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STAR

“Star.”

“Vana.” I arched a brow at her as she loomed in the doorway, fidgeting with her hands. “Thank you for all the cat shit by the way. I didn’t even know kittens needed that much crap.”

“You’re welcome,” she mumbled, peering over my shoulder.

I peered over my shoulder too. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing!” she declared brightly. Then, her eyes narrowed. “What the hell are you wearing?”

I looked down at my usual skinny jeans, shitkickers, wife beater, and leather jacket. “Clothes?”

“You need to dress the part.”

“What part?”

“The part of Conor O’Donnelly’s fiancée.”

My nose crinkled. “Will you do it for me? The shopping and…”

Her smile turned devious. “Gladly.”

Ah, crap. That smile meant I was getting new bras too. Fuck, and I’d just gotten this one how I liked it.

As if she knew what I was thinking, she asked, “Bra size?”

I grumbled out my measurements. On her front stoop no less.

“Come in.”

“You were holding me hostage before you got me to agree to that?”

“ You made the suggestion. Not me.”

Bullshit. “What’s going on?” I countered, knowing her too well to trust her on word alone.

“Nothing!” She peered around me once again and saw Kat with a Switch in her hand, headphones tucked firmly on her head as she played a game. “Why’s she wearing headphones?”

I shrugged. “She likes the game noises. I hate them so she wears them.”

Vana made a ‘huh’ sound then mumbled, “Okay, I guess it doesn’t matter if you drop an F-bomb then.”

“Why would I?” I demanded, on high alert now.

“Because it’s time you met my best friend. She’ll help me with your atrocious wardrobe.”

I ignored that. “Oh. I already know Jennifer Valentini.”

“How do you know her?”

“Duh. I know everyone.”

“You’re such a bullshitter,” she sniped as she finally dragged me into her apartment.

“I mean, I try.” I peered around the open-plan living area. “This is massive. Why do you need more space?”

“I don’t. Aidan doesn’t like sharing. Plus, I think it’s a dude thing. God forbid Conor has more square feet than him.”

My lips twitched. “Seriously?”

“I think so. I mean, he didn’t come out and say it was a dick-measuring contest but I read between the lines. Plus…” She gulped. “I think it’s his response to me maybe being pregnant.”

“Maybe? It’s a kind of yes or no situation, Sav.”

“I did some tests.”

I smiled. “How many?”

“Six.”

“Were they all positive?”

“No. Three were positive and three were negative.”

I had to laugh. “Only you would break the laws of false positives, Vana. When are you going to the doctor?”

“I’m not. I don’t want to know. If I know, I’ll worry, and if I worry, I’ll think about how unsuitable I am to be a mom.”

“You’re right. You’re pretty unsuitable.”

“Hey!”

Chuckling, I grabbed her arm and hauled her into a hug. “I’m joking. I’m the most unsuitable mom in the world and Katina’s alive, isn’t she? You don’t have to be technically good at being a mom to be good technically at being a mom.”

“Remind me not to come to you again for support,” she groused, but her arms were like tentacles around me as she pretty much strangled me in her hug. Her goddamn cat was just as bad, winding itself around my feet so I was surrounded.

“Have you told anyone else?”

“No,” she whispered. “I don’t dare. They might get their hopes up and I couldn’t deal with disappointing them.”

“Surprised you told Aidan.”

“He was the one who asked me why I hadn’t gotten my period.”

“You didn’t figure that out yourself?”

“I don’t need to. He keeps better tabs on me than any app?—”

I held up a hand. “What you two get up to is on you.”

Though she pouted, I could see the fragile combination of fear, anxiety, and hope in her gaze. Whether she wanted to admit it to herself or not, she was excited.

“Want me to come to the doctor with you?”

She released a shaky breath. “I forgot how good you are in a crisis.”

“This is hardly a crisis, Sav. This is a nice thing. Right?” I patted her arm.

Vana grabbed my hand and squeezed my fingers. “You’re not going to run off again, are you?”

My lips quirked. “If I did, I think Conor would come after me so I wouldn’t be away for long.”

She sighed. “You’re right. He’s the same kind of whacko as you.”

