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6

CONOR

YOURS - ELLA HENDERSON

I woke up and found that I’d literally died and gone to heaven.

Da was wrong .

There weren’t fluffy white clouds and dudes dancing around in togas with their dicks flapping in the breeze as they partied in the sky.

Nor was it Maximus Decimus Meridius’s version either—these weren’t the Elysian Fields.

“I know I’m out of practice, but if you’re too busy mumbling, ‘Da’s so wrong,’ maybe I should stop?” Lodestar huffed as she peered at me from halfway down my chest.

I squinted at her, surprised to see that it was full light outside the windows so that meant I got an even better view of her there .

Just, there .

“Da was wrong,” I rasped. “This is heaven.”

Her huff of irritation morphed into a softly uttered, “Oh.”

She liked hearing that.

Not as much as I enjoyed having her lips on my skin, though.

Star peeped at me. “I-I didn’t want to touch you, your … ” She sighed. “ You without your permission but I?—”

“You always have permission. I know you’ll never hurt me, Star.”

Her throat bobbed. “You say that so easily. I’ve proven that I hurt first and ask questions later.”

I reached for her hand. “That was before you wore this.” My thumb rubbed over the cameo ring I’d given her. “Everything’s changed now, hasn’t it?”

A gentle breath whispered from between her lips. “Yes, it has.” I cupped her chin, watching as she tilted her head to the side to nuzzle into me. “Conor?”

“Hmm?”

“You always have permission too.”

I stilled. “That’s big.”

“And it wasn’t for you?”

“You don’t have to say that just because I did,” I informed her kindly. “My situation is very different from yours, and yours is also more recent?—”

Anger flared in her eyes. “You don’t have to downplay it around me. I’m not your brothers, Conor. I’m not your Da. I’m?—”

“What are you, Star?” I half-growled, wanting her to say the word. Needing her to say it.

“Yours.” Her chin tipped up, the gesture defiant. “If I do something to trigger you, then I won’t do it again?—”

“I didn’t give you permission to trigger me,” I pointed out. “I gave you permission to touch me. There’s a difference.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Are we splitting hairs?”

“No,” I said around a laugh, my irritation immediately fading. “We’re not. The latter is what happens in an adult relationship. The former is when you’re living with a rapist. I’m not your ex-husband.”

“You’re nothing like him,” she ground out, jerking upright as if my words infuriated her. “You’d never do anything that he did.”

“Well, then, you know you’re in safe hands,” I commented with ease, wanting to calm her down when I’d inadvertently agitated her.

She frowned at me, repeating, “You’d never do what he did.”

“I wouldn’t.”

“So never compare yourself in any way to him again. He wasn’t my ‘ex-husband.’ He was my jailor. He was?—”

“Where’s Kat?” I asked, breaking into her tirade.

“She said she was going to ask Aoife for breakfast. Kat wakes up earlier than the larks. It’s a cruel twist of fate seeing as I’m a night owl. Not even the Army broke me out of that habit.”

I slid the backs of my fingers across her cheek. “This part of the house is an annex.”

“I know. Why do you think I was coming onto you?”

“Just checking that you were comfortable.”

She hummed. “I am.”

“Did you enjoy killing him?”

What could only be described as malevolent glee exploded into being behind her eyes. I recognized it because I’d seen it often in Da’s when he’d been having fun that involved blood spatter and screams.

“Hans?”

I nodded.

“It was satisfying. It was even more satisfying getting away from him. I’d do it again.”

“I know you would,” I drawled, amused that she felt as if she had to say that. Stroking away a couple locks of hair that tumbled into her face, I tucked them behind her ear. “That’s what I can do now you’ve given permission for me to touch you,” I informed her, returning to stroking her cheek with my thumb, watching as, cat-like, she angled her face deeper into the caress. “We learn boundaries as we go, hmm?”

She glanced at me from the corner of her eye then twisted her head so that I wasn’t touching her anymore. Before my hand could drop, her lips were around my thumb and my nostrils flared as the hot heat of her mouth collided with it.

I watched as she slid all the way down it then suckled the tip before nipping it.

“That was how I wanted to wake you up,” she whispered breathily, her pupils dilated.

Eyes narrowed, I rumbled, “Then I would have been in heaven because your lips on my skin is paradise, but around my cock is…” Speechless and without an appropriate word, I hitched a shoulder.

She smirked at me before returning to my abs where she’d been tracing her tongue between the divots upon my waking up.

