Page 31

The Z4 rumbles smoothly underneath me, handling like a dream but it”s got nothing on my Aston. It doesn”t have the same kind of acceleration or prestige but it’s a decent enough car and it does what it needs to do which is fucking useful right now because I can barely focus on the road sprawling out in front of us. My mind keeps wandering back to the kitchen and the long overdue discussion K and I had.

When he first told me what he wanted to do I baulked at his idea. Told him to go fuck himself and stormed out the back of the cottage and stared at the tree in the meadow he’d sat in and watched me and Gale hug from. I knew he was there. I could feel the weight of his gaze on me the whole time. Things in some ways were so much simpler back then. I wanted him, my twisted obsession was already rooted deeply within my soul but I had a handle on it. There was a line between us that we hadn’t crossed, one I did everything not to cross because I was disgusted with myself.

But when he threw himself at Thom that night, beat the shit out of him for what he attempted to do. That was the beginning of the end and the walls I’d built around my obsession shattered. I kissed him and it changed everything. He broke me, ripped apart the person I was and made me anew. It scared the shit out of me and when the sun rose I ran but looking back it was the best, worst mistake I’ve ever made.

I don’t regret one second of the time we’ve spent together. I don’t regret what being with him has made me learn about myself or who I’ve become because of it. He found all my broken pieces and made me whole. I owe him fucking everything.

So in reality this leaves me with only one option, to stand beside K and help him get the retribution he desperately needs. I mean he’s been smart about getting this hacker, Rogue, to dig up everything they can on Neil. I still taste sick every time I breathe. The videos and images Neil has in locked folders is the most depraved, fucked-up shit I’ve ever seen, I’m going to need a hell of a lot of therapy to move on from seeing those and to think he subjected my angel to that doesn’t even bare contemplating. Fuck, I feel like I’m going to throw up again. I swerve off the road and slam my foot on the breaks.

“What the fuck?” K’s voice fades as I leg it away from the car, my heart hammering its way up my throat as waves of nausea wrack through me. Perspiration beads on my forehead as I feel super heated. The world seems to be spinning and everything is going all fuzzy. It”s hard to breathe because I’m fighting not throwing up but every time I swallow it back down a sharp pain pierces my gut as it cramps.

I brace my arm against a tree just in time as bile sprays from my mouth. My knees buckle as the strength seems to leave my body, my limbs shaky and weak. “I’ve got you, baby.” Strong arms wrap around my waist, holding me, supporting me as I continue to spew up nothing but liquid. There’s nothing of substance inside me, the acid searing up my raw throat as I continue to expel the glass of water I drank feels like I’m regurgitating fire.

“Fuck,” I rasp, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. “I don’t think I can do this?

“It’s okay, baby. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, I”ve got it.” Like some kind of magician, K whips out a small towel and wipes down my face before handing me a small bottle of water which I swill around my mouth then spit out. “Here have some gum, it’ll help take the taste away a bit.”

“Thanks.” The fresh mint is so strong it’s like swallowing pure spearmint but it”s good at covering up the taste. I suck in a few deep inhales and focus on the feeling of the fresh air filling my lungs. Allowing each timed breath to calm my thundering heart enough for me to stop shaking and the spinning world to start to slow down. K leads me back to a fallen tree and helps me to sit down until everything looks just like it should.

His hand rubs small circles across my back as I brace my arms on my legs and hang my head between them. “That wasn’t what I meant, angel.” My voice is barely audible. “I’m in. That piece of shit sperm donor we share deserves to burn in hell for everything he’s done to you and all those other boys. People like him don’t have a legacy and we’ll wipe his from existence when we show the world who Neil Dixon really is.”

“Good.” He snorts a chuckle. Cool lips brush my temple in a lingering kiss, my eyes fall closed and I bask in the feeling of having him here with me. “I had a thought about the money, obviously we have to pay Rogue—I’d give them anything they ask for to be honest. But I thought we could use some of the money to go to the victims” families, including the survivors. Dr Wolfe has kept good enough records that I’m sure it won’t take Rogue long to cross match her files with Neil’s and be able to give them all something. I know it doesn’t replace a child but it’s,” he sighs. “It’s something.”

“I love you,” I whisper. “I think that”s a brilliant idea, angel. If you message Rogue and ask them if they can do it at the same time we drain his accounts that would be perfect.” Tears prick my dry eyes as I look at K through my lashes, a small smile curling his lip as he stares through the trees, his face clouded in thought. It seems like a lifetime has passed since we’ve just been able to sit with each other while the world keeps turning around us.

