Page 1

TUCKER

“N o,” I said, looking Josh over. “That’s really funny, you guys.”

The trees seemed to rustle in protest around us as the wind picked up. I shifted in the gravel beside the running bus and chalked it up to a hallucination from the exhaust fumes. No one moved; their eyes roamed over Joshua Logan like he was a wild animal, and they were trying to process how to make it out alive. There wasn’t a chance in hell that Coach thought this was a smart decision.

Joshua Logan, the irate asshole and former pitcher of the Lorettes, joining our team?

No.

“Sorry, Tuck, it’s not a joke,” Josh snapped. He watched me carefully with fire behind his dark brown eyes. His smile said ‘glad to be here,’ but his eyes held a pitch to them so dark that there was no telling what was going on behind them.

“Don’t call me that.” My voice was steady, but my fists curled at my sides. A few of the guys headed for the bus, sensing the inevitable storm, but Van and Cael lingered—watchdogs in case things got out of hand.

“I don’t want to be here anymore than you do,” Josh said.

“Then why are you here?” Van asked before I could get the words up and out.

“Lorette didn’t need me anymore.” He turned to look at Van, the smug smile never leaving his face. “You needed a pitcher,” he said in a matter-of-fact voice that grated against my skin.

“We don’t need you,” I said, and Cael huffed but put a smile on his face as he stepped between the two of us. His hand was going to rest on Josh’s chest to push us apart.

“Don’t touch me, Cody,” Josh snarled, and the adrenaline spiked in my chest. I pushed forward, but Cael blocked my advance to keep me from the fight.

“Watch your tone,” I warned him, my hands balling into fists at my side.

“I thought you were the soft one, Tuck?” Josh jabbed.

I hated that fucking nickname.

“You wanna test that theory, Logan?” I lashed out, surging forward, causing Cael to shuffle his feet to gain control. Van stepped into the space, ready to assist in breaking up whatever started.

“Alright, boys, we can set up a pudding pool at camp and you can work this out there, but for now… we have a bus to catch,” Cael said, his eyes flickering from Josh to me. “And I don’t make the rules but you have to promise to do the pool shirtless and no headshots. You’re both too pretty for that.” He tapped two fingers to my chest, drawing my attention downward.

“That’s right, Tuck. Listen to your boyfriend and get on the bus. Tail between your legs,” Josh sniped, and part of me wanted to lose my mind, but Cael stared at me, begging me to remember who I was now. Captain, Captain, Captain. It loudly rang through my head.

Van interjected with a smile, and the wind blew around his shaggy sheared mullet. “You know, Josh, this isn’t the best way to start Spring Camp; out in the woods without anyone to hear you scream.”

“You’re annoyingly tall,” Josh noted, gauging Van’s size. “I can take care of myself, Mitchell. Thanks for the advice though.”

That was the problem. Joshua Logan didn’t know how to belong to a team; he liked to win, and he preferred to do it alone.

Cael pushed me back two steps.

“Get on the bus, Dean,” he said quietly, “You can kick his ass in training, come on.”

“Catch you later, Tuck.” Josh smiled at me.

“It’s Captain to you.” I looked him up and down before climbing onto the bus in a huff.

“Take a beat before Arlo comes back here and kicks both our asses,” Cael said to me as we found our seats.

“Is Coach serious?” I shoved my backpack between my legs and stripped from my sweater beside him. Cael, who looked mostly unbothered by the situation, shrugged .

“Have you ever heard my Dad tell a joke?”

Cael shrugged at me.

“Are you fucking serious right now?” I hissed at him.

“What?” He turned to me like the enemy hadn’t just invaded our team with a smile. I was missing something and wasn’t a fan of being left out. I stared him down for a minute, knowing eventually he’d crack under the pressure. “Players transfer, Dean.” He looked at me with those endless blue eyes and his brows twitched.

“There’s something else going on. There’s no way he’d transfer here, ” I said, recognizing the tell of Cael Cody hiding information from me.

“Well, he did,” he said like it was a matter of fact. “And you’re the captain, so you get to deal with the shit storm he brings.”

“That’s the other problem. Why the hell didn’t Coach warn me?” I slumped back in my seat as more guys flooded onto the bus. Josh followed Arlo; both tense as they sunk into the only empty seats at the front. Silas made space for Josh as Arlo found his place beside Ella without a word.

I hated this.

“He didn’t warn anyone. He handed me the clipboard this morning and told me to bring it to Silas five minutes before Josh arrived,” Cael explained, his eyes forward. “I know it feels like the end of the world, but you can handle it, and we need a pitcher.”

“Not that one,” I grumbled. “If he calls me Tuck one more time…”

“You're taking this whole captain thing too seriously. You’re turning into Arlo,” Cael teased.

“Shut up,” I groaned, closing my eyes as the bus started. “How do I captain a player I fucking hate?”

“Arlo’s been doing it for three years,” Cael laughed.

“Who the hell does he hate?” I asked.

