Page 12

LOGAN

T he sound of wood snapping beneath Dean Tucker’s rage-fueled weight echoed in my head as I wandered into the mess hall for lunch.. He had stood there like a child caught red handed but hadn’t said a word otherwise.

I backed away from him and didn’t see him again until practice. He’d shown up with that dumb, bright smile and positive attitude, like he hadn’t disintegrated a wooden bat against a tree an hour earlier. It was both perplexing and infuriating.

He ran practice the same way he had all week—switching players, blindfolding us, forcing communication until we could run a play without stumbles or accidents. I managed to get my hands on a roster. Ella was more than willing to help and I was starting to see why they all went to bat for her so often. It was maddening.

I woke up even earlier and, after a quick run, I found a quiet spot to study their names, but there were so many of them and Dean continued to switch out the teams, forcing me to figure out who was who on a strangled timeline.

The worst part of it all was that seeing Dean so worked up actually made me like him more. The show pony he was in front of everyone else was sickening and fake. I felt drawn to the anger that he was hiding; the frustration he rarely let bubble to the surface. I found myself wanting to know more and that was the last thing I needed. I refused to let the inkling of curiosity derail my focus. Baseball, winning season, graduate. Get the fuck out of Harbor.

That was the short list.

The only list.

Figuring out the mystery that was Dean Tucker wasn’t on it.

“You like hot dogs?” Cael wandered up behind me in the doorway of the mess hall, keeping his distance but standing shoulder to shoulder with me.

“Sure.” I shrugged and started toward one of the tables. I slid into a seat next to him and looked at the bowl in the center of the table. “What the fuck is that?”

“Hot dogs,” Van chirped and leaned over the bowl, scooping out a heaping spoonful of noodles and wieners.

“It was Mitchell’s turn to make lunch.” Arlo stared at the bowl. “He only knows how to make Kraft Dinner and hot dogs, just…eat it.”

“It looks like toxic waste,” I muttered, taking the spoon from Van but handing it to Cael. I watched them all eat from the bowl like they actually enjoyed it before my eyes wandered, looking around for Dean, but his hulking frame wasn’t at any of the tables.

It was weird how often he missed meals but no one called him out for it. Yet if I missed one I’d be hunted down and hogtied. One by one everyone finished their food and left the table, either to help clean or to prepare for the afternoon's exercises. Eventually it was just me, picking away at the gross, swollen sliced pork with a grimace on my face. I forced myself to eat half a bowl of lunch before giving up and finally pushing it away.

“What? Is our food not good enough for you now?” Todd snapped from behind me as he walked by.

“Just not hungry,” I said, in a defeated attempt to keep the peace.

“Sure, or…” Todd leaned over the table. "You’re a picky asshole just finding reasons to cause trouble.”

“Listen, Todd, the only person causing trouble right now is you.” I turned my head to look up at him and sighed. “Please just fuck off.”

“I’ve been meaning to ask–why the hell are you here? You clearly don’t want to be. The only reason we can come up with is that you’re an inside man trying to ruin our season.”

“An inside man?” I laughed. “You’ve been watching too many Mission Impossible movies.” I sighed and pushed to get up from the table, but a set of hands shoved me back onto the chair. I snarled and they lifted quickly but the chair was surrounded by a few more of the lesser-known members of the Hornets. Baker, Taylor and Matthenson all hovered around Todd like some sort of half-wit gang, with their arms crossed and scowls on their dumb faces.

It was a win-lose situation. On the one hand, I knew all their names, and on the other, I was probably about to get my ass kicked by them.

“You’re going to tell us why the fuck you’re here, Logan.” Todd looked ready to fight no matter what I said—and that alone was enough to raise my hackles.

“You needed a pitcher.” I gave him the most basic answer with a smile, knowing that it would drive him over the edge.

“We had back-up. It had nothing to do with need . Why the fuck are you here?” He repeatedly slammed his hand on the table.

“Oooh, some of you Hornets sting after all.” I looked him up and down. “You want to know why I’m here, Todd?” I rose slowly from the table.

“Wouldn’t have asked the question if I knew the answer, prick.” Todd stepped back as I swung my leg around and stepped toward him. The other three tightened the circle but showed no signs of action as Todd went on guard.

“I’m here because I picked out the biggest fucking meat head on our team and I beat the shit out of him so badly he rotted in a hospital bed for three days.” I dropped my tone and the words came out tight but smooth off my tongue, like knives to Todd’s seemingly tough exterior.

“Yeah fucking right,” Todd looked me over. “You’re the pussy that got laid out by a girl,” he said and I shoved him then, hard. He tumbled backwards into a table and scrambled to his feet.

He came at me with his hands raised but missed his swing and lost his balance again, slamming into Baker and needing their help to keep him upright. His anger boiled out of control, rage licking at his usually goofy features, and I could see him losing himself. The weaker their grasp on their static-charged emotions, the sloppier they got.

They needed to learn how to throttle their feelings; to use them in a productive manner.

When he lunged forward again, I didn’t hold back. I brought my hand back and drove it into his stomach as he reached for me, knocking the wind out of him and leaving him fighting for his next breath.

The other three weren’t having it though; they all jumped on the chance to make up for Todd’s shortcomings. Baker had slipped behind me in the jumble, and I could feel his arms slip beneath mine before I could move away. His hands dug into the back of my neck as he held me still. I wriggled to get free, but with my arms pinned upward I didn’t have the leverage as Todd composed himself and came at me again.

