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THE brADYS MADE AND CLAIMED - GROUP TEXTS

Jenson

Did you guys know Jaxson was a mama’s boy?

Jameson

Yep.

Jaxson

Hey, why are we picking on Jaxson?

Jameson

Because it’s fun.

Jaxson

Least favorite.

Jameson

Oh no, I’m so sad - sarcasm btw.

Jaxson

Douche

Jenson

When you’re both finished…

Jenson

You done?

Jaxson

Yep.

Jameson

Get on with it.

Jenson

Jaxson is a mama's boy. She sends him care packages.

Angie

I was under the impression you were all mama’s boys?

Jenson

Kitten…

Angie

Am I wrong?

Jenson

You are.

Angie

I don’t think so.

Lockheart

Why am I here? And you’re not wrong, Angie. They’re all a bunch of mama’s boys.

Nicole

Was thinking the same thing.

Jaxson

There’s nothing wrong with getting things sent over to me. I miss home and Mama is the only one nice to me.

Nicole

Ah now I feel bad. There’s nothing wrong with being a mama’s boy. I want Lucky to be one when he grows up.

Lockheart

Pffft.

Jaxson

Oh shut up. I know you message Mama all the time and she sends you things too. So now who’s the mama’s boy?

Lockheart

I never said there was anything wrong with it. And that was a secret.

Jaxson

Whoops.

Jenson

I’m not a mama’s boy.

Angie

For god’s sake. You won’t curse in front of her, you keep everything tidy because you don’t want to disappoint her, you offer beverages to anyone who walks in your door. You call her every day and see her most days and she’s the most important person in your life. You’re the very definition of a mama’s boy.

Jenson

Well damn.

Jameson

From that we definitely are all mama’s boys.

Angie

Also there’s nothing wrong with getting care packages. Edie and Jaxson send them to me too.

Jenson

For real?

Angie

Yes you div.

Jameson

Div? Did you mean dic? Cause I gotta tell you, that’s not how it’s spelled.

Angie

No, I know. It’s spelt J-A-M-E-S-O-N. I know how to spell. A div is an idiot.

Lockheart

A moron

Edie

An imbecile

Angie

A twatwaffle

Lockheart

Basically, a div is Jaxson.

Jaxson

You’re a bully. I’m telling Mama.

Lockheart

Snitch.

Angie

@Jenson Where do you think I get the jelly tots and fruit pastels you love from?

Jenson

Wegmans?

Angie

No. Edie sends them to me.

Penny

Jenson, you’re worse at spreading gossip than the old ladies who feed the swans downtown and sit on the benches.

Jenson

Ah, there she is. And just so you know, Agatha and Myrtle have the best gossip.

Jenson

So how was work today, Buttercup?

Penny

Shoot. I knew I should’ve stayed quiet.

Lockheart

What happened? Do I need to hurt someone?

Jaxson

Oh you don’t wanna be here, but now you wanna know what’s going on, huh?

Lockheart

Shut up. If Penny’s having trouble of course I’ll be there.

Jaxson

You love us. It makes me so happy.

Lockheart

Dick.

Angie

You mean JAMESON lol

Jameson

Such a child.

Jenson

A-hem. Back to Penny.

Penny

You’re really pissing me off.

Jaxson

And saved. Just in case I need it for future blackmail.

Penny

Least favorite brother.

Jaxson

Well Angie’s my fave sister. So there.

Angie

No I’m not.

Jaxson

I can’t have anyone.

Nicole

You’ve got Owen.

Lockheart

NICO.

Jaxson

You’re right. I do have my old timer. He’s my favorite.

Lockheart

Now look what you did.

Jenson

Off subject again, Buttercup. I swear there’s too many people here.

Lockheart

Want me to leave?

Jaxson

I’ll bring you back if you do.

Penny

Ugh. If it shuts you up. My boss pissed me off by acting all douchebag arrogant boss man, demanding tea at a certain time, which, by the way. I find ridiculous. Dude, drink coffee like the rest of us grown ups.

Edie

I drink tea.

Penny

You’re adorable. You’re fine.

Jenson

If it’s any consolation, he was sorry after.

Penny

No, it’s not. And I’m beginning to question your loyalties.

Jenson

Don’t be rude. You know I’ve always got your back and your best interests at heart.

Jameson

Let me get this right. Your boss asked you to make him tea and it pissed you off? Something’s not adding up.

Penny

Well maybe your calculator’s not working. I’m going now. Byeeeeeeeee

Jameson

Jenson, any additional light you can shed on this situation?

Jenson

I do, but I’ve been sworn to secrecy. By the way, my gossip loving brother, you’re Myrtle…

Jameson

Oh goody.

Jaxson

I’m always left out. Lockheart, you can be my UK Agatha, and I’ll be UK Myrtle.

Lockheart

Agatha? Nope. Either I’m Myrtle or I’m not playing.

Jaxson

Fine.

Jenson

You two are adorable.

Lockheart

Meh.