“All of us,” he snorted, and that was all it took to break the tension. “The only person on this bus he enjoys being around is Ella, and unless you wanna role play, I don’t think you’re getting in his good books any time soon,” Cael teased. “You’re also the size of a bear, and I don’t think Arlo is into…” His eyes drifted down to my sweatpants. “...Prize-winning roosters.”

I huffed, but a soft laugh came out as the bus lurched forward.

“At least the guys know you didn’t sleep your way to the captain position?” Cael laughed.

“That was in question?” I looked at him, scandalized. He laughed harder.

“It’s a damn good thing you’re handsome,” Cael shook his head. “I’m going to nap now. Can we schedule the next mental breakdown for when I wake up?”

Yeah…yeah, sorry,” I said as he got comfortable. “Don’t worry about me. I'll just be here having an existential crisis.”

“I don’t think that’s the term you’re looking for,” Cael mumbled, nearly asleep.

As soon as Cael fell asleep the worry seeped back in, and most of the bus ride was spent with me going through a binder Arlo had given me.

“I kept this the entire time I was captain. It’s all the guys' information, numbers, weaknesses, and strengths. Use it. Memorize it. Add to it.” He stared at me with his hand on the top of it. “You’re more than capable of carrying this team, Tucker.”

He’d meant to be encouraging, but every bit of that encouragement added weight to my already crumbling shoulders. There was so much expected of me now that I had the title of captain. The binder was extensive, though. It had clippings from articles tucked into each of the players' sections and notes from games over the last three years. Arlo had watched us all and made some sort of endearing yet…sick scrapbook of all our accomplishments.

I hadn’t dared flip to my tab— Franklin . Whatever was inside would either pile on pressure or break what little confidence I had left. Arlo’s opinion of me, his real one, unseen and unspoken… I couldn’t deal with that. Not right now. There was too much on my mind.

How to be a great captain was at the forefront, quickly followed by the overwhelming smell of Cael’s cologne and the scratchy fabric of the bus seats. The air felt like I was being suffocated, churning the contents of my stomach until they inched up my throat.

“I’m gonna be sick.” I climbed over Cael and hurried to the bathroom as the bus made another jerky turn. I lost my step and slammed into the tiny bathroom. My shoulders were too big for the space, and the rocking motions of the bus made it feel so much smaller.

“I can’t do this.” I stared into the warped plastic mirror at my twisted reflection, that did nothing but amplify my anxiety. “Why the fuck did they think I could do this?” I swore and leaned on the counter with all my weight.

“I’m not a captain. I’m barely a human being.” My shirt suddenly felt less like an extra large and more like a small. It constricted my throat and stuck to every muscle, drenched in sweat that I swore wasn’t there a moment ago. “The only guy you’ve ever loved can’t love you back, you can’t tell your parents that you’re gay, and now you have to pull the team together for the hardest season they’ll face in the past six years.”

I swallowed the vomit that rose.

“Why my season? Why Logan?” I bit down hard on my bottom lip and breathed through my nose to settle my stomach.

A knock came from the door and I popped it open to find Silas staring at me.

“You alright?” He handed me a water bottle but didn’t let go of it even as I nodded half-heartedly. The bus lurched forward, and I lost my balance again. “Try again, golden boy,” he said.

“I’m fine, just a little motion sick,” I said, straightening out. I tried to roll out my shoulders, but the bus bathroom was not made for a six-four, two hundred-and-fifty-pound first baseman, and my shoulders brushed against the walls uncomfortably.

“First time for everything, I guess.” He narrowed his gaze, finally letting go of the bottle. He crossed his arms over his chest and his head cocked to the side as he examined me with his stupid, judgemental, gray eyes.

“I’m fine, Doc,” I lied.

“You’re going to do alright,” he offered, ignoring my answer. “Logan is a speed bump. You know how to captain these guys. You were born a leader. If anyone can bring them together, it’s you. Just…” Silas’s eyes trailed up the bus to where Josh sat with his headphones over his ears. “Give him a chance.”

I watched Silas’s demeanor soften, just for a moment. Deep, somewhere beneath all that hardened older brother nonsense, there was a heart he was just trying to safeguard.

“Alright.” I nodded, taking another deep breath as the nausea settled slightly. “But making the team accept him is going to take a miracle.”

“Start brainstorming, Tucker. You’ve got three hours till we hit camp. Then it’s martial law.”

Spring camp was arguably the best part of pre-season. It was two weeks of pure team bonding out in the middle of the woods. We slept in cabins, played games, trained, and came together before the start of the season. It was typically players and a few staff members. Nicholas declared last year that he’d rather chew off his own arm than come to spring camp, but the moment Arlo volunteered to be a chaperone, suddenly Nicholas was ready to go.

Silas always came. I think he liked it out there, in the middle of nowhere, with no responsibilities other than hanging out with the team. But that was when there was no animosity amongst the players, and everyone got along.

Josh threw a wrench in the dynamic. He was a live wire—he always had been. Loud and obnoxious, he was always looking for a fight and would do anything to get one. He got under my skin quickly and with such ease, which was part of the problem. I couldn’t stop the rage that bubbled up in his presence, and if I couldn’t control my feelings about him, how was I supposed to expect that of the guys?

It was going to be a long two weeks.