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SISTERS FROM OTHER MISTERS (THAT INCLUDES YOU, JAMESON) - GROUP TEXTS

Edie

Oh my god are you all okay?

Angie

We didn’t feel anything here.

Nicole

Pen, are you two okay?

Jameson

New York hasn’t had an earthquake in years. Trust it to happen when you’re visiting the city, Pen.

Penny

We’re fine. We were in the hotel when it happened. It only lasted a few seconds. It’s not that big a deal.

Angie

I have so many jokes on the tip of my tongue but I’ll let them slide.

Edie

I disagree. It is a big deal. The ground literally shook all around you. That’s not normal.

Penny

Does the earth not move for you and Jaxson when you’re in a hotel room?

Edie

No, we don’t have earthquakes here.

Angie

I don’t think she meant those.

Jameson

Was that your subtle way of telling us Ben rocked your world?

Angie

Did you make Big Ben dong?

Jameson

You bumped uglies so hard the ground shook?

Angie

He fucked you so hard the whole city stopped to applaud?

Jameson

Noice.

Angie

Thanks, you inspired me.

Penny

Jokes on you. No one rocked anyone’s world. He’s my boss and that’s it.

Angie

But what about the sexy knickers?

Jameson

Did you show him the sexy PANTIES?

Angie

Knickers.

Jameson

Bless your heart. It’s panties, you live in America, you’re shacked up with a quarterback and all your friends are tied to Americans. Call them panties, you jabroni.

Angie

Jabroni? I like it. And never. They will always be knickers to me. And a lift is a lift, and the back of a car is called a boot. I said what I said, come fight me.

Jameson

So stubborn.

Nicole

Shouldn’t we be grilling Penny on why she hasn’t slept with her boss, not arguing over terminology?

Nicole

And Angie, you’re wrong. It’s panties, elevator and trunk. Come fight me.

Angie

You’re my nemesis.

Nicole

You love me really.

Angie

I do, I really do.

Angie

Penny, why haven’t you boned that dawg? Imagine the American accent.

Penny

It’s just not happened. New York has been magical and that’s enough.

Angie

I smell bullshit.

Penny

Are you next to Jenson? He normally exudes that stench.

Jameson

I spat my coffee out.

Angie

Cute. But I don’t buy it.

Penny

Well I’m not selling, so we’re all good.

Penny

Listen, we’ll be back in a couple of hours. You can all annoy me then. Now I’m going to have a long soak in the tub before getting on the plane. Laters, jabroni’s.