Page 30 of Longing for Liberty
TWENTY-ONE
STATE NEWS: INTERNATIONAL PEACE DISCUSSIONS FAIL AS FORMER ALLIES REFUSE TO ADMIT WRONGDOING!
I felt more scared than usual as I walked with Rebecca the next evening along the back of the garden. Two other couples were also walking, and a State forceman patrolled the sidewalks on the other side.
“How are you doing?” Rebecca asked me. “Mentally and emotionally? Be honest.”
I thought about how the day began with me leaning against the kitchen counter to receive the plug, which I was told I’d be wearing every day as I worked with no panties.
He’d eased it in like a man who had all the time in the world.
And then, later, as he came out of the shower and motioned me to bend over the bed, where he’d pulled up my skirt and entered me slowly from behind, one finger pushing on the plug with the same unhurried rhythm he used to fuck me.
And how I’d come so hard my knees buckled, and I saw white spots.
“I’m fine,” I said quietly. I felt her watching me and wondered if she could see it all written plainly on my face. I needed to change the subject. “I saw his gun,” I whispered. “When he went to shower…he left it on his bedside table.”
For a moment, Rebecca gawked at me and then looked away and blinked. “He left it out?”
“I know,” I said. “It’s crazy, right? How much he trusts me? Or maybe he’s trying to test me? I don’t know.”
“Please tell me you didn’t touch it.”
“No!” I whispered. “But I could read it when I was making his bed. At the top it says ‘Glock 21’ and then ‘Austria’ and ’45 Auto’.”
Rebecca nodded. “A Glock 21 SF. He carries a 45.”
“Okay.” I had no idea what any of that meant. “So, can you tell me where the safety is? Just in case, you know, there’s ever an emergency or something.” My insides shook just thinking about it.
“There’s not a safety on those. At least not like you’re thinking.” Rebecca grimaced at her feet. “Jeremy is not going to like this.”
“I won’t do anything stupid,” I promised.
“I know.” She sighed and looked at me. “Okay, listen up.”
I paid close attention as she detailed verbally everything from the bullet cartridge in the handle, to sliding the top back to put a round in the chamber, and how the trigger will stick out further to show it’s cocked.
“But you’re kind of small, so you have to brace yourself when you pull the trigger. It’ll kick and disorient you if you’re not prepared.”
“Thank you, Rebecca.” I already felt a sense of relief and safety knowing I could possibly protect myself if I got my hands on it.
“Yeah,” she said.
We lifted our heads as one of the couples across the way let out a peal of laughter—a sound we didn’t often hear. It tickled something inside of me, making me yearn for freedom.
“Oh, look.” Rebecca pointed to where Stanley and Jeremy were walking our way. “What does he have?”
It looked like Jeremy was carrying the thin blanket we always sat on outside. And Stanley had a paper bag that he held carefully. His smile was too endearing, showing his giddiness about something.
“Don’t be mad,” he said to Rebecca as he got closer, and Jeremy snapped the blanket out for us.
She cocked her head. “You played the lottery again?”
“I won again,” he said with a grin, pulling another gorgeous dessert out—this one a slice of cheesecake with what appeared to be blueberry sauce.
“Oh, wow,” Rebecca breathed. “Okay, fine. I’m not mad.”
That made us all laugh, and we sat on different corners of the blanket.
Stanley was passing out forks when Jeremy went stiff, and my whole body tightened with alertness.
“State Force are walking over,” he warned. “Stay calm.”
I didn’t look up, trying to act normal, but I saw the two men in my peripheral vision. Stanley quickly pushed the paper bag over, partially covering his prize before he sat up straight.
They stopped at the edge of our blanket, their hard footsteps sending up a puff of dust in the dried patch.
“What do we have here?” the younger guy asked.
“Just enjoying this beautiful evening,” Jeremy said in his soothing country accent. “Thank you for patrolling.”
The older guy nodded down at the bag. “What have you got?”
“Oh, that?” Jeremy said. “Just a little lottery winnings.”
“Really?” The younger guy perked up. “I’ve been wanting to see if it was worth it.
” He bent, making Rebecca and Stanley lean back, and he pushed the bag out of the way.
“Look at that!” He whistled and grinned at the other Forceman.
My stomach knotted at their excessive attention. “Mind if I taste it?”
I saw panic in Stanley’s eyes, and then he blinked and went blank. He wasn’t good at hiding emotions, so I spoke up.
“Here you go.” I held up my fork. “Please have a taste.”
Not only did he take the fork, but he picked up the entire parchment paper with the slice on it and took a huge bite. Stanley’s Adam’s apple bobbed with a nervous swallow, and he dropped his eyes when the enforcer made a loud sound of approval.
“My turn.” The older forceman took the fork and cake to try for himself. “Oh, man. That is good.” The two men looked at one another and back down at us before the older one nodded at us. “We’ll consider this a gift.”
Jeremy raised a hand and nodded in his easy-going way. “Take care, fellas.”
The two men walked away with the cheesecake and Stanley’s fork, leaving the four of us there to smile at one another and breathe through our feelings as the sun set.