Maintaining eye contact with me, she continued her original trajectory, her fingers tucking in the waistband of my sweatpants I’d borrowed from Finn and dragging them lower until my dick was free.

“No boxer briefs?” she rasped, on eye level with my cock now.

“Not for bed—” My words cut off with a hiss as she stroked her tongue down my shaft, the tip delving into the nooks and crannies of every vein and artery that wrapped around my length.

Groaning, I closed my eyes to process how fucking good that felt, then they popped open again because watching was half the fun when it came to Star.

With the malevolent glee of earlier having been replaced with a hazy need, I circled my fingers around her lips.

I watched as she tensed a little, knowing she was preparing for me to shove her face into my crotch, and I made sure to keep my movements gentle.

The thumb she'd sucked traced the corner of her mouth as she returned to the glans and started tonguing the slit where pre-cum was already bubbling.

Having relaxed into my touch, I watched as she grabbed me around the base, held me fast, then treated the underside of my dick to the same treatment.

She coated me in spit, getting me wet and messy, then finally, her lips were there, sinking around me.

“Fuck,” I groaned, elongating the word as ecstasy sparked inside my veins, boiling my blood until I knew explosion was imminent just as a goddamn safety feature.

I watched when she sank down, and down, and down. Her fingers retreated as she broached the lower inches. I grunted as she flicked her tongue at the base, teasing an area that was rarely touched.

Keeping my hips from bucking seemed to be an impossible task, especially as I watched her stay there, a calmness in her eyes that I didn’t share, her amusement tangible as she swallowed around me, her throat doing stuff to my cock that should have been illegal in at least forty states.

I stared at her, feeling tongue-tied when mine wasn’t even busy, and then I whispered, “You need to stop.”

Some of that glee returned to her gaze. Less sadistic than before but definitely giving me no quarter.

She shook her head as she retreated, moving up and down my length as she continued her ministrations.

I needed to talk, had to speak, but I didn’t want to trigger her. Touch was one thing, words were another, and even as overwhelmed as I was right now, I knew?—

“My bad girl,” I rasped, unable to keep the words back. “So bad for me. That fucking mouth is a sinner’s paradise, Star. It’s hell not coming down your throat the second those sinful lips are swallowing every inch of me.”

The words had her whimpering and I watched as her hand snaked down between us.

Knowing the destination, I rasped, “Let me touch that naughty pussy, Star. You know I won’t stop until I make you sing.”

This time, when she swallowed around my cock, it had nothing to do with teasing me.

Still, as lust-crazed as I was, I noticed a distinct difference in her reaction between using the word 'bad' and using the word 'naughty.'

As I made a mental note of that, I rumbled a test, “I want you to come on my face, Star. Can you do that for me, my naughty girl?”

Her mouth, strained around my shaft, quivered.

“Come on,” I crooned. “Sit on my face, my naughty, naughty girl.”

Slowly, she retreated, each inch taking a fucking lifetime, making me ball my hands into fists around the sheets at either side of my hips as she tortured me on the way up.

Then, when my dick was missing the heat of her mouth, she jumped off the bed.

I reared upright, wondering what the fuck I’d done as she headed for the door.

“Star!” I called out, but she ignored me. Then, I sank back in relief when she twisted the key in the lock and returned to me, dragging clothes off as she went.

That she hadn’t locked the door before starting to kiss her way down my abs told me how spontaneous she’d been this morning, and I was glad for that—glad because I wanted that between us.

We did have internal minefields, but the past was in the past, and I didn’t want it to affect this , us. We deserved to own our futures, to own our pleasures, and for them not to be tainted by the people who hurt us.

When she stood beside the bed, all my thoughts were erased because she wriggled her hips, dropping her sweatpants to the floor, revealing that she, too, had gone commando last night.

My gaze flickered over the myriad scars on her body. Acts of violence that had been perpetrated against her, ones that might have taken her from me. She was a survivor, though, and those scars were proof of that fact.

Fuck, she was hot.

So fucking hot.

Tongue cleaved to the roof of my mouth at the prospect of being able to worship her, of getting to drown myself in her sweet, sweet cunt again, she surprised me by clambering onto my lap and staying there.

Hands settling on her hips, I urged, “I can’t wait to taste you, Star.”

She bit her lip as she reached for my cock. Shaking her head, she didn’t answer, just started rocking her slit against me.

With her tits right goddamn there, I reached up and cupped one, palpating, squeezing, and pinching before I allowed my free hand to give the other the same treatment.

She was drenched around my dick, which made it even easier for her and more torturous for me to be surrounded by slick, hot silk while my palms were filled with her curves.

