Page 42 of Is This Real or Just Pretend?

Lucien extended his arm toward her bedroom and followed Alex inside.

He had expected her room to be like her office, stark and empty, but this was nearly the opposite.

The high walls were covered in a beautiful dark floral wallpaper, the details of which he couldn’t make out in the firelight, while a thick paisley rug covered most of the floor.

Shelves filled with books and other bric-a-brac lined an entire wall, while a gilt dressing table took up space by a bed dressed in a deep red coverlet.

It was rich and regal and also quite cozy .

As Alex moved by the hearth, his gaze caught on her lovely profile lit by the flickering fire.

He watched her for a long moment, then let out a sigh of defeat as he shut the door behind him.

Dr. Mosley had been mistaken. He really was a complete and utter fool.

The door shut softly behind Lucien but Alex still couldn’t make herself turn around.

Couldn’t make herself face him and see up close the evidence of her own hubris.

She had spent the last few days burying herself in work, only leaving her room in the dead of night when she was certain Lucien was asleep and she could check on him without having to explain herself.

But perhaps that was a mistake. She had grown so used to seeing him unconscious that it had been quite a shock to find him at her door and very much awake.

“Alex,” he said, his deep voice suddenly cutting through her thoughts. “Look at me.”

She swallowed a whimper and forced herself to turn around, her hands clasped tightly at her waist. He was closer than expected and as the firelight from the hearth played over his face, Alex stared at him greedily, eagerly.

The bruising around his jaw was much improved, now a faint yellow instead of that horrible purple and blue.

He took a few steps toward her and though he still walked with a limp, it was far less noticeable than it had been just two days earlier when she caught sight of him with Freddie in the back garden.

“You’re moving better,” she noted.

Lucien frowned in confusion. “How do you know that? I haven’t seen you at all.”

Blast.

Alex opened her mouth, but she couldn’t make herself say the words. Make herself admit just how pathetic she had become.

But Lucien still seemed to understand. He moved closer and closer, his eyes fixed firmly upon her face, until he could tuck a lock of hair behind her ear. It took every bit of her strength not to press into his touch like a cat.

“Why do you insist on hiding away, Alexandra?”

Her breath caught. Alex had never particularly liked her full name.

It sounded too grand. Too regal for a woman like her.

A woman who didn’t know how to properly interact with anyone.

A woman who preferred an empty office to a ballroom.

A woman who was quite terrified of the emotions coursing inside her.

“Because,” she murmured.

“Because you think it is easier this way,” he offered.

She glanced down, which was answer enough.

He gave his head a slow shake and clicked his tongue. “But don’t you know how magnificent you are? How much we all wait for just a glimpse of you so that we might gain a bit of your attention.”

She let out a choked laugh that sounded more like a sob. “I think you are still concussed.”

He smiled at her then, that bright brilliant smile that lit up her entire body.

“I very well may be, but that doesn’t mean I’m not also right.

” Alex started to object, but he held a finger to her lips.

“I’ve spent a week in this house interacting with every single person here except for you.

And yet it is your name that is always on everyone’s lips.

Your counsel, your knowledge that everyone seeks.

I’ve seen enough to know that you are the steady, beating heart of this family.

And much like the body, a family can’t function properly if its heart is missing. ”

“Lucien—”

“It’s true,” he insisted. “Every word of it.”

As he brushed his thumb gently along the curve of her cheek, Alex was shocked to realize she was crying .

“Sorry.” She pulled away and immediately wiped at her cheeks. “I don’t know why I…”

“You don’t need to apologize for that,” Lucien said as she trailed off. “For anything.”

“I absolutely should,” Alex insisted as she stepped back. “It’s my fault you were nearly killed.”

But Lucien immediately followed. He would give her no quarter. “Given that you weren’t the large man who pummeled me, I think your fault is misplaced.”

“But I—”

“ No , Alex,” he interrupted. “I won’t let you take this on as well. You are already carrying far too much.” She very much wanted to challenge him on that, but then Lucien slid his hand around the nape of her neck and began to gently massage the muscles there. “See? You’re so tense.”

Alex’s head tilted back at his touch as warmth spread down her neck and over her shoulders.

“There. That’s it,” he murmured in approval.

