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5

STAR

I stirred when the bedroom door opened, tilting upright on my elbow to make sure it was Conor sliding inside and no one else.

When he spotted me, he yawned. “How come you’re awake?”

“On edge. So’s Kat.”

He paused on his trudge through the room. “She’s in here?”

“Nightmare,” I said sadly. “But at least she’s upgraded to no bed-wetting. That’ll save her from feeling embarrassed tomorrow.”

“Did she remember any of the dream?”

“No. What do you think happened to her, Conor?” I could hear the hitch in my voice and knew he did too.

Both of us had showered shortly after we’d arrived at the brownstone once my cousin and Troy were settled in next door, so his clean scent gave away his proximity. I held out my hand, knowing he’d take it as he knelt on the side of the mattress next to me.

“Is it okay for me to be on the bed with her in it?”

I blinked. “I’m in the middle.”

“Okay. I didn’t want to freak her out or anything.”

Inside, I melted. Deeper still, I cried for what he’d endured. On the outside, I just tugged him closer to me, wanting his arms around me, hell, needing them.

Needing him.

“You won’t. She already thinks you’re Prince Charming. Why do you think she came to you to save me?”

He snorted. “You’d have saved yourself eventually.”

“Your faith in me is too strong. My stubbornness is my downfall.”

“It’s also a survival mechanism. I thank fuck for your obstinacy because it means you’re here, and that means I can do this…” He rubbed his nose down the side of my chin and whispered, “…and this.” His lips pressed gently to mine and with a soft breath, I dived into him, escaping this horrible world for those endless moments that he held me.

That he let me be Star.

It was chaste because of Kat, but it meant so much for that reason alone.

This was connection. Pure and simple. This was… love .

After a couple moments, we settled together in a spoon formation. I rested against him and he pressed his chin to my shoulder, and for a while, we just stayed that way.

Decompressing, I guessed, was what we were doing.

It took me long enough to realize that I’d still been on edge the whole time he’d been downstairs with Finn, and I finally felt like I could inhale deeply enough to flood my lungs with the oxygen I needed.

With a soft kiss on my cheek, he murmured, “You okay to talk about this?”

“Yes. Kat sleeps as if she’s in an iron lung after a nightmare, but she’s got earplugs in any way. Aoife was a lifesaver and had some on hand so we can whisper without disturbing her.”

He hummed as he slotted our fingers together and bridged them over my belly.

“I think,” he said slowly, as if he were thinking out loud, “that the Sparrows believe the kids saw them at this weird meeting they were having where they used their children as pawns to protect themselves, and they think that they can identify them. Which, considering their ages, is a stretch.

“ Or , they think Reinier or DeLaCroix will ID them to save their own hides, and they’re just cleaning up the mess to stay untouchable.

"They’re both in positions of power—attorney general and White House chief of staff—so they have a lot to lose.”

The rage that churned inside me was a stark contrast to the calm I’d been feeling since he’d wrapped me in his arms.

“I fucking hate them,” I hissed, the words bubbling with my vitriol.

“I know. I do too. Tonight, I learned where they’ll both be on Wednesday and it’s on the island…”

“Which island?”

“This one.”

“You’re shitting me! They’re meeting here ?” I wriggled around to face him. “Please tell me you’re kidding.”

“I’m not. They’re going to meet at his office. According to Smythe’s planner, it’s to discuss some law they’re trying to hoodwink Congress into, but we both know that’s BS.”

“Meeting in person is high risk, isn’t it?”

“Hardly. It could be passed as work. Foundry’s the head of the Justice Department. Smythe could easily justify a meeting.”

“We need to grab them,” I muttered. “It makes our job a lot easier if they’re together and we can contain them simultaneously.”

“I had a feeling you’d say that.”

“You did? Stop knowing me so well.”

He chuckled. “I have an entry and exit strategy, but it needs me on the ground and you, Dead To Me, as well as Troy to get involved.”

I shrugged. “They’ll be down for it.”

“You think Troy will try to make a run for it tonight?”

“I do, but I think she’ll end up talking herself out of it. She’s hella paranoid, but she’s safe here and she loves Lyra and Lyra is undeniably better protected in an Irish Mob stronghold than in a car on the road in the middle of Buttfuck, USA.”

“I understand why she’s paranoid,” he admitted. “Her father’s a known psychopath. Just as crazy as Da but without the religion to temper him.”

“I don’t think religion tempered your da,” I drawled with a disbelieving laugh.

“Oh, you’d be surprised.” He hummed. “It’s interesting that she lost herself in... well, whatever she is.”

“Nah. It makes sense. The best way to get rid of your demons is to lose yourself in a cause that’s bigger than you.”

“What is her cause?”

“The CIA recruited Troy while she was with the LVPD. She graduated out of the academy top of her class and walked a beat for a while, but then she made a couple snappy arrests and it green-lit her.

“She’s fucking fast with a rifle, not as accurate as Cin, but a quick and solid shot. Plus, it’s whacko how many languages she speaks.”

“Didn’t think they’d have wanted her with her past,” he admitted.

“You’d be astonished by what they’ll accept if it fits their current agenda."

“I’m surprised you’d know all that but not about her family.”

“She isn’t exactly the sharing type. Alberto De Laurentiis told me.”

He frowned at me. “De Laurentiis? The previous Don of the Camorra?”