It amused me that she found that reassuring.

“Anyway, you going to introduce me to Jennifer or what?”

“She’s in the bedroom. She’s got a kid too. Saverina—” She paused to preen, “—drinks a lot.”

“Named after you? Christ, did they want her to be a Diva?”

Vana huffed. “Like you’re not a diva too.”

“You’re a capitalized Diva. I’m not.” I snagged Kat by the shoulder and steered her inside the living room with me. As the door closed, I asked, “Why are you so nervous now that you’ve told me about maybe being pregnant?”

“I’m not nervous,” she said nervously, hands still toying with one another as she glanced at her watch.

“You so are. What have you done?” I demanded, directing Kat over to a table.

When she took a seat, she scanned her surroundings, shrugged, then said, “Hi, Aunt Savvie. Oh, Star, I forgot to tell you. I gave her that laptop you wanted me to.”

My lips twitched as I shrugged off her words. “Better late than never told. Thanks, brat.”

She hummed and returned to her game. Last night hadn’t been good—two nightmares—so I wasn’t going to be hard on her about not being sociable.

“She means last year, right? At the Sinners’ BBQ?”

I smirked at Vana. “Yeah, she means last year. Unless she’s given you another laptop since then?”

“Nah.” Savannah blew out a breath but her anxiety was too high for her to pepper me with more questions. Handy, really.

I didn’t want her to know that I’d given Conor access to a worm via that laptop I’d smuggled off the Sinners’ compound through her.

“What’s with you?” I demanded.

“IinvitedPaddyheretoo,” she said in a rush.

“Paddy? As in Conor’s uncle? Good at clearing up the corpses of Catholic perverts? You invited him here?”

“Yeah. That one. He’s Jen’s biological dad.”

Because that wasn't news to me, I hummed. “Did she ask you to arrange this meeting?”

“No.”

I groaned. “So why did you?”

“Because they met at our wedding—which you didn’t attend, so fuck you?—”

“You know I hate weddings.”

“—and it was strained and it made me feel sad. Paddy’s a granddad now as well. It seemed… mean to exclude?—”

“That was none of your business, Savannah,” I said with a sigh. “I mean, she knew who her father was and she didn’t prompt you to make an introduction.”

She bit her lip. “That’s why I’m nervous.”

“Because you fucked up?”

“Because it seemed like a great idea at the time and now I’m thinking it isn’t,” she mumbled as she dragged me into the kitchen with her. “Why didn’t I keep my nose out of this?”

“You can’t help yourself. It’s the journalist in you.” I huffed. “Want me to pretend that I brought him with me?”

Her eyes lit up. Then immediately dimmed. “I couldn’t ask that of you.”

“I offered. I got no skin in this game.”

“I want her to like you.”

The doorbell buzzed.

Savannah released a high, fretful noise that was totally unlike her. I bit the bullet, taking the decision out of her hands by electing to be the responsible adult in this situation.

“Leave it with me,” I drawled, heading into the living room. I moved over to Kat and tousled her hair just because I knew it’d piss her off.

She growled under her breath. “You spent ages making it look like this.”

“I made it, I can break it,” I teased.

Her glower would have curdled milk. “I bet Conor can do French braids better than you.”

“What makes you think that? The guy’s never been around little girls in his life. He’s from a family of boys, remember?”

“He gave me his cell number so I’m going to ask him if he can do it.”

I grinned at how proud she sounded. “Do you know how many people have that number?”

“He told me that only his family had it.” Her smile turned shy. “That means I’m his family now, doesn’t it?”

“It does.” I tugged on her ponytail. “Ask him about the braids in person. Always corner people face-to-face when you want them to do something for you that they won’t like. Life lesson there, kiddo.

“Plus, we want him to do them for when you start taking part in competitions. He can be the one who handles that. It’ll stop you caterwauling at me when the braid drops out when you’re doing a jump.”

Her gaze flickered as if she were making a mental note of my life lesson, then the door buzzed again. “Who’s that?”

“Conor’s godfather.”

“More family!”

“You’ve got it coming out of your ears now, haven’t you?”

Her smile turned un-Katina-ly shy. “ We do, don’t we?”

