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STAR

WISHING ON A STAR - ROSE ROYCE

With Savannah shoving me forward like she was trying to get me to walk off a gangplank, I nearly fell into the hotel room.

“Go on, get in there,” she groused, shoving me extra hard when I wriggled away from her.

“I’m in, I’m in,” I argued with a huff, straightening before immediately groaning at the sight ahead of me.

House parties with the MC were one thing. Afternoon fucking tea with my sisters-in-law was a whole other ball of wax.

At the abruptness of our entry, conversation drifted to a halt.

Awkwardly waving at them, I slunk over to the table where they were seated with those stupid, multitiered plates with cakes, scones, and sandwiches in front of them.

I’d have killed for a steak.

Doing this with Tryn Bowen was bad enough. Savannah just wanted to torture me.

“I wondered when you’d show your face,” Aoife drawled, her tone amused as she poured coffee into a china cup. “You look like you could use this.”

I plunked my ass down in one of the tiny seats. “Yeah, I need it. Savannah dragged me out of my apartment and brought me here. She’s more terrifying than Al Qaeda.”

Savannah shot me a smug smile. “I’ve been taking lessons from Aidan.”

“They’re working.” I yawned. “Okay, so you can carry on talking. Just pretend I’m not here.”

Aela stared at me over Cameron’s head. “Not likely. This isn’t school, you know? Attendance isn’t mandatory.”

Ouch .

Fuck me for being contrary, but Aela was growing on me more and more.

“Shut up, Aela,” Savannah sniped. “These gatherings are a ritual.”

“I thought it was a chance to bitch about our husbands. Apparently, I didn’t get the memo.”

I tipped my cup at her. “I’m here for the tea even if I’m drinking coffee.”

Aela studied me with wary eyes—she didn’t trust me yet.

Smart woman.

I found it interesting when Aoife reached over with a set of silver tongs and started loading up a dish which she proceeded to set in front of me.

Huh.

I wasn’t sure why it surprised me that she was in charge here, but surprise me it did.

“Aela’s right, Star. It isn’t mandatory to come to afternoon tea if you’re not interested. Saturday and Sunday dinner is enough familial obligation for one week for any sane woman.”

Call me contradictory but... “It’s not like it’s every week.”

Aoife chuckled. “I feel as if this is your idea of purgatory.”

“I wouldn’t go that far, but it’s definitely not my usual scene. Doesn’t mean it’s bad, just means it’s different.” The glance I shot Aela was loaded with my defiance.

“That reminds me. I need to thank you, actually, Star,” Inessa said, somewhat timidly.

I got the feeling I scared her.

My lips quirked up in a sharkish grin—loving Conor hadn’t made me soft. “Why?”

“Eoghan was happy after he came back from your poker game.”

“Glad to hear it. He won’t always be happy though,” I warned. “Sometimes, he might be angry. Sometimes, he might be sad. Hell, sometimes, he might not even want to come.”

“I know, but this seems healthier than what he was doing before.”

Camille’s snort was delicate. “Burying his troubles and pretending they didn’t exist while glowering at anyone in the vicinity who smiles at you?”

Inessa’s lips twitched. “I don’t mind that last part. I took him to a club with me and Lisandra two weeks ago. We didn’t get hit on once. She complained but I loved it.

“Dancing with a two-feet wide barrier around you makes it so much easier. And less stinky. What is it with men who don’t wear deodorant, huh?”

“They’re lower forms of humanity,” Savannah drawled, pinkie extended as she took a sip of her coffee.

Me being me, I snagged her finger in a mockery of a pinkie promise. “Since when do you drink coffee like you’re the queen?”

“It’s the china,” Savannah said unapologetically. “It gives off different vibes than the ‘My husband is a serial killer’ mug Aela got me.”

“I didn’t get you anything. I made that for you, hag.”

Savannah bared her teeth in a smile. “I can feel the love across the table.”

“My heart’s doing something right now, and it’s not beating for you.” Aela softened it with a wink though.

“What’s this about Eoghan?” Aoife queried carefully, the only one who hadn’t gotten distracted from the original theme of the conversation.

