Page 20 of Illicit Games

My body goes numb.

Kian knows.

Kian knows.

Kian knows.

My feet carry me to the bathroom just in time for me to hurl into the toilet, emptying my stomach. Staggering back, I slump to the floor and try to stop the tremors racking my limbs.

Is that why he never texted me all day? I assumed he was busy with meetings. Is his silence a good or bad sign? Is he throwing out my things from his place at this moment? Have I lost him? Are we over before we could even begin?

The anxiety mounts as silent tears fall down my cheeks.

My fingers caress his tattoo over my jeans, jolting me upright.

No.

This won’t be the end of us.

I replay his promises from last night and remember his kisses from this morning. The way he held me in his arms like I was the most precious thing in the world.

Unless he tells me that we’re done, I won’t give up hope.

The only thing coming to an end today is my arrangement with Nathan.

Flushing the toilet, I clean my mouth and face at the sink until color returns to my cheeks. Stepping out, I pick up my phone and shoot Seth a text to bring the car around. Downstairs, I meet my mom in the kitchen.

“Ma, I have to run. Something urgent came up.”

“But what about dinner?” she replies.

“I’ll come by another day.” I hug her. “Tell Papa hi for me.”

Kissing my temple, she utters, “Text me once you get there.”

Running out the front door, I exit the block of my street and slip inside the car after Seth opens my door. As he drives to Kian’s place, my feet tap on the floorboard nonstop. Cramps hit my stomach as I wonder what mood he will be in.

It takes almost two hours to reach our building, which looms ahead.

I’m a ball of nervous energy as I enter the lobby. Half expecting the security guard to jump at me and say I’m no longer allowed in here, I make it safely into the elevator. As it climbs, I cup the phone in a death grip in my sweaty palm.

Once I’m standing outside his apartment door, I lose the courage. My heart has traveled up to my throat, thundering too damn hard. My fists clenching and unclenching, I pace the hallway.

I don’t even know if he’s at home or The Mirage.

God! The club.

What if he’s with another woman?

Get it together, Iris.

Standing here will accomplish nothing. Shaking myself off, I count to three, unlock the door, and enter his apartment.

Electric awareness makes my skin come alive.

He’s here.

The scent of chocolate, musk, and spice is the strongest when he’s close.