Page 25
Story: Ignited In The Present (The Ties That Bind Us Book 2)
The beautiful white facade of the house seems like it’s been superimposed against the dark sky that looms overhead like a brooding titan. The startling visual creates an ominous tone that has the hairs on the back of my neck standing to attention. Its vast expanse swallowed by layers of charcoal-grey clouds swirling with malevolent energy. Amidst the darkness, glimmers of golden sunlight pierce through, casting an eerie glow that makes the world feel like it’s teetering on the edge of an apocalypse.
I conceal my movements in the shadowy undergrowth so I can move unseen around the front of the property and make my way down the side of the house past the garages and storage units. Some invisible force insisting I need to be in the woods, it’s like a tether pulling me but that’s growing weaker with every passing second. It’s like some primal instinct, honed by years of connection that my brain refuses to ignore. I’ve ignored it countless times in the past and ultimately he’s paid the price of my ignorance. I’ve let him down too many times to count but that’s not something I’m prepared to do ever again. I’m coming, angel.
Though my shift isn’t scheduled to begin for another hour, the pressing need to make sure Kayden is okay has escalated to the point it feels like I can’t breathe. Each passing moment without him feels like a slow unravelling of my soul, as if fragments of my heart are shattering with every step I take. My pulse races erratically whooshing in my ears, adrenaline surging through my veins like a tidal wave of apprehension and dread.
“I wondered how long it would take you to come running. You little brother fucker.” Thom’s voice, hollow and laced with malice, grates against me like jagged rocks on raw skin, sending shivers rippling across every nerve. I stand frozen, a chill creeping up my spine, as his words pierce through the air like venom-tipped arrows.
“W-what do you mean?” My gaze locks onto the figure lounging on the pile of bricks, his posture relaxed, a cigarette dangling carelessly from his lips. He exhales a cloud of smoke, the thick plumes twisting and contorting in the air like dark spirits dancing to his tune.
He laughs with a guttural rumble, tipping his head back as he exhales thick white smoke. “Any time he’s in trouble you always used to go running.” He tilts his head to the side and sneers. “It’s pathetic really…”
“What is?” I don’t have time for this. It’s as if I can hear the ticking of a clock in my ear, counting down the pressure on my chest getting heavier and heavier.
“That you’re obsessed with your daddy’s little fuck toy.” I blanch, my stomach surging up my throat acid bile coats my tongue.
My stomach churns, bile rising in my throat at the venomous accusation. “No,” I choke out, disbelief clawing at my insides.
Thom’s grey bloodshot eyes hold a twisted truth that cuts through my denial like a blade. “I didn’t believe it at first either,” he continues, his voice a sinister whisper that snakes its way into the darkest corners of my mind. “Until Dustan showed me the proof.”
“You don’t know what you’re t-talking about.” My arms wrap around me instinctively, as if to shield myself from the onslaught of his words. Every fibre of my being rebels against the horrifying revelation, yet a part of me knows, deep down, that there’s no escaping the truth now.
“DNA results don’t lie.” He flicks his joint into my face and slips off his perch and closes the distance between us.
“You’re lying.” I manage to choke out, my voice trembling with a mixture of fear and rage.
Thom steps towards me, each one heavy with menace, closing the distance between us like a predator stalking its prey. The facade of friendship shattered, revealing the monster truth that lurks beneath. As he draws near, I’m consumed by a suffocating sense of dread, realising too late that I’ve been blind to the darkness that has always dwelled within him.
He steps close enough for his lips to brush against my ear, the scent of stale body odour, weed and sweat sear the inside of my nostrils with every inhale. He grabs my hoodie holding me in place, his discoloured fingers digging in. “I’d run if I were you… He hasn’t got long left.”
It’s as if his words are a starter’s pistol that give me insurmountable strength. I shove him backwards, knocking him off balance and sweep out his stumbling legs making him fall to the floor with a cry of shock.”Fuck you… you brother fucker,” he howls, anger staining his face crimson.
“No, fuck you,” I growl. “You’ll always be alone, Thom. You’ll die alone while I’ve got the rest of my life to spend with Kayden.”
His head snaps backwards at an almost inhuman angle, then spits at me. Eyes almost as black as pitch stare back at me as a malicious grin splits across his face. “Well, it’s a very short life you’ll be living.”
“Fuck you.” His words ricochet through me like a rusty bullet, inflicting maximum damage as it shatters, the broken pieces heading straight for my heart slowly killing me with every beat.
