Page 66 of Kai (Alpha Heroes #13)

Kai

“Cece!” I cried out as she went overboard along with the merc.

Ignoring the pain of the wound that had grazed my shoulder, I ran to the railing and scoured the ocean for signs of her. Nothing. Fuck Levine. Damn the fickle ocean. Curse the sea gods who’d betrayed me once more.

“Not again,” I implored, squinting into the dark waters. “Not Cece. Please, not her.”

That’s when the asshole rocketed up, and clinging to the railing, took another shot at me.

I leaped out of the way just in time. The round whistled past me, not an inch from my nose, but the fucker wasn’t done. He raised a beefy hand, grabbed a line, and pulled himself up higher, shooting some more. I rolled away from his line of fire and came to a crouch behind the outdoor kitchen.

Fucking asshole. Was he even human? Nine lives weren’t enough for this animal. I didn’t have the time to deal with the beast. Cece was in the water. With her hands tied. Terrified. Drowning.

Like Malia.

The water was where I needed to be.

I peeked out of the corner.

“You killed her,” Levine roared, balancing on the other side of the railing, blinking the blood off his broken face, and lifting his gun yet again, looking for me. “You stole her from me!”

As psychos came, Levine topped the charts, but I didn’t have time for his shit. My muscles coiled to pounce. No mercy. Cece wasn’t the only who had her martial arts down. Krav Maga was as lethal.

As Levine climbed over the railing, I bolted out in front of him.

Surprising him with a burst of speed, I landed on my guard, stepped forward, and lifted my rear leg.

Bending my knee, I chambered my leg and snapped it forward with all the violence my body could unleash.

The top of my foot hit the brute’s right hand. Crack. His bones crunched.

The gun flew. Pivoting on my foot, I whirled, chambered my leg again, and giving the fucker no quarter and no time to attack, delivered another powerful roundhouse kick, this time to his head.

The man staggered, pitched forward, and dropped. A quick check showed me that the beast was still breathing. Too bad, and yet every second that passed counted. Every moment brought me anguish, knowing I might never see Cece again.

I also knew what she’d want me to do, how she’d want me to honor her efforts.

I raced to the cabin, grabbed the syringe, and after returning to the downed motherfucker, stabbed him in the neck and pushed the plunger all the way.

Pressed for time, I threw open the spare anchor hatch, tossed him inside, then shut the hatch, secured the lock, and jammed the handle for good measure.

“Cece!” I shouted as loud as I could as I raced into the cabin, pushed a button, and dropped the anchor. “Cece, over here!” I yelled while I turned all the boat’s lights on. If Cece could see the catamaran, I had a chance to find her.

I kept shouting her name as I donned my gear and pulled out my whistle from the front pocket. Racing death, I got on my surfboard, grabbed the oar, and began paddling. All the while, I blew the whistle in my mouth.

The memories of another search in a different life clouded my head and brought a sob to my throat, but I swallowed it.

The ocean gives, and the ocean takes , I’d told Cece.

It’s the rule of the sea. I willed the Pacific to be in a giving mood tonight.

I’d barely survived Malia and Leilani’s deaths. If Cece died, I was done.

“Remember your basics, Sorceress,” I muttered to myself as I paddled frantically, sweeping the surface with my flashlight. “Don’t panic. Don’t give up. I’m coming.”

I wasn’t a fool. I knew my chances of finding Cece were slim to none, but I had to try.

No , I told myself. I had to succeed or die trying.

***

Cece

Down, down I went, resigned to my fate. Perhaps my destiny had been to drown on the day I jumped from the yacht. Nix had thwarted my death. Now the ocean had claimed me once again, and, this time, Nix wasn’t around.

I’d understood my dismal chances the moment I’d made my choice, when I’d decided that the only way Kai would survive the night was if I got Levine off Serenity , regardless of what it entailed.

I was still learning to swim, and my hands were tied behind my back, and yet drowning was the risk I’d had to take.

Now that I was in the water, I closed my eyes to shield myself from the terrors of the deep.

The milliseconds passed slowly against the black canvas of my eyelids. It was as if time had gotten bogged down in an ocean of thick molasses.

I guess death likes to take its sweet time. I snarked at the specter of the Grim Reaper. Can’t you make it faster, you fucking idiot?

This didn’t feel fast at all. In fact, it felt excruciatingly slow, like a painstaking process, especially as I held my breath and was now trapped in my head, the only place I’d once feared more than the water.

I reminded myself that I had chosen this end with my faculties intact, without the meddlesome influence of the emotions that had once dominated me—rage, despair, and misery. If I had to die so that Kai survived, then the whole dying thing was worth it.

Kai .

Even as I sank, my heart swelled with the memories of his kindness, bravery, and affection.

He’d been so worth the experiment. He’d taught me love, shown me I could love him back, and allowed me to dream of a future I’d never even considered for myself.

He’d helped me realize that my past didn’t have to define me; that strong could be gentle and easy could be powerful; that kindness could be passion, passion could be freedom, and lust could turn to love.

The grief of our parting hit me as my ears popped and my lungs strained.

I stretched out my last breath. The air I’d trapped in my lungs would not keep me alive forever.

A tide of sorrow enveloped me. It pulled on me as strongly as the underwater currents that carried me away.

I had many regrets in life, but the ones that got me at the end were recent.

I’d never be able to kiss Kai again, touch him, make love to him, talk to him, sleep cuddled by his side, or bask in his smiles.

I regretted that I’d never be part of his future and that I wouldn’t be there to watch him parent that little girl he saw in his dreams. Hell, I even hated that the swimming lessons were over, and that I would never learn to meditate by his side.

Would he relive the trauma of Malia and Leilani’s loss?