“Star started this little get-together for her ex-soldier buddies. It’s a poker game and I whooped soldier ass,” Savannah explained.

“Lies,” I retorted.

“Why the hell were you there if it was for soldiers she served with?” Aela demanded.

“Because Star plays poker like a card shark?—”

“And you don’t?” I retorted.

“Exactly. It’s not often I get to cut my teeth on a game with you.”

“Who won?”

Savannah pouted at Camille. “She did, but I beat everyone else. Eoghan included.”

I didn’t bother bragging. “I’ll teach you all I know, young grasshopper.”

Savannah flipped me the bird. “You’re kindness incarnate.”

“I know. It’s a weakness, really.”

Aoife chuckled. “You two are more like sisters than you know.”

“Oh, we know it,” Savannah retorted. “No one else would put up with her ass if we weren’t related.”

“I feel this,” Inessa teased, elbowing Camille in the side.

“Shut up, brat,” was the older sister’s response.

“Mostly, after that poker game, I’m just left reeling from how hot everyone is there. If I didn’t have Aidan…” Savannah whistled. “I’m not sure who I’d have hit on.”

“Let’s see, the Consigliere’s bodyguard, an assassin, a sniper, your sister, or your brother-in-law,” I mocked, grabbing a red-velvet cupcake with buttercream and eating it in one bite.

Seriously, how small did they make this shit?

“He wouldn’t be my brother-in-law if I wasn’t with Aidan, now would he?”

“Hey, he’s mine!” Inessa groused.

“And you’re not a skank who steals other women’s men,” Aela pointed out.

Savannah pretended to wipe a tear from her eye. “That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me, Aela.”

“You should invite Dagda next time.”

My head whipped around so fast it probably would have recorded as speeding on a radar. “What?!”

Aoife was unapologetic in her madness. “He’s probably as fucked up as the rest of you. Savannah included.”

“Hey! I resent that.”

“You were the one who admitted you and Aidan had sex after he hanged those traitors,” Aoife said calmly.

I peered at my sister. “Under their swinging bodies?”

“No! Back at home, thank you very much.”

While Aoife’s nose crinkled, I shrugged. “You have to celebrate wins when and where you can.”

“I’d appreciate the backup if you didn’t make that even creepier. I can’t see Conor wanting to fuck under the hanged corpses of traitors,” Savannah drawled.

“He’d be down if I was down, I think. He’s very…” A smile danced on my lips. “…open to new experiences.”

I didn’t realize it, but every single one of my sisters-in-law moved closer to the table at my words.

“My cousin tried to hook up with him at my wedding,” Inessa said in a quiet voice.

My brow puckered. “Remind me to kill her.”

“You can’t kill everyone he’s been with,” Camille pointed out calmly, flicking a glance at her manicure. “What would be the sense in that?”

“Anyway,” Inessa grumbled, “she said he was different.”

“Different, how?” I argued. “He’s got one dick and two balls like any man.”

Inessa shrugged. “She just said he was different. And he never gave her his number. If I liked my cousin, I’d probably have been annoyed on her behalf.”

“Which one?” Camille questioned.

“Klara.”

“God, I used to hate her.”

“She was so jealous I got Eoghan. I think that’s why she went for Conor. But…” She cleared her throat. “I mean, something happened at our apartment when we got home and Conor had to focus on repairing our security system.”

My nose crinkled. “I should probably apologize to you for that.”

“What do you need to apologize for? It’s not like…” Her eyes widened as she jerked to her feet. “ You invited that woman, that whore , into our apartment?”

“I thought the O’Donnellys were the front for the Sparrows,” I admitted with a shrug. “Plus, aCooooig needed his code rattled and his ego brought down a notch.”

“I don’t believe you! You ruined my wedding night!”

I frowned. “Conor told me once that you never even met Eoghan until the day of your wedding. Don’t pretend like I wasn’t doing you a favor.

“A woman deserves to know if her husband is bringing a side piece into the marriage bed.”

“Wait, so, you did it to piss Conor off or to let Inessa know Eoghan had a girlfriend?” Camille questioned—I was starting to pick up on the fact that she was always the voice of reason in these matters.

I hitched a shoulder. “Both.”