It was shocking just how good this felt. How easy it would be to sink into the feeling and forget everything, but she forced herself to stay focused. “Why… why did you come here?” she managed to ask after a moment.

“Isn’t it obvious?”

Alex slitted her eyes open at the amusement in his voice. “No.”

Lucien leaned in until his lips brushed the shell of her ear. “I came here to be properly ruined. By you.”

At some point Alex had pressed her palms to his chest and now her fingertips flexed against the firm muscle beneath.

“Lucien,” she said in a terrible attempt to sound disapproving. “You aren’t well.”

“Then how come I’ve never felt better than I do at this exact moment?”

She pulled back to meet his eyes. “Because in addition to being concussed, you are delusional.”

He grinned in response and Alex felt it all the way down to her toes. “Why don’t you let me worry about that and you focus on my deflowerment.”

Alex huffed a laugh but when she began to step back, Lucien’s hands clasped firmly around her waist. The heat of his palms immediately sank into her skin.

“Tell me you don’t want me and I’ll leave this room,” he said, leaning into the crook of her neck once more. “And never bother you again.”

Before Alex could even begin to formulate a response, her traitorous body pressed against his lean form.

“It… it would be a mistake,” she said weakly. Miserably.

He pressed a tender kiss against her hair. “And yet, I have it on very good authority that Alexandra Atkinson doesn’t make mistakes.”

Alex let out a long, tortured sigh, then turned her head to meet his gaze. She didn’t have the will to deny him. Not now. “Fine. Get on the bed, you impossible man.”

“With pleasure.” He shot her a grin before practically bounding across the room—or at least as fast as his injury would allow.

She followed him at a more sedate pace, though internally her heart was galloping. Was she really going to do this?

Lucien waited for her by the bedside and as he extended his hand, she saw that his eyes were full of hope and anticipation. And need.

Oh, most definitely.

As their palms slid together, she felt the same jolt of electricity that had shot up her arm all those weeks ago. Now she understood, without a doubt, that it had been mutual attraction. He drew her close and tilted his head to kiss her, but Alex began unbuttoning his shirt instead.

Lucien let out a soft chuckle. “Right to it, then?”

The corner of Alex’s mouth twitched up. “I want to see what state you are in before we begin.”

“Ah. And here I was hoping you simply found me irresistible,” he quipped.

Alex’s hands stilled on the last button and she met his gaze. “I do.” Just as his eyes began to darken, she looked back down. “I wouldn’t be doing this otherwise.”

Though Alex still harbored a number of doubts, she could silence them for at least an evening. And, if nothing else, she would make sure Lucien left her bed with a thorough education in several ways to pleasure a woman.

Together they slowly removed his unbuttoned shirt and she brushed her fingers lightly over the lower ribs on the left side of his body. Like his jaw, the bruising there had faded from purple to yellow. He inhaled sharply as she continued to touch him.

Her eyes darted to his face. “Did I hurt you?”

“No,” he said tightly. “Quite the opposite.”

Alex smiled as she looked away again and continued her inspection. “What did Dr. Mosley say?”

“That I’m fit as a fiddle and in prime fighting shape.” At Alex’s disapproving frown, he covered her hand with his and brought it to his lips. “He told me to take it easy, but that I’m healing.” Then he kissed her fingertips. “It will be fine. I’m just a little sore.”

“I should be on top, then,” Alex said with a nod. Lucien froze and looked at her through lowered lashes. “That way you won’t have to move too much,” she added.

“Yes,” he rasped. “I gathered that.”

Then he dropped her hand and began removing his trousers. Alex followed his lead and took off her wrapper. Lucien’s eyes followed her every movement, and he nearly got tangled in his trouser legs as he tried to pull them off.

“Careful or you’ll bruise your other ribs,” Alex laughed as she prevented Lucien from tumbling over entirely.

“I’m afraid it will take more than another bruised rib to stop me,” Lucien said as he kicked off his trousers and sat down on the bed.

Just as he reached for her, he stopped. “What… what about protection?”

“I assumed you would withdraw,” she said matter-of-factly, to which Lucien audibly swallowed. That had been Benjamin’s preferred method during their first few encounters.

Lucien let out a strangled laugh. “You might be overestimating my abilities on that front.”

Alex paused to consider this, then remembered the cervical caps currently in her possession. “Oh!”