I break into a run pushing myself as fast as I can, my feet flying across the slick grass. The incessant ticking in my head is now as loud as a fog horn blaring away. I turn heads as I burst through the rose bushes and onto the manicured back lawn pushing my way through a group of residents talking in the winter sun despite the cold temperature.
“Rhys! Rhys!” Roan’s voice rings out but I ignore it as I whip past him pushing myself faster into the woods.
Time is of the essence, I can’t lose him. I can’t fail him, not again. Kayden is my fucking everything. He’s the air in my lungs, the blood in my veins and the molecules that make up every part of me. Without him I am nothing, a hollow worthless husk.
The darkness of the woods engulfs me as I break through the dense thicket, my eyes struggling to adjust to the sudden change in light. The trees loom overhead like ancient guardians, their gnarled branches reaching out to ensnare me in their skeletal embrace. Despite the bareness of the deciduous trees, the evergreens stand tall and proud, casting eerie shadows that dance in the dim light filtering through the canopy.
With each step, the ground beneath me slopes downward, leading me deeper into the heart of the forest. My breath comes in ragged gasps, the anticipation mounting with each passing moment. I can feel the weight of the darkness pressing in on me, urging me to turn back, but I push forward, driven by an unyielding determination.
“Where are you, angel?” I whisper into the stillness of the woods, my voice barely audible above the rustling of the leaves that whips across the forest floor. The words hang in the air like a desperate plea, echoing off the ancient trees that loom overhead.
I forge ahead, navigating the maze of branches and brambles with single-minded purpose. Every step brings me closer to him, to the one who holds my heart in his hands. “I’m coming for you,” I vow, my voice growing stronger with each repetition, a beacon of hope cutting through the darkness that threatens to consume me.
The ground gives way beneath me, sending me tumbling down the slope in a chaotic whirl of limbs and dirt. I claw desperately at roots and trunks, my body battered and bruised with each collision. A sickening thud reverberates through my skull as my head collides with a large trunk, stars exploding in my vision as I fight to stay conscious.
With a groan, I drag myself upright, using the very trunk that caused my fall as a makeshift crutch. Pain pulses through every fibre of my being, threatening to overwhelm me, but I grit my teeth and push through it, driven by a single-minded determination to reach him.
Then I see him, lying motionless on the ground, his body twisted at an unnatural angle. A metallic glint in his arm catches my eye, and my heart plummets into the depths of my chest. “No!” The word is torn from my throat, a guttural cry of despair that echoes through the silent woods.
Tears stream down my cheeks like hot lava as I sink to my knees beside him. My hands tremble as I reach out to touch him. His skin is cold yet clammy beneath my fingertips, sending a chill racing down my spine. “Fuck,” I choke out, my voice thick with anguish.
It feels like the world is collapsing around me as I struggle to find his pulse. My fingers searching desperately for any sign of life on his cold, clammy skin. It seems like hours have passed before I finally feel a faint flutter beneath my fingertips, relief floods through me, mingling with the overwhelming fear that threatens to consume me.
“Help!” I scream into the wind, my voice raw with desperation. “Please, someone help!” But there’s no one around to hear me, just the mournful wail of the wind as it whips through the trees.
I reach for him—wanting to hold him in my arms—shaking him gently in a futile attempt to target him to wake up. But he remains utterly still, his eyes closed like he’s sleeping peacefully. Panic surges through me as I realise the gravity of the situation, the weight of it pressing down on me like a tonne weight
“Come back to me, angel,” I plead, my voice breaking with emotion. “Please, come back to me.” He lies there, unmoving and unresponsive—fucking lifeless and my heart shatters into a million irreplaceable pieces as the possibility that this is the last time I’ll see him starts to grow in my mind.
My hand on his chest rises and falls with his shallow breaths coming far too quickly, it’s as if I can feel his life slipping away with every touch. His peaceful face the colour of sun bleached bone, lifeless and perfect. The ember of hope in my chest flickers and stutters, fading the longer I stare at his unmoving form.
I pull his eyelids back, and see the sclera where his eyes have rolled back in his head. “Shit. Fucking shit.” I pull out the needle in his arm and stuff it in the pocket of my hoodie in case we need to find out what he’s taken.
