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CONOR

As I lay in bed, Star cuddled into my side, my gaze fixed on the ceiling, I listened to the silence of the apartment.

With Katina still in school, waiting to be picked up by my driver, Craig, the place was how it used to be.

Dead.

There was no denying that Star brought life to the penthouse. That she brought life to me too.

A few weeks ago, I’d defended her to Hunter DeLaurentiis, and now, I was in the position of defending her to myself.

She wasn’t an easy person to love, but when she loved, there was no denying that you were welcomed into a unique club with incredibly few members.

That didn’t make it any easier to accept what she was willing to do to achieve her goals, but the only option was not to be with her anymore and that wasn’t going to happen.

She was mine. Even the bullshit moves she was capable of, as hard and as difficult as they were, didn’t change that.

“I can feel you thinking. You’re not going to rage quit me, are you?”

Her whisper had me tilting my head down as I contemplated her pensive expression.

In their time, my brothers had done worse shit than Star did on the regular, but I had never questioned my love for them.

Why was I questioning my love for her?

That was a dumb question because I wasn’t.

I’d had a hair-trigger reaction and that wasn’t on her—it was on me.

Needing to erase her worry, I whispered the only thing that mattered, “I love you.”

I couldn’t imagine that it was easy for Aoife to love Finn after the lies he’d told her. I couldn’t believe that Ma had found it easy to forgive Da when his actions led to her kidnapping and gang rape.

So, no, love didn’t have to be easy.

She released a soft breath. “I love you too. Is that enough?”

“I’m allowed to disapprove. Just like you can disapprove of the stunts that I pull. We have to work together to get over the bumps in the road.”

“We do,” she whispered.

“No rage-quitting allowed.”

“I’ve never been in a long-term relationship before where forever is the end goal.”

“You think I have?” I let my fingers move in a circle, the tips brushing her skin, soothing us both I hoped. “This is new for us. We’re bound to fuck up.”

She swallowed. “I don’t want you to leave either.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“That means you have to eat right.”

I stilled. “What?”

“You have to eat right. I don’t want you to die.”

Because I was at a loss, I asked, “What makes you think I’m going to die? I mean, everyone dies, but…” Flustered, I rumbled, “What do you mean?”

She peeped at me. “When I tell you that I love you, what I’m saying is, ‘Please, don’t die.’”

My brow furrowed as I took in her unusually open expression.

She meant it.

She goddamn meant it.

“I wish I could promise you that I won’t,” I said eventually, finding it hard to uncover the words that would make all this better when that was impossible…

I’d die one day.

That was the only certainty in my world—taxes sure as fuck weren’t.

She burrowed her face against my chest, and her fingers somehow found the tattoo on my arm where she traced the letters as she whispered, “I know you must think I’m crazy.”

“I mean, a little? But people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.”

That had her snickering.

She didn’t reply though, just stayed quiet as I stroked my hand over her hair.

This softer side I got to see was a privilege few were afforded, I knew. And the fact that she wanted so many people dead apart from me was, I figured, a compliment.

Out of nowhere, two Tasmanian devils raced into the room, bringing with them meows as Ren bounced onto the bed and used it as a trampoline for his ultimate port of call.

Groaning, she turned her face into my chest. “Is he sitting in the light fixture?”

“He is.” I peered at the menace who stared back at me unapologetically.

As for Stimpy, he settled against Star’s back and started purring.

“How is this our life?” she whispered, sounding as bewildered as I felt.

But my lips curved. “It’s good, though, isn’t it?”

“You can say that after… today?”

The fact that I was smiling said it all.

Nothing would ever be normal with Star.

Thank fuck for that.

“I can say that after today,” I confirmed softly. “Every part of you, from the soldier to the mother, is the love of my life, Star. I didn’t forget that today and I won’t ever forget that. Understood?”

She swallowed. “Understood.”

Which was when all hell broke loose as Ren decided he needed to break shit up a little.

And he dive-bombed onto me from the light fixture.

Straight on my junk.