I hope not. I didn’t want him to wander the world in mourning again.

He’d accepted he wasn’t to blame. He was resilient.

Wise. Kai wasn’t alone. He had Dash, my sisters, and Tracker Team to keep him going.

He was a fighter and a survivor, like I’d been.

The darkness within me raised its ugly head. Did anything you accomplished in life matter? Is Kai even alive right now? What if Dickface shot him dead? Savior complex, anyone?

Live, Kai. Live . I willed him to go on. We honor our losses with our lives .

Kai was strong. He was a creature of light and learning, and even though he was human, and a work in progress—as I’d learned we all were—he was the best of us, the one most likely to bring peace and joy to this world.

I knew because he’d done it for me.

I felt lucky. I’d gotten to know and love him, even if our time together had been short. So, yeah. I was lucky, even though I was drowning.

You’re so weird, Astor .

I kept my lips and nose locked to the water. When an involuntary gasp shook my body, I figured that whatever oxygen I’d been able to store in my lungs was running out. I had no concept of time, but if I was still alive, perhaps I’d been under for less than a minute.

A minute was the average time a fit person could hold her breath. Two minutes was a stretch, but it was possible. I felt as if I’d been sinking for an hour. My last breath had been a good one.

My lungs demanded air. Instead, they got a trickle of water when a reflexive need to inhale betrayed me.

My life flashed in front of me—Mom’s face the last time we’d tended her roses together in her garden; Thena’s proud smile when I won my first tournament; Missy’s adoration when I beat up the boarding school bullies that tormented her.

Affie’s contagious giggles as she made fun of my heavy textbooks, my reading glasses, and my boorish pursuits, daring me to come out to play with her, to have fun; Dash’s sober wisdom and unconditional support. And Nix, my dear Nix, my soul twin.

As my body shuddered, my reflexes threatened to take over. I bit down on my lips, and yet water leaked through my nostrils. The foul taste of saltwater coated my mouth, throat, and stomach.

Couldn’t make it pleasant, could you? I cursed once more at the Grim Reaper, swimming all around me like a hungry shark.

Hallucinations. Yep. Lack of oxygen to the brain was making me experience death delusions.

Fuck me and my love of science. I could narrate the details of my biological death down to the smallest cell in my body.

Once I aspirated too much water, I had forty seconds left before my lungs failed and oxygen deprivation stopped my heart.

How much longer could I last?

My death would be a solitary event, consistent with the last three years of my life, minus the time I’d spent with Kai.

Woman-up, Astor. You always took care of yourself, and you’ve always tackled your problems alone. Why would your death be any different?

A light shone through my closed eyelids.

My oxygen-hungry body spasmed again. My eyes opened.

A faint glimmer formed before me. The point of light was a gorgeous tone of green, almost emerald.

To my shock, pixels of black and red speckled the center of the circle.

And then, because my brain was working on emergency power and my life had just flashed before my eyes, the circle in the center widened to show me… what else?

The picture on the photo box. The one of my family and me. Was this a last gift from the universe?

The light gathered around Nix’s form. At first, I couldn’t hear anything, but then I made out Nix’s soft voice whispering in my ear.

Cece, do something, he whispered in my head. You’re dying.

Don’t I know it, brother. I wasn’t surprised he’d be the one to come to me in my last moments. Are you here to welcome me?

Welcome you where? he asked, his voice impatient but also curious.

Heaven, Hell, Nirvana, Valhalla, wherever you are. That’s where I want to go.

Don’t even think about joining me, he spat tersely .

Why not? I gave a mental shrug . If I’m going to die, I might as well be dead with you.

What the fuck do you think you’re doing? he snapped. Didn’t we talk about this?

We did, but I promise, this time around, I did it for all the right reasons.

Cece, you must live, he growled like the grump he could be at times. I need you to survive.

Sorry, brother. Not looking good at the moment.

Cece! He barked. Don’t you give up on me.

I can’t swim, Nix. Remember? You’re not around. I’m done this time.

Fuck that. You’re a fighter, for fuck’s sake. You don’t give up. The fight is far from over.

What do you mean?

They’re coming, he whispered .

Who’s coming?

You made me a promise , he ground out . I need you to keep it.

But—

He taught you how to swim. He spoke quickly now, with urgency . I saw it.

Are you spying on me from wherever? I deadpanned.

I’m serious, Cece. He loves you. I saw that too. Will you give him up without a fight? Will you give me up?

It’s different this time—

It’s not. You’re giving up. I’m tired, Cece. I can’t— His voice grew distant, and I couldn’t make out what he was saying.

Don’t go! I called out in my mind. Don’t leave me alone, please.

I can’t be there. His voice flickered . Think of him. What did he teach you?

Love. Hope. How to swim a little.

What would he say to you right now? Nix demanded.

Panic is the enemy of success. Kai’s voice replaced Nix’s in my head. Kick, kick, kick. You’ve got strong legs, Cece. You can do it.

But I’m drowning. Couldn’t Nix understand? I’m fated to drown.

What if we are each other’s fate ? It was Kai again . What if we can build our destiny together?

Dying was sure a hallucinatory experience. All those nerves firing their last neurons—

Cece, go! Nix ordered, his tone urgent and pissed. Now!

Go where?

Up! Nix shouted as his voice grew even more distant . Go up!

Kick, kick, kick. It was Kai again, using his firm swimming instructor tone . You can do this. I challenge you to kick. Swim toward the surface, Sorceress. Do it for us.

The two pushy males startled me into action. They were the most influential men in my life. In the weirdest way, I wasn’t alone anymore. But… where the hell was up?

I tilted my head every which way and saw nothing but darkness.