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TEXT CHAT

PAST

Star: Are you angry with your da for cheating on your mom?

Conor: Honestly?

Star: Why would I want you to lie?

Conor: Fair point. Lol.

Conor: No. I’m not mad.

Star: Why not? You love your ma, don’t you?

Conor: I do. Even if she is a headcase.

Star: To be honest, raising all those boys probably did most of the legwork in making her insane.

Conor: True. ;) I, of course, was a saint, but I’m thinking that being kidnapped by Aryans was more of an issue.

Star: :/ Forgot about that.

Conor: It’s not your truth. Some days, it’s easy to forget. It was so long ago. But that’s the thing about trauma, isn’t it? You never know what’ll make it rear its ugly head.

Star: Very true.

Star: I can’t listen to music during sex.

Conor: It’s a trigger?

Star: Makes me angry.

Conor: Okay. Note to self: never listen to music around Lodestar.

Star: Lol. You can at some points, just not sex.

Conor: Meaning…?

Star: ^^

Conor: O.O

Conor: Moving on… Do you mind me asking why it’s a trigger?

Star: I don’t mind. We’re sharing, aren’t we?

Conor: Sharing IS caring.

Star: Uh huh.

Star: It doesn’t have anything to do with being a sex slave, ironically enough. This started a long time ago.

Star: My mom had died and my dad derailed. The record company tried to get him to cancel this massive tour they were doing but he refused.

Conor: Noxxfest?

Star: Of course you know that lol.

Conor: I was pissed that Da wouldn’t let me go. Plus, I remember when Gerry Sullivan derailed.

Star: Yup. He was stoned out of his mind most of the time. I lost him then, I think. That was like the first phase of us pulling away from each other.

Conor: I’m sorry.

Star: Don’t be. Shit doesn’t always work out.

Conor: You’ve lost a lot of people.

Star: That’s just how it is with me. I probably could have gotten a job at Walmart and I’d have figured out a way to alienate the people around me.

Conor: I think you’re too hard on yourself.

Star: I think it’s sweet that YOU think so.

Conor: We don’t always have to believe in ourselves, but it’s nice that those who matter can believe in us FOR us.

Star: Maybe. Anyway, there was a code I had to learn.

Conor: Like a computer code? Alarm code?

Star: No. If he was playing a certain album, he was fucking a roadie.

Conor: Is it bad that I want to know which album?

Star: Probably. It was Sweet Satan Pie.

Conor: That’s a sick album.

Star: For me, it’s sick but it hits differently lol.

Conor: :/

Star: Hot Fuxx Sunday meant he was getting high. Usually on shit that made his tour bus stink like an opium den.

Conor: Jesus. Were you traveling with him ?

Star: I was supposed to, but I spent a lot of time on Savannah’s bus.

Conor: That must have been a tight fit.

Star: It was. But we made it work. Her family has always been like my family too. Well, it used to be.

Conor: Why did you guys fall out?

Star: So many reasons.

Star: Dad only got clean because of Dagger and Lorelei.

Conor: Not you?

Star: No.

Conor: Damn. How come?

Star: They helped him. I guess I didn’t.

Conor: Meaning?

Star: I used to get mad at him. We’d argue like crazy and had screaming matches that’d have all the roadies freezing in fear because Dad had a temper and I inherited it.

Conor: I’m surprised there wasn’t more gossip.

Star: noxxious’s management had the staff on tour under NDAs more iron-clad than a medieval nun’s chastity belt.

Conor: Makes sense with that kind of shit going down.

Star: Yeah, but it was from the good old days. Pre-Mom, that was how Dad rolled. I just didn’t know that until I walked in on him having a fucking orgy with three groupies.

Conor: Jesus!!

Star: Hmm. It’s great being a rock star, doncha know?

Conor: But he let you walk in on that?

Star: I should have learned the code earlier.

Conor: Babe, you really fucking shouldn’t have to learn a code to go and see your dad. And that’s me. ME saying that. I was more likely to walk in on Da torturing someone than fucking someone, but he still didn’t let me walk in on that shit. He did it in places where his kids couldn’t witness him be that way until he wanted us in the life.

Star: That’s the first time you’ve called me ‘babe.’

Conor: Nah.

Star: I think it is.

Conor: How do you feel about it?

Star: I don’t loathe it.

Conor: Lol. Good?

Star: Do I have to develop a name for you? Connywon?

Conor: LMAO. Um. NOoooPpe. *pukes*

Star: :P

Conor: You could, you know, call me babe back. Or sweetheart.

Star: We’ll see.

**Five minutes later**

Conor: Star, I’m sorry you had to go through that shit. I’m sorry he let you down.

Star: People let you down, Conor. That’s what they do. I learned from the best.

Conor: Not all people. I won’t let you down.

Star: You know what’s crazy?

Conor: What?

Star: I actually believe you.