Page 60
7
STAR
It could have been awkward, but this was Conor. Nothing was awkward with him.
Which, in itself, had long since told me I was fucked.
Yet, because it was Conor, I could handle being fucked.
Literally and figuratively.
That meant when our skin cleaved together from heat and sweat, he chuckled, and that made me grin as we had to pry ourselves apart.
It meant that when I saw the mess we’d made on the sheets, he nudged me under the chin and told me he’d be buying Finn a new bed, ignoring my blush to greet me with another kiss.
It meant that when we showered and he cleaned me down there, I didn’t even flinch, just let him tend to me.
It meant that everything was different. That nothing was the same. That the sky was bluer and the sun shone brighter. It meant that Aoife’s croissants were delicious, but they tasted so much more scrumptious with the endorphins still whirring around my brain and with Conor’s hand on the small of my back.
It didn’t even matter that Aoife was blushing as she looked at us and muttered, “You can explain why you were crying to Jake, Conor.”
“Crying?” he repeated, bewildered.
“Yes. There were noises ,” she mumbled. “You know? Noises. ”
“We were that loud?” he retorted, eyes wide.
“No. He wanted to visit his Unka Kid. Thank God you locked the door.”
“Jesus.” His eyes turned distant. “My bedroom door at home doesn’t have a lock on it.”
Aoife snorted. “That’s the first thing you make sure you get when you have kids.”
It had never been an issue for me until today, and I’d only just remembered to get up and lock our door before I’d stripped off, but I nodded. “Thanks for the advice, Aoife.”
She shrugged. “You’re welcome, but you’re still explaining why you were crying.”
I accepted the dish she offered me and took a deep bite of my second croissant of the day, not needing any jam on it because it was that damn good.
“Where is he?” Conor questioned, scrubbing a hand over his face.
“In the family room with Finn and Katina.”
“I guess I should be glad the others are with Ma?”
“Yes, you should be. Expect some proud looks from your brother. I think he’s been worried about you.”
Conor started to drift out of the kitchen, muttering under his breath about snooping brothers before he froze, twisted around, and asked me, “You’ll be okay?”
I smiled at him. “Yes. And I don’t think you can judge anyone about snooping…”
He scowled. “Whose side are you on?”
My smile turned into a smirk. “The side of justice.”
Aoife chuckled and we shared a grin as Conor stomped off, this time mumbling about only God knew what.
Returning to my croissant, I answered, “Coffee, please. Milky, if possible,” when Aoife asked me if I’d like something to drink.
She set a latte in front of me after messing with a fancy espresso machine that would have been comfortable in a bougie restaurant and not a home kitchen.
As if she knew what I was thinking, she said, “Finn’s developed a taste for swanky coffee, but he can’t use the machine so I had to learn how.”
“Why can’t he use it?”
She snorted. “I have no idea. I’d think he was faking, but whenever he makes me coffee, it tastes vile. In the interests of not destroying my taste buds, I took over, and now I’m addicted.” She wafted a hand at the coffee. “Try it.”
“I’m not really an aficionado,” I excused, but I took a sip of the brew and my brows lifted. “That tastes great.” Well, better than the other disgusting dregs I drank on the regular, at any rate.
“I know. It’s the machine, not me. Miracle worker.” She tipped her head to the side as she reached for her own coffee. “Cin is next door with your… friends.”
I nodded. “I figured as much. Thank you for letting us crash into your lives.”
Aoife’s chuckle wasn’t bitter, more resigned. “Nothing irregular has happened this week.”
“Meaning it’s crazy every week?”
“You guessed it.”
“Does it bother you?” Guilt hit me. “I mean, we’ve taken over your house… I’m sorry about that.”
“It doesn’t bother me and you don’t have to say sorry. I’m used to it.” She took a sip of coffee. “I grew up an only, lonely child. There’s never any loneliness in the O’Donnelly family if you let them in.”
Her words had me biting my lip. “I grew up that way too. I wasn’t lonely, though, because of Savannah. Her folks and mine were…” My nose crinkled as I thought about their relationship. I was no prude, but I used to be bitter on my mom’s behalf. Now, I didn’t have a clue what to think or feel. “I’m not even sure, to be honest,” I admitted. “Maybe I’ll never understand their friendship unless I ask Lorelei and Dagger.
