Page 56 of Longing for Liberty
FORTY-FIVE
Over six years ago…
We took two cars to the Baltimore airport: Jeremy’s truck and his brother Aidan’s SUV. It was an absolute madhouse trying to get to the departures area, a wall of vehicles three rows deep, everyone honking.
“We’re not going to be able to get up there,” Jeremy muttered, trying to peer around the stopped vehicles in front of us. “It’ll take forever.”
Asher fussed from his car seat in the middle, arching his back and squirming.
“Mommy, I think Ashy’s hungwy.” Rainey patted his belly, which made him yell louder.
“He’s tired, honey. It’s past his naptime.” I felt sorry for my mom, who was about to take all three of them on an airplane.
“What if people don’t like us?” Summer asked, continuing her line of questions she’d been asking for the past twenty-four hours. “Because we don’t speak Italian?”
“You’ll learn it quickly,” Jeremy assured her. “You’re all smart cookies.”
I smiled at her reassuringly, and she gave me one of her forced smiles back. I felt the worry radiating off her and was trying so hard to send positive energy back.
“We’ll be there a week after you,” I promised. “We just have to take care of a few more things here.”
She gave me a small nod as Jeremy’s phone rang and he answered it. Aidan’s voice came out of the overhead speakers.
“This is fucking crazy, bro?—”
“You’re on speaker,” Jeremy reminded him.
“Ooh!” Rainey squealed. “Dat’s a bad word, Uncy!”
“Sorry,” Aidan said. “But seriously, we’re going to miss our flight if we wait on this.”
“Do you want to get out here and walk the rest of the way?” Jeremy asked.
“I think we should.”
The sidewalk started about fifty yards ahead, so they could easily make it.
“Let’s do it,” I said.
We jumped out of our vehicles. Jeremy began quickly unloading the luggage as I got the kids out. My mom bustled over from Aidan’s car and took Asher from my arms. He wailed and reached for me. I took his hand and kissed his face, pulling away as my heart broke.
“It’s okay,” I said brightly. “Grammy’s got you. Soon, you’ll be napping and having so much fun on the airplane!” This did not console him. He didn’t normally have separation anxiety, but he could probably sense all of the emotions happening.
“Don’t worry about us,” my mom said, pulling me in for a hard hug. “Sell as many of my things as you can, if you can.”
I nodded. “I’ll see you soon.”
An airplane took off overhead, low enough to drown out all sound for a moment. Rainey jumped up and down as if trying to touch it.
I bent and grabbed her around the waist, pulling her close and squeezing her.
“I love you so much, Rai-rai.”
She pulled back and took my face in her chubby hands, squishing my cheeks together to pucker my lips, and she giggled. “Love you, Mama.” I kissed her.
Summer was standing by the truck watching us with her knobby knees and stuffed backpack on both shoulders, tears silently streaming down her face.
“Oh, baby.” I took her in my arms and couldn’t hold back my tears anymore either. “One week, okay? Be brave. This will be our best adventure ever.”
She sniffled and nodded against my shoulder.
“Let’s go!” Aidan hollered.
I gave quick hugs to Aidan, his wife, and both of Jeremy’s parents, then one last hug to my mom and each of the kids before they dashed between cars, vans, and trucks, laden with giant rolling suitcases to get to the terminal.
Other people decided to take our lead and began jumping out of their vehicles as well. What a clusterfuck.
Jeremy took my shoulders and forced me to look at him as I began breathing quickly.
“It’s all right,” he said in a soothing voice. “You take my truck, and I’ll get Aidan’s. I’ll see you back at home.”
“I have a bad feeling.” The words came out shaky.
I’d had the bad feeling since the day before—a disgusting, sharp stick in my gut every time I thought about separating from the kids.
Everything inside of me screamed that I should go with them.
Even Jeremy had urged it. But I didn’t want him to have to do everything alone.
And I knew the kids would be fine with my mom and his family.
My brain knew that, but my spirit sensed something.
A car honked as traffic crept forward. “It’s all going to be okay,” he assured me. “Let’s get home.”
I nodded and rushed to the truck to get us out of the way.
The kids were fine.
Everything was fine.
Italy was just a precaution because of some rumors Aidan had heard.
We’d be gone a year, tops. We’d liquidate as many assets as we could today and tomorrow, get our cash from the bank, and when America was back on its feet again, we’d come home.
If needed, we could put our house up for sale from abroad. This was just my anxiety acting up.
Everything is fine.