Page 22 of Is This Real or Just Pretend?

Lucien’s fingers tightened around the cup of punch as he mindlessly answered Freddie’s questions about his time in Paris, while resisting the urge to glance back at Alex yet again. She was still deep in conversation with the duke and Lucien did not want to interrupt them.

When Freddie had first approached him, he was delighted. But the longer he stood talking with her, the more a strange restlessness began to take hold and the harder it was to remain focused. No doubt that was because he could practically feel Alex’s gaze boring into his back.

They did need to keep up appearances and she would likely have a few choice words for him when he finally managed to extricate himself from this conversation. But that wasn’t the source of his discontent.

Freddie was pleasant as usual and practically dripped with charisma, but truthfully, Lucien was growing rather bored. Once he would have given his right arm to have her undivided attention. Now though… now he was struggling not to think of Alex, which had been the case for days.

Alex, who wasn’t charming at all, and didn’t even try to be.

Yet Lucien found he liked her complete disinterest in giving the usual shallow flatteries—or even standard politeness, for that matter.

It was refreshing. Exciting, even. For one never knew what she would say next.

And her stoicism, which had so intimidated him as a boy, now gave her an air of inviting mystery.

“And when were you last in Paris?” Lucien managed to ask, fighting to refocus his attention on the woman who had been the object of his affection for nearly half his life.

“Two years ago now,” Freddie said. “I went to the Continent with Mother and we had the most wonderful time. She begged Alex to come. But my sister claimed to be far too busy with work.” Freddie rolled her eyes, as if this was merely a convenient excuse. “She just doesn’t know how to have any fun.”

Though Lucien didn’t exactly disagree, he was supposed to be courting this woman. “She has other good qualities,” he replied truthfully.

Freddie’s eyebrows rose in surprise, but before she could respond, something caught her eye over his shoulder. “Oh God,” she muttered. “Here comes the spoilsport now.”

Lucien turned around as Alex marched across the room. Tonight she wore a sapphire gown that was even more becoming than the green one she had worn at the LaSalles’. As their gazes met, her dark eyes narrowed. Lucien couldn’t help but smile in return.

“Here you are.” He handed Alex the cup of punch.

She stopped abruptly and eyed the cup, as if he were offering her a poisoned apple.

“It’s customary to say ‘thank you,’” Freddie put in.

Alex shot her sister a scowl and took it. “Thank you.”

“My pleasure,” Lucien murmured.

Alex turned to him and her mouth curved in the barest hint of a smile.

Freddie cleared her throat. “Lucien and I were just talking of Paris. I told him you’ve never been, even though Mother invited you.”

It almost sounded like an accusation.

“I would have liked to go with you,” Alex said. “But I couldn’t get away from the business at the time.”

“Right,” Freddie replied tightly. “Can you ever get away?”

“It has been difficult as of late.”

“Yes, I can imagine. What with all the tasks you have at the moment.” Freddie cast a not-so-subtle glance at him.

The tension between them was so palpable, Lucien nearly tugged at his collar.

Alex glowered, then gestured to the doorway. “I believe your Mr. Ericson has just arrived.”

“So he has,” Freddie said as she lifted her chin. “I had better say hello before you lose any future stock options.”

Then she sashayed away, drawing the eye of nearly every man in the entire room as she passed. Hank Ericson’s face lit up so brightly they could have stuck him in a harbor to help guide boats.

“Is everything all right between you two?”

Alex blinked. She too had been following Freddie’s progress and turned to him. “Why do you say that?”

“There seemed to be some unresolved anger,” Lucien said. “The trip to Paris?”

“Oh. That’s how things always are with us,” Alex replied with a dismissive wave, but Lucien wasn’t convinced.

After all, he had quite literally been there and was hard-pressed to recall the sisters exchanging barbs with this level of frequency, or animosity.

Though Alex had always emanated a cool detachment, Lucien could remember her fierce protectiveness of Freddie when they were young.

While for her part Freddie looked up to her eldest sister as if she hung the moon.

Lucien didn’t know when things had changed or what was at the root of this discord.

But neither one of them seemed very happy about it.

“Besides,” Alex continued, “Freddie would have hated if I went on that trip. She and Mother spent most of their time shopping and eating.”

“Well, it is Paris,” Lucien pointed out. “What would you have done instead?”