“I love you too, little devil. No matter what, you hear me.” I go to nod but another wave of nausea churns my gut but thankfully nothing comes of it. Thank fuck. We sit peacefully side by side just soaking in the sounds of nature surrounding us. “You sure you still want to go and see Grey?”

“Yup.” I pop the p for effect. “I need answers, there”s too much around here that doesn’t add up.” A whole lot of shit doesn’t add up around here the more I look at it, it”s like I’ve been living in the twilight zone for years, oblivious to the fact that everyone is connected by six degrees of separation. “Come on, angel. Let’s get this over with.” I hold out my hand to K and he takes it. His rough palm glides over mine linking our fingers, it feels like electrical currents run across my skin from where we touch as we walk back to the car.

“What is it with everyone you know living behind ridiculously large electric gates?” K grumbles as I press the intercom and wait to be let in. He’s not wrong, these wrought iron gates must be close to ten foot high with some seriously long spikes on the top, evidently, Dr Grey likes to keep everyone out. This doesn”t bode well for us.

Static crackles before a barely audible voice comes through the speaker. “Can I help you?”

“Uh, yes. I’m here to see Doctor Grey.”

“He’s not in. Try another time.”

Frustration bubbles inside me, popping in my veins making me itch. “Please, Dr Grey.” It takes everything within me not to let the exasperation I’m feeling pour out through my voice. I’m not above begging right now to get what we need. What I need because if we follow through with our plan I’ll never have another opportunity to get to the bottom of the truth. And we’re owed the truth. “It”s Rhys Dixon. I have some questions that I know only you can answer, it”s about—” before I can finish speaking the gates start to slowly creak open.

I chance a glance at K to see his reaction, but I’m captivated by his beauty. Those cerulean blue eyes are like staring into an untamed ocean dragging you down into its dark depths, they”re so hypnotising you’d willingly drown with a smile on your face. His face is enough to make angels cry at losing one of their own and selfishly I’m happy he fell because that means I get to keep him. He’s fucking mine and no one will ever take him from me. He might battle with the monsters in his head, teetering on the line of true insanity. He might think he’s the worst of them all but he’s my monster and I’ll do whatever it takes to keep him. I will kill for him. I’d willingly burn down the world for him.

“Are we gonna go in, or what?” His voice snaps me out of my wandering thoughts, he nudges his head towards the gates and I realise they’re finally open. Fuck. How long was I daydreaming about the lengths I’ll go to keep him? My love for him is toxic, it”s an obsession that”s sunk its claws into me and I never want it to let go. He’s fucking mine.

I give him a tight smile and put the car into gear. “Yeah, I guess.” He shoots me a confused look but doesn’t say anything as we head down a winding block paved driveway that seems to go on forever. Who knew a doctor could earn enough to afford something like this?

“What is it with you rich pricks? You all have to have massive houses hidden behind ten foot high walls.” He chews on his bottom lip, knee bouncing nervous energy radiating off him. “Do you think he’s hiding from someone? Or just making up for having a tiny dick?”

A laugh punches out of my chest. “That’s the million pound question, isn’t it? I’m sure we’ll get the answer soon.” An impish grin lights up his face that almost has me saying fuck it we should run, but the we’d never be free. He’d never be free.

“Holy shit! Look at that.” My eyes flick forward to see what’s got him so keyed up to see a large New England-style home coming into view as the trees lining the driveway peel away. “That’s… that’s something else.” His voice sounds almost awed as I take in the large two story double fronted home. The sprawling house stands proudly amidst the landscaped gardens, its facade adorned with elegant grey weatherboards that echo the hues of stormy skies.

The front of the house boasts a grand entrance with a welcoming porch, supported by sturdy white pillars that contrast strikingly against the subdued grey of the weatherboards. The windows are a crisp white, peering out at us like watchful eyes, offering glimpses of the warm welcoming home within. It”s such a stark contrast to Barton Grange that it makes a pang of longing hit my chest. This was the type of home we should have lived in, not a mausoleum that was as cold and unfeeling as a tomb.

We pull up in front of the house and get out of the car in silence. Vibrant flower beds line the front walls, settling some of the nerves churning my gut. Before we make it to the bottom steps, the door swings open and there stands a rather shell shocked Dr Grey. “I wasn’t expecting to see you again.” I jolt at the coldness in his tone, this isn’t the man I’ve come to know. I go to answer but Kayden gets there first.

“I didn’t think I’d live to see another day, but here we are.” He spreads his hands, his tone matching the cold reception we’ve received.