“I know that when we were in LA, we shared a compound and that in New York, our apartments were in the same building, so we were always close.
“I guess I know what family is, but I also understand that it’s nice being able to shut the door in their faces and not let them in when they piss you off.”
Aoife’s mouth curved at that, and she surprised me by hovering her fist in front of me to bump.
After, I picked up a third croissant, and this one, I loaded down with jam. Screw the saturated fats—I’d had sex for the first time in years and I’d seen the Milky Way.
It was a day for celebration.
“Is everything okay, Aoife?” I asked softly, watching her tear her own pastry apart but not actually eat any of it.
Clearly, I was in a good mood, but she wasn’t.
Smiling, she shook her head. “Everything’s fine.”
“Why do people do that?” I asked.
“Do what?”
“Shake their head in the negative but then speak in the affirmative… I’m thinking that’s a lie.”
Her eyes narrowed at me but she repeated firmly, “Everything’s fine.”
“If you say so.” I dismissed that as bullshit. “I’m assuming that whatever’s fine is something you can’t share with Finn?”
Her bottom lip got sucked in between her teeth. “You know a man called Dagda.”
It wasn't a question.
My hand, in the process of raising the croissant to my mouth, stilled. “Yes.”
“He’s my uncle. His name’s Eamonn?—”
“Keegan.” I knew her maiden name was that too. “Are you sure you’re related?” I tested, trying not to get involved and crack open painful truths when I knew they were blood but wasn’t sure if she did.
She cleared her throat. “Yes.”
“How?”
A few taps on her screen, and she was handing me her cell.
Unknown Sender: Your mom can finally rest in peace now.
“You think Eamonn sent you that?”
“I received it after Aidan Sr. died.” Her gaze collided with mine. “I’m assuming it’s him.”
“Why?” I asked warily. I mean, I knew what had happened, but I assumed she didn’t.
Her eyes narrowed upon me. “I think you’ll be the only woman in the family who the men don’t try to keep in the dark.”
“I don’t think that’s something to be envious of,” I drawled, but I didn’t deny it— any of it.
Her hand tapped the table beside mine. “Nice ring.”
I hummed as she studied it.
“You said yes?”
“I agreed to wear the ring.”
She tipped her head to the side. “Interesting.”
“I don’t think Conor and I will ever do anything the normal way.”
“Probably for the best in this family.” She straightened up as she finished her coffee. “He survived the night.”
“Dagda?”
“Yes.”
“Are you glad about that?”
“I suppose. Not much point being glad about it if you’re going to kill him.”
I studied her. “I think you know more than you let on, Aoife.”
“The men aren’t as quiet as they think they are.” She sniffed. “Well? Are you going to kill him?”
“He murdered my mom,” I reasoned. “But my mom wasn’t as squeaky clean as I thought she was so I’m of two minds about the whole thing.”
Her throat bobbed. “I don’t have any family left, Star. Not on my mom's side. And the… What I did have was stolen from me.”
“I know,” I rasped, my gaze meeting hers. “I’m sorry about that.”
“Not your fault and I’ve made peace with what happened because I love my husband and I understand how this family works. They protect their women. No matter what the women do.
“If I killed Lena, Finn would go to war to make sure I never saw the inside of a jail cell. He’d lose his brothers too because he’d stand by me.” She sucked in a breath. “I find comfort in that.”
“In knowing you could destroy his whole universe and he’d still stand by your side?”
Slowly, she nodded. “Yes. Not very healthy, but we each find our own coping mechanisms, don’t we?”
“We do,” I agreed, sharing a measured glance with her. Knowing and accepting that we’d both gone through hell. “Are you asking me not to kill Dagda?”
“I think so. I don’t know the man. Maybe he deserves to die? Maybe I’d be better off not knowing him, but…”
“Just in case, hmm?”
“Yes, just in case.”
I studied her as I pondered the situation.
Eventually, I queried, “You’ll tell me if he treats you poorly?”
