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THE brADYS MADE AND CLAIMED - GROUP TEXTS

Jameson

Do you wanna explain yourself, young lady?

Angie

Who, me?

Jameson

Damn I forgot we had another woman in here.

Edie

There’s four of us now. Or did you forget about me and Nicole too?

Jameson

I actually did. My bad.

Edie

Douche

Jaxson

So which young woman did you mean? Be pacific now.

Jameson

Pacific? Like the ocean. Please tell me you’re not serious right now?

Jaxson

What?

Jameson

Oh lord. That watered down Brady intelligence is strong in you, young one.

Jameson

I don’t know how Edie puts up with you.

Edie

I put up with him because I know when he’s taking the piss.

Jaxson

Ah Eddie, I could’ve driven him mad with that.

Jameson

You’re such a moron.

Jenson

He’s talking to Buttercup.

Jameson

No I’m not, Jaxson’s the moron.

Jenson

Now who’s got watered down Brady Intelligence, brother?

Jameson

Fair point.

Penny

Is there a reason my phone’s blowing up? Any pacific reason?

Jaxson

That’s why you’re my fave.

Jameson

Wanna explain why you’re unemployed and why I found out from Tom Rubin and his adorable daughter and not you?

Penny

Snitch. Do Mama and my dad know?

Jenson

What happened?

Angie

Pen, are you okay?

Edie

Penelope...

Penny

Guys, I’m fine. I’ve worked in the school for a long time and just needed a change of scenery. That’s all. Jameson just has a big mouth.

Jenson

I smell bullshit, Buttercup.

Penny

Maybe that’s because your nose is so far up your boss’s ass.

Jenson

Funny. But I still smell bullshit.

Penny

Maybe you should see a doctor about that. It seems to happen a lot.

Jenson

Especially when my family hides things from me.

Penny

Two words… THE brIDESMAID

Jenson

That was different. I didn’t risk losing my home.

Penny

Dramatic much?

Jameson

Penny, we've known you our entire lives. This isn’t like you. You can’t blame us for being worried.

Penny

Okay, fine. I know you’re worried, but don’t be. I’m a big girl.

Jameson

It’s okay to ask for help, Pen.

Jaxson

We’re your brothers. You’re supposed to depend on us.

Jenson

You’re always there for us, let us do the same.

Penny

Jeez what’s with the Brady therapy session?

Penny

I’m fine. I have savings that will cover rent and everything for a while.

Penny

I’m not that stupid.

Penny

Now, if you know anyone who would wanna hire me, let me know.

Penny

And Jenson… I’m still mad at you.

Jenson

You can’t still be mad. I said sorry.

Penny

You called me Buttercup in front of everyone, made those ridiculous comments on those Instagram posts, and I know you went to his office to talk to him.

Jenson

He’s my boss. And friend. And you were brutal.

Angie

You were pretty cutthroat.

Penny

Ugh! When did this place become the Ben appreciation group? And how did you even know, Angie?

Angie

Erm… no comment.

Penny

Jameson. You have a big mouth.

Jameson

I’m not even sorry about it.

Angie

Shit, if that irritated you, you probably won’t like what I’m going to say next…

Penny

Oh goodie, more things to annoy me.

Angie

Well if you’re going to be crabby, I won’t bother to say anything.

Penny

Ugh you’ve become impossible since you got with a Brady.

Edie

Nah, she’s always been like that.

Angie

Rude. But I kinda like it.

Angie

I’m with your dad, and he knows you’re unemployed. I’m sorry.

Penny

Just fanfuckingtastic.

Angie

It gets worse.

Penny

You’re killing me right now.

Angie

He said he knows of a job going. It pays well. Has great benefits. You can start right away and you could do it easily.

Penny

Okay what's the catch?

Angie

It’s his job.