“We have questions,” I quickly interject. “And I want answers.” Dr Greys eyes shoot to mine as he sucks in a sharp breath. “I think we’re owed them, don’t you?”

He mutters something under his breath, a scowl marring his features, but he steps back from the door. “I suppose you might as well come in then. I was hoping I’d never have to do this.”

“Why’s that, old man? Got a guilty conscience?” K snarks as he steps inside the house and if I wasn’t watching Dr Grey so closely I would have missed the way he winces as K’s words land.

“You know what they say, the truth is a dangerous game.”

Ignoring the comment, we follow Dr Grey further into the house. “I would offer you a tea but I think this conversation calls for a proper drink, follow me.” He doesn’t let up until we’re in a large sun room that faces the rear gardens of the house. The low winter sun glowing in the sky seems to be mocking us as an ominous feeling settles over the room. Tension builds as silence between us no one will speak first, trepidation slithers down my spine as I take a seat in one of the oversized cream chairs that faces the garden. K settles on the arm next to me flicking his butterfly knife between his fingers, his knee bouncing like a countdown timer ticking down to zero.

Releasing a heavy sigh, Dr Grey runs a shaky hand through his hair before busying himself with getting us all a drink. Three cut crystal glasses containing what looks like liquid honey appear on the low coffee table in front of us as he takes a seat on the sofa opposite us.

Having had enough of this K’s voice slices through the silence, “You gonna start talking old man?” A malicious grin cuts across his face, a sadistic gleam in his eyes as he licks his lips. “Or do you need some persuading?” His knife flicks open revealing the sharp blade that glints in the sunlight.

Dr Greys eyes zero in on it and he swallows audibly. “What do you want to know?” He says on a weighted breath, like he’s been running from this moment his entire life.

“The truth would be a start,” K growls.

“That, dear boy, is a difficult thing to unravel.” Dr Greys eyes flick up to mine, pain echoing in their depths that mirrors my own. He’s lost someone he loves and has never been the same since. “It”s as painful as it is complicated.” A mournful look crosses his face before he steals his features and necks his drink. K gets up and pushes his glass across the table which Dr Grey takes and downs too.

“We’ve got nothing but time, old man. I’d start talking, if I were you. Rhys is owed the secrets you were hoping to take to the grave.”

“Alright, if you’re sure that”s what you both want. Don”t say I didn”t warn you.” He gets up and grabs the decanter he poured our drinks from and fills up his glass, swirling the liquid around it before looking up. It’s as if all the fight drains out of him the longer he looks at us, his shoulders slump and I start to realise how much he’s aged since I last saw him. His dark grey hair is now completely white, the defined laughter lines around his eyes look cavernous and hollow. His once warm eyes are darker than a bleak midwinter sky in the middle of a snow storm, they’re red rimmed and puffy. He looks broken, a shell of the man I’ve known my entire life.

“That’s why we’re here.” Thank god, K came with me. I don’t think I would be sitting here now otherwise. He’s the only thing holding me together as dread churns my gut, I know it down to my core that what Dr Grey knows is going to change how I see everything. I fear his words are going to rewrite the past and paint a picture that I’ll never be able to move on from.

“I”ve tried to atone for my sins where your mother is concerned by helping your brother but I know no matter what I do it will never be enough to grant me redemption. I”m sorry for the pain and suffering I”ve caused you Rhys. I am one person, powerless in the face of your father.”

“What the fuck do you mean by that?” I snarl through gritted teeth. The tension in my jaw is enough to crack my teeth. My hands start to shake as fury rolls through me like a thunderstorm, I can feel K tense next to me as if my emotions are fully the turbulent seas inside him—he is my shadow, I am his mirror. “What do you know about Mum that you aren’t telling me?”

His head falls to his hands and his shoulders start to shake, desperation pouring off him. Sucking in a shuddering breath Dr Grey eyes us like we’re predators ready to strike. His shattered look has my spine snapping ramrod straight and my heart hammering up my throat.

“You mother didn’t die of cancer?—”

“You fucking what?” The ground starts to fall away beneath my feet leaving me balancing precariously on a crumbling ledge. I’m not sure if i should run or throw myself off. K’s hand lands on my shoulder anchoring me. “Explain. The. Fuck. Now!”

“I did all I could for him, to save myself.” A wounded sob tears out of his chest. “I know that”s no excuse for what I enabled to happen, but I hope my honesty will grant you a modicum of understanding. I never wanted to hurt her… I loved her like a daughter, but in the end, I was a puppet on your father”s strings.”

