Page 24 of Love Me Knot, Part One (Knotty Omegas #1)

CONNOR

I lied.

Even as every instinct begs me to turn around and go back to my omega, I don’t know if I can.

Heat helping scared me before, but it wasn’t real until we stepped into the suite at Revelry. My chest tightened at the idea of crawling into that low bed, palms slick as I struggled to breathe through the thick pheromones. To think beyond my fear and toward Daphne.

Beautiful, sweet Daphne, who needs me. Needs us.

But all I could see was another nest. Another omega who used me until I couldn’t move. Until I had to hide the bruises under my eyes and the damage she caused. Memories I wish I could forget.

So, I ran out of the suite. Down the stairs and into the parking lot with the scent of sugar coating my nose. Nate followed. He keeps a steady stream of bullshit commentary going as he pulls bags out of the stuffed trunk while I panic beside him.

But the second the trunk snaps closed, a switch flips.

I can’t fucking do this.

The driver’s door opens easily and I’m already leaning in when he shoots me a glare I feel in my fucking toes. “What are you doing?”

Running, obviously. “Going to the store. Want to pick up some of those electrolyte drinks.”

“They have them here,” Nate counters. “It was on the grocery sheet.”

Fuck, he’s right. “What if she doesn’t like the flavor?”

“Then we call down for something else.”

My chest hurts and my vision’s so blurry I can barely tell where we are, let alone drive, but it doesn’t matter. I’ll fucking walk if it means getting away from here.

“You can’t sneak away, Con. Whatever’s going on, you can’t do this to Daphne when she’s so fragile.”

I don’t know this woman. Didn’t ask to have another scent-sympathetic omega dropped in my lap. Screw him and the universe for making her my problem. “You can’t force me to fuck her when I don’t want to.”

Another lie. I want Daphne. Want her in my bones, in my blood. This is the type of all-consuming desire that makes it hard to function. Not the rut, but something deeper. Something more.

But I’m not good for her, and she’s definitely not good for me.

“I didn’t say you should, but if you’re backing out, tell her. Daph deserves to hear it from you.” Nate traps me with a narrowed gaze that says I’m not hiding half as well as I hoped.

Frustration morphs to anger, and I cling to it. Anything is better than the terror threatening to swallow me whole. “It’s a trip to the store, not a flight out of town, and she’s not our fucking girlfriend.”

“You’re deflecting, Connor. Stop pretending you’re fine. Acknowledge your feelings, and?—”

“I don’t need a fucking therapist,” I snap. Can’t he leave this alone?

“Yes, you do.”

“Fuck you, Nate.” The words rip from my throat like they have their own will. He has no clue what happened in that nest with Shelby. No idea what I went through to keep her happy.

How can he ask me to do this when he doesn’t know anything ?

“No, fuck you. That woman up there is this entire pack’s chance at love. Get your shit together before you hurt her, Con.”

He points to the building, body tight with tension.

It’s killing him to be out here with me, knowing his omega is in heat.

Yet he’s supporting me the only way he knows how.

What’s worse, I’m struggling too. My muscles scream every moment I keep us away from Daphne.

The air smells wrong without her scent and I dip my head into the car just to have it again.

“I’m trying.”

Nate stalks forward, jabbing his finger into my chest. “You’re not. You’re hiding something and instead of leaning on us, you’re letting it break you.”

“That’s rich coming from the man who hid in the fucking garage for years.”

“Why do you think I’m saying this, Con? Because I know how easy it is to hide from your issues and the problems it can cause. I don’t want you to deal with that, and I definitely don’t want to add more damage on Daphne’s shoulders. Can’t you see she’s scared?”

Nate’s voice breaks, and my heart goes with it. He cares so deeply about her, this woman who went catatonic at the idea of being denied a scent mark. Who vacillates between comfortable and jumpy. He cares so much already that I know her leaving will wreck him in ways nothing else could.

“It doesn’t take a brain surgeon to see she’s had some terrible heats, but we can change that. Give her good memories to outweigh them. Because even though she’s terrified of doing this, she feels safe with us, Connor. Tell me you see what a gift this is.”

I do, and I want to help. I just can’t. “You don’t understand what it’s going to be like. How demanding she’ll be.”

Going days on minimal food and water. A week without sleep. Muscles shaking, form trembling, yet still having to perform. To knot and sate and fuck until the body gives out.

“Then tell me,” Nate pleads. “Whatever you’re holding, let me take some.”

I should, just to make him face the truth I already know. But then I remember the way he looked with Daphne. Light. Laughing. Like my brother had reappeared for a moment for the first time in a decade.

When I say nothing, he sighs, pulling me into a hug I desperately need. “Ignore the bullshit for a minute. Do you want to help Daphne through her heat?”

Deep down, beyond the fear, I know I’ll regret walking away. Besides, I want to be in that nest. Want to see her break apart for me. For my pack.

Am I seriously considering reliving my worst days for this woman?

“Yes.” Maneuvering out of Nate’s grasp, I reach for one of the bags on the ground, trying to ignore the cold sweat creeping down my spine. Nate’s smile is blinding and that alone is worth whatever comes later. “You’re going to have to help me.”

“Tell me what to do.”

We stand in the parking lot, making plans to ensure everyone’s taken care of.