The hope in her eyes was painful to behold. “Yes.”
“From one sister-in-law to another, I won’t target him. I tried to help him yesterday,” I remarked. “The only reason Conor knew he was under attack was because I got him to call Keegan. So, when I said I was of two minds about the situation, I meant it. His actions don’t correlate with what I know of him, and my mom wasn’t who I thought she was.
“I have to assume that the O’Donnellys have allowed him to live even though he did what he did to their father for a reason.”
“They wanted him to form an alliance with them. Eamonn was the head of the ECD.”
“I’ve heard.” That was another reason I didn’t think Dagda needed to die. Anyone who went to jail for mass-murdering Sparrows should be a friend of mine. “I won’t steal more family from you, Aoife.”
“You don’t owe me anything,” she pointed out.
“You let me into your home. You looked after my daughter.” I hitched a shoulder. “I don’t forget things like that. Plus…” My nose crinkled. “I have to apologize but I need to buy you a new guest bed.”
Aoife rolled her lips inward. “Let Conor pay. He’s rich enough.”
“I’m not exactly poor,” I dismissed.
She wafted a hand. “It’s the Catholic in them.”
“For nonreligious men, they’re religious, aren’t they?”
“It’s ingrained in them. Do you want another coffee?”
“Please.” I studied her as she worked, then I mused, “I heard something myself.”
“What?”
“They want to use your bakery as a front?”
She smiled at me over her shoulder. “Yes. Silent investors and royalties on my recipes. I’ll be cashing in shortly.”
“Do you intend on leaving Finn?”
Her eyes widened in genuine surprise. “Jesus, no.”
The tension that had been gathering in my shoulders since I’d overheard Conor and Finn’s conversation last night started to disperse.
“What made you think that?”
“Because that’s what women do. They squirrel money away and then take off in the middle of the night. What Finn did… I’m not saying he doesn’t deserve to be abandoned, but Conor loves you. Like a sister. A true sister. I’d hate for him to get hurt.”
Aoife’s gaze softened. “You love him, don’t you?”
“I do.” My smile was tight. “I’m still not sure what to do with it, but it’s there and it seems to be growing. I’d say it was like cancer, but I don’t think you’re supposed to classify love as a deadly disease.”
Her brows arched. “No, you’re not. With your past, though, I suppose it could be forgiven. Conor told me once you were a spy?”
I grunted.
“In that line of work, it’s not like love would serve a purpose. If anything, I’d imagine it was an inconvenience.”
“Yes,” I choked out, taken aback by her understanding.
“You’ll come to find it’s less of a cancer eventually and more…” She blinked. “Like when you’ve had a vaccine and it stops you from catching a deadly disease.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Trust me. It grows on you with time.” She turned to make me another coffee. “And I won’t hurt Conor. Or Finn. I love him.
"Did he let me down? Yes. Did he choose Lena over me? He did. But…” She sucked in a breath. “She was his mother. His only source of stability in an ever-changing world as a boy where he’d learned that family could and would do heinous things to him.
“She represented hope and love, protection and support. When it came out, he chose me, and in the future, I know he’ll keep on choosing me.
“So, using Ellie's Bakery as a front is very fortuitous because I’ll make a hell of a lot of money, and if Jake decides he wants nothing to do with the Five Points, I’ll be able to bankroll him with my personal funds.” She shot me a smile as she set the now-full coffee mug in front of me. “Savannah talks a lot about women having their own bank accounts, and it’s always been important to me. Finn has had a joint account for us since the beginning, and I know that I can buy whatever I want?—”
“But nothing beats knowing you earned that cash and that it’s yours and that no one can question what you do with it,” I finished for her.
She nodded. “Exactly. So, no, I’m not going to leave. I just like to have a backup plan because Finn, if he’d had a choice, would never have gone into the Five Points.
“What Jake chooses to do is down to him, and no one will influence his decision.”
“From one momma bear to another,” I said easily as I raised my mug for her to tap with her own, “I approve this message.”
We shared a smile.
Friendship took time, but we’d sowed the foundations of a relationship together.
And not just for Conor’s sake, either.
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