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CONOR

“How the fuck could you let her run away, Maverick?”

Rubbing a finger down the bridge of my nose, I watched as Star’s temper hit peaks and troughs throughout the conversation with the biker, where I found myself both amused at seeing the momma bear in action and turned on by the defense of her kid.

How couldn’t a man like myself react to that spike in temper?

The child in me, who’d been failed, loved to see her fight for Katina. Even as she’d defended Maverick’s inability to corral her kid in the face of her fear for Star, it didn’t stop her from ripping him a new asshole.

“Look, Star?—”

“No, I won’t fucking look . I left her with you,” she snarled. “You know what that means? She was your mission. You failed, Maverick. You fucking failed her, and you failed me.”

“I know. I’m sorry?—”

“Sorry wouldn’t have saved her from some pedophile creep who could have taken advantage of her!”

“This could have ended a thousand times worse than it did and that fucking kills me, but I can’t cuff her to a chair?—”

“I’m not asking you to cuff her to a chair! Just, you know, for her not to head to Manhattan while your back is turned. Mission. Goddamn. Failure.”

“I know! I’m really fucking sorry, Star. It won’t happen again.”

“How do you know that? How can I trust that?”

“I’ve set protocol in place. She got out by sneaking into one of the housekeeper’s vehicles. The guards know to check?—”

“Why weren’t they already?”

“It was an oversight. One we both missed. Link too.” That gave her pause because she stopped sniping at him as he continued, “The threat of her going MIA is low now that she knows where you are.” Maverick sighed. “I hate to say it, Star, because I know I screwed up, but the change in her when you stopped calling was immense.”

“I was taken captive, Maverick,” she said wearily, some of her ire having diminished, but it didn’t stop her from countering, “What would you have preferred for me to do? Tell my jailor that he was ignoring the Geneva Conventions? Maybe I should have thrown my lot in with Amnesty International. Do you think they’d have helped? Oh, wait, I didn’t have access to them either.

“I left her with family. With people who love her. Who want to keep her safe. More than that, I left her with you . You had my back in the sandbox. You knew what it meant when I left the only thing that matters to me in your care.

“Yes, I fucked up. Yes, I’m sorry about that. You’ve no idea how much it hurts me to know that I scared her. She’s lost so much already and I never intended on letting her down?—

“You’re a mom now. That changes everything. You can’t just head out like you did in the past. That’s not how it works.”

“Fuck. You. You know what I’m working toward. I’m trying to stop women like your Old Lady,” she spat even though his tone hadn’t been argumentative, “from ever being hurt again. I’m stopping these bastards from ever getting their hands on women they think will slip between the cracks and using and abusing them.

“You think you had it rough, Maverick? I know you’ve been to hell and back, but you have no idea what Alessa, Amara, and myself have gone through. Never mind the fuck knows how many women the Sparrows have trafficked over the years. Those women are who I’m fighting for. Kat’s goddamn mother was among that unknown number.

“I didn’t fuck off to Mexico for some winter sun and a spa treatment. I went to change the world so that it’s a better place for my kid.”

By the end of that speech, she was breathing heavily and Maverick was silent.

I didn’t need to fight Star’s battles for her, but I approached her with caution and gently slid my hands up her arms when she didn’t shove me aside.

As I reached her biceps, I drew her against me, letting her rest her forehead on my chest instead of leaving her to stare blankly at the wall of windows beyond. Her shudder as she burrowed into me made me gladder for thinking to comfort her.

She was so strong that it was easy to think she didn’t need that. But things were different with me, weren’t they?

Miserably, Maverick stated, “I’m sorry, Star. I’m so fucking sorry.”

“I don’t need you to say sorry,” she whispered. “I need you to make sure my daughter is safe.”

The breath he released was audible. “Star, she is . She knows where you are now.

“You’re raising a kid who isn’t afraid to wade into the fray for the people she loves. You are the person she loves. Sure, she cares for Alessa and me, but you are her mom . You’re raising a little lioness and those kinds of people don’t back down.

“Can you tell me, if the roles were reversed and you were Kati and you thought that O’Donnelly guy would help bring your mom home, that you wouldn’t sneak out too?”

She was quiet for so long that I knew she was trying to figure out how to say no without actually saying the word. Then, she gave up trying and huffed. “No.”

As my lips curved, Maverick diplomatically reasoned, “Don’t be surprised when she pulls these stunts. She might come across like an elephant-footed fairy, stomping on people’s toes and accidentally kicking them as she does a cartwheel, but she’s a smart kid who isn’t afraid to do what needs to be done—in this instance, that was bringing you home.