“Visit the catacombs,” she answered immediately. Thank goodness Lucien hadn’t taken a sip of punch or he would have spit it across the room. “Have you been?”

“God, no,” he said. “It sounds macabre.”

“Really? I think it’s fascinating .” Her eyes took on a gleam of interest he hadn’t seen before. “It is estimated that millions of people are buried there. It shows how insignificant we all are. That even our lives span but a brief moment as time inevitably marches on.”

“And that is something that you want to see?”

She tilted her head in consideration. “I suppose I find it a kind of comfort. And it helps to put my work in perspective.”

Lucien frowned. “What do you mean?”

“That even if I did lose some stock options, it wouldn’t matter in the grand scheme of things.”

Once again, Lucien was forced to consider the tremendous pressure Alex must be under.

And no doubt it was made worse because of the people expecting, nay, hoping for her to fail.

She had to prove herself over and over because of her sex.

She might be more familiar with this world than Lucien, but that didn’t necessarily make it easier for her to navigate.

“I’m sorry.”

“No need,” she said, back to her usual brusqueness.

“I choose to work, even if Freddie thinks I do nothing more than push paper around my office all day. Meanwhile, she has never once bothered to consider how the funds she spends so freely are generated.” Then her gaze softened with regret.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be bothering you with all this nonsense. ”

“It isn’t nonsense. It’s your life. And I’m the one who asked,” he added.

Alex bit her lip. “Still, I should try harder to be cordial with her. Especially in public.”

“That’s not entirely your responsibility, though,” Lucien said gently. “She could try to be more understanding of your work.”

Though he had only spent an hour at her office, it had become perfectly clear to him that Alex did far more than push paper around. He wondered if Freddie had ever bothered to visit her.

“She’s hardly the only person who believes that,” Alex said with a dismissiveness that set him on edge. Though hadn’t he once thought the very same thing?

“But she’s your sister .”

Alex was quiet for a moment as she scanned the room. “I think it can be hard to see your siblings objectively. So much is based upon the foundations laid in childhood. One has to have the will to rebuild. But I wouldn’t even know where to begin,” she said thickly.

Before Lucien realized what he was doing, his palm pressed against her shoulder. As an only child, he didn’t know much about sibling dynamics. But he could certainly feel sympathy for her. “I’m sorry.”

“No need. I’m being silly.” Alex blinked rapidly and he had the alarming suspicion that she was fighting back tears.

Then she gave her head a firm shake and inhaled.

“Now then, I was thinking that you should have some more suits made,” she said briskly, back to the business at hand.

“For your meetings. I’d pay for them, of course.

Though it could be a loan,” she added as Lucien began to object. “Please.”

He sighed. She was right. If he was to move about in society, he needed more than two suits and he couldn’t keep wearing Alain’s slightly too short clothing. “Fine. But I will pay you back.”

She smiled a little. “I know.”

Pride unexpectedly flared in his chest. It had been a long time since anyone had believed in him. Including himself. “Thank you.”

“There is a tailor not far from my offices that Mr. Potts favors,” she continued. “I’m told he does excellent work quickly. I can have an appointment made for you the day after tomorrow. Then you should have at least one new suit ready before next week.”

“That would be perfect.”

Alex then hesitated a moment. “Why don’t you come to my office afterward? I can look over your revised proposal.”

“An excellent idea.”

“Good. I’ll have Potts send a message to you tomorrow with your appointment time. Then come by as soon as you’re done.”

“I look forward to it.”

As they stared at each other, a different kind of tension slowly kindled between them. But this was made of anticipation, rather than old anger.

Lucien realized his hand was still on her shoulder and he slowly drew it back, dragging his fingertips down the bare skin of her upper arm.

She inhaled sharply and goose bumps rose beneath his touch.

Heat pooled low in his belly as desire suddenly bolted through him. Good lord. Lucien wanted her.

Alex’s petal pink lips parted but just then, Mrs. Turner clapped her hands and announced from the other side of the room that the music would be starting shortly. Alex stiffened and Lucien withdrew his hand, the moment lost.

“I should go sit,” she said in a rush and strode away before he could respond.

By the time Lucien crossed the room, Alex was squeezed on a sofa between her sister Phoebe and her mother. Meanwhile, Freddie was whispering softly with Hank Ericson, her not-quite-fiancé, in a corner.

