Page 20

Soft puffs of air tease the side of my neck, caressing me with a warmth I feel take root in the marrow of my bones and spread throughout my body. That sensation has me battling against the drugging effect of sleep trying to hold me prisoner. The anticipation of knowing what I’ll see when I wake up is like a shot of adrenalin straight to my heart that has me fighting off its dark clutches. I pry my heavy lidded eyes open, craving the sight that slowly comes into focus in the dark room.

My lips part instinctively as I turn my head, eagerly inhaling his exhales, drawing them deep into my lungs to imprint his essence within me. With an almost desperate need, I wrap my arms around him, pulling him closer as if trying to fuse our bodies into one, ensuring he can never slip away from me again. His leg hooks over my hip, anchoring me to him, while mine finds its place between his in an intimate embrace only shared by lovers. There is no beginning and no end, we are two halves of one soul. I just have to make him accept it. Believe me. That starts with the truth. The one I am hiding and the one he is.

The sensation of his skin against mine is unparalleled, it feels like cool silk draped over my senses. I trace the contours of his spine with reverent fingers, each protruding notch, every raised silver scar, a testament to his strength and resilience. Hidden amidst the shadows lie intricate tattoos, delicate lines begging to be explored, to be traced by my tongue.

A weary sigh escapes my lips, I bury my head in his hair as I try and work out how to keep him and help heal his damaged soul. I know I don’t own him no matter how much I wish I could chain him to me until he accepts that he is worthy of being loved, and loved by me. Kayden might think he’s broken and to be honest all facts point to that but he’s so much more than he knows. He’s special in so many ways. His self hatred cuts me to the bone, cleaves my heart open and leaves me gasping for breath.

“You’re thinking very loudly over there,” K rasps, his voice thick with sleep.

“Sorry.” My eyes squeeze shut as they start to burn with emotion, I can feel what’s coming before he says it and fuck, I’m not ready to let go.

He pulls his leg off my hip and unlaces his arms from around my neck. “I need to go?—”

“No. Stay, please?” He looks up at me, thick lashes frame his blue eyes clouded with sleep, a flicker of confusion filters across his face. His fingers flex on my neck toying with the short hairs making me shudder.

“I don’t want you to get into trouble, Rhys.” he swallows audibly and his eyes shutter closed. Concealing his thoughts and emotions as his face goes blank, that indignant mask he usually wears sliding into place.

I grab his chin between my thumb and index finger and tip his head back. At this angle our lips are level, almost touching it would take nothing to seal them together but I can feel he’s getting ready to run. Kayden is at his most vulnerable when he wakes his usual defences are down and he’s nothing but a broken, bleeding heart lost in the myriad of darkness that he drowns in. “I want you to stay, just for a little bit.” I wet my lips, “It’s still early.” I cast a glance over his shoulder seeing the veil of night slowly beginning to lift, unveiling the first hints of light on the horizon like shadows retreating from a blazing fire.

“I… I really shouldn’t—” I slam my lips down on his. He gasps in surprise, lips parting like the answer to a prayer my tongue licks into his willing mouth. He groans as I taste him, tease him and drink him down. I don’t know who moves but the next moment I’m straddling his hip, my arms braced on either side of his head as I hold him still and silence his protests with my body.

My cock thickens as it brushes against his hard length making him groan at the slow sensual roll of my body against his. I swallow it down before feeding him a moan of my own. This right here is where I want to be for the rest of my life. Lost in him like the rest of the world doesn’t exist, hidden away in a heaven of our own making.

“Angel,” I breathe against his lips, resting my forehead against his. His flushed skin is a mirror of my own, as lust and addiction superheat the blood in my veins. “I need you.” I pull back and pepper open mouthed kisses all over his face and scrape my teeth over the stubble lining his jaw before working my way down his throat and nibbling on his Adam’s apple.

I nibble and suckle at the column of his throat, eliciting a low moan from K as his hands glide down my back, finding purchase on my arse. His fingers dig into the sore muscles, kneading them with purpose before asserting his dominance, guiding my movements with an iron grip.

With each controlled thrust, the fabric of our boxers is the only barrier between us, the friction igniting a primal desire that courses through our bodies. We move in synchrony, lost in the intoxicating rhythm. “Take them off.” Kayden yanks them over my arse, I lift my hips to allow him to pull them down before kicking them off. My hard length slaps against my abs, smearing precum across my stomach the feel of the cool air against my silken length only ratchets my need for him higher.