Her correction had me squeezing her shoulder. “We do.” Ducking down to bump my lips to the crown of her head, I mumbled, “I’m glad you’re happy about it, sweetheart.”

“I just want them to like me.”

“Why wouldn’t they?”

“Lyra doesn’t.”

The doorbell rang for the third time. Impatient, much?

“One minute!” I called out. To her, I said, “She doesn’t like that you talk so much, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t like you . It means talking is hard for her. It means she’s shy. It means that it’s not as easy for her to formulate words as it is for you.

“Her challenges are not your challenges,” I reminded her softly.

Though she bit her lip, she repeated, “Her challenges are not my challenges. It’s okay, Star. You can get the door.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. I’m sure.”

Another squeeze to her shoulder was my parting farewell, but her sweaty fingers caught my hand, though, and she patted it.

“Thank you, Star.”

I smirked at her. “For being sick?”

Her nose crinkled. “You can’t call yourself that.”

“Sure, I can. I’m the sickest thing in New York.”

Her laughter warmed my heart but it was only compounded when she said, “Sometimes, you can be.”

Chucking her under the chin, I headed over to the door, feeling a little better after last night’s nightmares, and tugged it open to reveal the washed-up version of Aidan Sr.

“Padraig,” I greeted smoothly.

He frowned. “Did I get the wrong apartment?”

“You’re not on the top floor,” I said blandly. “This is Aidan and Savannah’s apartment. You’re here by my invitation though.”

“By your invitation? Savannah?—”

“Savannah asked you for me,” I lied.

“She did? Why?”

I hitched a shoulder. “Wanted to get to know you. You’re close to Conor, aren’t you?”

“Getting there,” he agreed. “We were closer before I left.”

“A nearly three-decade-long absence doesn’t make for enduring friendships,” I pointed out.

“Is this going to be about you getting in my face?”

“About abandoning him? Nah.” My lips curved, though, as I thought about the shit he was going to get dealt from Jennifer Valentini.

I stepped back so he could enter the apartment, and he glanced around the space then asked, “Where’s Savannah?”

“In the kitchen.”

“Savvie! I swear she just said her first word!” Jennifer shrieked from the other side of the apartment.

Savannah came skidding out of the kitchen. “No way! Was it ‘Savvie?’”

“No. Just because you’ve been training her to say that didn’t mean she was going to say it,” Jennifer retorted, but she was laughing as she swept out of the hall into the open-plan space.

Her happy gaze darted around the room, then it faded as she saw the guy standing at my side.

She clutched at the baby in her arms who was propped against a burgeoning stomach that told me Luciu Valentini, her husband, had a breeding kink, then like a wall had come down between her and the rest of us, she tipped up her chin. “I have to go and tell Luc. He’ll be pissed that he missed her first word.”

“You don’t have to leave,” Savannah warbled.

“Did you arrange this?” she hissed at the woman who was practically my sister.

“He’s here for me,” I said calmly.

“For you?” Jennifer frowned. “Who are you?”

“She’s Conor’s girlfriend, Jen,” Savannah rasped, her hands pleating together.

God, didn’t she know that was a dead giveaway?

I understood she wanted to mend fences here, but you didn’t get that by burning bridges.

Huffing, I muttered, “I’m his fiancée, actually.”

Jennifer’s brows lifted. “He proposed?”

I waggled my hand. “Got a ring and everything.” Swaggering deeper into the room, I settled my ass on the couch and was immediately joined by the cat. “Come on, Paddy.” I flicked the other woman a look. “Tell me something about Conor that’ll embarrass him later. Something that only a godfather would know.”

Paddy’s chuckle was wary, but he peered between the three women in the room and, seeming to sense that I was his best chance of survival, edged toward me and planted himself at my side.

I knew the whole story about how Jennifer was Paddy’s kid with some two-buck whore, and when he’d done his disappearing act, he’d left his daughter in a lurch.

Savannah claimed Paddy didn’t know about Jennifer, but who the fuck knew with that generation of O’Donnellys?

I wasn’t sure why, but Kat had removed her headphones and was studying us with interest as Paddy reasoned, “I don’t go around embarrassing the boys unless they deserve it.”

