Page 50 of Longing for Liberty

FORTY

STATE NEWS: THE STATE CELEbrATES LOWEST FOOD-BORNE ILLNESS RATE IN HISTORY!

A sense of peace and power remained over me in the days that I worked and listened, and in the evenings as I passed along information to Kathy. I took note of every time he wore his gun, every time he removed it, and where he set it. I never once saw him remove the magazine of bullets.

It was always loaded.

So many times, when he was in the shower, I glanced at the gun on his side table and knew I could do it. But Amos, alone, was easily replaceable. It had to be all three or nothing. Losing them would send the order into a scramble, especially now that one of their primary elders was dead.

If I wanted to take down the top three, I needed to patiently wait for an opportunity like the last one when they were all together in their relaxed element, not a single State forceman in sight.

I didn’t think for a moment that I would survive it.

If Amos were armed, others would be too.

But the top three would never expect a maid, a woman, to have the audacity to try something.

It had to be fast and in close contact so I wouldn’t miss.

One.

Two.

Three.

And I would probably keep shooting for good measure.

Two bullets in each man. And then? It was impossible to imagine how the scenario would play out afterward without knowing how many people would be present and how many in the close vicinity.

Perhaps I could make it as far as the elevators.

All I knew for certain was that I would either be shot or caught and publicly executed.

My heart ached for Jeremy. I left just a sliver of my heart open and available to feel for him, but otherwise it was closed for business.

“What’s on your mind?” Kathy asked, drawing me out of my reverie as we walked. It was a beautiful early fall evening. Quite a few people were out walking.

“Nothing at all,” I said, feeling content as I smiled for the drone that passed.

Kathy waited a long moment before making a harumph sound. “You’re scheming.”

“Am I that transparent?” I asked.

Kathy chuckled. “Ah, sweetheart, I don’t know how you’ve made it this long.”

I grinned at this, because Jeremy always said I had a terrible poker face.

“Tell me,” she said.

“I’m just…” We smiled and nodded at a couple passing by. “Readying myself to cause a little chaos.”

“Libby…”

“Don’t worry.”

“Your position is very valuable?—”

“And I want to make the most of it.”

Only the minor purse of her lips showed she was displeased.

I went on. “If this happens as I plan, please tell Jeremy I’ve missed him, and that I was ready.”

Kathy roughly wiped her nose and sniffed. “D’you know what the underground calls you?”

The resistance had a name for me? I shook my head.

“Lady Liberty.”

I felt a pang of worry. “They know my name?”

“No.” Again with her chuckle. “That’s just what they named you. Funny, right?”

I smiled to myself. If I’d been given a moniker, the information on the thumb drive must have been very helpful. Knowing that filled me with satisfied warmth.

“You’re no fool,” Kathy said. “But please be careful.”

“I will. I promise. And thank you for, well, everything. For believing in me.”

Kathy sighed and looked up at the sky, but I saw that her eyes were watering. She said nothing else, but I wondered about who she’d lost. And then I imagined them reunited when all hell broke loose.

* * *

My opportunity raised its head one week later as Amos and I lay in bed. He was on his back, one hand behind his head and one cradling me to him.

“This is what it’s supposed to feel like,” he murmured. “Marriage.”

Is that what he felt? His servant in his bed, longing for her actual husband while his wife was off living her best life of faux freedom, albeit a forced-pregnancy life, and his kids were away at academy? Sure.

“Mm-hm,” I hummed against his chest.

My anger and indignation had maxed out so many times that my meter was now broken.

Amos’s phone rang, startling me, and he rubbed my arm when I jumped. “This can’t be good.” He reached over and picked up his phone, groaning. “It’s Sam.” He answered. “It’s nearly eleven. Is there another security breach?”

“Hello to you too.” I could hear his voice clearly from my near vicinity, and I hoped Amos couldn’t feel the chill that prickled my skin.

“What is it?” Amos grumbled.

“I’m having a get-together to celebrate our promotions in the Order.”

My heart kicked in its cage, and Amos’s arm tightened around me. “Elder Wright is barely in the ground.”

“He would want us to be grateful for our positions. You’re second now, Fitzy. Doesn’t that feel good?”

“Unlike you, I still work every single day, so I’ve been a little too preoccupied to pat myself on the back.”

Roan laughed at this. “I’ve been telling you to delegate some of your responsibilities. It’s not my fault if you’re overloaded. Sounds like you need to unwind. My place. Saturday night.”

“Sammy, please?—”

“ Be there , Fitz.” Roan’s voice was firm. “And bring your little lady.”

Amos’s whole body stiffened. “Fine.”

He hung up and set the phone down hard, letting out a rattled sigh.

“You okay?” I asked, my voice sounding breathy as I begged my heart to settle.

“I’m fine,” he said gruffly. “We’re to attend another…party at the Presidential Penthouse.”

Only this time, Wright wouldn’t be there to stop it. I would.

I forced myself to converse, saying, “You don’t sound very excited.”

“I’m not. Now that Sam is the head elder, I can’t go against his wishes, even small, silly requests. We’ll make an appearance and then slip out.”

Damn. I’ll be on a time crunch.

“Okay,” I said, gently rubbing his chest to try to calm him. Or me. I wasn’t sure. “I’m sure it will be fine.” I kissed him and snuggled down, my mind racing.

Amos’s annoyance didn’t keep him up for long.

As he lightly snored, I plotted, allowing my imagination to run through scenario after scenario of me pulling Amos’s gun, grasping the top and sliding it back firmly to cock it, and then bam, bam, bam .

All three of them had to be standing close. I could not hesitate. I had to be fast.

I could only hope it wouldn’t be a wasted effort.

Hopefully, the resistance was at a point where it was able to act when chaos erupted.

At the very least, they could use the disturbance in leadership command to cause confusion and gain ground.

I would tell Kathy to tell them to be ready, and hopefully word would spread quickly. We had three days.

Killing was nothing to be proud of in my eyes, even in times of war. But I knew it was sometimes necessary. These men had done horrific things to get where they were, and it was time to return the favor. In fact, being shot unsuspectingly and dying quickly was a mercy they didn’t deserve.

I closed my eyes and watched my phoenix flying in my mind’s eye straight into the darkness.