“We did figure out how she left, and I plugged in the gap in our security. Even if she tried, it won’t happen again, but I’m telling you, the reason for her leaving is done with so she’s safe and you don’t need to worry.

“Now, with that being said, that doesn’t mean I’m not worrying. What the fuck went down? Who held you captive?”

I rubbed a hand down her back, surprised that she let me comfort her, yet also not . Star was starved of affection and I didn’t think she even knew it. She was so hemmed in that it was a wonder she could breathe freely.

As she gave Maverick a surprisingly in-depth rundown of what had happened and the deal she’d struck with Kuznetsov, I listened and just held her.

Supporting without interfering.

My brothers would have yanked the phone away from their wives, would have wanted to fight her war for her, but that wasn’t what Star needed. Me running roughshod over her life was the last thing she required of me. But I’d never met anyone more in need of someone to have her back, and I’d be that for her until the day I fucking died.

When Maverick cut the call, she released a heavy breath and sagged into me as if that had drained her dry of every ounce of energy she possessed.

“We should eat,” I said, gently stroking my hand over her hair.

“I think I’d prefer a bottle of tequila.”

“That can be arranged,” I teased.

Her nose crinkled as she pulled back to look at me. “We can’t afford to have hangovers. We need to get started.”

“Technically, we have started.”

“You and I both know that’s the tip of the iceberg.” She bit her lip. “Do you think he’s right?”

“To blame you?” I shook my head. “You were both in an untenable situation. And, to be frank, if you didn’t need to be here, I don’t think you would be. I think you’d be with her.”

“Of course, I would,” she whispered. “When I first started this, I did it for myself. I needed vengeance. I needed payback. But with every woman I uncovered who was forced into that way of life, it became about more than just me.” For the first time, she stepped away from me. Reaching up to rub her forehead, she mumbled, “So much suffering, Conor. I don’t want to sacrifice a moment away from my kid, but I have to because there are women out there who are still where I was.

“I got out but they weren’t so lucky, and I can’t handle that. The weight on my conscience is too much for me to bear.”

“We’ll bear the load together,” I told her simply. “We deal with this, we bring them down, and then, and only then, will we grab a bottle of tequila each and get hammered.”

Her lips quirked. “I can’t imagine you drunk.”

“I’ve been told I’m a happy drunk.”

“Why does that not surprise me? You’re always happy.”

I shook my head. “I’m not. You just bring it out in me.”

She sucked her bottom lip between her teeth. “Thank you for being here.”

“You don’t have to keep on thanking me.”

“I do.” Her eyes narrowed. “Got it?”

“Got it,” I drawled, amused.

“I will eat but only because I need to get my strength back up. I didn’t trust that the food I was being served wasn’t poisoned.”

“Want breakfast for dinner?”

“Considering it’s dinner time here, sure. Why not? Let’s rebel,” she joked.

So, we ordered the works and a half-hour later, Edgar delivered the feast to the suite.

As we sank around the table again, I watched her stuff bacon between two slices of bread. “We forgot to ask for lettuce, tomato, and mayo.”

“Nah. I don’t need it.” At my look of surprise, she shrugged. “I spent a lot of time in London. They have bacon on its own with brown sauce. It’s like A1 sauce.”

“I’ll have to try it.”

“It’s the best.”

She finished stacking pieces of bacon into the sandwich, drizzled ketchup over it, then took a bite. Her sigh of repletion went straight to my cock, but I ignored it.

Being aroused around her was the standard now.

I’d have to control it at some point.

“How come you spent a lot of time in London?”

“BDSec is based there.”

“Really? I thought it was Berlin.”

“Nah. They have it routed from there as a double-blind.” She chomped on the sandwich. “You heard of the Four Horsemen?”

I riffled through my memory banks. “Four cousins who pretty much run London, correct?

“Yeah, all thirty-two boroughs of the city are under their control.” She reached for her coffee. “I came across their ‘head of IT,’ and we became friendly. That was CIA-related.”

Snorting, I started to pick at the toast I’d buttered a few moments ago. “Head of IT as a job title for a criminal enterprise?”

“Right? Talk about understating someone’s role in the business. Anyway, she was… I don’t even know why, but after I escaped my owner, she was who I ran to.”

“Why do you think you did?”

“I was in Cologne at the time and I wanted to get across the English Channel. Putting an ocean between—” She cleared her throat. “Anyway, distance felt like a good idea.

“When I arrived in Dover, I had nowhere to go, and though I had cash, I knew I needed help. Because of her ties to the Four Horsemen, she was the first person I could think of.

“She and her partner, Minerva, took me under their wings and helped me get myself together. I was a wreck back then. The autonomy he’d stolen from me, Conor, was insane. It took me a month to stop asking to use the restroom and another couple of months to stop asking for permission to eat.”

