Page 157 of Illicit Games

“I’m worried about you too, you know,” he says in a fatherly tone.

Being on the receiving end of it is so foreign to me that my throat closes up. Especially under the circumstances in which he should despise my presence.

“You’re not eating or sleeping. It’s starting to take a toll on your body. Is this how you want her to see you when she wakes up?”

My eyes sting, moisture gathering in the corners. Closing them tight, I press my fists against them to hold back the tears. “I-I just miss her. So much. I need her to wake up and be okay.”

“I know, I know,” he sighs, his voice shaky, “I miss her too. But I trust the doctors when they say she will recover and get stronger, and then come back to us. Our prayers are going to work.”

I exhale roughly and lick my lips, tasting saltiness on my tongue.

Mr. Mannan rubs my back, consoling me. “Please take care of yourself, son. She hates it when you don’t. Once she’s awake, she’s going to need all of us, especially you, while she recovers. It’s going to be hard.”

It feels wrong, a crime, to care about my well-being. While the reason I’m alive is lying on a bed, slipping away from me. I can’t stomach the thought of food, much less swallow it down. The hospital has become my home.

Her family and friends visit daily and spend the entire day with us. Rosalie and Bianca also carry guilt for not being able to protect her. I’ve told them it wasn’t their fault because they were drugged by Yukta, who faked her kidnapping after being brainwashed by both Vicky and Arjun.

It’s my slipup that cost us this. I thought Iris was out of danger with the perpetrators behind bars and gave Seth the day off. I should’ve known better.

I knewIwas going to be Iris’s downfall.

Wiping my tears that keep falling without my permission, I voice out my worst fear. “How am I going to tell her? Will she ever forgive me after I tell her that she can never have kids? What if she looks at me and all she sees is the reason she can’tbe a mother? The one thing she…wewanted the most in the world.”

The second bullet that hit her lower abdomen caused damage to her ovaries. During the surgeries, the doctor had to remove one of them, while the second was severely impacted, reducing her chances of becoming pregnant to almost nonexistent.

I felt my dreams of having beautiful children who looked like my Iris crush before my eyes. Two bullets are all it took to annihilate our world, turning it into shambles and bear scars that’ll never heal.

Iris, with the purest heart and soul in the world, didn’t deserve this fate. Devastation has taken permanent residence inside my chest, my gut, and my heart.

“Look at me, Kian.”

I turn my head, meeting his eyes.

“Iris is maddeningly in love with you and will never blame you for what happened at the hands of an unstable person. You cannot let your mind think otherwise. It’s hard, but you have to try. The only thing you can count on is that she’s going to need you very, very much while both of you grieve this loss.”

“I’m truly sorry for everything. I vowed to guard her, and I failed. Please forgive me.”

He shakes his head, gripping my hand in his. “I am upset Iris risked her life and it breaks my heart to see her lying on that bed, but I’m not mad at you because I know you would take a bullet for her too. Don’t lose hope. My daughter is a fighter.”

My shoulders shake as I sob silently. When her father pulls me into his arms, I lean on him. Every hard obstacle I’ve endured in my life has been nothing compared to the agony and sadness of the past week. Closing my eyes takes me back to the moment Iris collapsed in my arms.

Lifting my head, I wipe my cheeks with the backs of my hand.

“You also need a support system,” Iris’s dad quietly says. “Let me be that for you. If you’re overwhelmed, I’m just a phone call away.”

“Why, Mr. Mannan?”

“Because you’re family, Kian. I consider you my son, not future son-in-law.”

“Mr. Singhania!”

Both of us turn at the nurse’s voice.

I shoot to my feet as she stops before us. “What? Is Iris okay?”

“She’s awake.”

“Oh, thank you, God!” cries her dad.