“You’re clearly not sorry so why apologize?” Aela retorted.

“Because I didn’t know I’d ever be sitting down for afternoon tea with my sister-in-law who I happened to…” I paused. “I didn’t mean to hurt Inessa. Just Eoghan.”

Savannah snorted at that, but her gaze was amused—she was used to me being the cat among the pigeons.

I figured she was mostly glad that, in this instance, she wasn’t in any danger of getting bitten.

“Does Eoghan know?” Aoife inquired, her tone serene.

“He does, but I didn’t apologize to him if that makes it any better,” I directed at Inessa who Camille was gently trying to encourage to sit down again.

Aoife flashed a look between us. “I think we need to let bygones be bygones.”

“When she says ‘we,’ she means ‘you,’ Inessa,” Aela drawled.

Inessa huffed, but her gaze turned thoughtful. “Eoghan offered to change our furniture after that night.”

That wasn’t off topic. Much.

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” I asked warily.

“Good. And we came to an agreement as well after everything. I suppose…” Her brow furrowed. “It goes against the grain to say this, but I should thank you.

“Our honeymoon was odd and you probably helped because he was apologetic when, otherwise, he could have been… difficult .”

“Don’t thank me,” I said honestly. “I’m glad that my actions changed the course of things for you though.”

She graced me with a regal nod, but her dislike of me had outweighed her fear.

I found that I didn’t mind. Even if, moments before, I’d been amused by her anxiety around me.

Aoife, clearing her throat, remarked, “I learned that Lena has moved into your building, Star. Savannah.”

“How did you find out?” Aela inquired as she jiggled Cameron on her knee.

“Overheard Finn and Aidan talking about it.”

“I had to help her with her kitchen,” Savannah said with a huff. “Star was useless, of course.”

“Of course,” I agreed easily, though my gaze darted between the women as I tried to figure out where Aoife was going with this.

First a mention of Dagda, now Lena?

I’d attended enough Saturday night dinners at her place to know that her MIL was not a topic of conversation to be discussed in front of Aoife.

“Why did she leave the estate?”

“Why didn’t you ask Finn?” Inessa queried, her tone softer.

“Because we rarely talk about her. I know he doesn’t want to hurt me but…” She sucked in a breath. “Finn hurts too. She’s the only real mother he’s ever had.”

“Shame she’s a murderous bitch,” Aela grumbled as she resettled Cameron on her lap.

Aoife carefully placed her cup down on the table. “I don’t think she’s murderous. A bitch, yes, but not murderous. That implies she wants to go on a killing spree. Even I know the Lena of today isn’t the Lena of… back then.”

Aela frowned. “Is Finn still taking Jake to see her?”

“Yes. That’s why Finn was discussing things with Aidan. He needed to know where to visit her.”

“I’ve been around when he drops by,” Savannah admitted.

Aoife cut her a look. “Why do you sound awkward?”

“Mostly because it is. Lena tries but Finn’s quiet. Jake’s… I’d say he’s too young to figure out there’s something going on between them.”

Absently, Aoife reached up and rubbed her chest as if something were paining her.

“I can’t get involved for obvious reasons,” I admitted lightly, “but I know a gun-for-hire, Aoife. You almost had her over for dinner…”

“Why do I feel as if you don’t say that to anyone you don’t like?”

I beamed a grin at her. “You’re catching on.”

I did like Aoife.

She was a gentle soul who baked brilliant brownies and who, despite all odds, had found her place in the world even though said world was content to toss her under the bus a few dozen times.

“I-I don’t want her dead,” Aoife muttered.

“Who’s the gun-for-hire?”

“I thought you liked your husband,” Savannah teased Aela, who promptly flipped her the bird.

“I do. I was curious.”

“Her name is Dead To Me,” I answered easily. “You know her as Lucinda.”

Aela’s eyes widened. “She’s a sniper? I thought she was a soldier.”

“The two aren’t mutually exclusive,” I drawled.

“I don’t want her dead,” Aoife spat, tone sharper this time.

“Okay, Aoife, calm down,” Inessa soothed. “We didn’t think you did.”

