Page 61 of Longing for Liberty

FIFTY

I was shaking, but for the first time in so many years, this was the good kind of nerves.

“Now, remember,” Mom said to us in the back seat. “Asher was so young when we left. And though we’ve always shown him pictures, he might be…” She tilted her head side to side, looking for the right word.

“We understand,” I said, looking at Jeremy, who nodded. “We’ll be like strangers at first.”

She gave me a gentle smile of relief and patted my leg. “I don’t think Rainey remembers either, but she’s cognizant of the idea of you, and the pictures seem to trigger that feel for her, so she’ll be open. That one’s a spitfire, I tell ya.”

I laughed, and it sounded watery. “Always has been.”

“She’s quite the tomboy,” Mom told us. “Hope you don’t mind. She skateboards and plays soccer like a fiend, and she cusses in Italian. She asked to get her hair cut short.”

“We don’t care about that,” I assured her. In fact, it made me smile to imagine. For a moment, I wondered about Rebecca and Stanley. Were they okay? What was happening in the State?

“All three of them are fluent in Italian,” Mom went on.

“Though I still struggle with it. And Summer…whew…what a little queen bee she is.” Mom shook her head, a look of pride in her eyes.

“So mature. She watches the news every day, learning as much as she can about politics and keeping an eye on the State, which, of course it’s been impossible to get any real news out of there.

I still can’t believe—” Her voice cracked as she got choked up, and we clasped hands.

“I still can’t believe everything that happened.

After they closed the borders and all the bombs were happening…

. Every single day, we hoped to hear that the borders were open again.

And then when Aidan got that call from Jeremy two days ago, oh, Lord have mercy.

I never cried so hard in my life. I even thanked Mother Mary. ”

“Are you Catholic now?” I asked, amused.

“I’m all the things now, honey.”

That made us laugh again. Jeremy rubbed my knee as I lay my head on my mom’s shoulder.

“Is all the world really at war?” I asked. “They told us Big Ben burned down and all this other horrible stuff.”

“No.” Jeremy was the one to answer. “It was all a lie to make us think the outside world was a wreck.”

We were all quiet as six years of lies were outed. And even though I knew better than to believe any of it, I’d always wondered.

“Did you tell them your news?” Mom asked Aidan, who drove with his own mom in the passenger seat. She held Jeremy’s hand at her shoulder.

“Ah…no. Yeah, me and Lena didn’t work out. She left me for some Italian Stallion as soon as we got here?—”

“Not as soon ,” his mom corrected him. “Maybe six months after we got here.”

Aidan rolled his eyes. “So, anyways, I got me an Eye-talian lady now named Sofia. Sofia’s like me, she doesn’t want kids, so it’s better.”

Jeremy and I looked at each other, and his face mirrored the strange, freaked-out way I felt.

“What?” Mom asked. “She’s a nice lady.”

“It’s not that,” I said. “And I’m sorry about Lena. It’s just…” I shook my head, and Jeremy spoke up.

“The idea of anyone cheating and getting divorced, not having kids, and talking about it so freely is really strange now. All of that is taboo in the State.”

The other three glanced around at each other until Aidan spoke. “What the hell did they do to y’all in there?”

“Man.” Jeremy lifted a hand from my leg to rub his face. “We have so much to tell you.”

* * *

Aidan slowed as he pulled into a neighborhood of brick and stone row houses. I leaned forward, my hand pressed to my chest as my eyes wildly scanned. We turned a corner and saw three kids, much taller than I imagined, standing on the walkway with a dark-haired woman.

“Oh my God!” I yelled, tears already coming. “Stop! Let me out!”

“Hold on just a dang second.” Before Aidan could pull into a spot or fully stop the car, Jeremy wrenched his door open, and the two of us tumbled out, running. I was sobbing at Summer’s grown-up face, equally in tears, and I nearly ran her over as I grabbed her and wrapped my arms around her.

“Mommy.”

And just like my mom and I had, we cried, clinging. “My sweet girl.”

“Don’t leave me again.”

“Never,” I cried. “Oh, Summer. I’m so sorry.” I finally released her and looked at her face, touching her cheeks, then her hair as she let out a small laugh. “You have braces!” I’d missed so much.