“That doesn’t give us shit, old man.” K jumps to his feet prowling towards Dr Grey, his eyes widen when he catches sight of the savage gleam in my avenging angel”s eyes.

“Your father is a very powerful man.” K scoffs behind him, making Grey shudder in fear as the colour drains from his face. “He blackmailed me. Threatened my daughter”s life, so I sold my soul to the devil.” My heart breaks for him but also hardens it as he continues to speak. “But look where that’s got me. He made sure she disappeared anyway, and I lost my wife as a result.”

“But what does that have to do with my mum?” I’m hanging on by a fucking thread, and K looks one second away from shoving the knife in his hand against his throat and bleeding the truth from him.

“The year before your mother died, your father came to me, asking for me to remove a problem that would cause a scandal he didn’t want attached to his life?—”

“What do you mean by that?” I whisper.

“Your mother was pregnant.” His breathing stutters, and he clutches his throat. “I was overjoyed and congratulated him, but he looked back at me with dark hollow eyes, anger carved into every facet of his face. He told me how he needed the abomination removed, or he’d kill her himself. I was horrified—I mean, why wouldn”t he want another child?” Chills skitter across my skin, sinking into freeze the marrow in my bones. “It turns out your mother had been having an affair.” He scoffs. “It”s not like your father was ever faithful, but this issue threatened the image he had so carefully created for himself. He knew the child wasn’t his, because he’d had a vasectomy.” Holy shit, does that mean…? I shake that thought away, focusing on the truth Dr Grey is laying bare.

“So what did you do?”

“I-I…” He shudders, tears welling in his eyes. “He wanted me to make sure she had a miscarriage, but I couldn’t bring myself to do that. New life is so precious and to end someone’s life before they’ve even had a chance to live it was the work of the devil?—”

“You should know, you’re the one under his thumb,” K growls under his breath, but it”s enough to have the hairs on the back of my neck standing on end.

“I do now! I didn”t know then, and I’ve paid with a piece of my soul every day since then.” He pours another drink, throwing it back slamming his glass on the table. “He threatened my daughter”s life, said he had men following her and could make her disappear and I’d never be able to find her. Sent me photos of her on campus, out with friends.” He wretches. “Through her window getting ready for bed. I couldn’t force your mother to have a miscarriage, I couldn’t kill an innocent—at least then.” I baulk as his words register. I was about to ask what changed, but I have a feeling it won”t be long till he tells me anyway. He’s like a villain giving a great speech.

“So, I did what I thought was best. I removed her from the situation and sent her down to work in a new private facility that I was setting up. She was so excited when I told her?—”

“You didn’t tell her the truth though, did you?” Kayden asks, slinking closer to Dr Grey. His hand lands on the back of the chair, making him jump out of his skin.

Shaking his head, he continues, “No. What I did to her there broke her heart and her trust in me. Things were never the same again.” I look up at him through beseeching eyes. “I had the child taken away from her as soon as she was born. I told her the child was dying.”

“B-but she wasn’t, was she?” The broken words shatter as they fall from my lips.

“No,” he rasps. “The baby was fine. I had arranged a black market adoption with a family from Ireland. They took her straight from the delivery room before your mother had even held her baby in her arms.” Tears are streaming from his eyes, as his words rewrite the hazy memories of a time when mum had to go away for work. It was around the time Neil had gone to Europe and I was at boarding school full time. “That day broke her, but your mother was a fighter.” A wan smile slickers across his lips. “She never gave up searching for the truth. She broke into the facility later that year when she was strong enough to face the monsters lurking in the shadows and found the paperwork. She came straight back here and screamed at me until I broke and told her the truth.”

He clasps shaky hands in his lap as his breathing becomes shallow. His chest rises and falls rapidly, and he looks on the verge of a panic attack. “Somehow, your father found out what I’d done and that she’d found out. He came to my house and said in a voice void of all emotion, ‘She has to die. I can”t have this getting out and ruining my reputation.’ I refused point blank and said I wouldn’t do it. He sneered at me and said he had his ways, and I would do what he wanted or I’d pay the price. I brushed him off and carried on with my life as normally as I could, even though I was looking over my shoulder all the time.”

“What did he do?” My eyes land on Kayden crouching down in front of him, hand resting on Dr Grey’s knee, understanding shining in his eyes.