I grunted. “I knew him through my dad. He told me he fed her resume to the alphabets.”

“Why?”

“He was a clever old coot.” A soft laugh escaped me as something hit home after I’d spent years wondering... “Bet he knew about her family and used that as leverage. More than likely bit him in the ass though. Doubt she’d take being blackmailed lying down.”

“Did he have anything on you?”

I chuckled. “Photos of bad haircuts when I was a kid? Definitely. Savannah, Camden, and I got wasted too many times to count, and I’d hazard a guess and say that he knew the shit we got up to and could have used it if he wanted, but he didn’t. He liked me.” I thought back to this past year and how crazy it had been. “I’ll miss the old bastard.” If my tone was wistful, so be it. “He was so fucking clever. Always ten steps ahead. A bitch to beat at chess.”

“Did you ever win?”

I smiled. “Once or twice.”

“You have anything to do with his death?”

“Maybe.”

He sighed. “Your ‘maybes’ are starting to give me heartburn.”

“At least I’m not the only one dealing with that,” I groused.

“You have heartburn?”

“Never mind.” I cleared my throat. “He asked me for my help. Who was I to ignore a friend in need?”

“He asked for help in dying?”

“He wasn’t going to rot in jail for the rest of his days. I couldn’t blame him.”

Never let it be said the man wasn’t smart—he knew I didn’t want to talk about this, so he asked, “You accepted the CIA’s offer because of your mom?”

“Yeah. Figured I might be able to get some answers into her death if I was on the inside. Ya know, more than, ‘She died. Get over it.’”

He squeezed my fingers in commiseration. “Bet you never imagined what you’d be wading into.”

“No, but…” I sighed. “I’ve never been good at keeping my nose out of shit. Always had my own morals and used those as a measure rather than blindly following how the government would like me to be.

“Even if Reinier hadn’t used the Sparrows to shut me up when I started making noises about a double agent and the looting of priceless artifacts, I had a feeling it’d get me killed.”

“What?!”

“Someone was making a lot of money, Conor. If you make waves when millions are on the line, you end up in a box draped in the stars and stripes.

“Reinier was too much of a businessman to let me go to waste. A reasonably attractive woman with a functioning pussy, asshole, and mouth? Why not put them to good use? Shrewd of him.”

“Until you escaped and became a pain in his ass.”

“I’ll be worse than that when I’m done with him.” That was a fucking vow. “Same with these other pricks. If they were in on it, which seems hella likely, they’ll pay.”

Hell, I’d make them pay anyway.

If a fucker thought a person was a piece of meat to be sold as merch, I was doing the world a service in making sure they didn’t share oxygen with the rest of us for much longer.

“You got plans?” he asked as he toyed with my fingers.

“I do. Nasty ones.”

He snorted.

“It doesn’t freak you out?”

“I’m Aidan O’Donnelly Sr.’s son, Star. I’ve watched him crucify people… You’ve seen what I put Michael Byrne through too. I think I can cope with whatever you dish out for him.”

I had several ideas I was working with but to be on the safe side, I checked, “Can I borrow your electrodes?”

I could feel his excitement. “You can. I messed around with the settings. Made them stronger.”

“Excellent.”

“You channeled Mr. Burns then. Do not lie to me and spoil my kickass day of watching you be you by telling me you’ve never seen an episode of The Simpsons .”

I smiled into the darkness. “Does that make you my Smithers?”

“I want to fuck you as much as he wants to fuck Mr. Burns, but you’re cuter than that old bastard and I think I’m hotter than Smithers too.”

“You’re definitely hotter,” I whispered, running my nose along his.

“I’m glad to hear it.” He yawned. “Sorry, Star. I’m tired.”

“We both are. I was just waiting for your ass to show up before I could get some Zs.”

Startled, he blurted out, “Really?”

“Really.” I wiggled my ring between my fingers. “Thank you for the cameo.”

“It was always supposed to be on your finger.” That had me biting my lip, but before I could say anything in my nervous agitation, he whispered, “I told you, you don’t need to say yes or no. It can sit there for a year or twenty and it can just mean something to us .”

I swallowed. “You’re too good to me.”

He chuckled. “Before you, Star, I was my father’s weapon. You gave me purpose even without knowing it. Then, you were you, I fell hard, and your cause became my cause. Your fight became my fight. We’re in this together, Star. Until the end.”

And with those words, I accepted a worryingly beautiful truth—that Conor was the only person alive who had the capacity to raze me to dust, who could destroy me and rebuild me at the same time.

The only person I’d allow to do that.

The ring felt like a heavy weight on my hand for that reason alone. Not because I hated jewelry—which I did—but because it represented more than a pretty bauble. Its solid presence was comforting. Exactly like him.

It was timeless.

Forever.

Just like us.

I bit my lip at the thought then whispered, “Did you like that song?”

I didn’t realize I’d taken a while to answer until, his tone sleepy, he mumbled, “You knew I would.”

Smiling to myself, I calculated it’d take two years for me to broaden his horizons away from noxxious .

He’d once told me that only women wanted to change the men in their lives, but he was wrong in this instance.

There was nothing about him that I wanted to change… Nothing apart from his shitty taste in music.

The thought had me settling deeper into him as I turned back around so I could tuck my arm over Katina’s waist and, sandwiched between the people I loved the most, I allowed myself to rest.