Page 30 of Illicit Games

The emptiness on Kian’s side of the bed stirs me awake.

Sitting up, I notice it’s still dark out and check the time on my phone. It’s two in the morning. Not hearing any sound coming from the bathroom, I throw the covers off and slip out of bed. From the walk-in closet, I snatch one of his shirts and put it on before going in search of him.

There’s no sign of him downstairs, so I trudge upstairs.

He must be in his office.

I have a feeling I know what he’s doing in there.

When I peer through the ajar door, I’m proven right.

Sitting on the chair in front of the large mahogany desk, shirtless and wearing sweatpants with his black glasses on, he reads his mother’s diary.

A soft pang hits my chest at the sight.

I back away, not wanting to disturb him. His head lifts, dark gaze clashing with mine. I hover in the doorway. “Hey.”

Skating his eyes over my figure encased in his shirt, his expression softens. Twisting his chair in my direction, he wordlessly commands me to come closer.

Goosebumps erupt on my flesh that he’s not pushing me away.

I love that he can’t resist the pull between us.

Our eyes stay locked as I cross the room to him. Closing the diary, his large hands span my hips and pull until I’m straddling his lap. Rubbing my palms over his abs and up to my name on his pecs, I murmur, “How long have you been up?”

“A while.”

“Are you okay?”

Leaning his head against the chair, he sighs. “Do you truly believe she didn’t want to abandon me?”

“Yes.” I’ve read those entries so many times that I know each word by heart. I could feel her pain as though she were telling me in person. She poured every emotion she felt into those pages. “Once you finish reading, you’ll know.”

A muscle grinds in his jaw. “Half of me wants to read it. The other half wants to burn it into ashes. She talks about him like he’s a saint. He was married, for fuck’s sake. How could she have fallen for his lies? The signs he was manipulating her were there.”

“Because the heart wants to believe what it wants.”

“I don’t know if I want to read the rest.”

“Then don’t.” Cupping the side of his neck, I remind him, “There’s no rush. If you wish to destroy it, that’s okay too. It can all be in the past. Whatever brings you peace, do that, love.”

Absently running his hands back and forth on my thighs, he falls deep in thought. I wonder if I made a mistake in telling him about his mother and the diary. I flayed open his old wounds. I have no idea how he must be feeling.

His mother could be anywhere in the world.

Has she been keeping tabs on him? Does she want to reach out but is scared to do so? Or did her anguish and fury fizzle out over the years? Perhaps she moved on with a new family.

Nevertheless, the need for vengeance that came alive in her last entry is imprinted in my head.

You, Rakesh, must think you’ve gotten rid of me.

But I’m going to come back to haunt you. One day, the precious leverage you have over me, it won’t always be under your control. I’ll come back and make you pay for your sins.

Karma is me.

And I will. Get. You.

She had to have been talking about Kian. She must know the man he’s become, the man who is no longer under his father’s thumb. Why hasn’t she approached him now that they can both take a stand against Rakesh?