“H-he took my daughter and sold her to a trafficking ring. Sent me live video footage of the auction and her being raped on the stage by the man that bought her. I died that day. I-I lost everything. The next time your father showed up at my door, I was a broken man and I did what he wanted. I gave him a slow working poison that mimics the symptoms of cancer and that was the beginning of the end for h-her…I-I’m so so sorry Rhys.”

I can’t look at him. He killed my mum, the one bright thing in my world. He helped rip her from my arms, shattering my childhood. “You could have gone to the police. You could have taken her away from here.”

A hollow laugh passes his lips shredding me to the core. “It would never have worked. She wouldn’t leave you. You were all that she had left in the world. We couldn’t run because he”d find us! His power and reach are infinite. You know this Rhys… I know you do,” he says softly.

“We both do.” Kayden’s shattered voice cuts through the darkness. “We both know what he’s capable of, some more than others.”

“When your mother finally passed away I prayed to god to keep her safe from the clutches of the devil again and I made it my life”s mission to look out for you.”

“What happened to your daughter?”

A gut wrenching sob rips out of him, “H-her body was found dumped in a ditch just outside Alden a few months before your mother died. I paid everyone off to keep it from the news—to give me a chance to grieve.”

“I’m so sorry.” The words are a hollow platitude because there is nothing in this world that can comfort a parent losing their child, especially after everything he’s been through. Anger sears through my veins because of what he did—because he was a coward. But reality bites me in the arse because confronted with the same choices I’d probably have done the same things. And I fucking hate myself for that. I hate myself for being more like Neil than I want to admit.

Clearing his throat, voice sounding like he’s swallowed crushed glass Dr Grey continues. “It wasn’t until you had me look over Kayden during the summer that I started to put a few things together and discovered the depths of your father depravity?—”

“Don’t call him that,” I growl. “He is not my father! I’m disgusted that we even share DNA.” I look at Kayden, my soul fracturing in his eyes. “I will not become a monster like him. Neither of us will.”

Blinking the tears from his eyes, Dr Grey looks at me, confusion marring his flushed face. “What do you mean?” My eyes lock with Kayden, he gives an almost imperceptible nod.

“I...” I lick my dry lips, and take a deep inhale trying to calm my heart as it hammers against my ribs. “We have reason to believe, we’re…” I can’t speak. The words on the tip of my tongue die as my heart shatters all over again. My lungs scream for oxygen but I can’t make them work. Black spots dance in front of my eyes as the walls start to close in.

“Shhh. I’ve got you little devil.” I’m pulled from the chair into my angel”s arms as they band around me pulling all my fractured pieces back together as he uses soft touches, calming words and his loves to fix each broken part of me. Dry lips kiss my temple infusing me with warmth that’s been leaching out of me since Dr Grey started talking. “I’ve got this, baby. Just focus on breathing in time with me, yeah?”

“Yeah,” I croak. Closing my eyes, I focus on the steady rise and fall of Kayden’s chest beneath me.

“I’ll be blunt.” A snort catches in my throat, when is Kayden anything but? “Hush,” he scolds me, tapping my nose. “You know I jumped off the bridge.” I hear a grunt of affirmation through the static crackling in my ears. “Otherwise you wouldn’t have tried to hide me away so well?—”

“I did it for Rhys…”

“I know, but I think you also partly did it as an act of redemption. Trying to save me where you’d failed your daughter and Rhys’ mum.” It”s not a question, it”s a statement. A fact. “It’s why you engineered the most ridiculous reason possible for Rhys to end up with a winter job there, too.”

“I wanted him to see you were alive, especially after Jenna said you had amnesia…. Which apparently wasn’t accurate, was it?”

“Psh, that”s neither here nor there. What I’m trying to say is, part of the reason I jumped was because I found out I was in love with my half brother, and I thought he’d hate me if he found out.”

“Who? Rhys?” Shock bleeds from Dr Greys voice and I cling to it like a life line in a tidal surge. “Kayden, you two are not related.” My eyes fly wide open and I stare at Dr Grey completely dumbfounded.

“B-but h-he saw the DNA tests?”

“I can assure you, you are not blood relations in any way. Your fath—” I turn my icy glare to him, making him stutter. “Neil is not your father, Kayden. I discovered he had his vasectomy the year after you were born, Rhys. The result you were shown had to have been manipulated… I-I could do them again for you?”

“No,” I snap. “I think you”ve done enough. Angel? We should go.” I push up off the floor leaving the comfort of his embrace and stalk through the house heading for the car. Kayden’s voice rings out behind me but I don’t catch his words above the roaring in my head that’s making me feel like my skull is about to shatter.