“You’re pretty.” It wasn’t Summer. I looked next to us where Rainey stood with short, light brown hair, her dad’s big brown eyes, and her signature pointy chin.

“Rain.” I let Summer go, already seeing Jeremy coming for her, and embraced Rainey. She let me hold her and didn’t cry or let go until I did. Then she studied my face.

“I remember now.” She smiled and I smiled back, tears still streaming.

“I can’t wait to watch you play soccer and ride your skateboard.”

“Calcio,” she corrected me. “Not soccer.” It sounded like cal-chee-oh. I repeated it, and she nodded, giving me the ‘a-okay’ sign with her hand.

I gasped when I saw Asher out of the corner of my eye. Almost eight years old now. He had such a serious face for a little boy, still with that shock of red hair and light freckles. Rainey held out a hand to beckon him over.

“Ashy is a little shy, but you have to know where to tickle him.”

She reached out and dug her fingers into his waist, making him flop to the side and yell something in Italian, to which she yelled back in Italian, both of them laughing.

I watched in awe. My children, speaking a language I didn’t know, pointing out ticklish spots that I had never learned, and my heart was suddenly so full it was overflowing.

Yes, I had missed so much, but they were still kids—my kids—and we had the rest of our lives to make up for the past six years.

I wanted this. I wanted to learn Italian as fast as possible. I wanted to learn every single ticklish spot that any of them had now, and hear exactly what cuss words Rainey preferred to say, and have comfortably quiet moments with my shy boy.

He was watching me now. I waved and smiled. “Hi, Asher. I know this is all very strange, but I’m so excited to be here with you. I heard you like chess?”

Jeremy crouched down beside me, taking a knee and grinning at Asher, who looked back and forth between us.

“I used to play a little chess,” Jeremy said. “Do you think you can beat me?”

Asher nodded, self-assured, and we both laughed. “You’re probably right,” Jeremy said. “Can you show me your set?”

Asher led his daddy into the house, and I swiped another tear from my cheek as I stood.

“I am Sofia.” The dark-haired woman stood before me.

“Oh, hello. I’m Libby.” I reached out a hand, but she took me by the shoulders and kissed the air on one side of my face, then the other.

Ah, I’d have to get used to that. Aidan put an arm around her shoulder and led her into the house.

Everyone else spilled inside, except my mom, who stood in the doorway.

“Are you coming, honey?”

“Yeah. One minute.”

She seemed to understand, giving me one last smile and nod before leaving me to stand there.

I stared at the gray brick building that housed the people I loved.

It stood halfway around the world from the house where I’d grown up.

The language was different. I sniffed the air, which even smelled different.

But this was home. Not because of where I was, but because of who I was with.

Yes, we were immigrants here, refugees even. I wasn’t foolish or na?ve enough to think things would be perfect here, but I wasn’t seeking perfection. After all we’d been through, I only wanted one thing for me and the people I loved—the same thing everyone in the world wanted. To be free.

My loud, soaring phoenix finally came in for a landing on my shoulder, closing its colorful wings and quietly surveying all that we’d fought for. There was still much to be done.

But for now, it was time to live.

* * *

Inside, Jeremy looked around and asked, “Where’s Pops?

” It was then that we learned his father had passed two years ago.

We were still mourning hours later after midnight and poring over every detail when Summer sat up straight on the couch, her eyes bulging at her phone screen.

Asher had fallen asleep curled up beside her, and I’d covered him with a blanket.

“Turn on the news! Something is happening in the State!”

Jeremy and I clasped hands, sharing an anxious look before turning to the footage.

A graying British news reporter stood with a microphone. Behind him were buildings on fire, massive smoke plumes rising.

“You will never believe where I am. For the first time in six years, we have breached the boundaries of what was once the United States of America, now known as the State. I was brought in through Mexico by a group calling themselves resistance members. What you see behind me is the city center of Community One, which some say was the capital of the State.” I gasped.

“The three tallest buildings where government officials resided were all bombed during the quiet of the night. According to the resistance, President Samuel Roan and Vice President Walinger are presumed dead.”

I let out a small scream as our whole room cheered, Jeremy leaping to his feet to punch the air. He grasped my hand and held me as I simultaneously cried and laughed, overcome by the euphoria of the news.

“Wait, shh,” Aidan called, waving at all of us and pointing at the screen.