Page 9 of Is This Real or Just Pretend?

Alex suggested Lucien take the evening to think things over before they parted ways. Then she went back to the main house, but he had no desire to linger at the edges of the party any longer.

After checking on his father and finding him fast asleep, Lucien collapsed onto his old bed.

But despite his exhaustion, he spent most of the night in a restless haze, dozing off only to wake again moments later.

It wasn’t until close to dawn that he eventually drifted to sleep.

And when he finally dreamed, it was of her. Of Alex.

You need to go somewhere far, far away from here.

It was another night. Another birthday party for Mrs. Atkinson.

Only Lucien was five years younger and his heart was breaking.

As he sat in the oak tree outside his window, he watched Freddie lead a man into the summer house.

Then he waited as long as he could stand to, praying with a fervor he didn’t know he possessed. But they didn’t come out.

Half blind with tears and sorrow, he clambered down the tree and fell to his knees in a wretched heap.

Lucien always knew there was little chance that Freddie would ever love him back, but he hadn’t realized how fiercely he had clung to that little sliver of hope until it was wrenched from his arms. Now it was over and he was lost. He was so mired in his own misery that he didn’t hear the sound of footsteps. Only felt a hand on his shoulder.

Alex’s stern face, ghostly pale in the moonlight, stared down at him while humiliation burned his skin.

It wasn’t enough to watch the girl of his dreams abscond with another man.

No, he had to be caught crying over it in the dirt beside a hedge.

But he hadn’t needed to breathe a word of it to Alex. Somehow she just knew.

Where you can be whomever you want…

He had forgotten the glimmer of sympathy in her dark eyes. His anger began to slowly fade then, replaced by understanding. By possibility.

“Wake up, my boy.” His father’s voice echoed through his mind, as if it came from a great distance. It seemed to drag him to the surface of consciousness, but the realization came along with him.

Alex had seen something in him that night.

Seen him in a way Freddie never had. Lucien slowly blinked awake and winced.

The curtains had been thrown back and the room was awash in morning sunlight.

His father hovered in the doorway staring at him anxiously.

Before he could ruminate on the strangeness of the situation, alarm shot through him.

Lucien sat up. “What is it? What’s happened?”

But his father crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. “I was hoping you could tell me.”

“What?” He squinted, both in confusion and because the room was so damned bright.

“Oh, Leonard. Give the boy a moment, will you?” Mrs. Holloway called out from the kitchen. “I’ve brought over some breakfast. Come when you’re ready, Lucien,” she added.

His father gave him a warning look. “Mrs. Holloway has to get back to the house. Some of us can’t lay abed all day.”

Lucien rubbed his face. Judging from the sunlight, it couldn’t be much later than nine o’clock. But to a man like his father, it might as well be noon. “I’ll be right there.”

“Five minutes,” he warned, then closed the door and shuffled back down the hall.

Lucien rushed through his toilette and threw on the crumpled trousers and shirt he’d worn the night before.

When he entered the kitchen, his father was sitting at the table with Mrs. Holloway, an impressive spread of breakfast items before them while they whispered to each other and shared an intimate smile.

The tender scene filled him with unexpected warmth.

When Lucien’s mother had died nearly ten years before, his father had been so broken for so long.

But now it was a relief to see him happy again and to know that he had someone to watch over him when Lucien would inevitably leave once more.

They both looked up and his father immediately frowned.

“Sit, please,” he said sternly and pointed to the chair across from him.

Lucien automatically lowered his head, as if he had been caught in an act of boyhood mischief.

Still, he dutifully obeyed. But Mrs. Holloway was all smiles as she poured him a cup of tea and passed him a plate loaded with teacakes and currant buns.

Lucien murmured his thanks and took a sip.

“So,” his father prompted. “How long have you two been carrying on?” Lucien set down the teacup, genuinely puzzled, but before he could answer, his father continued: “Is that why you came back? It’s fine if it is, but I don’t understand why you never said anything.

Did you think I couldn’t keep it to myself?

” His agitation grew with each word until Mrs. Holloway placed a gentle hand on his arm.