With her eyes locked on mine, I saw the internal shudder of pleasure every time she nudged her clit.

Fully expecting her to get herself off like she’d done yesterday, I watched her, knowing I was close and that she’d probably need more so I had to hold back.

Her orgasms were slow to burn but fiery in the aftermath, and watching her regain ownership of her pleasure this way was the most satisfying thing I’d ever seen in my fucking life so I’d never shortchange her. Not when her satisfaction was half my fun.

Her hands plopped onto my chest as she began to grind into me. Her nostrils flared with every thrust as she worked herself higher, higher, then, as was becoming the standard today, she growled under her breath and jerked onto her knees, making my hands fall to my sides in response.

She quivered above me, frustration teeming from her pores.

With another growl, she snarled, “Why is it so fucking hard?”

I angled my head to the side. “Let me help.” It wasn’t a question.

“No.” Mulishly, she dropped down again and started rocking against my dick. After a couple minutes, she snapped, “I can feel it. It’s…” Her expression tensed as she worked herself up—to pleasure or in annoyance, I wasn’t sure yet. “It’s mine,” she rasped. “I wanted this.”

Then, she was back to her knees, her entire frame quivering as she hung on the precipice.

Though I knew this was something she wanted to take possession of, I sat up and carefully tumbled her into the sheets so she was lying supine.

I didn’t loom above her, just whispered, “This isn’t a battle, Star. This isn’t something you have to do on your own. Teamwork makes the dream work, no?”

She snorted but didn’t answer, just lay there, little sparks of pleasure making her twitch beneath me as if her circuits were starting to short but not enough to lead to the big O.

I let my tongue circle her nipple, but I didn’t hang around because she said she didn’t have much sensitivity there. Then, I traced her navel before going deeper and nuzzling my face into her mons. Gripping her thighs, I levered them higher so they were together and pinched her labia between them.

Peering around her legs, I informed her, “This isn’t a sprint, Star.”

“I just want to come,” she complained breathily. “I don’t want it to be a struggle.”

“We’ll get there, baby. We’ll get there.”

Her throat bobbed as she turned her face away from me, but she graced me with a nod.

Reaching down, I pinched her outer pussy lips at the upper apex, watching her squirm as I pinned her clit in place.

Moving my fingertips in a circle, I lowered my other hand and ran a tip through the compressed folds where her juices had gathered.

She tensed but, maintaining the massaging action of my fingers, I asked, “May I?”

Star was quiet for so long that I figured she was going to say no, but instead, the nod she gave me this time was jerky.

“Words, baby.”

Her nostrils flared. “Don’t hurt me.”

My temper surged at that—not at her, but at what had been done to her.

“I will never hurt you. Ever,” I murmured, keeping my tone light, hiding my anger at the world from her.

Her throat bobbed as I gently circled her slit and began to thrust a finger into her.

The way she clamped down around me was not a good sign.

Needing to change my plans, I kept the finger there, not moving, as I ordered, “Lower your thighs to the bed for me, Star.”

She did, letting them fall on either side of me as I bowed my head and started to flutter my tongue around her clit.

Her husky groan was music to my ears, and how her hands immediately fisted around the sheets was a sight for sore eyes.

I flicked my tongue back and forth, sucking on her clit, shaping it with the tip, caressing and teasing, giving her what I thought she needed, and using her pussy as a gauge.

With every moan of pleasure, the intensity of the vice around my finger decreased. Instead, her inner muscles began to pulse around it.

Gently, I began to thrust.

Gently, I began to explore.

All the while, my mouth was busy distracting her.

Her hips started to cant into me, pushing her pussy into my face, proving that she was enjoying the act even if I could feel her tension as the need to come resurfaced.

With my teeth, I nipped her clit. “Tell me how you feel.”

“L-Like it’s there, within touching distance. I can almost see it. I know how good it will be, but when I try to reach for it,” she whimpered, “it slips away.” Her sharp cry had me returning to suckling her clit, doubling down on the move until she was writhing against me.

I sensed the shift in her when she tensed again, and I nipped her clit between my lips then retreated to ask, “Why are you struggling today, baby?”

She ground her ass into the sheets. “Because I want you inside me.”

Ah.

“You might not be ready for it yet,” I said simply, which had her head flying upright so she could properly aim her glower at me.

“I’m ready ,” she growled. “ I decide, not my body.”

My lips almost twitched, but I put them to better use and returned to her clit.

“Fuck,” she keened, her body arching against the sheets.