Defiantly, she took a large bite of her sandwich and closed her eyes as if remembering the times when she didn’t have the freedom to do that.

Her words robbed me of speech, mostly because I couldn’t imagine anyone doing that to her. She was Star Sullivan. A force to be reckoned with. A powerhouse that would make the earth quake beneath her feet by the time she was done with her mission.

“What happened?” I asked, my voice raw.

“We started working together to bring down the Sparrows.” She tipped her head to the side as she studied me. “What happened with Temper, Conor?”

My nose crinkled at the obvious change of subject. “She only fucking tasered Director Reinier in this massive boardroom at Langley.”

“And you managed to leave the building without handcuffs?”

“She called in Brothers who helped us get out. She said they were going to kill me.”

“What were you even there for?”

My brow puckered as a thought occurred to me. “I can’t believe I didn’t put two and two together, to be honest. I’m not a part of this Jorgmundgander BS, but the US clearly has its own program. I’m in it. That’s why I didn’t go to jail for all the shit I did as a kid.

“And, when I got to Langley, I met a bunch of coders who were working on this top-secret messaging platform for the Secret Service.”

“Under the same restrictions as you?”

“Indentured servants for the state, yeah,” I grumbled.

“I don’t know how you kept any of this from your family,” she muttered.

“I never left the US anyway. It isn’t like we get to vacation often, Star. Plus, the government facilitated the secrecy of it all. I don’t think they wanted my family to know either.”

“Why?”

“Because I could have been viewed as a traitor and everyone knew what Da’s reaction would have been to that. So, it was either protect me and keep me alive or throw me to the wolves and let me be eaten.”

Her brow puckered. “I hate that you were in danger.”

“You think I don’t feel the same way about you?”

Her gaze dropped to her half-eaten sandwich. “True. They wanted to see if you could crack the platform?”

“Yeah. It was so fucking easy. I swear, working with you has streamlined my work. I tore it to shreds without your worm?—”

“Maverick’s worm,” she corrected.

“—and did it in record time. According to Temper, however, the plan was for me not to crack it then for me to be killed to keep it under wraps.”

“Sounds like a plan the Sparrows would concoct.”

“Well, Reinier is a Sparrow. So it’s on brand for him.”

She snickered. “Fair. Wonder if the other coders were under threat, too.”

I shrugged. “Maybe. Apparently, they wanted another coder to take my place.”

“Why?”

“Temperance didn’t say.”

“How did you leave Langley?”

“By helicopter. I don’t think I’m cut out for espionage.”

“That’s not a bad thing. It’s a fucking awful line of work.”

“Why get into it then?”

“You know why. Mom.”

“Why follow in her footsteps when it killed her?”

“Do you know the story of how my parents met?”

“Of course.” I rolled my eyes. “It’s like you choose not to understand how dedicated I was to the band. Anyway, noxxious was in Madrid, weren’t they? For a festival, right?” At her faintly amused nod, I continued, “The band got into a fight and were arrested. Because they were VIPs, the US ambassador green-lit them out of jail and took them to the embassy so they were ‘on US soil.’”

“Biggest load of bull crap going. The injustice was unreal. Marc broke someone’s jaw,” she grumbled. “And he didn’t even get arrested for aggravated assault or anything.”

While she was dissing one of the greatest drummers alive, I continued, “When they were in the embassy, your mom was there.”

She sniffed. “One look and he had to have her. Luckily for him, the feeling was mutual, but we know that his infatuation was genuine. Hers… not so much.”

“Did he know she was CIA?”

“Nope. He just thought she worked for the embassy. She perpetuated that belief.”

“What made the truth come out?”

“Tequila,” she said with a snort as she raised her coffee cup to me in a mocking toast. “When I found out, I was fascinated. Then, after she died, it consumed me. The injustice of it.”

I cupped her hand. “You’ve always fought for injustice.”

“You make it sound like I was being courageous. As with most things me-related, it was forged in anger and bitterness.”

“You can change that, Star. It doesn’t have to be like that forever.”

She bit her lip. “How do you teach an old dog new tricks?”

“Firstly, you’re not an ‘old dog.’ Secondly, these aren’t new tricks. If you want a better life, if you want to stop feeling so bitter about the past, that’s something you can change. If you are ready for that.”

I allowed the notion to linger as I finished up my breakfast. Maybe it’d help, maybe she’d ignore it, but I had to try.

She was angry.

She was bitter.

And did she but know it, her letting go of both would be a solid step on the path to earning my forgiveness for her involvement in Da’s murder.

Only when she let go of the past would she open up to working as a pair and not on her own, only then would she really be free to be with me, and that was something I’d never stop fighting for.