“Your turn,” I groan as wave after wave of sensation washes over me. The telltale sign of my oncoming orgasm building like a fire at the base of my spine. Blue flames dance in his eyes chasing away the haunted pain that was flickering like shadows only moments ago. “Up.” I pull at the elastic of his boxers demanding—needing—to feel his hot length against mine. Kayden’s lips curl in a salacious smirk as he thrusts up against me, his cockhead notching against the plug inside me. “Oh, fuck. Oh, my god.”

“Forgot about that, did you?” He snarls, punching his hips against it again, making me throw my head back as the plug hits my prostate and waves of ecstasy flood my body. “How does it feel knowing you slept like a baby filled with my cum, little devil?”

My teeth sink into my lip and I shake my head as pleasure pulses in my ass, drugging me as the outside world fades away. His body, his touch is the sweetest temptation. An insanity that can’t be cured. I brace one hand on his chest and push my hips back into his hands leaving enough room for me to rip his boxers down and release his thick cock. It springs free, crown flushed a deep red, a pearl of precum oozing from the slit glinting in the growing light of dawn. That image now seared into my brain has saliva pooling in my mouth as a desperation to taste him burns my throat.

K’s fingers dig into the flesh of my arse as he hauls me back against him lining our cocks up against each other. With a vise-like grip he thrusts up, rolling his hips so our slick lengths slide against each other. “Yes… angel…more.”

A wicked chuckle leaves his swollen lips, my eyes tracking the pink tip of his tongue as it runs across his top teeth. “Oh. My. Fucking. God,” I shout as he thrusts up into me and pushes down hard against the plug in my arse, black dots dance across my vision as pleasure so visceral rips through me stealing the air from my lungs.

“Ah, ah, ah.” K chides wrapping his hand around the base of my throbbing length, squeezing it tightly. “You don’t get to cum until I say, Rhys.” The spots in my vision clear and I glare at him. “Is that a threat? Do you not want to come?”

“No, it…it wasn’t. Please… please,” I whine, shaking my head furiously. My palms slide up his slick pecs, sliding under the pillow and I bury my face in the crook of his neck. Inhaling his dark scent like it was a line of pure coke and I would die if I didn’t feel the burn of it in my blood right now. I nip and suck at the sensitive skin of his neck and lick along the vein fluttering against his skin. “Please, please, please angel.” I chant against the shell of his ear, my lips brushing him with every word eliciting full body shudders from him.

“Be careful what you wish for, baby,” he growls, his fingers sinking into my flesh like he’s trying to touch my bones. Before my brain can catch up he’s flipped us around and I’m face down on the bed, arse up in the air. “You want to come?”

“Yes…” He slaps my arse so hard I can feel the imprint of his palm sear into my skin. I arch my back so my chest is flush with the damp sheet underneath me and hear him hum in appreciation as his fingers trail down my spine tracing patterns that leave goosebumps in their wake.

“I’ll let you come, only when I’ve filled you so full of mine that it’s working its way up your throat.” I swallow as flames of lust lick across my skin. “Now, I want you to clench when I pull the plug out of you.” A stilted moan works its way up my throat as images assault my mind painted by his filthy words. “I don’t want you to lose a single drop, do you hear me?”

My fingers dig into the sheet, my head rocking from side to side as I try to find the words to answer him. Another balancing crack of his palm sets my other cheek alight, ripping garbled sounds from my soul.

“I need your words, little devil.” I can feel the weight of his gaze stripping away the layers of my skin as he impatiently waits for me to answer. His control fraying more and more with each passing second.

“I understand.” I clench in anticipation sucking the plug deeper into me. A feral growl rends the air as pressure at my entrance grows as Kayden gently slips the plug from my arse.

“Of fuck, that is a beautiful sight,” he grinds out, as the wet cum covered plug lands right before my eyes staining the sheets. “Now keep every drop inside while I fil l you up.” His hand caresses the side of my face, thumb trailing down to my bottom lip and pulling it open. “Spit.” He orders as if I could do anything but follow him as I drip the pooling saliva in my mouth off my tongue onto his hand. “Good, boy. My little slut gets to be filled with my cum.”