That made me snort. “Katina, you won’t be so lucky. I’ll tell your boyfriends about the embarrassing shit you do.”

“Hey! That’s not fair.”

I winked at her. “More reason to behave like an angel at all times.”

“Where’s the fun in that?”

The twinkle in her eyes made me glad she still needed adult supervision.

Behind us, I heard Savannah and Jennifer whispering furiously at each other. I didn’t know if they were angry words, but when Jennifer didn’t storm out, I figured that was phase one of Savannah’s plan underway.

“I won’t use whatever you tell me as ammunition in a fight,” I vowed.

Paddy’s brows rose. “Ammunition in a fight? Jesus, poor Kid. He’s got himself a handful with you.”

I showed him my teeth. “I’m sure that aligns with what you’ve heard about me.”

“True, it does.” He cleared his throat, and his chest rattled—he was a smoker. “Okay, well, Conor wasn’t the brother with the most embarrassing stories.”

Interest pricked, I asked, “Which was?”

“Aidan.”

That was all he had to say for Savannah to swoop in. “Oh?”

Paddy flashed another glance between us, then, cautiously, he stared at his daughter. Her focus was entirely on her baby, but she was there. That had to be enough.

“We knew Aidan was into girls because they kept popping up in the apartment they were living in back then. His da was proud, of course. Especially as Declan was into art?—”

My scowl made an instant appearance. “What is it with this family and assuming that art can trigger homosexuality?” To Kat, I stated, “Kat, that’s utter bull so don’t you let anyone tell you otherwise. Sexuality is simple for some and complicated for others. The only thing I ever want from you is to be yourself. Whether you wanna kiss Harry or Harriet, I don’t care. Understood?”

In response, she just snorted.

“She’s right, Katina,” Savannah assured her. “The older O’Donnellys have antiquated beliefs on this subject.”

“I already know I like boys.”

To be fair, I’d known too. What, with her crushes. But that didn’t mean she wasn’t free to be with whomever the fuck she wanted. I’d fought in wars to defend my people’s rights. That was the whole goddamn point of freedom.

“The magazines say my boy is bisexual.”

“And you got a problem with that?” I demanded.

“Why is he in magazines?” Kat inquired.

“He’s a hockey player.”

Her eyes rounded. “He’s famous?” She cut Savannah a look. “More famous than Camden?”

“Camden who?” Paddy queried.

“You don’t know who Camden is?!” she shrieked.

Savannah chuckled. “He’s a singer, Paddy.”

“Oh. I never heard of him. Liam’s popular.”

“You don’t know him well?”

Even Kat quieted at Jennifer’s question.

Maybe she’d overheard more of our conversations than I’d anticipated, but none of us spoke as Paddy rumbled, “Been blessed with two kids but was never blessed with the sense to be a good father. Not sure if it’s something that’s a case of ‘better late than never’ but…”

When his words waned, Jennifer didn’t rush in, just mumbled, “You shouldn’t have children unless you know you can bring them into the world with love.” She pressed a kiss to her daughter’s forehead.

“That’s a very wise sentiment,” Paddy rasped, twisting to study her over his shoulder. “I wish I’d been so wise when I was your age.”

“I do too,” she agreed.

He cleared his throat. “That’s a beautiful baby you’ve got there.”

“Her name’s Saverina.”

“I-I heard you say that she’s spoken her first word?”

Jennifer’s smile was more open this time, warmer. “She did.”

“What was it?” I asked when no one else seemed brave enough to broach the topic.

The smile turned lopsided as she cut her sperm donor a quick look before staring down at the floor. “Dada.”

Savannah broke the ice by covering Saverina in kisses, which the baby received with happy giggles. I just took in Padraig’s pink cheeks, wondered how deep his regret was at that moment, and vowed to myself that I’d never, ever let Katina down by disappearing on her.

She’d forgiven me because I’d somehow managed to raise her to have faith in me, but if I did it again, that fragile balance would be forever ruptured.

Nothing was more important than family. That was a core value Conor and I shared, even if it was only now that I registered how much of a priority it was to me too.