“Fuck.” My fingers trembling as I stroke his cheek, tears cascading down onto his cold, pale skin. “I can’t lose you, baby,” I whisper, pressing a reverent kiss to his lips.Every fibre of my being screaming at me to do something to help save him, but I’m paralysed by my fear as my life with him flashes before my eyes before disintegrating to dust.
Then it hits me like a lightning bolt, a surge of clarity pierces through the haze of panic that’s wrapped around me. With shaky hands I pull my phone out of my jeans pocket, fumbling I almost drop it before I manage to call Roan. Thanking any god that will listen that he made me put his number in it on my first day. Shift leaders are the only ones who are permitted to carry their phones in the main house—a rule that now feels like a lifeline.
“Please answer,” I whimper as I place a kiss to his closed eyes.
“Rhys? What the fu?—”
“Shut up,” I snap, cutting him off. “I need you to get a doctor or someone into the woods like now. Kay-uh eighteen… he’s overdosed.”
“Who?” Roan’s voice crackles over the line, the urgency palpable in his tone as he springs into action at my words. I can hear him running, footsteps thundering, doors banging. “Where are you? I’ll get the quad and come and find you. Did you say…overdose?”
“Yes, we need something for an overdose. I found eighteen with a needle in his arm.” I choke out, each word slicing me open as my worst nightmare unfolds before my eyes.
“Fuck, how did he get his hands on the hard stuff?” Roan says in disbelief. The voice in my head said it wasn’t him, he’s worked too hard, come too far. Kayden’s been clean since he’s been here, something he was so proud of. No, this has Thom written all over it. That fucking piece of shit.
“I-I d-don’t know but I think it was forced on him?—”
Roan scoffs. “Mate, once an addict always an addict. It’s a disease they can’t fight. Addiction is a spectre that haunts even the strongest of us.” No, my angel is different, he’s a fighter he wouldn’t give in without a fight. My eyes drop to his slender neck and it’s then that I notice bruising around his throat the pattern like fingerprints inked into his skin.
“R-Roan,” I cry, my voice breaking. “H-he’s got fingerprints on his neck like someone tried to strangle him.”
“Shit.” Roan curses, the gravity of the situation sinking in. “Alright hold on, Rhys. I’ve got a few shots of Narcan with me and I’ve notified the on-call doctor to get a bed ready for him in the medical wing.”
The sound of the revving engine fills the air like a beacon of hope in the darkness I’m drowning in pushing back the heart wrenching panic that’s sunk its claws into me. “Can you drop a pin so I can track your location? I’ll be there as soon as I can.” Roan urges.
I pull the phone away from my ear and put it on loud speaker with trembling hands, the urgency of the moment fueling my actions. “Ollie, get all the residents inside—no one needs to see this,” he barks.
“T-thank you Roan.”
“Hey… hey stay with me okay.” His voice is a steady anchor amidst the turmoil. “I know this is a shitty thing to happen when you’re so new but you’ve been amazing. Probably saved the kid’s life. Just stay with him and I’ll be there right away.”
“He’s coming, baby… Just hold on a little longer for me, okay? I’m begging you, angel. Please, don’t let go,” I plead, my voice barely above a whisper against his blue tinged lips, tears tracing silent paths down his pale skin. “I haven’t had the chance to love you yet, not the way I truly want to. Openly, freely. I want to shout from the rooftops how amazing you are… So just hold on…” With trembling fingers, I brush back the strands of hair stuck to his face, running my fingers through it with a tenderness born of desperation, a silent prayer to whatever powers may be listening.
The rumbling of an engine cuts through the silent hellscape I’m lost in and in the blink of an eye, Roan is on his knees next to me digging around in a black bag and pulls out two white packets. “How’s his pulse?”
“Fading, I can barely feel anything.” My words brittle as they catch in my throat. “But I can feel his breaths on the back of my hand.”
“Alright, we’ll go with the nasal spray. Can you open the other packet for me while I’m doing this one?” Roan’s firm tone helps me focus on what needs to be done. He places the nozzle of the Narcan spray into Kayden’s nostril and pushes it down with his thumb.
“Here.” I hand him a second one. “How long do we have to wait to see if it helped?”
“It should take effect in a couple of minutes but if we don’t see anything we’ll use the second one then move him back to the house.”
If I thought the world had halted when I found him, it felt like the heavens themselves were crumbling down around us as I watched the seconds tick by on my watch. Each heartbeat echoed like a drum in my ears, counting down the unbearable passage of time. One hundred and twenty seconds stretched out like an infinite eternity, each moment a torment of uncertainty and fear. I prayed to every deity, from the highest heavens to the deepest depths of hell, for each excruciating second to pass swiftly and for Kayden to hold on just a little longer.