“Please,” I whimper as my hole contracts clenching around nothing as schlick, schlick, schlick rings out as K works his length with fast rough flicks of his wrist.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck baby… I’m n-not gonna last,” he growls. “Pull your cheeks apart, little devil, so I can fill you up.” My hands fly back, fingers sinking in between my cheeks as I pull them apart and spread my legs. Thanks to the plug stretching me I can feel my entrance is wide open and waiting for his release.

“Look at that puffy red rim, fuck, do you now how filthy you look? Such a dirty slut. You want my cum?”

“Y-yes.”

“Arch that back, baby.” My body follows his command on autopilot just as an animalistic shout tears its way out of Kayden and thick ropes of cum sear across my skin before his crown pushes into my entrance. His tip pulses as I feel his hot cum flood my channel.

“Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck!” My balls draw up tight hugging my base, the tingle at the base of my spine detonates like an atomic bomb as his cum drips down my crack. “Angel… I… I…”

Slick fingers work down my length, and his thumb teasing my slit is all it takes to push me off the cliff edge and send me spiralling into oblivion. Jets of creamy cum fly from my pulsing dick and into my angel’s waiting hand. “Such a fucking, good boy.” His gravelly tone, and hot cum have a secondary orgasm ignite in my ass sending another wave of my release through my slit leaving me gasping for air and clutching at the wrecked sheet beneath me.

“Hmmmm, you taste so good, Rhys. I could eat your cum for every meal.”

“Oh fuck,” I whimper as I feel the tip of his tongue circle my entrance setting the already sensitive skin off like a fireworks display. K stiffens his tongue burying it in my ass as he fucks my release into me with his own and I melt under the adoration of his attention.

“Bare down as I slip the plug back in.”

“Ugh,” I grunt as he works the now cold metal back inside me a full body shudder rolls through me as the thickest part breaches me and the tip nestles against my prostate. I’ve never felt so full, so owned, so worshipped as I do right now and it’s all because of him, my angel. My broken stepbrother, he owns me right down to my soul, in this life and everyone that is to come. Even if we spend eternity in hell, it will be worth every second to have known what his brand of love feels like.

“Right, I better be going.” The bed dips and rises as he moves. I feel the distance between us more than seeing Kayden get off the bed and move across the room. A coldness creeps across me making me shiver, my skin prickles as goosebumps cover me. A feeling of abandonment seeps through me, crystallising the blood in my veins, slowing my heart as if its reason for beating has ceased.

“Angel,” I force the word past the lump lodged in my throat, my voice thick with emotion, fingers fidgeting with the sheets pooled around my waist. Uncertainty clouds my mind as I struggle between the urge to retreat beneath the covers or to bare my soul and confront him head-on. “We need to talk, I?—“

“No.” His interruption slices through the air like a blade, severing the fragile thread connecting us. My gaze snaps to him, forgetting to draw breath as I drink in the sight of him. Holy-fucking-shit. My mouth goes dry as his black skinny jeans cling to his long legs, accentuating the curve of his perfect ass, a sight that ignites a primal hunger within me. But the darkness swirling in his eyes erases any fleeting desires, overshadowed by the storm raging within him.

“I-I think you owe?—“

Kayden’s once-blue eyes are swallowed by a tempest of black, a whirlwind of pain and anger swirling within them, and it pierces me to the core that I don’t know the origin of his torment. He advances towards me, each step heavy with menace until he looms over the edge of the bed. His chest heaves with emotion, hands trembling as he zips up his jeans, muscles taut and pulsing with tension. “I don’t owe you anything,” he growls, his voice laced with bitterness.

“I-I…” My words catch in my throat, suffocating under the weight of the silence that stretches between us. Our night of passion—intimacy—the vulnerability we laid bare, now feels like a distant memory, erased off the face of the earth. We’re in a desolate world, on opposite sides of a no man’s land neither one of us is strong enough to cross. I ache to bridge the divide, to kneel at his feet and beg for forgiveness, to prove that I can be his equal, his partner.

I meet his gaze as he silently seethes at me, his facade fractures and I see the mountain of pain he’s hiding from me. The raw vulnerability bleeding from him slashes at my skin, shattering me to my core.