“Finn…” Her jaw worked before she released a breath. “Finn has tried very hard to make up for what he’s done?—”

“How’s that going?” was Camille’s gentle inquiry.

“It’s going well.” She rubbed her brow. “I feel as if there are two discordant parts of my marriage and I hate that.

“I love my husband. I-I’m not ashamed to admit that I don’t want to be without him, no matter the mistakes he’s made in the past, but this feels like…”

“A scab that won’t heal,” I said simply, taking a sip of coffee afterward.

“Yes,” she replied, bobbing her head. “It’s raw and deep and I hate it. I hate that it affects my life. I hate that none of you want to talk about her in front of me, and I hate that my brothers-in-law all tread warily around me. I hate that Finn acts as if he’s dropped a bomb whenever he utters her name.”

When the china cup in her hand cracked, we all jerked in surprise, but I was the one who snagged her hand, peered at it for cuts, and placed a napkin around the small slice in her palm—not a lot of damage considering the act.

“Keep pressure on that,” I instructed.

Dazedly, she nodded. “T-Thank you.”

“You have a lot of unresolved anger,” I muttered. “Trust me. I’d know. I’m the queen of that.”

“She is,” Savannah agreed, but she’d moved around to Aoife’s other side and was kneeling next to her. “What do you want to do, Aoife?”

“I want to go back in time. I want my mom to be alive. I want to not know what Lena did to her. I want to unlearn that Lena was a pawn…” She closed her eyes. “It’s impossible, but it’s holding me back and I hate that. I want to move forward. Onward. I-I want to wipe the slate clean.

“Last Thanksgiving and Christmas, we were alone for the first time and even though I knew Finn missed his brothers, he didn’t complain. He was happy and he played with Jake and he was… perfect,” she breathed. “It was weird. No bickering with Conor over the wishbone and no sniping when Brennan ate all of the honeyed parsnips because Lena makes the best in the world.

“No Aela and Declan pretending they hadn’t made out in one of the bedrooms?—”

“Hey! Like you don’t do it?—”

“No Lena making us wear those stupid hats from the crackers she has imported from the UK.” She pressed her hand to her mouth. “I was lucky that you stood by us, that you didn’t choose a side but fitted in around us and what happened, but I still want that back. I just don’t know how to reconcile what I know with a path forward.”

“You don’t.”

Aoife peered at me with glossy eyes. “I-I don’t?”

I hitched a shoulder. “I don’t like Lena. I think she’s a meddling old coot who needs to retire to Boca Raton so she can leave the kids she fucked up to live their lives without her snooping around all the freakin’ time.” Around me, sharp gasps sounded, but I ignored them. “ However , I don’t think those fucked-up kids would like it if she became a snowbird. I think they need her for some weird reason. Conor, especially.

“With that being said, knowing that doesn’t mean I have to like her. It doesn’t mean I even have to endure her presence aside from on Sundays because that’s the least I can do for the man I love.”

Aoife blinked at me. “You’re saying I should just go on Sundays for Finn’s and Jake’s sakes?”

“Nah. My past isn’t your past, and we both know what I’d do to the people who wronged me.” I showed her my teeth. “Lena would be dead and buried if she’d mowed down my mom. Whatever you’re doing right now, is a lot healthier than what I’d do?—”

“And more legal,” Savannah muttered.

“—so whatever you decide to do is what you decide to do. You can want Sunday dinners and family time while barely acknowledging her.”

“Wouldn’t that be awkward?” she mumbled.

I grinned. “For who? You? Nah. Her? Sure.”

Her eyes caught on mine then the words came out in a rush. “I miss her too.”

“You do?” I grimaced. “What’s to miss?”

Aoife swallowed. “She became like a second mom to me.”

“That’s just creepy.”

Savannah nudged me to shut up.

“What? It is! Talk about a weird way to alleviate her own guilt.” I shuddered. “And people say I’m a fucking mess. Anyway, no one can tell you what’s right or wrong for you is what I’m saying.

“In my relationship,” I admitted, “I’m the Finn and Conor is the Aoife.”

“What?” Savannah spluttered around a laugh.