As the rest of the seats were taken, Lucien was left to stand awkwardly beside a bookcase as Dierdre Turner sat down to the piano. He had a fine view of the back of Alex’s head, but she didn’t even look to him once for the duration of the young lady’s performance—and it was quite a long one.

As the minutes passed, Lucien’s irritation grew. He had not imagined that sharp intake of breath nor those goose bumps scattered across her flesh. She was affected by him. He was sure of it. Yet Alex seemed perfectly able to control her reaction, like turning down a lamp or shutting a door.

Lucien’s fist clenched at his side. He wanted her to feel as bewildered as he did at the moment. As aching and restless for more. He wanted Alexandra Atkinson undone. Because of him .

Lucien wet his lips at the idea and it was not lost on him that what he felt for Alex was very different in comparison to Freddie.

Rather than the idle yearnings of a lovesick boy, this wasn’t based on fantasy.

It felt more serious. More mature. A slow but incessant desire gradually picking up speed.

And if Lucien wasn’t careful, he might lose all control.

The room suddenly broke out into a thunder of applause and he jolted to attention.

As Miss Turner curtsied, he clapped along with everyone else.

Now that the music was over, people began to mill about the room once more, but he headed straight for Alex.

She was still on the sofa caught in the middle of a lively conversation between her sister and mother and not even trying to hide her boredom.

Phoebe brightened as she noticed his approach. “Mr. Taylor! Come sit with us.”

Lucien smiled and took an open seat beside the sofa. “I haven’t yet had the chance to congratulate you on your engagement.”

Phoebe beamed. “Thank you. That is very kind of you to say. But I am more curious to hear how you are finding London in comparison to Paris.”

“Ah, well, I haven’t had much time for sightseeing, though I did visit the British Museum for a bit the other day.”

“Really? That is Alex’s favorite place in London! Did she tell you? I think she must go every week.” Phoebe then turned to her sister. “Did you know this?”

Alex met her sister’s enthusiasm with a sober nod. “I did.”

“I haven’t been in years,” Phoebe said with a wistful sigh. “Oh! We should all go together!”

Lucien caught Alex’s eye and she gave him an apologetic look.

“Only if Mr. Taylor doesn’t mind going again so soon,” she said.

“Yes,” he said firmly as he held her gaze. “That sounds nice. I’m told the Egyptian Gallery can’t be missed.”

A faint blush stained Alex’s cheeks as Phoebe rose. “Wonderful! Let me go ask Will,” she said. “I’m sure he would love to go too.”

“You will need a chaperone, darling,” Mrs. Atkinson called out. “Go ask Aunt Winifred.”

“But Will and I can do that,” Phoebe said with a wave of her hand.

Her mother raised an eyebrow. “You aren’t married yet , Phoebe. An engaged couple needs supervision just as much as they do. Likely more,” she added under her breath.

“Very well,” Phoebe relented and walked away.

“I’m sorry,” Alex murmured once her sister was out of earshot. “Phoebe can be single-minded once she gets an idea in her head. I can put her off later.”

“Not at all. I’d love to visit again,” he replied honestly.

With you.

Though he kept that part to himself. Just as Alex’s mouth curved in a smile, Phoebe returned with the duke in tow. “How about tomorrow afternoon? Aunt Winifred is free then.”

“That’s a bit short notice,” Alex said with a frown.

“I know,” Phoebe replied apologetically. “But I’m busy at the school the rest of the week. We’re putting on a production of Henry V and I need to help with wardrobe.”

Alex lifted a brow. “And what of my work?”

“Why? Do you have something pressing to do tomorrow afternoon?” Phoebe asked sweetly.

The sisters stared at each other for a long moment, but Alex was the first to break. “Fine,” she relented with a huff. “If that works for the rest of you, I suppose I can make do.”

“Not to worry, Alex. You’ll have all morning to dash the hopes and dreams of London’s business elite,” the duke put in.

Alex did not look amused by this remark, but Lucien couldn’t help smiling as he recalled the crestfallen expressions of the men leaving her office.

“Splendid! Shall we meet out front at two?” Phoebe suggested.

Everyone nodded their ascent and Lucien looked directly at Alex once again. “Until tomorrow, then.”

“Yes. Until then,” she said, ducking her head like a shy debutante as that becoming blush once again stained her cheeks. Perhaps Alex wasn’t as unaffected as he thought. And Lucien was determined to find out.