Finger retreating from her slit, I gently circled it with two digits, and as I sucked hard on the small nub, I thrust both into her. She gasped but didn’t lock up as much this time.

Keeping the motions nonaggressive, I worked her back toward an orgasm, taking note when she stiffened, when her moans turned frustrated, and adjusting my behavior as a result.

“Conor,” she whimpered, sounding more exhausted than ever.

“Yes, baby,” I replied even though it hadn’t been a question.

Her frustration and fatigue got to me like nothing else could.

Instead of waiting for a reply, I switched moves, and this time, I gave her my weight, settling atop her, sliding my arms beneath her shoulders and holding her close to me.

Her arms came around my neck and her legs cupped my hips, her feet settling against my ass—the toes burrowing in, not her heels.

It was more of an embrace than anything else, and she relaxed into it enough that when she squirmed, it put her cunt and my cock on the path of direct collision.

“You feel good,” she whispered before her mouth met mine, our tongues knotting as she found a rhythm she enjoyed, uncaring that my lips were covered in her pussy juices, just needing to kiss me as much as I needed to kiss her.

When the rigidity left her body, I pulled back to whisper, “Put me in you. You control this, Star. You. Not me. You. Take what belongs to you.”

Her throat bobbed and I knew she understood what I meant—her orgasm belonged to her, but so did I.

So did my dick.

She didn’t reply but her gaze was locked on mine as I levered away from her so that she could reach between us, and that was answer enough.

A hissed breath escaped me when her hand cupped me, and my forehead fell atop hers as she notched the tip of my dick to her slit.

“Are you ready, baby girl?”

She kissed me again, which I took to mean ‘no’ because she’d have said yes otherwise.

So I stayed there.

I hovered above her, the head of my dick in fucking paradise while the rest was locked out of heaven’s gates.

Her tongue thrust against mine and that was a distraction because it encouraged me to do what I wanted—fuck her.

But in this, I just stole her breath, took her kisses, and claimed them for my own.

Then, her hips reared up and I started to sink into her.

Deeper.

One inch.

Two.

Slower.

Three inches.

Four.

I groaned as I hit the halfway point.

Five.

Six inches.

She was still beneath me but not tensed. Her eyes were wide as they remained locked on mine, and her feet on my ass encouraged me to keep going as they burrowed into the muscles there.

Seven.

Eight.

One more half-inch and I was fucking home.

My pubic bone nuzzled hers as I sank in deep and she took me fully.

Jesus.

Mary.

Joseph.

And the twelve disciples.

I'd been wrong before.

This was fucking heaven.

Letting my weight resettle on her, I felt her arms and legs tighten around me as she held me in place.

“You’re inside me,” she whispered, and that tone of hers, so full of wonder and hope, nearly had me blowing my wad.

“You’re perfect, Star. So fucking perfect.”

“I didn’t… I wasn’t sure if I’d be able…” She groaned and her hips bucked. “Thank you,” she cried, her mouth colliding with mine again, putting the brake on her words as she fucked me from beneath.

That was Star.

Aggressive, even when she was on the bottom.

She writhed underneath me, thrusting back as I started to rock into her, keeping it deep, not wanting to leave her when it had taken years for me to reach this point.

Fuck, I never wanted to leave. I wanted to stay here forever. She was mine. My home. My haven. My fucking everything.

With our tongues thrusting against the other, mimicking what was happening down below, I felt the ripples of her cunt before she did—they were rhythmic, heavy, and deep.

Those taut, inner muscles began to pulse around me, milking me of my cum, tormenting me with the need to fill her, with the urge for her to come around me and for me to share in her bliss.

When her mouth pulled away from mine, I watched as her head ground into the pillows, her hair splaying wide as the peak started to hit.

I chased her lips and kissed her as she whimpered her pleasure, sobbing through it, massive judders in her muscles making her quake beneath me as her body imploded and exploded all at the same time.

There was no way in fuck that I could have survived that—I came.

Her cunt was tight and hot and wet, and it didn’t stop clutching at me as I gave her everything I had to give, every drop until we were sealed together.

For-fucking-ever.

When I slumped on her, she didn’t shove me away. She clung harder to me, and because I knew she wanted to let go as little as I did, I rolled us over so my weight wasn’t heavy on her, and she settled back atop me with a soft, contented sigh.

Covering her with the duvet, knowing that I owed Finn a new guest bed, I held her as she nuzzled into me and both of us fell asleep, our minds unerringly on the same truth— yesterday had only been our beginning and now, we had a tomorrow.