Food shifts and shower duties and sectioned off sleep time.

Through it all, Nate promises he and Dez can tag in whenever I need, and if there’s ever a point that I can’t handle it, they’ll take over altogether.

Knowing my pack is here to help smooths the sharpest edges of my terror.

When we’re done, we head back upstairs, every step echoing in my ears.

I’ll be fine. Everything is okay.

Yet the moment we step inside the suite, the fear returns, heavy and painful in my veins. I follow Nate’s advice, focusing on the groceries, the walls. Anything but the omega staring at me from the nest. Her scent so thick in the air, I’m dizzy with it.

I thought that would be the hardest part, but it grounds me.

Daphne smells like the cotton candy I got at hockey games and fairs with my brothers.

The sugary sweetness of easy days and long, joyful nights.

Of a time when all we had were dreams of the future, wishes we had no way of making come true.

Every breath winds me up and steadies me at the same time. Roots me in the present.

Daphne.

Eventually, there’s nothing else to do and I know it’s time. Disappearing in the middle of a heat is straight up neglect, so if I stay any longer, I’m staying through the whole thing.

One look at the nest has me shrinking away. The messy sheets, Daphne’s pleasure tossed hair, the smell of cum and sex. For a moment, it’s all too much. Too familiar, even if the scents have changed.

Then her lips move.

Connor.

My name is a silent benediction that I want to hear her say. Need to hear her scream.

A step forward and my head empties, fears stilled because no one’s ever looked at me the way Daphne does. Like she can see everything I’m hiding, like she has scars that match my own. How could I not want to touch her when she watches me like I’m a revelation?

I knew I was staying when I walked in the door. Not for the sex, but because even the idea of leaving feels like shoving knives through my chest. Maybe it’s the pheromones, or that Daphne is the most potent scent match I’ve ever had, but I can’t walk away when she needs me. Not anymore.

For however long her heat lasts, this omega is mine to cherish, to pleasure, to enjoy. My issues have no place in this suite, in this nest. Until Daphne’s through her heat, fear will have to wait.

She’s absolutely wrecked beneath Dez. Chest flushed and bare, nipples deep pink and peaked.

Her pussy cleaned of slick and ready for me.

My cock gets hard so fast it hurts to kneel beside them, but I do.

I let myself trace her skin, feel the pleasure when she does it back.

It’s like we can’t be this close without touching, like every stroke binds us.

“Look what a mess you are, angel.”

“You haven’t been here.” Daph’s in full-on omega pout. Watery eyes, fat bottom lip and a frown to top all frowns.

Omegas in heat are all instinct and desire. That she noticed I was gone means she wanted me here. Needed me, even. I’m alpha enough to be happy she missed me, though I don’t like leaving her wanting.

Brushing those incredible curls back, I know we need to tie them up soon or she’ll have one hell of a wash day after this. “Had to get things sorted, but I’m here now.”

“Are you staying?”

I hate how Daphne asks it. Quiet, eyes downcast like she doesn’t want to see me when I answer. Like she’s used to being disappointed. Nate’s question echoes in my mind.

Can’t you see she’s scared?

I can. Knowing that Daphne’s fighting demons too seals it for me. If we do this, we’ll fight them together, rewriting history with every caress, every breath. I think I’ll enjoy replacing the bad memories with ones of her.

“Yeah, angel. I’m staying.”

“The nest doesn’t smell right.” She whispers like she’s scared I’ll be upset, and I could kick myself for making her worry about my reactions.

“We can change that right now.”

Daphne steals each item as I strip, tucking a shirt here, a sock there, only pausing when she realizes I’m naked. Her eyes travel from my toes to my face and when ours catch, she’s wearing this glazed look that I’d like to see again.

“You’re beautiful.” It slips from my mouth without thought and I don’t even care. If we only have a short time together, I’m going to wear the words out.

“I want to lick those tattoos.” Daphne’s tongue darts out, wetting her mouth like she’s going to do it right now. My cock jumps, desperate to be inside her already. She’s frozen with indecision, though. Instincts desperate to fix her space and get knotted at the same time.

That could be fun later.

“Finish your nest first, angel. We’ll be here when you’re ready.”

Daph gives me the sweetest smile, then digs for Dez’s things on the floor. Nate strips without being told until she’s got a pile of clothes and the bags of fabric beside her. She sniffs at them, purring softly. He reaches to help, and she snaps her teeth.

Nate pulls back with a yelp, though I know she didn’t get him.

“No touching,” I say quietly.

“Yeah, I figured that out.”

After bullying Dez off the bed, Daph stares at us. One long, incredible purr rumbling through her. An omega satisfied with what she sees. Knowing she’s compatible and finds us attractive is doing wild things to my head, but fear is a patient monster, creeping in at the happiest of moments.

This is the calm before the storm, it tells me. She’s going to bleed you dry to make herself happy.

Daphne stops, head tilting with predator instinct. An omega sensing a problem with her alpha. “Where did you go?”

“Right here.”

After another long minute, she points one round nail at my feet. “Stay.”

“Not moving,” Dez promises, but she waits until I nod to turn her back on us. She’s trusting me at my word. She’s trusting me not to bail.

No matter what my fear says, I can’t let her down.