“Come on, baby. You’ve got this,” I breathe against the hand I’ve got cradled against my face under the pretence of checking his pulse. It’s in the ensuing silence that I finally understood all the ways I could die but still be alive.
“Two minutes is up, how’s his pulse?” Roan asks, checking Kayden’s eyes and inspecting the colour of his lips.
“No c-change.” My breath hitches, choking me as a fresh wave of tears pour from my eyes.
“This one will work, come on kid,” Roan grunts as he depresses the plunger on the second shot of Narcan. He pushes up and slings the bag on his front. “We don’t have time to waste Rhys, we need to get him to the medical wing.” he looks down at Kayden, the blue of his lips fading slightly, easing the pressure on my chest. “You alright to pick him up while I drive us back?”
“You got it.” I brush a quick kiss against Kayden’s lips as I dip down to lift him into my arms, his head resting against my neck, the steady puffs of breath growing stronger each time. Roan wastes no time in starting the quad up and peeling out of the wood like the damn thing runs on rocket fuel.
* * *
One hour bleeds into another,each passing moment feeling like an eternity trapped in the relentless grip of time. It’s as if I’m stuck in purgatory, condemned to replay the same agonising scene on an endless loop. The shadows shift imperceptibly, the only indication that time passes, indifferent to my anguish.
My eyes burn with unshed tears, but I can’t close them, scared one blink will make me miss some sign of life from Kayden. My fingers are intertwined with his, as I cling to him with a desperation born of love and fear. I refuse to let go—I will never let go—needing that tangible connection to reassure me that he’s still here, still fighting.
I love you, angel.
The sterile scent of antiseptic hangs heavy in the air, suffocating me, tormenting me. It’s a stark reminder that places like this save as many lives as they lose. I will not lose you! You can’t leave me—again. The soft beep of monitors and the rhythmic hum of machines are a constant reminder of the precarious balance between life and death as Kayden dances perilously between them. Part of me wants to smash them, to silence their ominous symphony, but another part clings to their steady rhythm as a beacon of hope.
“I’m here, angel.” My lips brush against his forehead in a tender caress. His scent, familiar and intoxicating, wraps around me like a comforting blanket in the darkness. He’s my anchor, my guiding light through the storm—my centre. “When you wake up, baby, I promise I’ll get you out of here.”
Every beat of my heart feels like a dagger piercing my chest, a constant pain that threatens to consume me. I’m adrift in a sea of uncertainty, lost without him by my side. I feel so fucking helpless. Utterly useless. I want to rage at the world, scream at everyone that walks in here with a blank face while I’m breaking apart, tearing at the seams. They utter useless platitudes “Be patient” or “he’s a fighter” with barely concealed contempt and disgust in their eyes. The doctors just scoffed at me when I said he didn’t do this to himself, that he wouldn’t, not anymore. They looked at me like I was a fool citing the “once an addict, always an addict” but I know differently. I know which monster tried to break my heart by ripping my soul right out from me. I can’t wait for the day where Thom gets his comeuppance, karma is a bitch as she’s fucking coming for him with a bloodthirsty grin and the devil at her back.
The two doses of Narcan Roan brought with him saved Kayden’s life, without a shadow of a doubt. A minute or two longer and he would have been convulsing and choking on his own vomit—or so Roan said. After running tests the doctors said the amount of Heroin in K’s system could have severe long lasting effects if—fucking if—he makes it through the next forty eight hours so they put him in an induced coma, and ventilated him to give his body the chance to rest and recuperate.
Fifty one hours have passed since they did that. Fifty. One. Hours. That I haven’t left his bedside for anything other than a quick piss. Fifty-one hours of unyielding torment, of whispering promises into the gaping void growing before me, of pleading with Kayden to come back to me. Of begging any deity that might listen to release him back to me. I’d bargain my soul to the devil for his eternal pleasure if it meant he would just wake up. If I could just see a flicker of life return to his crystalline blue eyes, feel the warmth of his lips against me, so he could breathe life back into me one touch at a time.
I thought the months I spent not knowing if he was alive or dead were torture but… Fuck! That’s got nothing on this, this eclipses everything I thought I knew about pain and suffering because that had been a mere drop in the ocean compared to the storm that was ravaging me now. This agony edging me is relentless, a sadistic torment gnawing at my soul with every tick of the clock.
