Page 41 of His Retribution

Maybe-friends do not react that way.

Fucking Joyce.

But this is exactly what I need.

I need to see an attractive woman attempting to grope my man, that way I'll remember I can never have him.

And I should definitely not refer to him asmyman.

Yep.

This is exactly what the doctor ordered.

He is not mine and never will be mine because I'm leaving and probably dying in the very near future.

End of discussion.

Topic closed.

Oh, but then his face, his gorgeous fucking face completely transforms from the scary scowl he was giving Joyce to the most perfect smile when he sees me and my heart wants to break through my chest and beg him to love it.

Nope.

Can't do that.

So I return his blinding beauty with a tight smile and curt nod, ignore his adorably confused expression that follows, let Posey introduce me to Henrich, Grace, and Allie, then go about my business behind the bar.

* * *

The night wears on, their conversation light and easy, hard to ignore. Everyone is polite and tries to include me, tries not to be invasive while still attempting to get to know me. The back and forth, the lighthearted digs and insults between the men are so funny that I find my walls cracking, and find myself laughing along with them. I also find I get along so well with all of them, the same as I get along with Casey and Posey; naturally and organic.

And when Havok brings up Samson I can't help but gush about my super smart good boy fur baby. To which Kai entices me even more by dangling the invitation to visit their horses in front of me.

Apparently, part of their land has a large stable with multiple horses that they ride regularly, and next to my baby dog, horses are my favorite animal.

But that is big fat no as well.

They could have a goddamn panda bear that rides an elephant while playing the trombone and I still wouldn't go over to their property.

Nope.

Maybe.

I would actually love to see a panda riding an elephant.

But nope.

Temptation ignored.

Casey screeches last call and tops off her family while I start cashing out tabs and cleaning up a little. I can feel Havok staring at me, feel those ice blues burning my skin. But I don't look up; I can't. Not with the realization that I’ve fallen for him and will completely destroy my stupid heart when I leave because of it.

I can't believe I was so stupid.

Falling for a man when I have no intention of staying, when I know deep down I only have about two weeks left to avoid dying at the hand of a nightmare.

Stupid.

I sigh and turn from the cash register just in time to see fucking Joyce place a hand on Havok's chest, and attempt to trace the delicious line between his gigantic pecs. Then I see fucking red, white, and all the rest of the colors.