He pulled back and slammed a fist into my face. The old break in my nose lit up and brought stinging tears to my eyes. I kicked my foot out and shoved him back, but the other two were quick to take his place. I prepared myself for the pain but it never came. Dean wrapped Taylor up in a head lock and grabbed Matthenson by the scruff of his sweater throwing him backward.

“Cut it out!” He warned in a deep voice. “Get the hell out of here before I fucking have you all suspended!” He turned on Todd, who thought about throwing another punch, but Dean squared his shoulders and seemed to double in size, hovering over him in a menacing fashion I never knew Dean had in him. “You and I are going to have a conversation later about your weird need to mark your territory.” He pushed on Todd’s chest. “Now leave, and take Baker with you.”

He was contemplating taking on Dean, I could see it all over his features. Todd squared up, his shoulders nowhere near as large as Dean’s, and it was almost laughable. Dean watched him with vicious intent, not backing down for anything.

It was one of the few times he had actually looked like a captain since we’d arrived at camp.

“Yes, Cap.” Todd nodded, after a solid minute of silent glaring between them. “Come on,” he said, waving off Baker, and the grip on my arms finally loosened.

I shoved him off the rest of the way and stepped back from Dean with cloudy vision and warm blood dripping down my face, the copper tang hitting my lips as it cascaded from my nose.

“What the hell was that about?” He asked me, when the mess hall doors swung shut.

“I didn’t start that,” I said, trying to clear my head.

“I didn’t ask if you started it, I asked what it was about.” Dean stepped forward and I stepped back. He sighed and cocked his head to the side with his hands in the air. “I just want to see if it’s broken again,” he said, pointing at my nose.

“It’s not, just agitated,” I replied, carefully rubbing the bridge of my nose between two fingers to feel if anything was out of place. “I’ll go see, Doc.” I said, refusing to use Silas’ name. It was definitely broken, but the thought of Dean getting close enough to set it straight made my stomach sick, so I lied.

“Good. Are you okay?” He asked me.

“I’m fine, Tuck,” I brushed him off. I was impatient to get out of this conversation. “They were just hazing the new kid. It’s out of their system now, so maybe we can finally play some baseball.”

Dean watched me for a moment before stepping to the side and letting me walk past him toward the exit. I knew the answer wasn’t what he wanted, but it was the only one I had to offer. I turned back to look at him and he was still standing there, muscles tense and chest heaving, as the adrenaline rolled through his body.

“Logan,” he warned, before I pushed the door open. “If you don’t figure yourself out, I’m going to have to send you home.”

“Not sure you have that authority, Tuck. Thanks for the save though. " I pushed out into the sun and heading straight for the cabin. There was about an hour before we had to be grouped up for this afternoon's activities so I was going to clean myself up.

Cael was sitting on his bunk with one of his long legs dangling down from the mattress and his hat pulled down over his face. He tipped the brim up at the sound of the door and eyed me carefully as he sat up.

“What the hell?” He exclaimed, taking in the blood stained collar of my hoodie. “You were alone for, like, ten minutes man!”

“Yeah, well, a nose breaks in under thirty seconds. Will you…help?” I asked him, and approached the bed.

He slipped down and hit the ground softly on both feet, positioning himself in front of me. I braced my hand on the mattress and closed my eyes so I didn’t have to stare into his as he reset my nose.

“One, two…” before three he clicked it back into place and pulled back from me to grab a dirty towel that hung on our bunk, handing it to me. “You really need to learn to keep your mouth shut,” he said with a smile.

“Wasn’t even my fault, Cody. Todd and his band of merry men jumped me in the mess hall.” I waved him off and sunk into the rickety chair in the corner of the cabin with my head tilted back to control the nosebleed.

I could see the annoyance on Cael’s face as he stared toward the door.

“Tuck dealt with them, it’s over. Sit down, you’re shaking like a worked up chihuahua,” the words came out an exhausted grumble.

I closed my eyes, trying to sit still to let the raging headache I was suffering from pass, as my thoughts were bombarded by old memories. I had made a mistake telling Todd what I did; the chances of him running his mouth were low after he was embarrassed by Tucker, but not zero. Soon, his close friends would know about the fight and the rumors would ripple out until they all had their assumptions about what had happened.

The suffocating truth about that night would stay locked away forever behind walls of concrete and steel. They could assume what they wanted about me; I didn’t care and none of them really did either. It was just sick curiosity. They wanted information that could be used in warfare. But I was good at protecting my secrets, and even better at the art of bloodshed than any of them could have imagined. I had been fighting my entire fucking life just to survive, and I wasn’t about to let some hyped-up, drunk, college assholes ruin it for me.

My chest tightened and the worry of what my mom was doing flooded back in; whether or not she was okay. It had been nearly a week of no contact and it was eating at me, so badly that sleep was hard to come by, and I spent way too much time wandering around just trying to get a signal on my phone long enough to call the shelters she frequented.

As predicted, spring camp had been a nightmare.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Cael asked as he moved around the cabin. I heard the bed creak and could feel his eyes on me.

“I’m fine.” I opened one eye and forced a weak smile to my face. My head was pounding and my nose would hurt pretty badly for the next few days but otherwise I was in good shape. “Ella hits harder,” I said, just trying to comfort him.

That was the problem with Cael. No matter how upset I was, or how little the situation had to do with him, I always wanted to make sure he was okay. Comfortable. Safe. That made him laugh though, and he relaxed a little.

“Hey, do you think you could get me a day pass? I need to go into the city.” I looked over at Cael.

“I could try.” He shrugged and stood up. “Change your shirt before team building.” He pointed to the blood drying on the collar, and I nodded at him.

As he left, silence settled in, giving me a few minutes to collect myself before I had to face the wolves again.