This is a different kind of hell, one even the devil wouldn’t survive. To have him—my angel—so close I can touch him, yet impossibly beyond reach. Close enough that I can trace the contours of his face, the shape of his perfect lips and feel his soft exhales against my skin. Where my fingers can run through his hair and I can bury my face in the crook of his neck inhaling his scent like it’s the last atoms of air for my dying lungs. But be denied the sound of his voice, and the feel of being in his arms again.
Fuck, I’d take him screaming at me, endure his anger… if he would just wake up. Please angel, fucking please. My tears carve rivers down my cheeks, etching pathways of despair into my skin. Each one a testament to my suffering and this endless wait.
Tick, tock.
Tick. tock.
Nothing and I mean nothing is more important to me than this—than him. How anyone could think otherwise is beyond me. Luckily Roan has smoothed things over with Jenna for me so I can stay here at K’s bedside without interruption but I know I’m running out of time on that front. Without her knowing the truth, who Kayden really is to me, the lies Roan is telling her are about as effective as putting a plaster on a bullet hole.
“Kayden, angel.” A sob rips from my chest. “I-I can’t do this anymore. I…” I wet my dry lips with my tongue and suck in a shuddering breath. “Come back to me… c-come home.” I lean my forehead against his, cradling his face in the palm of my hand. My thumb gently caresses his skin, praying the sensation of my touch will make his eyes open. I release a heavy exhale, the weight of the world crushing down on me. “I love you, Kayden. Always have. Always will. If you don’t come back to me in this life I will spend eternity chasing after you in hell.” My lips meld to his, as I lean into this fragile connection between us, desperation forcing me to keep taking from him before he’s pried from my grasp.
A gasp echoes around the room like cannon fire, reverberating through my skull. I wrench myself away from K with a snarl on my lips as I face the door. “What the hell…” My words die on my lips when I see Jenna standing there mouth agape, arms crossed over her chest, shoulders rising swiftly. The unreadable expression on her face doesn’t change when her eyes finally focus on mine, weariness filling her usually kind brown depths.
“I c-can explain?—”
She raises a hand silencing me. “Save it,” she snaps. “I want you in my office immediately.”
“No.”
“You’re not in any position to argue with me, Rhys.” Raising her hand she points at Kayden’s motionless form. “This is gross misconduct at best here, what you were doing just a moment ago,” she sighs, heavily. “That is so, so, so, much worse.”
“Y-you don’t understand it’s not like that.” My voice wavers, as all the implications of her words flash through my mind like a devastating forest fire. “You don’t understand.”
“You’re right, I don’t. But what I said still stands.” She opens the door, gesturing for me to leave.
“I’m not going anywhere until he’s awake and aware of what’s going on.” She goes to speak again but it’s my turn to silence her. “Jenna, I say this with all due respect. You are not paying me to be here. You do not understand who he is to me.” I tear my eyes away from her back to Kayden’s sleeping form, afraid to look away for a second. “I will not leave him until he makes me.”
“That–”
“Save it. I’ve said what I’ve said and nothing you can say or do is changing my mind,” I bite out through gritted teeth and watch the fight drain out of her as her shoulders sag and her eyes take on a glassy quality.
“Fine!” The door closes behind her leaving me alone in the solitude of his silence.
“Well, shit. I guess the cats out of the bag, angel.” My words tumbling out in an unfiltered rush as anxiety and uncertainty war within me. It’s as if a floodgate has opened, and I’m powerless to stem the torrent of thoughts pouring out of me. “I hope you’re ready to tell her everything. I am, I can’t go on acting like I don’t know you, like you don’t mean fucking everything to me. No matter what happens next, angel, it’s you and me. Together, forever and always.”
A subtle pressure around my fingers steals the air from my lungs. Did he just? I shake my head, it can’t be. Am I dreaming? Hallucinating? My heart hammers against my ribs, my lungs pinching tight as the pressure surring them builds and builds until I can’t breathe. I gently squeeze them back, “Angel?” I whisper, my voice wavers with uncertainty, too afraid my mind is playing tricks on me, “Are you coming back to me?” Emotion clogs up my throat threatening to suffocate me as I cling to the fragile thread of hope and press my lips to our entwined fingers, each kiss a desperate plea for him to come home. “Please…please…”