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” He sinks his hands into his hair yanking at the strands making them stick up in all directions as he turns his back on me and folds into himself. A shuddering breath pierces the blanket of uncertainty that’s suffocating us. His hands fall to his sides, but my eyes track his thumb as he pushes it against the tip of each finger. Recognition echoes in my mind, a million moments flicker into focus in my mind of Kayden repeating this action all throughout our childhood, it’s a stimming reflex he employs when his anxiety gets too much.

“Kayden?” I say softly, he doesn’t move, just continues the action. “Kayden?” I say clearer. “Can you hear me?” He’s utterly oblivious, lost inside the hellscape that is his mind and I need to bring him back or I fear I’ll lose him forever.

My feet carry me to him before my brain even catches up, I’m wrapping my arms around his waist pulling him into me. His exposed skin is cold as it comes into mine, his back to my chest, he stiffens at first before melting into me. My hands coast over his abs and chest, fingertips trailing along the defined contours of his abs and subtle adonis melt. But what concerns me the most is how pronounced his ribs are, it takes everything in me not to lose my temper with him and force him to eat.

I’ve always known K has issues when it comes to food, but I don’t know where it stems from. Is it an eating disorder or something else completely? A trauma response? Self preservation? I have no fucking clue and it’s killing me to see him fading away and not being able to help.

I feel more than see him sigh as his chest rises and falls against my palms, the exaggerated movement seems to ripple through his body. His body slumps the tension leaching out of him but as it does, exhaustion seems to carve shadows into his skin. My fingers dig into his skin, as if I could anchor myself there as I rip the plaster off my heart. “I’m sorry, K,” I breathe against his neck. “You don’t owe me anything.” I clear my throat and wet my lips as I steel myself enough to force the words out. “I want to know what happened when you vanished,” His breath hitches. “Not because I’m angry but because I want to help you, in any way I can.”

“Y-you c-can’t?—”

I slap my hand over his mouth. “I love you, Kayden.” He shakes his head. “I know you don’t think you’re worthy of my love but you are.” I grab his jaw and turn his head to face me, oceans of pain surge in the dark depths of his eyes. “You are worth more than anything in this world to me. If you aren’t strong enough to fight for yourself… I will fight for you. I will carry you through the darkness that’s stealing you away from me and bring you into the light.”

“I don’t deserve you,” his voice is as soft as a dandelion seed on the wind. “I will only ruin you, Rhys.” Agony etched into his features, nothing but raw honesty on his face. My heart shatters to dust, he truly believes he is utterly worthless and beyond help.

“I think in a sense, we are all prisoners of a memory—a moment frozen in time—a fear or a disappointment,” I murmur, brushing away the tears tracing paths down his cheeks with my thumb. I lift the salty droplets to my lips, tasting the raw emotions that threaten to consume him, before pressing a gentle kiss to his skin and sucking them away. “We’re shaped by the weight of our past, by the things we cannot change, angel. But you’re not alone in that. I’ll stand with you in the shadows on the days when facing the world feels impossible, when the thought of leaving your bed is too much to bear. I’ll be there by your side.”

My voice carries a solemn vow as I continue, determination lacing each word. “I’ll hold your hand when the voices in your head scream for release, when you’re tempted to carve your pain into your flesh until the world becomes a macabre canvas of your torment. Through light and darkness, night and day, I’ll be right beside you, carrying you when your strength falters... if only you’ll let me.”

“I-I don’t know how to…” I cup his face with my hand, my thumb stroking his cheek as his eyes shutter closed, I tilt my head as I watch a myriad of emotion flicker across his face.

“You don’t know how to let me? How to tell me?”

“Yes,” he breathes against my lips, his breath stuttering like that one cost him so much.

“It’s simple, angel.” I brush my lips against his once, twice then pull back not taking it any further. This isn’t about sex it’s about connection and comfort. Love. “We do it together. One day at a time, step by step. You don’t deserve this pain, Kayden. No one does. You didn’t ask for it. You weren’t created for it and you don’t deserve to be eternally punished by it.”

“Okay.” His fingers find their way into my hair, he uses his grip to pull my head to his. “I will tell you everything—I promise—I just need a little more time.” He vows, each word seared into me by the soft caress of his lips. Oh angel, I can hear the drums of war.