“It’s true. I’ve done some unforgivable shit. Folks might think I don’t deserve him, but the only option open to me is to do whatever I can to be worthy of him.” I sucked in a breath. “It’s hard and I can empathize with Finn because trying to make amends isn’t easy, but that’s how it should be.

“Have you decided on what Finn can do to atone?”

Aoife frowned. “No?”

I didn’t think she meant for it to be a question, but it came out that way.

“Why not?”

“You have, Aoife. You wanted him to cut ties with Lena,” Inessa prompted.

“Yeah, but that’s not enough, is it? That’s a knee-jerk reaction,” I argued. “Atonement is proactive. Now, a couple months ago, I didn’t believe in this atonement shit, but Conor’s made me see the error of my ways.”

“You’re growing up,” Savannah said with a fake sniffle.

I gave her the side-eye then returned my focus to Aoife. “He could have made me suffer and be miserable, but he didn’t.”

“What did he ask of you?” Aela queried, her tone cautious.

“I tend to think I can only do things myself,” I admitted gruffly. “That I’m a team of one. He wanted me to change the way I think. He wanted me to include him. That was what he needed from me and I’ve done that. Do I fuck up? Sure. But did I open up to him too? Yes.”

“Our relationship is different though,” Aoife argued.

“Duh,” I retorted. “But what do you want from him?”

A silence as powerful as a loaded gun slipped between us as the others waited with bated breath for Aoife to answer.

Eventually, when the sound of a pin dropping would have been as loud as an atomic bomb blast, she whispered, “To be his priority. Always. Above his family. Always. To take my side. No matter what. Over everyone and anyone, including his brothers.”

“I-I think he does that now, doesn’t he?” Inessa queried. “After everything, I mean?”

“Yes,” she said softly, her eyes locking on mine though, not Inessa’s. “He does.”

“Okay, so maybe verbalize that to him?—”

“I might have told him that in some variation.”

“Men need reminders,” Savannah tacked on. “Never does any harm to repeat something until it’s set in stone.”

“Very true,” Aela agreed with a hard chuckle.

“So verbalize it again and then say you would like to give Sunday dinner a try with the family.

“And while I’ve no desire to help the old bitch, I’d like to suggest that you think about how you need Lena to atone too.

“Before you say she can’t, I know that, but I think I’m the only one who’d find it entertaining if you blank Lena at her own dinner table.”

“It wouldn’t be fair to everyone, would it?”

“Nah, not really, but as I said before, that doesn’t mean you have to make it easy on her.

“Did you know Conor used to have nightmares as a kid and she wouldn’t comfort him back to sleep?” I sniffed. “I’ll deal with her, but I won’t sort out her fucking kitchen.” If that was pointed at Savannah, then so be it.

She took the hit with an eye roll.

Aoife bit her lip. “I need to think about it.”

“Be odd if you didn’t.” I patted her arm. “Your life’s been in stasis since everything came out. Some things going forward, and others going backward. We both need to embrace the future because we can’t do anything about the past.”

“Wise words,” Camille intoned gently as she held out a plate for me to take. Seeing as mine was still full, I shoved it at Aoife.

“Eat,” I directed. “They might not be as good as yours but they’re still good.”

Her eyes were slightly dazed. “Thank you.”

“No worries.”

“No,” she repeated, tone firmer, her hand reaching for my free one. As she squeezed, she said, “Thank you.”

My lips quirked in a half-smile. “My pleasure.”

“I-I have an apple pie over there for Conor,” she mumbled.

“He’ll appreciate that,” I said softly, aware she was still reeling from the unintentionally emotional conversation we’d just had.

Nodding, she bowed her head and seemed to drift off from the conversation as other chats came into being around the table as we all, silently, agreed to let her come to terms with what had just been discussed.

Around ten minutes into the shift in conversation, I received a text from Conor with a new song. I popped an earbud in so I could listen to it. Rose Royce’s “Wishing on a Star” was the opposite of his style but the title made me smile and the melody had me humming which was when I realized Aela was studying me.

When she saw I’d caught her watching me, she raised a brow and tipped her chin at Aoife before dipping it at me in silent thanks.

I bowed my head and returned my focus to the dish in front of me.

I might not like afternoon tea, but at least it came with cake.