Page 17 of Longing for Liberty
TEN
STATE NEWS: VESSEL OF INTERNATIONAL TERRORISTS STOPPED AND ELIMINATED AT EASTERN PORT!
We sat in silence that night at the table, our meager dinners barely touched.
It killed me that Jeremy wasn’t eating. He needed the sustenance even more than me.
But I understood. I couldn’t imagine what horrors he was making up in his mind at that moment.
Part of me wanted more than anything to tell him every detail of what had happened—we’d always been open about everything, big and small—nothing was off limits.
The other part of me knew that this information would rip at his soul.
He was my protector…and he couldn’t protect me from this.
Both of his hands were in fists: one on the table and one resting on his bouncing knee.
In his eyes was a faraway look. It had been a common look of his in the early days of the takeover, but I hadn’t seen it recently.
It was a look that scared me because he seemed to be scheming…
and thoughts like that were too dangerous to have.
“Let’s take our walk,” I said softly, putting my hand over his fist on the table.
He didn’t pull away. His eyes finally cleared as he looked at me, and he loosened his clenched hand to take my fingers into his.
We left our plates and walked out. The heavy silence in the house seemed to lift as we walked outside.
We greeted others. I wondered how many of them were also forcing their smiles.
“The apples are ready,” Jeremy said, sounding robotic. “Did you see the community memo?”
“Oh,” I said, not having looked at my phone all day. “No. Is it harvest time?” I couldn’t believe it was almost fall.
“Yes, this weekend,” he told me. “Let’s see what we’ve got.”
In each harvest, women came out to pick while the men counted and divided for each household. I loved harvest time, but I couldn’t bring myself to feel any excitement.
We walked into the trees, which were, indeed, heavy with fruit.
Jeremy stared at a tree and said under his breath, “He’s taken an interest in you?”
My stomach turned. “I…think so.”
“What can we do?”
I brushed a bug from a stem and whispered, “I asked to be moved, but she said no.”
His jaw flexed, and he grasped the back of his neck. “Damn it, Lib…I can’t…I don’t?—”
“I know. We have to stay calm,” I urged him, knowing it was ironic that I was the one saying that. The only time I seemed to be able to stay calm was when it was my turn to be strong for someone else.
“ Fuck .” He grasped both hands behind his head and paced.
I peered out into the garden to make sure nobody was paying attention and no drones were nearby. Jeremy’s body language could gain attention, and people were nosier than ever. And then a buzzing sound came from afar, behind the nearest building.
“Drop your arms,” I begged him, and he complied immediately, clearing his throat and getting control of himself just as the drone sped around the corner. I pointed to a perfect-looking apple as the humming machine hovered overhead, and Jeremy gave a nod. Finally, it sped away.
I took Jeremy’s hand and gave it a tug to make him look at me. We stood facing each other, and I saw the moisture in his eyes.
“I’ll be okay,” I told him. “It won’t be forever. He’ll eventually get bored.”
Those must have been the wrong words to use, because Jeremy’s hands gripped my waist hard, and he looked skyward as a growl of rage rumbled from deep in his throat.
“Shh, babe, please.” My eyes were watering now, too. “We have to be strong.”
I took the back of his head in both of my hands and made him look at me.
His eyes were lit from within, and his gaze scoured my face, taking me in like he’d never seen me before.
And then he kissed me. Hard. Jeremy never kissed me like this.
My belly immediately went up in flames as I kissed him back, pulling his head closer and pressing my hips to his, feeling him grow against me. We were both breathing hard.
“Take me home,” I whispered against his lips.
He took my hand and led me all the way, his strides purposeful.
The moment we were inside with the door shut behind us, we were kissing against the wall, pushing clothing up and off, down and off, our hands grasping.
He stripped me completely naked and picked me up, something he hadn’t done since before we had kids, and I wrapped my legs around his waist, kissing him as he walked us into the living room.
“Sit down,” I told him.
He dropped back onto the sofa with me still astride, and I rode him, grinding our bodies together, our foreheads touching as I felt myself coming undone.
The curtainless window was at my back, and we seemed to be racing against time, knowing a forceman or drone could pass through the dry, grassy area at any moment.
I didn’t have to tell Jeremy when I was going to climax.
He could read me. And like the hundreds of times before, we came together, but this time, we desperately clung to each other during and afterward, my arms around his shoulders.
Tears streamed down my face as my husband whispered, barely audible, into my ear.
“ You’re mine .”
“Yes,” I whispered back.
And I clung tighter.