about the dick.”

“She means the pack.” Lacey laughs. “Jesus, Kai. Think with something other than your snatch, please.”

“I meant the shitty alpha, not the actual dick.”

“Oh, right.” Lacey turns to me. “So…?”

I don’t want to rehash it again, especially when I’ve already explained. “What he said hurt me.”

“Of course it did,” Mellie scoffs. “You didn’t deserve that. Honestly, I say fuck ‘em. You can start over with another pack.”

But that’s the problem.

“She doesn’t want another pack,” Maverick says softly. I feel his eyes on me even as I refuse to look up. That observant way he watches all of us, using it to make sure we have what we need, is a double-edged sword and right now it’s pointed at my throat. “You’re scent-sympathetic.”

The bomb drops, sucking all the air out of the room. The last secret I kept for myself. Well, about all this.

“No way,” Mellie whispers.

Lacey turns to me, happy tears in her eyes. “Are you really?”

“Yes.”

“That changes nothing.” Kai’s fingers tap restlessly where they lay on Maverick’s thigh as he hops back onto the counter, wrapping his body around hers. “You’ve been down this road before, and it didn’t amount to much.”

The brief estimation of my last relationship stings, but I know she’s not trying to be malicious. Maverick growls into her neck and Kai sighs. “Sorry. I just mean, you don’t have to be with any of them just because it’s a scent match.”

“I know.” I pick at the edge of my worn tee. “Nate and Dez have told Connor they’ll leave if he treats me like that again.”

She looks just as shocked as I was last night. “That’s unexpected.”

“Understatement of the year,” I mumble.

“Ho-ly shit. You like them.”

Lacey rolls her eyes at Mellie’s dramatics. “Obviously she likes them.”

“No, she likes them. You want to court.”

My chin tips up automatically. “I do not. We just met.”

“You can’t hide from me, Daphne Renee Barnes. We’ve been friends since before our first periods. I know you and I know when you want someone. You want them.” Mel nudges me with her shoulder. “Connor thing aside—because fuck him— how do the others make you feel?”

It takes a second to find the right words. “Safe. Heard. Respected.”

Loved.

“It doesn’t matter, though,” I argue. “Even if I wanted to court, I already said no, and only Nate and Dez asked.”

Mel taps her nail against her lip. “Let me get this straight. You said no to courting because you’re a chickenshit, even though these alphas make you feel better than Pack Parker ever did. Did I get that right?”

What the fuck is with her calling me that? “I’m not a chickenshit!”

“You kind of are, but we love you anyway.” Lacey pats my thigh with a wince. Maverick looks away, shoulders shaking.

“Not wanting to get hurt again does not make me a chickenshit,” I growl.

Kai hums. “True but hiding under the guise that you need time to find yourself does. You’ve been separated for almost a year and emotionally gone long before then.

If you really need more time to heal, that’s okay, but I think you’re using it as an excuse to walk away from something that terrifies you. ”

Is she right? I was mentally out of the relationship with Pack Parker long before I ever had the courage to leave. “Why is it a bad thing to protect myself from more pain?”

“Because life is scary, babe. If you run from everything that could bring you pain, you’ll never find something that brings you joy.

You deserve to be loved and adored, Daph.

Seems like these guys might be the ones to make it happen.

” Maverick has her tucked beneath his chin, holding them up while Kai leans into his touch, reverent and a little awed.

It’s the closest she’s ever come to admitting what they are to each other, and it means the world that she’s doing it for me.

“Even Connor?” I ask.

Mellie growls under her breath. “That’s up to you. Can you forgive him for what he said and start fresh?”

“I don’t know.”

Lacey leans her head against my shoulder. “Not to seem like I’m on his side because I’m very Team Daphne, but I think you should talk to him. At the very least, clear the air so you can move on with the others.”

Kai nods her agreement. “Considering your new roommate, it’s obvious Nate and Dez aren’t going to back down about courting you. Might as well figure out where the last Morgan stands before deciding. Maybe you’ll figure out where you do too.”

I chew on my cuticle and Mellie pulls my hands into her lap, holding my attention. “Forget everything else. Connor, the dickholes before him. You said it yourself; this connection is unreal. Would you be able to live with walking away?”

“No.” Saying it out loud feels like a weight off my chest, even if I’ve been thinking it since we met.

“I didn’t think so.” Mel brushes a curl behind my ear. “You owe it to the Daphne who spent years being someone’s last priority to put yourself and your needs first. And before you argue about needing space, healing isn’t linear, babe. You can reach for happiness while working through your issues.”

“She’s right, Daph,” Lacey says. “If you do this, if you try , you’ll never have to wonder if you’re worth the effort because this pack will show you. Or they won’t, and they won’t be your problem anymore.”

“What if I can’t forgive Connor?” It’s the thing that’s been circling my brain all day. He fucking hurt me. Cut me down without a chance to explain.

“True bravery is doing the hard thing despite being scared shitless,” Kai says.

“Besides, only you can decide who to court. If that means no Connor, that’s his cross to bear.” Mellie grins sharply. “Should he have a problem with that, I’ve got enough contacts to make his death look like an accident, and so does Maverick.”

“I know nothing,” Mav says automatically, warmth and friendly affection obvious in his gaze. “But I’ll be here for you no matter what.”

“You would try, wouldn’t you?” I ask him. The girls are great, but sometimes I need my big brother’s opinion.

“If I were in your shoes? Yeah.” He stares down at Kai, eyes brushing her features so lovingly, my throat tightens. “I’ve found that most of the time, the risk is worth the reward.”

I don’t want to look back at this opportunity and wish I hadn’t wasted it.

I don’t want to walk away from two men who make me feel so good.

Not in the way Pack Parker used to, lovebombing me then disappearing when they were tired.

This is true, down to the bones affection. Appreciation that I exist.

I genuinely can’t imagine Dez or Nate walking away when I need them, ignoring me for days, treating me like a burden. But I can see them loving me. Supporting my dreams and my desire to find myself. Cheering me on and claiming me in front of the world.

The more I consider it, the more I think these men are a gift. The universe’s penance for a shitty first marriage. A chance to reconcile with the idea of love. Of pack.

“I’m going to be so busy,” I groan. Between the alphas and the storefront, I’m not sure how I’ll manage.

“Could be a good thing,” Lacey says. “You can see how they’ll support you in times of crisis.”

Kai rolls her eyes. “Plus, alphas like taking care of their omegas. Makes them hard or something.”

Maverick laughs under his breath and pulls her in closer. “Pretty sure that’s just a guy thing, sweetheart.”

“So, what’s the first step?” Lacey asks.

Ugh. “I need to talk to Connor.”

One way or another, we’ll have this out. If I want his packmates, I may have to suffer through having him too.