“Leonard. Let him explain. You’ll work yourself into a fit.” Then she fixed Lucien with a pleading look. “Go on, love.”

His eyes darted between them. “I’m sorry, but I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about.”

They fell into a stunned silence until his father could take no more.

“You’re courting Alexandra Atkinson!”

Lucien went still. “Where did you hear that?”

His father made a chortling sound. “Where didn’t we hear it? My God, the whole estate has been twittering about it since last night.”

Lucien’s hands tightened on the hard edges of the chair.

So much for having the evening to think it over.

Alex certainly worked quickly. She must have spread the news herself so he wouldn’t have the chance to back out.

Or explain himself to Freddie first. He let out a huff.

The woman was diabolical. The vulnerability.

The nervousness. The hesitation. It had all been an act.

And one that he had completely fallen for.

Lucien would not make that mistake again.

“Well? Aren’t you going to say anything?” his father pressed. “At least tell us how it happened.”

“I… I can’t really explain it,” Lucien said with a strange little laugh and shook his head. There. That was the truth, at least.

A kind of understanding flickered in his father’s eyes as he sat back in his chair. “Then it’s true,” he murmured.

Lucien stared at him. He hadn’t really considered all that this agreement would require of him.

I will introduce you to my contacts in London and help you secure investors.

It could be even bigger than before.

You’ll need to court me. Publicly.

And in exchange, he would have to lie to everyone in his life.

Lucien released a breath. He could end this right now. Claim it was only a silly rumor. A misunderstanding that had gotten out of hand. But then he would be back where he started. With nothing. And as much as he would have liked to deny Alex and her underhandedness, he needed this more.

He nodded. Just once.

His father slowly inhaled then broke into a dazzling grin and playfully batted his arm. “You knave! And here I was all worried over Miss Winifred.”

“Oh, but this is a much better match,” Mrs. Holloway unhelpfully added.

Lucien cleared his throat and managed to swallow the urge to demand just what the hell that meant. “It’s very early days,” he said instead. “I’d rather not say too much right now.” And certainly not before he spoke with Alex herself.

However, his father and Mrs. Holloway were far too excited to be deterred by something so reasonable as prudence.

“It is highly unconventional, of course,” Mrs. Holloway said diplomatically. “But given Miss Alexandra’s lack of suitors, I can’t imagine the master and mistress will be too much concerned.”

His father laughed. “They’re probably breaking out the champagne as we speak!” Then he shot Lucien a sheepish look. “Oh. Sorry, my boy. I didn’t mean—”

“It’s fine,” he replied tightly. “I am aware of our respective places in society as well as her… reputation. And as far as I know, her parents are supportive.”

Mrs. Holloway and his father exchanged looks of relief, then launched into a discussion of his and Alex’s various attributes as well as the compatibility of each.

“They are both so clever,” Mrs. Holloway began. “Though she is quite serious.”

“But that’s just it, my dear. Perhaps our Lucien brings out her lightheartedness,” his father replied thoughtfully.

“Oh, excellent point, Leonard! And Miss Alexandra could use that. Poor thing spends most of her time at the office.” Then she addressed Lucien. “You must take her out dancing. And to the theater. A musical review!”

“Yes,” he said placidly, fighting the urge to laugh at the absurdity of this situation.

Did Alex dance? He certainly couldn’t remember ever seeing her in the arms of a man.

Any man. Briefly, he wondered if she even liked men.

In Paris he had met a number of women who openly preferred the company of other women.

But truthfully, Alex didn’t seem to have a preference for either sex. Or people in general.

He turned his attention back to the conversation and, to his alarm, found that Mrs. Holloway had broached the subject of potential wedding dates.

“It would have to be next spring,” she pronounced. “As there is far too much to do for Miss Phoebe’s December nuptials.” Then she cast him an appraising look. “Unless, of course, it becomes a double wedding.”

Lucien shot to his feet. “I’m going for a walk.”

Not exactly subtle, but he had listened to enough of their nonsense.

He left them planning a wedding that would never happen to a woman he was only pretending to court and headed for the one spot on the estate where he could enjoy some privacy at this hour. Lucien had a hell of a lot to think about.