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“That’s it baby, be a good little slut and open up for me.” His soft voice hums low and seductive. It rolls over my skin, his fingertips trace across it mapping out all the changes. It’s been too long since he touched me. A soft sigh escapes my lips.

My lashes flutter as I fight to keep my eyes closed. I want to see him, I need to know he’s really there. Touching me, teasing me… it’ll never be enough, especially when it isn’t real.

His rough palms slide up my calves, pushing up under my knees, spreading me wide. Displaying my most intimate parts like an offering at an altar for him to worship in. I turn my head slightly, biting into my pillow to keep the whimper working up my throat contained. I’m not awake nor am I asleep, I’m in that strange in-between where your mind makes dreams real and reality a dream.

His hot breath fans over my cheeks before the soft brush of his dry lips sends electricity dancing over my skin. My cock thickens where it’s trapped between my body and the bed sheets. It’s as desperate as I am to feel his touch.

Biting kisses nip across my cheeks, marking me. Claiming me. If only they were real enough to stay, so I could stare at them in the mirror like an unending reminder of him. I’d trace them with my fingertips and find a way to immortalise them, like the tattoo that now lives on my chest.

A warm wet tongue laves away the sting from his teeth as they sink into the sensitive flesh, stirring up a storm in my blood as it rushes to the surface. My body wants to push back into him. Take me… all of me, angel… please. Own me.

“You smell so fucking good,” he groans as he inhales my scent. It is obscene. It’s primal and everything I’ve sought out in my dreams. Everything I’ve missed for months, I’ve craved his dark depravity with all the vigour of an addict going cold turkey.

Thumbs skim along my cleft, before digging in deep, and applying enough pressure to open me up, exposing me to him. Making me vulnerable in a way I’ve only ever been with him. A way I will never be with anyone else.

“Such a fucking pretty pussy,” he murmurs reverently, his hot breath brushing over me just before his spit lands on my puckered hole. I feel myself contract at that exact moment as excitement and lust thunder through me. The fibres of the pillow fray as my teeth sink through them, as I try to maintain the illusion of still being asleep.

He comes at me like a starving man burying his face between the globes of my arse as he feasts on me. Sniffing, licking and sucking on my entrance, setting me on fire. The scent of our combined arousal permeates the air like the most erotic perfume that I’d willingly drown in every day of forever if it meant holding part of him close to me.

“Such a good little slut for me.” His tongue stiffens and pushes through that first ring of muscle entering me, loosening me for his cock. Saliva slicks down my taint and trickles over my balls making me shudder. I rut against the cotton sheets, needing more friction than they give me.

A hand snakes under me brushing against my taint, I lift my hips allowing him access to my cock. His fingers wrap around my shaft stroking it in time with his tongue thrusting into me. He pushes in deeper as my entrance relaxes, he groans as my essence coats his tongue and he swipes his thumb over my leaking slit.

“Such a needy, little hole, desperate for my cock to sink all the way in.” I push back against him chasing his wicked tongue as he pulls further back from me but his hand never stops working my length, stoking the fire burning inside me into a raging inferno.

Precum leaks from my slit lubricating his hand allowing it to glide up and down my shaft. I wish I could see him, replace the faceless man that haunts my dreams but I’m too scared to open my eyes.

Hands grip my hips positioning me, so my arse is sticking up in the air whilst my head is being pushed into my pillow. The click of the lube lid resonates through the almost silence of my room that’s punctuated by our heavy panting breaths. Cold liquid trickles down my cleft before his thumb scoops it up and circles my entrance. Slowly teasing the relaxed muscles before opening me up.

One thumb becomes two as he holds my needy hole open, the bed dips before he spits into me a desperate whimper creeps up my throat as my lashes flutter fighting to open my eyes, I squeeze them shut until stars burst behind my closed eyelids. Don’t open your eyes, idiot, it’ll all end if you do, don’t ruin it now.

“You gonna take my cock like a good little slut?” He growls as his fat head breaches my entrance, the stinging burn makes me feel more alive than I have in what feels like forever. It feels like I’ve lived a lifetime without him. He sinks into me in one long deep thrust, bottoming out when his pelvis meets the globes of my arse.

He inhales deeply, pushing himself deeper inside me making my channel clench around him as if it never wants to let go. Finally I feel the broken pieces of me start to move back together one splintered piece at a time. My heart stutters in its inhospitable cage.

“I’m going to fuck you so hard, little devil that you’ll never forget what it feels like having me inside you.”

“Never,” I mewl into the pillow, saliva pooling from my lips as the smell of sex drowns my senses.

“I want you to remember what it feels like to be owned by me,” he grunts, falling over me, his slick chest rubbing against my back with each vicious thrust.

“Remember...” I pant in time with his thrusts.

“It will never feel the same with anyone else.”

“Never.” I cry out as he strikes my prostate like it’s his life mission.

“No one will ever own you like I do. Mind.” Thrust. “Body.” Thrust. “And soul.” Thrust.

“No one will ever?—“

“You’re mine, little devil,” he breathes reverently, sinking his teeth into the soft skin where my neck meets my shoulder. I feel the moment they break the surface and my super heated blood trickles from his claiming mark.

“I’m—“

“Who do you belong to?”

“You,” I sob as a kaleidoscope of colours burst behind my eyes.

“Who owns you?” His rumbling groan rolls through his chest into me like electricity.

“You do, angel. Always. Only. You.”

You once told me your soul spoke to me every night in your dreams. You think I didn’t, but I heard you—I always heard you. Your words echoed in my soul as missing pieces slowly slid into place.

I don’t just speak to you in my dreams. I feel you with every part of me. I feel your touch on my skin burned into me, your teeth sinking in and marking me, claiming me. I feel the depth of your toxic love branding my heart and soul. You have irrevocably changed me at an atomic level. Altered each cell possessing it with your essence.

I can’t breathe without you. Every breath I take fills my lungs with acid. I don’t want to exist in a world where you don’t anymore. You have ripped the foundations of the earth from under my feet, and I’m free falling into madness, an insanity that can’t be cured because no matter how vile you thought you were, to me, you’re my salvation. The one thing that can cure me before there is nothing left.

I’m clinging on by my fingertips as this rocky ledge starts to crumble.

Where are you? My mind and my heart battle daily, angel. My mind tries to trick me with reason that you no longer walk this earth but my heart, as fragile and broken as it might be, clings to that fucking elusive thing called hope.

It wants me to believe you’re out there somewhere, fighting to come back to me.

Are you?

Do you miss me like I bleed for you?

I’m a shadow, a husk, a ruinous thing without you.

I just wish… I wish for so many things… I fear dreaming and hoping as much as I fear the dawn of a new day knowing twenty four hours have passed and you’ve been absent like a gaping black hole in my soul.

I wish…

I wish to turn back time. To grab it by its fickle threads and unweave them and go back to that day moment. No, that fucking second and rewrite it all. I just…

I need you in ways you would never allow yourself to believe. I just can’t exist without you anymore. I’d swap my life for yours if it came to it. You deserve to live! You’ve always deserved to live. You’ve never had the chance, but you do, and so much fucking more.

You are worthy of love. You have all of my love and always have! It may have taken me some time to truly understand what I felt for you, but every beat of my pathetic heart is yours until the end of time.

Until I stop breathing because there is nothing left to fight for.

I want you.

I need you.

Come back to me… put an end to this nightmare.

I miss you angel…